A/N: Random Carth insert! Couldn't resist! Keeping the ages correct in this damn thing was tough. But it gave me an excuse to replay the game again (not like I wasn't going to anyway). Also as a preface to this chapter, I don't think sarcasm leads to the darkside (future chapter title) so I think that Revan would need a much better reason than that (that's all they really put as explanation in the game or at least that's how it came across from Bastilla every time my character made a smart mouth comment), so this is my stupid attempt at giving her one. Also, aren't first loves the most intense? Ah just think back to Jolee's speech on controlling passions and such while being in love. Uh, surname time. I chose Talke because that's what the surname of my PC was and I thought it sounded really good with 'Revan' and it sounded good with Brenan. Besides it's a play on 'talk', which Revan does a lot.

The Ties That Bond

Chapter 2 – Close to Completion

Vrook knew it would come to this. He knew from the moment he took her on that this day would be coming. He foresaw it; because of course it had happened to many others before. But this, this was different. This was dangerous. This could bring the downfall of the all the order.

Revan Talke was turning sixteen.

And by the recent actions of all the young men in the area, they were aware of it too.

There had always been attractive members of the order and various problems occurring with that. But she was not just attractive. Revan was vibrant. He knew even when she was alienated from her age group that this would happen. He knew when she distanced her class by exceeding them. He knew that she would be the one to unleash this terror.

Hormones were the way to the darkside and his own annoyance. He was busy almost every day lecturing the boys on the problems with distracting attractions. Every time he had one of those lecture, he could sense it from the look in their eyes. That if they were to stray. It would be with a certain Padawan.

It was bad enough that she was this distracting within the Academy. To make matters worse, Coruscant was a Republic capital. Which meant Republic Soldiers, very easily distracted soldiers. He was more worried about her than them, they usually knew better than to approach a Jedi, but more than once did one of his female students have to brush off a lewd attempt at her femininity.

Usually it was easy to disregard a wayward solider. But some of the more naïve girls were not used to compliments, and tended to take them at face value. Fortunately most naïve girls traveled with not naïve girls or boys and were steered in the right direction.

It was not a common practice, but there were known to be a few Jedi to engage in relationships, most outcomes leading to hardships and failure. But if it were encouraged it or ignored, the whole order would be thrown into chaos.

And the catalyst to that even would have to be an overeager Padawan, very soon to be Knight. He had not told her yet, but he knew that she knew.

He was trying to hold it off until she was at least eighteen, but then he had tried to hold off on her earning her Padawan status until she was eleven and he saw how well that turned out.

She seemed to be slowing down a bit, not in her progress, but in her voracious appetite for success. Something she would need to control if she was every to fully master herself.

He suspected that Malak had something to do with her slight self-control. Though with the amount of trouble she had gotten into since the two had teamed up of sorts, he would not call her change that large. He could not count all the mischief and infractions that those two had stacked up over the years. Including a very embarrassing holovid of Master Zhar's head transposed onto a teen melodrama, Whisper Winds.

He could only worry that they would get much larger. And that was the dilemma. He had talked to Malak, the more sensible of the two. But he had brushed off the conversation, saying that it would be an illogical approach to the situation. Whether he was referring to the situation that Vrook was hinting at, or the one that he said plainly was still unknown. Malak was always very good at hiding his emotions.

When of course Revan was not in his presence.

He could hear the two of them approaching him before he even saw them. They were arguing lightly about something that he was sure he did not want to be aware of. But he had heard the words 'motor' and 'crossed wires' and that could never amount to anything good.

"All I'm saying is that if you had been a bit more specific, the thing wouldn't have blown up!" Revan gritted her teeth in frustration. She was trying to be nice; it was her birthday after all. She would be seeing her brother in less than an hour, if she could convince the Masters to let her off early.

Malak glared down at her. He was now at least a foot taller than her, and to her constant frustration he was still growing. "How much more specific than 'crossing wires is extremely dangerous' do I have to be?"

She rolled her eyes. "You ALWAYS say stuff like that. I just ignore you. But if the words 'blow up' or 'explode' had of come from your mouth..." she grinned cheekily. "I might have listened a bit more carefully."

He shook his head in exasperation and groaned. "If I held you down and yelled in your ear, you still wouldn't listen to me."

Revan blinked and looked at him. "What did you say?" Malak glared at her before letting loose a dry chuckle and shoving her off to the side.

She grinned ear-to-ear and jumped up a bit as she caught sight of Master Vrook. "Should I ask him?" she whispered to Malak who shrugged.

"Ask me what, Revan?" Vrook looked suspicious. He wanted nothing more than to turn off his hearing and pretend he had never heard anything about wiring or blowing up, but he was worried they were not done with it.

Revan took a step back in surprise and grinned nervously. She fiddled with the bottom of her robes. "Well as you know... it's my birthday."

Vrook nodded. "Sixteen and still impertinent as ever."

Malak coughed trying to cover his sharp laugh and Revan turned red. "Well... you see, my brother, um... well he came on a supply run and..." she bit her lip. "Well I know I usually wait till after classes, but since I'm ahead in my studies..." her robes were wrinkling from the way she was wringing her hands with them. Vrook made no move to stop her. She sighed in defeat. "I was wondering if I could leave a bit early to see him?"

Vrook eyed her carefully. "I don't see why not..."

Revan frowned "Why, that's not fair! I mean I'm already..." she stopped and looked at him blankly. "Wait, what?"

He shook his head. "I see no reason to keep you, as long as you remain respectful of the area and keep out of trouble while you're gone."

Revan was shocked; she had not rehearsed a response for him actually saying yes. "Um... thank you, Master Vrook."

He brushed it aside. "Think of it as a birthday present, now get going before I change my mind!"

She grinned brightly and swung her arms around him quickly. He patted her awkwardly on the back and she let go before grinning at Malak. "I'll see you at the library tomorrow morning!"

Malak nodded and gave his best attempt at a smile. She ran off quickly and he dissolved into a frown, he was too busy watching her skip off to notice that Master Vrook was still there. After a slight cough he readjusted his features to face him. "Why did you let her go?"

Vrook eyed him suspiciously. "Her brother is a good officer, he has not been a hindrance to her studies. I see no need to guard her from him."

Malak looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it. "But..." he sighed. "Those, Republic soldiers are..." he clenched his hand around his lightsaber protectively. "They have no respect."

Vrook nodded solemnly. "Yes I know..."

Malak was loosing his temper, which was very unlike him. "Then why did you let her go?"

He smiled thoughtfully to himself. "Her brother is also very protective of her and some of the Republic soldiers might show more... respect with a bit of assistance."

Malak was shocked that Vrook could be this devious, but it did put a bit of slowing on his heart. "That is very wise, Master," he said with the faint trace of a smile.

"Old age does that, Padawan, now go on, I never said you were excused."

Malak nodded and trotted off to class.

---

"Hey Onasi, you deaf?" one of his fellow crewmates poked him in arm, hard.

Carth looked up from his datapad, he was more than a little annoyed. "What, Jones?"

Jones smiled toothily and held up his drink. "I said: 'the Captain sure has been ragging on you lately.'"

Carth grinned wryly, without loosing grip on his datapad. "Well he's just haggard from those reports on the outer rim... and you know what they say?"

Jones looked to the crewmen by him and shook his head. They all said in unison. "Karath the Kath Hound!"

Laughter broke out and general ribbing amongst the ranks that were 'stationed' in the Cantina for the time being. The poor saps on 'drag duty' were loading up, as the rest of the crew enjoyed their day to themselves. And they did what all republic soldiers did on the small bit of 'shore time' they got. They drank themselves into a stupor and got yelled at by the Captain in the morning.

"So, Onasi what are you writing on that datapad, anyway?" one of the younger crewmembers grinned, obviously intoxicated already from the Coruscant lager.

Carth bristled. "None of your business, Ensign."

Jones laughed. "Oh... don't go all Lieutenant on us, Carth or we might have to give you over to the Captain to play with."

He frowned. "I'm not that bad."

Another of the crew, Hurst, laughed. "He's too serious for us now, boys... he's getting on in age, got a wife and family and he's approaching that number..."

They all looked somberly at him and shook their heads. Jones sighed. "Three – O... you never think it'll happen to one of us, but then..."

Carth scowled at him. "I've still got a few years to go, not out of my prime yet!"

Jones was about to make another comment, but a very attractive waitress came by to fill up their drinks with a smile and everyone instinctively straightened up. When she left, their lingering gazes went with her. Hurst leaned back in his chair and let out a low appreciative whistle. Carth shook his head and mumbled something about growing up. Jones just looked at the quiet crewman beside him.

"What's the matter, Talke? You got something better to think about than that pair of legs that walked by?"

The wayward man looked up in a distracted haze. "Sorry, what?"

Hurst looked him over. "Brenan, she's gotta be one hell of a women if she leaves you that distracted!"

Brenan shook his head and sighed, obviously not listening. "What do sixteen year old girls like?"

Jones almost choked on his ale. "That's a little young for you, don't you think?"

Brenan narrowed his vision at him. "I'm talking about my sister, you idiot."

The Ensign blinked. "You have a sister?"

He nodded. "Yeah, don't get to see her much though..."

Carth sighed. "That's they way it is with everyone in this damn fleet."

Jones shrugged him off. "Just go back to writing your pining letters to your woman, Onasi." Carth glared at him, but obliged and began to study his datapad more closely. Jones leaned back towards Brenan. "I thought your sister was like twelve or something?"

He shook his head and took a sip of mead. "Nah, she just turned sixteen... that picture I have is just old... not like she changes much."

Hurst nodded. "She cute?"

Jones laughed as Brenan glared. "What the hell kind of question is that?"

"A valid one, Talke!" Jones laughed again. "If she's anything like Hurst's mom, she's gotta be smoking."

Hurst frowned and threw his cap at Jones. "Stop talking about my mom!"

Brenan laughed. "That's what you get... I don't have to worry about her anyway..."

Hurst looked vaguely insulted. "What? Are you saying I couldn't charm your sister?" he grinned lightly with the death stare he got from Brenan. "Not that I would... her being so young and all."

Brenan shook his head. "No, I never have to worry about you or someone actually threatening," he grinned at Hurst's 'mock-hurt' reaction, "Because she's not going to date or marry or anything stupid like that."

Jones shook his head. "That's a fairy tale man, you can't protect them forever, I bet she has the guys line up for her, no matter how good a head she's got on her shoulders, something always happens."

Brenan shook his head and smiled fiercely. "Bless whatever the hell the Force is, because I never have to worry about it."

The Ensign blinked. "She's a Jedi?"

Brenan nodded and sipped his drink again. "And she's a Talke, so she's the best damn one they have."

Hurst shook his head. "I just can't picture anyone related to you being... so boring."

Brenan sighed. "I didn't say she was a perfect Jedi, I just said she was the best one," he grinned, "trust me, my sister is anything but boring."

"Well that's good to know, wouldn't want think I went boring on you," a sharp edged feminine voice broke through the male aura. Brenan grinned and jumped up wrapping his sister in a hug, she wrapped her slender arms around his neck and he hoisted her up.

Hurst, Jones and the Ensign were seriously considering joining the Jedi after seeing her.

Brenan laughed as he left her down. "You're going to make me throw my back out, kid!"

Revan pouted and her nose scrunched up. "Are you calling me fat?"

He grinned and held her at arms length. "Lemme get a good look at you, kiddo." She stood patiently as he examined how tall she had gotten, how long her hair had grown, how old she looked. He shook his head. She was going to be trouble if he did not get her out of here soon. "C'mon, kid, why don't you show me around?"

He wrapped a supportive arm around her slender shoulders and she practically skipped out of the cantina as they walked off.

Hurst let out a low long whistle. "What... a waste."

Jones nodded in agreement. "I'll say, maybe we should hang out near the Academy more often."

---

"We shouldn't be doing this..." Malak wrenched his hands together; he was going to have a stroke before he turned twenty if he kept hanging around Revan like this.

She scoffed and waved her hand. "Just keep saying that and reassuring yourself, as long as you hand me the wrench." Malak sighed nervously and looked behind him in the cold night air. "No one is watching you, stop being paranoid."

He blinked; it was too weird sometimes how she could do that. He handed her the wrench as she bent over to get deeper in the engine. He glanced at her form in the cool twilight. He knew he should not have looked, but it was the one thing she never caught him doing. He had to have something, right? He sighed and tried not to linger, but in her current position, she was showing off her best... assets.

It might have had to do with the tight racing pants she was currently employing. Or the fact that one of her long legs was sticking out just the right way. But Malak was certain that she could be wearing a sack and he would still get shivers up his neck when she walked by.

And that was what scared him.

That is what had been scaring him for two of the longest years of his life. He knew he should have listened better to Master Vrook two years ago when he hinted at Malak that going to Dantooine to continue his training might be a good idea. He should have realized this was going to happen. He sighed and shifted his position to get a better view. He had known this was coming, but he thought he could control it.

He thought the code would stop this crush from becoming... becoming something that he refused to acknowledge. He knew he would have to face it eventually. And then he would have to leave and he knew it. But for now he was content just watching her and being with her. If he could just keep it to that level, then he could control it. He could control how he felt, because it was not proper for a Knight to act otherwise.

Sometimes he vainly wished that things had been different, that they 'had' been rivals, as he had been expecting, that they were not Jedi and just two teenagers on the cusp of adulthood that were best friends.

Of course he highly doubted even if anything could happen that it would. Revan had many more options than him. She could just walk into the Cantina and someone would throw a marriage proposal her way. She could probably get someone to leave the order for her.

Malak's heart caught in his throat as he realized the most frightening thought: He would leave the order for her.

He sighed as she lifted herself up and brushed off her hands on those tight racing pants and shook her hair out of her face. "I think I fixed it!" she grinned.

"Joy of joys," Malak managed.

She frowned and shoved him off balance. "Stop being such a baby... we need the credits!"

He matched her frown. "Why, again?"

She stumbled for a moment and he knew instantly she was hiding something from him. "For when we go on that trip to Yavin 12 in a month," her eyes darted to quickly away from his.

"What aren't you telling me?"

She shrugged and smiled. "Stop being so paranoid... I'm not hiding anything," she lied.

His frown increased, but he kept the suspicion to himself. "This is extremely dangerous, you know."

Her eyes lit up and a dazzling smile graced her face. "I know, isn't it exiting?"

"Exiting? You call dragging me to the lower dregs of Coruscant to watch you speed across a tiny runway filled with wreckage and 'pads' that propel you at unnaturally high speeds, exiting?"

She nodded. "Yup."

He groaned, "You're going to get yourself killed."

Revan rolled her eyes. "Just be a good boy and help me roll it to the starting gate. My heat starts in fifteen minutes."

He tried not to grimace as she pulled on the helmet that was supposed to save her life, when all it looked like it would do was mess up her hair. "Just be careful," he sighed as she pulled on her gloves. "For once."

She took the helmet off and shook her hair out, again. "Why are you so nervous? This is bad, even for you."

Malak looked paler than usually and he felt faint. "I... I'm not nervous, but this is dangerous and I'm worried."

She gave him a genuine smile and shook her head. "I'll be fine, Malak, I know what I'm doing."

He scoffed. "Like the first time you took a swoop bike out?"

He could tell her face was reddening even by the small amount of light the outside generator was providing. She wrapped her arms around herself. "That... that wasn't that bad for a first time!"

Malak arched an eyebrow. "The bike went on the run without you..." she reddened some more and began spluttering. "You're just lucky you weren't on it when it ran into the wall."

She glared at him. "Well that was a long time ago, I'm much better now!"

He shook his head. "Only because you never could let something go, if you aren't good at something you have to beat your score and everyone else's. What are you going to do Revan, become the swoop bike champion of the Republic?"

She dug her feet in a bit. "Maybe... I don't know."

He groaned. "You have to focus on your training more... you just don't know how to act like a proper Jedi."

She bit her lip. "I'm a fine Jedi, they made me a Knight didn't they?"

He sighed. "Yes I know, we're the youngest Knights in the order, but-"

"But what, Malak?" she snapped and cut him off. "I can handle myself just fine without you constantly criticizing me? Did you ever think you should loosen up a little bit?"

"I'm already far enough off the path as it is, thanks to you!" he barked.

She studied him for a moment and that hurt he had rarely seen since they were twelve was back in full force. "Well maybe you should go..."

"Revan... I didn't mean-"

She cut him off again. "Just go, Malak I can... I can..." she sniffed loudly and he realized she was holding back tears, "I can handle myself just fine I'll take the bike up myself."

He could have just let her go. He could have just turned around and taken up Vrook's early offer, never seeing her again and not having to face all the demons within himself. But the thought of her crying even one tear over him broke his heart. He grabbed out to her, making her drop the helmet and wrapped her tightly in his arms.

Revan was shocked, she had hugged him before, but he usually tolerated it. He had never gone out of his way to hug her before.

"I just can't loose you, and it kills me when you do stuff like this..." he said into her hair, trying not to think about how easy it would be to kiss her.

She was speechless for the first time in her life. She wrapped her arms around him and dug deeply into his chest just enjoying the warmth and comfort of being this close to someone. She had never been held this close before by anyone and she had no idea how much she wanted to be.

They stayed like that for a moment. Then he finally released her and tried desperately not to reveal anything in his gaze when he looked at her. "Just go... I'll watch from the stands."

She nodded softly and picked up her helmet. "I'll be careful..." she started to wheel the bike away as he turned from her. She called behind her shoulder. "Malak?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

She looked down. "Thanks for worrying."

He smiled. "It's not hard with all the crap you do."

She grinned lightly and held his gaze for a moment before turning around and wheeling the bike towards the runway.

---

"What do you mean the Mandalorians are attacking?" Revan shrieked in a very un-Jedi-like way at her brother in the hall.

He waved his hands. "Would you lower your voice, Rev?" she glared at him and he conceded. "Look I'm just telling you this, because I might not be back for a while..." he looked at her earnestly, "A long while..."

She bit her lower lip and straightened out her robes. "How long?"

Brenan shrugged and leaned back on the bench. "That depends on whether or not your Jedi friends will help..." he sighed, "They've been striking planets all across the outer rim... it wasn't highly publicized... ones out of the Republic's easy reach... now they... well they're being a bit more bold."

Revan frowned. "How bold?"

He looked at her with sad eyes. "They attacked Haven."

She let out an audible gasp. "Are they crazy Haven's neutral, that's a cause for all out war!"

He shook his head. "Kid, that's exactly what they're going for."

She bit her lip and frowned. She was so shocked that she forgot to correct him about the kid remark, she was twenty after all, and he could conceivably stop calling her that. "So what is the Republic going to do?"

"I don't know much, wouldn't be smart for that kind of stuff to leak out..." he looked around and grinned wryly. "But lets just say a little bird told me that it's going to be sharp A formation to cut our losses."

She frowned again. "That won't work against Mandalorians..."

He blinked. "What? What is your little mind concocting now?"

She had her game face on. "I've studied their culture, they would have studied your attack strategy and prepared for every logical formation. That one is too obvious. You should cut them off at their higher flanks first to catch them off guard."

Brenan tried not to think about the fact that his little sister had one of the strongest military minds out there and decided to look like he was humoring her instead. "I'll tell that to the Admiral when I see him next, sir."

Her mouth twisted into a look of disgust. "Don't mock this..." she looked around and then back at him, "so the council is going to be helping?"

He sighed. "I hope so, we're taking heavy losses..." he decided not to say how heavy, or that this wasn't the first time talking to the council. "That's how I got to hang a quick trip over here to tell you in person."

She smiled briefly. "Thank you," her game face was still on. "I wonder where they'll put me when we enter the war..."

Brenan's eyes widened. "What do you mean, we?"

She looked vaguely affronted. "Well I'm a Jedi Knight... I would be coming to help, obviously. I mean they'll want volunteers for this sort of thing."

He turned her around on the bench to face her better and grabbed her shoulders. "Kid, you are NOT coming out there."

She glared at him. "Why not, I'm not a kid any more, Bren. I'm twenty years old! And a full fledged Knight for two years!"

He shook his head. "No... no, Rev, you are my sister... my little sister! It scares me enough that you do whatever you do as Jedi... I can't handle you being out there in constant danger!"

She was shocked. "I'm not a child! I could be a great help and... wait... What do you mean you're scared of me being a Jedi, you never said anything before?"

He groaned, but kept his hands steady on her shoulders. "Sometimes... sometimes..." his hands dropped and his gaze drifted.

"Sometimes what, Bren?"

He turned to her with a heat in her eyes she had never seen before. "Sometimes I wished you'd stayed on Deralia and been married off to some farmer!"

She felt icy. She felt like he had frozen her in place. Her tone came out in a similar fashion. "I'm sure that father would have loved that... it's the only thing good for a girl there... but get this straight Brenan..." she turned him to look at her. "I'm not a child and even if I had never have been accepted into the order, even if I was Force dry, I would have left Deralia... I would have joined up and been fighting next you in ranks. It's who I am."

He looked at her sadly. "You're all I have left, Rev, I just want who you are to be alive..."

She looked at him and shook her head. "You can't trap me in a box... I'm not six any more."

He smiled briefly and pushed back some of her hair. "You'll always be six to me, kid."

She did not get a chance to respond. The doors to the council slammed open and a harrowing Admiral stormed out of the chambers. A Jedi trustee tried to catch up with him and the equally sour soldiers following him. He stopped upon seeing Brenan.

"Up you get, Lieutenant. We need all the men we can get now..." he hissed looking at Revan.

Brenan protectively put his stance in front of her. "What happened, sir?"

"That damned council of sycophantic toads, refused our request AGAIN!" he snapped.

Revan was shocked. "What? Why?"

The Admiral seemed to glare less at her and returned to his commanding calm tone. "I have no idea, more Jedi babble about not the right time and such..."

"This isn't the first time you've asked?" she looked accusingly at her brother who shied away from her look.

"No, it most certainly is not," he gritted his teeth as the Jedi trustee caught up to him and tried to get his attention.

Revan looked at her brother in disbelief and then nodded firmly. "I'll petition them... there must be some mistake."

The Admiral turned his furious glare at the other Jedi to Revan and looked her over appraisingly. "Your sister, Lt. Talke?"

Brenan nodded proudly. "Yes, sir, Admiral Karath."

Karath shoulders stood a bit straighter as he completely ignored the Jedi behind him. "I just wish I had time to see the results... but as the saying goes, young Talke, may the Force be with you, or something to that extent. I just wish the council had your clear perspective."

Revan nodded, she knew she could never get a good sturdy case now, but maybe later. "I will speak to the council first thing tomorrow."

He nodded and appreciated her soldier's stance. "See that you do," he sighed, realizing that she was not one of his to command even more so because of the council, "Excuse me, you... you stand like your brother..." he lightened at her grin. "If you get any results... the council knows how to contact me." He waved to his flanking officers and motioned to Brenan.

Brenan looked at his sister critically. "Don't do anything stupid."

She just shot him a grin and gave him a quick hug. "How little you know me, Bren."

---

Revan threw up her hands in frustration and for the fifth time walked out of the council furious. "I can't BELIEVE them!" she barked as Malak came to her side from the where he was waiting for her.

He tried to match her heady pace and frowned. "I can't believe you keep asking..."

She turned to glare at him, but all that came out was a pitiful glower she sighed and slowed her pace feeling the weight of it all fall on her shoulders. "I don't understand what they're waiting for..."

Instead of saying that she should trust in the wisdom of the council, last time she nearly chopped off his head for it, he rested a hand lightly on her shoulder. "What did they say this time?"

She tensed and stopped, turning to him. That hurt in her eyes was back... it had been there since they had lost all communication with the fleet four months ago. "They said that it wasn't prudent to aid in the attack of the Mandalorians and that they needed to look into it some more," her shoulders rose and her lips tightened into a snarl. "How much time do they NEED? It's been six months already?"

She was hyperventilating again. Malak wound his arm around her completely and led her away from the crowds into a tree-covered area. The sun was setting into a beautiful twilight. "They'll come through... there must be something out there that we can't see..."

There was no way to argue with him. She was too weak to argue with him. She was too weak to do anything any more. She was not the only one who was on edge awaiting council's decision. Most of the Academy and surrounding Jedi thought that action needed to be taken. They were not faced with the tremendous stress that she was under. She had lost her foothold. How could she dream about do-gooding and saving the world when the one person who embodied everything good in the universe was too far out of reach?

She realized that she had shifted closer into Malak's embrace. She had done that a lot lately, it was getting too comfortable. She knew what she was feeling. She also knew that she would have kept better tabs on it if she were fighting Mandalorians right now instead of her own heart. She could feel him breathing underneath his robes. She ached to just put her hands underneath and feel the tender flesh of his shoulders. She wanted to feel his breath on her neck and just once have the gaping hole in her be filled.

She had been in this situation before. She would carefully untangle herself from him and say some offhanded comment to blow it off. But this time was different. This time it felt too good. She felt like she was made to fit in his arms. The way his hands, the hands that had broken every opponent thrown at him, except her of course, would just gently hold her. She never felt so safe, so secure.

She realized that she never wanted to feel anything less. And when Revan wanted something, she was not quick to let these things go. She could feel Malak's chin on her head. She knew that if she just tilted her head she would be kissing him and she knew that he would kiss her back. Whether he would keep kissing her, was the real question.

She began to sob softly into his chest and he held her a bit closer. "Revan?" his voice rumbled through his chest and she could feel his breath tickle her ears. She moved her hands on his back forcing him the closest he had ever gotten to her. She almost could not believe that two people could wrap up that close. She could feel his heart beating twice as fast and his breathing was steadily progressing and coming out shorter. "Re- Revan?"

"Kiss me," she breathed and she could have sworn that his heart stopped.

She tilted her head to face him and stared in his eyes all her hurt showing through. And she could tell from his eyes, that all he wanted was to make it go away. So he did. He lowered his face to hers and she lifted up to meet him. All at once things seemed to fit. She could feel every emotion he had for her and it overwhelmed her.

She had no idea.

She just thought he liked her.

He held her tightly on the small of her back, lifting her higher to him, even as he leaned down. It was awkward, but all she could feel was all these tightly wound emotions running through him. And behind all that love that was flowing through her, easing every pain she had ever had, was fear.

She almost did not notice it. But there it was, a tiny string of fear bubbling up strongly inside him, holding him back from everything. Holding him back from all of this emotion. That little bit of fear was keeping him prisoner. That piece of fear was making sure that even though he needed a breath that he would keep kissing her, because he never wanted to stop.

It was not the fear that caused her knees to buckle, but it was the fear that caused her to push his shoulders away. She looked up at him caught in a strange mixture of confusion and euphoria. He did not look away from her, but bore down at her as if this was the last time he would see her.

"Malak... I..." she never finished and the words just laid there.

He pushed back a piece of her hair fondly and let his hand grace her cheek, before cupping her chin. "I know," he said steadily.

Tears were leaking at the corner of her eyes. "If I had known..."

He let his hand move so that one finger covered her lip and just stared at her for another stretched moment. Then he let his hands drop coldly and moved away from her. Now he would not meet her eyes. "I'm going to Dantooine," he said briskly.

"What?" she wrapped an arm around her protecting her from the oncoming chill. "Since when?"

He sighed deeply and held his head up and finally met her gaze. "Since now."

She felt like her chest was collapsing. "Why?" she had no idea it would come out so choked and frustrated.

"I can't do this anymore, Revan. I was a fool to think I ever could," he lifted his hand to put it on her cheek, but let it drop again. "You're too much for me... I can't."

Tears shone in her eyes even in the soft light of the evening. "I need you."

He shook his head. "You don't need me... you never really did," he sighed deeply. "You'll get over it, Revan," he added more softly in a small voice. "I only hope I will too..."

She was desperate. That comfort, it cut off the pain, if only for a moment and now it was being ripped away from her. She let her hands rise to her head, trying to get rid of the pounding headache that had suddenly attacked her. "I don't want to get over it!" she cried frantically.

Malak stayed silent, he seemed to be willing himself to move, whether to her or away she could not tell. A small voice in the back of her mind told her that he was right, that the council would disapprove and keep them apart. Then it hit her and she stared at him accusingly. "You think I'm only doing this to get back at the council?"

He lowered his vision and took steady breaths.

"You're a damn fool, Malak," she spat. A choked and hurt laugh left her lips.

He sighed. "I know."

She shook her head and closed the distance between them, she grasped his shoulders and looked at him. "No, that's the problem, you don't."

And then she kissed him and used everything she had to show him that he was not the only one able to keep his emotions locked away. She let everything go. Every moment of peace that she had felt when she was with him. It was not a boiling-over pot of emotions like his; it was a vine that wound over every part of her and she let it grow around him, winding around his mind and heart and letting him share what she knew. She was desperate. She could not loose this. It was the only thing in her life that she did not have to fight for every day and she would show him that.

They fell to the ground together still intertwined in each other's arms, too weak to move.

After enough silence for the moon to rise in full above the trees, Malak shifted and started to get up.

Revan held on to him, still afraid he would leave. He looked at her and shook his head. "It's too late..." he said softly.

He wrapped his arms around her and helped her up. They walked slowly back to the Academy still clinging to each other.

They stayed that way as he led her to his room.

And they woke up that way the next morning when she lazily kissed his chin. "Good morning," she said sleepily, letting her hand brush against his no longer undeveloped chest.

He turned to look at her and smiled. "Yes, yes it is."

---

Revan smiled to herself as she continued on her new proposal to the council. She supposed she should be irritated. It had now been close to a year since they first turned her down. But it had been six wonderful months since she had finally felt complete.

Now all she had to do was add getting her brother back to this and she would be set. A few Jedi passed her and waved in greeting. She did the same, but was focused on her task. She did not waver for another half hour, until a flash of orange greeted her peripheral vision.

She glanced up as the Republic solider was nervously looking around. She smiled lightly. He was probably lost. "Do you need some assistance?"

He turned to her and stopped, he looked down at his pad and looked graver than before. She felt a chill travel down her spine. He walked to her. "Are you Revan Talke?" he looked at her like he was hoping she would say she was someone else.

She felt like saying no. "Yes... I'm Revan, is there something wrong?" she asked it quickly, too quickly.

He handed her a datapad. A silver datapad. A silver datapad with the Republic Crest on it. A silver datapad with Brenan's identification number. A silver datapad that stole her soul. "I'm so sorry," he said with somber eyes, this was not the first one he had to give out, obviously, but he still looked willing to console her as time permitted.

But she did not cry. She fell to the floor and held the datapad in her hand like she was cradling his head in her hands. She could not find it in herself to cry. She could not find it in herself to feel.

She had gone numb.

She was broken.

She was empty.

And she could not get herself to move.

---

Malak was having a wonderful morning. He was sleeping in, because did not have to help with any classes and even though Revan had left him without warmth for a while the scent of her was still on the sheets and he could not stop inhaling it. The sun was streaking through the windows and he knew she would be coming back later to make up for leaving so abruptly.

It was okay that she left, because he knew she would be coming back to him. He smiled to himself and wondered how anyone in his or her right mind could ever discourage this. If he had known it would be this wonderful before he would have taken her in the middle of class when they were teenagers.

Of course that might be why the council discouraged it. Of course no one had said anything to either of them. And she had not spent one night in her own room since that first glorious night, so either what everyone said about forbidding love and relations was just a way to keep the teenage Padawan's hormones in check, or everyone was mind numbingly stupid not to notice.

He stretched out his muscles and started to get out of bed. He might as well clean up a bit, since the addition of his second half; his room had taken quiet a beating. Revan was not neat.

He was in the middle of picking up a pile of clothes when he heard the door slide open. He smiled and turned to find someone he could not recognize.

Revan's eyes were hollow and blank. She was stumbling into the room, grasping a sliver datapad. He took one glance at it and he knew immediately. He made his way to comfort her and she looked up at him, she was a walking corpse.

"Frag the council, Malak, we're fighting these bastards."

He always knew he would leave the council for her, he just never knew it would be this soon or for this reason.