This is my first S3 fic, so I hope it's good! Fun though it was, I have
finally got over my denial enough to write something set in S3.
Title: For Old Times' Sake
Author: Margot (aka Kittyfantastico)
Timeline: Sometime around the first few eps of S3. It'll probably go a bit AU from here.
Summary: Syd and Vaughn meet unexpectedly and begin to reminisce.
Chapter One: Chance Meeting
Her heels click on the cold floor as she walks slowly into the building she has not seen in two and a half years. That thought comes easily to her now; the adding on of two years is almost an automatic process. It hasn't always been like this. When she first came back, it was difficult to remember that so much time has passed. Now she hardly even has to think: it hasn't been a month since she was at her favourite restaurant, is has been two years and a month. Her last dentist appointment was not eight weeks ago, but two years and eight weeks ago. She's sick of the number two. Everything must have two years added on to it, and she just wishes that she could get past it. She wishes she could make new memories, ones that don't need two years added on to them. She wants to say, "I was here just last month" when she goes out somewhere. She doesn't want to notice things that are new or different. She feels like a tourist in her own city.
As she looks around, she notices that this is one of the few places - perhaps the only place - that hasn't changed a bit. She brushes her hand along one of the crates and looks down at the dust that gathers on her skin, and it comforts her. She knows that it's unlikely, but she can't help believing that this place hasn't been used since she was last here. She had never missed the warehouse - it was the embodiment of everything that was horrible about her life. It meant SD-6, and her days of hiding herself from her friends. It meant the days when she and Vaughn couldn't be seen together, and though the warehouse was where they had forged the beginnings of their relationship and would always have nostalgic qualities for Sydney, the fact that she and Vaughn could be together in public had been enough to keep her from ever wishing to go there again.
But now she would give anything to be transported back to the time when she came here every other day. Her life then had been complicated, and she'd had very little freedom, but it had been life with Vaughn. He's in her life now, of course, but it's not the same. Not by a long shot. Even when he was with Alice, Sydney had known that really they belonged to each other. Alice was just an obstacle to be overcome, and Sydney had never really considered the thought that they wouldn't. But Lauren is so much more than just an obstacle. She's his wife and Sydney knows that Vaughn isn't about to leave her. That alone is bad enough, but the fact that the three of them have to work together makes things a million times worse.
She sits down on one of the crates - somewhere she has sat a thousand times before. She closes her eyes and pictures him standing in front of her. The image is so real that she smiles blissfully, as she watches him smile at her, his eyes communicating what his lips cannot. She opens her eyes and is shattered when she remembers that it was only a daydream. She sighs as she feels tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She forces herself not to cry; it seems that she has done nothing else since she came back. She doesn't want to think about him, because if she lets herself the tears are inevitable. And yet, at the same time, all she wants to think about is him. He's all she ever thinks about. That is, after all, the reason she came here. At home, there's always a distraction. Weiss seems to be eternally in her apartment; probably because he knows that if she's alone she'll only think about Vaughn. She wanted to be quiet for a few hours and just think, so she came to the one place that has always been a sanctuary to her. And though she never missed it until now, she is beginning to realise that this has been the most important place in her relationship with Vaughn. The most important place in her life.
She knows only too well what thinking about him will do to her. But she doesn't care, because she doesn't ever want to stop thinking about him. She loves him with all her heart, and she doesn't want that feeling to stop. She knows that it will only make her unhappy, and she believes that in turn will make him unhappy but she's afraid to stop. She's afraid that if she stops loving him, there'll be nothing left.
* * *
His car pulls quietly into the space it always occupied. He gets out, shuts the door, and pauses before going in. He knows what this place represents, and what his going there symbolises. He knows what Lauren will think if she finds out. But he doesn't care. Because he has to be alone, and this is the first place - the only place - he has ever had the sense of peace that he needs. He stands outside for quite a while, part of him screaming at him to get back in the car and go home to his wife. His wife. Lauren. He loves her, he knows he does - so why is he here? Why was he drawn here on the way home from work? Why has this place, and everything that's happened here, been on his mind all day?
He tells himself that it will just be one short visit. Just to say goodbye. Goodbye to what? To the memories he has been holding dear for the past two years. He has to let go of them because they're not his lifeline anymore. For the longest time, he had nothing left of her but these memories, but now she's alive and these faded pictures in his mind are no longer her remains. He has to say goodbye to something else as well; something far dearer to him than the memories of shared smiles and exchanged kisses. He must say goodbye to his love. Until now he has been allowed to love her. She was dead - what harm could it do to keep his feelings alive? But now she's back, and his heart has been given to another. To love Sydney. . . it isn't fair. It isn't right. It isn't fair to any of them. It's no one's fault. This is just how things turned out. But sometimes, and he knows he shouldn't, he can't help but blame Lauren
And that's when he realises that, if this is anyone's fault, it's his. Because it was he who gave up, it was he who moved on. And Sydney's left to deal with the mess. It's at times when he thinks like that that he breaks down. He cries silently at night, and he suspects that Lauren knows, although she never says anything. He goes for long walks in the rain, mentally putting himself through torture over what he did to the love of his life. And then he sees what he's doing to Lauren, and puts himself though torture over that. Which only ever brings him back to Sydney again. It's a vicious circle and he has to get out of it.
* * *
Eventually, he forces himself to take the next step. He looks at the floor as he walks in, and doesn't notice the figure sitting on a crate, equally absorbed in staring at her shoes. As one person, they look up and meet each other's eyes. It is as if they have rehearsed this and know exactly when to raise their eyes.
"Sydney," he states, his voice barely above a whisper
"Vaughn," she whispers back, not knowing what else to say.
There was a time when they stood and sat in the same positions, both of their minds overflowing with things they wanted to tell each other, but could not. Now, in a moment when anything they want can pass their lips, neither can think of a single thing to say.
TBC. . .?
What do you think? Should I continue? I've got it all planned out I'd just like to know if anyone's interested in reading more.
Title: For Old Times' Sake
Author: Margot (aka Kittyfantastico)
Timeline: Sometime around the first few eps of S3. It'll probably go a bit AU from here.
Summary: Syd and Vaughn meet unexpectedly and begin to reminisce.
Chapter One: Chance Meeting
Her heels click on the cold floor as she walks slowly into the building she has not seen in two and a half years. That thought comes easily to her now; the adding on of two years is almost an automatic process. It hasn't always been like this. When she first came back, it was difficult to remember that so much time has passed. Now she hardly even has to think: it hasn't been a month since she was at her favourite restaurant, is has been two years and a month. Her last dentist appointment was not eight weeks ago, but two years and eight weeks ago. She's sick of the number two. Everything must have two years added on to it, and she just wishes that she could get past it. She wishes she could make new memories, ones that don't need two years added on to them. She wants to say, "I was here just last month" when she goes out somewhere. She doesn't want to notice things that are new or different. She feels like a tourist in her own city.
As she looks around, she notices that this is one of the few places - perhaps the only place - that hasn't changed a bit. She brushes her hand along one of the crates and looks down at the dust that gathers on her skin, and it comforts her. She knows that it's unlikely, but she can't help believing that this place hasn't been used since she was last here. She had never missed the warehouse - it was the embodiment of everything that was horrible about her life. It meant SD-6, and her days of hiding herself from her friends. It meant the days when she and Vaughn couldn't be seen together, and though the warehouse was where they had forged the beginnings of their relationship and would always have nostalgic qualities for Sydney, the fact that she and Vaughn could be together in public had been enough to keep her from ever wishing to go there again.
But now she would give anything to be transported back to the time when she came here every other day. Her life then had been complicated, and she'd had very little freedom, but it had been life with Vaughn. He's in her life now, of course, but it's not the same. Not by a long shot. Even when he was with Alice, Sydney had known that really they belonged to each other. Alice was just an obstacle to be overcome, and Sydney had never really considered the thought that they wouldn't. But Lauren is so much more than just an obstacle. She's his wife and Sydney knows that Vaughn isn't about to leave her. That alone is bad enough, but the fact that the three of them have to work together makes things a million times worse.
She sits down on one of the crates - somewhere she has sat a thousand times before. She closes her eyes and pictures him standing in front of her. The image is so real that she smiles blissfully, as she watches him smile at her, his eyes communicating what his lips cannot. She opens her eyes and is shattered when she remembers that it was only a daydream. She sighs as she feels tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She forces herself not to cry; it seems that she has done nothing else since she came back. She doesn't want to think about him, because if she lets herself the tears are inevitable. And yet, at the same time, all she wants to think about is him. He's all she ever thinks about. That is, after all, the reason she came here. At home, there's always a distraction. Weiss seems to be eternally in her apartment; probably because he knows that if she's alone she'll only think about Vaughn. She wanted to be quiet for a few hours and just think, so she came to the one place that has always been a sanctuary to her. And though she never missed it until now, she is beginning to realise that this has been the most important place in her relationship with Vaughn. The most important place in her life.
She knows only too well what thinking about him will do to her. But she doesn't care, because she doesn't ever want to stop thinking about him. She loves him with all her heart, and she doesn't want that feeling to stop. She knows that it will only make her unhappy, and she believes that in turn will make him unhappy but she's afraid to stop. She's afraid that if she stops loving him, there'll be nothing left.
* * *
His car pulls quietly into the space it always occupied. He gets out, shuts the door, and pauses before going in. He knows what this place represents, and what his going there symbolises. He knows what Lauren will think if she finds out. But he doesn't care. Because he has to be alone, and this is the first place - the only place - he has ever had the sense of peace that he needs. He stands outside for quite a while, part of him screaming at him to get back in the car and go home to his wife. His wife. Lauren. He loves her, he knows he does - so why is he here? Why was he drawn here on the way home from work? Why has this place, and everything that's happened here, been on his mind all day?
He tells himself that it will just be one short visit. Just to say goodbye. Goodbye to what? To the memories he has been holding dear for the past two years. He has to let go of them because they're not his lifeline anymore. For the longest time, he had nothing left of her but these memories, but now she's alive and these faded pictures in his mind are no longer her remains. He has to say goodbye to something else as well; something far dearer to him than the memories of shared smiles and exchanged kisses. He must say goodbye to his love. Until now he has been allowed to love her. She was dead - what harm could it do to keep his feelings alive? But now she's back, and his heart has been given to another. To love Sydney. . . it isn't fair. It isn't right. It isn't fair to any of them. It's no one's fault. This is just how things turned out. But sometimes, and he knows he shouldn't, he can't help but blame Lauren
And that's when he realises that, if this is anyone's fault, it's his. Because it was he who gave up, it was he who moved on. And Sydney's left to deal with the mess. It's at times when he thinks like that that he breaks down. He cries silently at night, and he suspects that Lauren knows, although she never says anything. He goes for long walks in the rain, mentally putting himself through torture over what he did to the love of his life. And then he sees what he's doing to Lauren, and puts himself though torture over that. Which only ever brings him back to Sydney again. It's a vicious circle and he has to get out of it.
* * *
Eventually, he forces himself to take the next step. He looks at the floor as he walks in, and doesn't notice the figure sitting on a crate, equally absorbed in staring at her shoes. As one person, they look up and meet each other's eyes. It is as if they have rehearsed this and know exactly when to raise their eyes.
"Sydney," he states, his voice barely above a whisper
"Vaughn," she whispers back, not knowing what else to say.
There was a time when they stood and sat in the same positions, both of their minds overflowing with things they wanted to tell each other, but could not. Now, in a moment when anything they want can pass their lips, neither can think of a single thing to say.
TBC. . .?
What do you think? Should I continue? I've got it all planned out I'd just like to know if anyone's interested in reading more.
