(A/N: Ah, PG Wodehouse, my formative author! My comedic mentor! Just consider this chapter to be a slight, inadequate tribute.)

Chapter 13: By Snape!

Severus Snape was sitting around one night doing Snapey things, when a huge peacock suddenly came swooshing through the window. It dropped a note on his desk, landed on the back of an armchair, turned, and flew out again. Snape picked up the note, checking the seal though he already knew who it was from, and opened it. "Severus," it said, "I am in enormous trouble and need your help. Please come over at once. Lucius." Snape sighed, took his cloak and went off into the night.

When he entered the Malfoys' drawing room, thoughts of doom and death in his mind, he was rather surprised to see Lucius sitting at the pretty Rococo writing table, looking intensely confused, and apparently trying to approach a piece of paper with a coloured pencil.

"Lucius, what are you doing?" he asked, walking towards him.

"Sssshh!!!" Lucius said, directing the point of the pencil at the paper. Just as it was about to touch it, the pencil suddenly swayed away, and it landed about a centimetre away from the initial position. "Ah, no!" Lucius said, throwing down the pencil in exasperation. "Why can't I do it?"

"Do what, Lucius?" Snape said.

"Colour between the lines of this damn colouring book!!" Lucius growled. "I found it in Draco's room, and I just can't seem to colour between the damn lines! Look!" He took up the pencil again, and very slowly and carefully lowered it to the paper. Just as the tip of the pencil was about to touch it, it suddenly went into a completely different direction, making a huge line across the paper. "See!" he said.

"Lucius," Snape picked up the pencil, and closed the book. "That's your enormous trouble?? A colouring book?? Why on earth would you want to be colouring, when there are Muggles out there just aching to be tortured?"

"Muggles?' Lucius asked hopefully. "Out there?" Snape nodded. He leant closer to his friend.

"And I heard that Lupin finally got a job and is going to buy himself back from you." He said, in a low voice.

"No!" Lucius said. He stood up. "It's outrageous! Something must be done!"

"Indeed." Snape said. "So let's go." Lucius grabbed his cane, and they both disapparated at the same time.

'Well,' Snape thought, as he walked back across the Hogwarts grounds, 'I certainly would give Jeeves a run for his money.'