(A/N: This Chapter was inspired by a conversation with Lady Lizzie (that's also her penname, go and read her work), during which we discussed the sexual titillations that a fight between our dear Professor and his 'friend' would bring on. It is also a Super Special Jubilee Chapter, as it is the 75th chapter of the series in its entirety. Celebrate!)

Chapter 15: Kiss And Make Up!

"Why don't you go fondle Fudge, harlot!" Severus Snape said, as he came stumbling through the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, randomly shooting hexes over his shoulder as he ran.

"Oh, and why should I listen to a man who has to give out detentions to have a good time?" Lucius yelled back at him, throwing a huge china vase against the wall just behind Snape's shoulder. "And one who uses the word 'harlot', too!" He dodged a box of cards that came hurtling towards his eye.

"At least I don't have to ask someone else to find out what it means!" Snape snarled back, jumping onto a sofa. "And if it bothers you so much, I'd just as eagerly call you a bimbo instead!"

"Just try and deny that you're just jealous of my good looks!" Lucius ducked, and threw himself forward, narrowly dodging a nasty looking spell that singed the carpet next to him.

"Slut!" Snape said, scrambling to the other end of the sofa.

"Bitch!" Lucius answered through a cloud of smoke, as he crawled across the floor towards Snape.

"Whore!"

"Twat!"

BAM! Lucius had grabbed Snape by the ankles and pulled him down.

POW! Snape smashed a nearby artefact on Lucius' head.

SNARK! Snape grumbled an insult in Lucius' ear.

PLOOT! Lucius was paying attention to something other than what Snape was saying.

Within seconds the two were in each other's arms, on the ground, among the smoke and shards of china. "Works every time, doesn't it?" Lucius murmured.

"Like a dream," sighed Snape.