Disclaimer – I don't own or profit from Ed, Edd N Eddy.  This story is my own, though.  Rated R for sexual situations, N/C, violence.

Author's Note – I apologize for both the short length and the long update time for this chapter.  I have no excuses.  That said, enjoy.  Peace, all.

Chapter 3 – Truth Of The Edd

     Ed still lives at home.  He still has his basement.  I visit him there as often as I can.

     After Nazz's pregnancy scare, she dropped Kevin and moved out to Los Angeles to become an actress.  Sarah got her G.E.D. at sixteen just so she could follow her.  I hear from Ed they're together now, and very happy.  I saw Nazz on a national television commercial just last week.

     As for the others...  I've already said what they're doing.

     Or rather, who they're doing.

     Except, of course, I haven't mentioned one person.

     Eddy.

     He's a salesman.  He works at a used car dealership right now, the same one his father used to work at, though while he was attending his one and only year of community college he worked as a telemarketer for a credit card company.  He's never married.  He has dated.  And for all he's told me, he's no more a virgin than I am.

     Not that he knows that.

     For Ed and Eddy still think I'm an innocent.  They don't know of my late-night trysts with various boys from the cul-de-sac.  And if I have my way, they never will.

     I'm not even certain Ed would understand.  He seems so dim at times, and yet at others...  I catch him looking at me with this weird, sad expression, but then his eyes go unfocused again...  I wonder if he knows more than I think.

     Eddy, I'm certain, does not.

     Eddy is oblivious.

     But then, Eddy was always oblivious to me.

     I knock on Ed's door, then open it.  The house is strangely silent.  When we were younger, it always seemed filled to the brim with Sarah's angry chaos and Ed's bright, beaming radiance.  Now, it just seems empty.

     It wouldn't be unlike Ed to leave his front door unlocked, but I decide to investigate further.  After all, I've laid awake at night worrying about Ed, wondering if one day he'll do something really... well... dim, and get seriously hurt, so I can't very well walk away now, now can I?

     So I enter further, closing the door softly after myself.  No need to advertise the unlocked door.  "Ed?" I call softly.  "Ed, are you home?"

     Still no reply.  Horrible images – Ed with his body crisped and dead after sticking his finger in a socket, for instance – begin to flood my mind.  I hurry to the stairs.

     I'm halfway down when I hear voices.  Ed and Eddy.  My heart pounds, and I'm about to call out to them when I hear my name.  I stop cold.

     "...Double D likes us, Eddy."

     "I know that, Lumpy.  But Sockhead'll never understand."

     "Understand what, Eddy?"

     I can hear Eddy grumbling angrily.  With baited breath I wait to hear more, my heart pounding out a sick, contradictory rhythm.  Pound.  Pray they say more.  Pound.  Pray they stop.  Pound.  Pray they say more.

     Pound.  Pray they stop.

     They don't stop.

     "Try to stay with me here, Monobrow," Eddy snaps.  "What're we gonna tell Sockhead?"

     "About what, Eddy?"

     I hear Eddy give a little scream of frustration, and I cringe.  Without meaning to I move, and the stair beneath my feet creaks.  Eddy falls silent.

     I know he's heard me.  I stop breathing and begin to sweat.  If he even peaks his head out Ed's door he'll see me on the stairs.

     But for some reason, he doesn't.  After waiting for a while (during which time I become increasingly light-headed) he goes on again, like nothing's happened.  Ed, naturally, doesn't notice a thing.

     "What do we tell him, Lumpy?" Eddy asks, and I can suddenly breathe again.  The light-headed feeling begins to fade.

     And then Eddy speaks again.

     "What do we tell him about us?"

     I can't breathe.

     Us?  There's an 'us'?  He and Ed form an 'us'?

     They form an 'us'... without me?

     "We can tell Double D the truth, Eddy," I can hear Ed say around the horrified sadness that fills my mind.  "He likes us."

     "Quit sayin' that!"  Eddy sounds really irritated – I want to go in and support Ed by letting Eddy rant at me (like usual), but my legs don't work.

     I have to know, now, what they're arguing about.  I have to.

     And Eddy doesn't disappoint.

     "C'mon, Lumpy, focus," he finally says.  "We gotta figure out what to say to Double D."

     "We can tell him that chickens are nibbling our toes, Eddy," I hear Ed say sagely, and I stifle a laugh.  Lovable oaf.

     I hear Eddy growling, grumbling, but he's too quiet, mumbling under his breath.  I can't hear what he says.

     So I wait, and before long Eddy is talking aloud once more.

     "We gotta tell Sockhead the truth, Lumpy," he says, and I blanch.  Truth?  Have they lied to me?

     Then Eddy goes on.

     "We have to tell him what we know-"

     I turn and run back up the stairs and out of the house.