Underneath the same blue sky
Post season 10 finales. Sam and Alex, on the road. Where will it lead them?
I know I don't own these guys, I so wish I did. But I do own Sam's relations.
I'm sorry if I get any medical stuff wrong. I only know one person with diabetes and he moved to Canada. So, if I get the sugar levels or something, I didn't mean to.
I don't know if Sam has any relations, whether they speak to her or anything so I've made them up for the purpose of my story.
The songs featured are 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan and 'Heavy on my heart' by Anastacia.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
ST
"Pack your stuff Alex."
"No." He looks up at me, daring me to scream and shout at him. But I have no energy, so I zip up my case and begin on his.
"Don't touch that." He shouts as I pick up an unmarked envelope.
"Why not?" I say, knowing my son and his things.
"It's private, that's why!" I flip up the unsealed flap and pull out a small wad of photos. Turning them over in my hands, I see my own face smiling back at the camera, one arm encircling Luka's waist. The next one is of Alex holding a fish, the next of Luka
playing ball with Alex at night. They're from our camping trip.
"Why do you have these Alex?"
"Because I was happy then." He takes them off me and puts them back in the envelope, frowning.
"Just...uh, pack your stuff." I sigh, and walk out into the 'living area'. Grabbing a few things, I chuck our wash stuff into a bag. Alex is slowly packing his stuff, grumbling the whole time but I don't listen anymore. This whole thing has worn me out. I wander out onto the balcony and watch early morning birds flit across the horizon, trying find some source of energy from somewhere in my body.
"Come on Alex, we're off." I call to him. "Before we go, check your sugar levels." He frowns but pulls out the kit, pricks his finger and drops the blood onto the strip.
"6." He says, quietly. "Can't we stay here for a bit longer?"
"No, we have to get to Grandma's before Thursday."
"That's a whole 2 days away."
"Yes, but it's also a whole 4000 miles away." He shuts up and yanks the case off the bed. I pick up mine and we make our way to the desk.
"Thanks, room 17."
"That's $80." I jerk my head up, shocked but try to pretend I'm not. "Anything wrong, ma'am?"
"No, no." I pull out my credit card. I shouldn't, but I've got to. The boy behind the desk smiles, swipes the card and asks me to sign. Without thought, I sign and get my card back. Within seconds we're at car.
"You get in, remember to belt up." I pop open the trunk; throw our cases in and bang it shut. Moving to the door, I slide in and realise I'm exhausted already and it's barely even 8am. "Let's get moving then, kiddo." I turn the key and look over at my son who, in an attempt to get the furthest away from me possible, is scrunched up in the corner of his seat, knees to chin with his hat skimming his eye brows. "Alex, don't even try it."
"Don't try what?" He asks, sarcasm dripping from every letter.
"You know. Now, quit it. I don't need it today."
"Fine." He curls up tighter, further into the corner. I press the lock key on the panel and hear them drop down, keeping my son from accidentally opening the door. I've been terrified about it ever since my brother leant against the door too hard when we were kids.
"Hey Alex, you get to see Uncle Dave." I try to sound chirpy.
Silence.
"He'll play ball with you."
"Luka plays ball with me. Better than Uncle Dave does."
"Don't be rude. Uncle Dave is fine at ball. And anyway, I'm sure if you ask Todd, he'll play too." I fake-smile.
"Mom, Todd is 18, he hates me."
"He doesn't!" My nephew is...uncommunicative at times. It comes from being my sister, Tara's kid.
"Everyone in your family hates me. Except Gramma and that's only cos she's gotta like me."
I have to admit, that last comment makes me think a little. My family used to be so conventional: Church every Sunday, all sitting round the table for meals, talking about everything.
Until it came to 'that'.
The day I told them I was pregnant, their world fell apart. My dad left, saying it was too much, my mom started on the anti-depressants and never came off. My brothers avoided me more than ever and my sisters switched between regarding me as a piece of filth and asking loads of questions. Tara had already left home; she was married with two kids, but Clare and Verity were amazed I was going through with it.
Little did they know I had already tried to not go through with it. I had decided that I would see how they all reacted before going again. And I swore if they reacted badly I would go for the termination.
And I did. And it was too late. But I realised pretty soon after, that nothing would be the same with them, this baby was the only chance. I could start again, work hard and save money.
And so in part what Alex said was true. My family didn't like him, or more the concept he embodied; that the Taggart family weren't 'respectable' anymore.
"It doesn't matter Alex, you've still got to be polite. Show them I brought you up well."
He doesn't say anything.
Try to fly away but it's impossible
And every breath gives birth to deeper sighs
And for a moment I am weak so it's hard for my to speak
Even though we're underneath the same blue sky.
And the canvas of my mind sings songs I left behind.
Like pretty flowers and a sunset.
AT
Mom doesn't know what it's like, to know your family hate you.
I mean, obviously she loves me, but I mean everyone else. Uncle Dave, Uncle Simon, Aunt Tara, Aunt Clare, Aunt Verity, Todd, Beth, Louie, Kyan, Karina, Gramma.
Okay, so Karina is only 2, so I don't know if she hates me yet, and Gramma is okay but I see it when she speaks to me. I'm not the same as my cousins. They're whole kids, born in wedlock (I heard Gramma say that last Christmas to Aunt Verity).
I know when I'm mean about her family, it upsets mom but sometimes she really annoys me. I mean, dad turns up and says he's willing to get back with her, to look after me with her, like a family which would have been so cool. Then she goes and pushes him away, and then runs off. She can be so stupid sometimes.
We've been travelling for 1 day so far, and we've got another 2 to go. I was really mad to start off but slowly I stopped being really mad and just stayed being slightly mad.
I never wanted to leave Chicago, I had finally made friends, and I was having sleepovers and going to Waterworld and things. And mom had Luka, who is way cool!
Now that's all gone and I'm stuck in a car with mom, going to see a bunch of people I really wish I wasn't.
I fall asleep for a while, and when I wake up we're drawing into a gas station.
"Alex, what do you want to eat?"
"Nothing."
"Alex." She snaps and I look over at her, shocked. "You know you have to eat regularly otherwise ..."
"I'll get sick. I know! I'll have a sandwich and some candy." Mom sighs and gets out the car, locking it behind her. This means I can't move cos it'll set the alarm off. I swear she does it on purpose sometimes, to stop me getting into a mess. She fills with gas and strolls into the station. I see her pick up some food and pay for it and the gas before strolling back to me.
"There you go." She chucks an egg salad sandwich onto my lap, along with a bottle of still water.
"No candy?" I push her. She doesn't even bother to reply; she just takes a bite from her food and starts the car. "Are we nearly there?"
"No. It's another 2 or 3 hours til the next decent motel."
"Decent? Since when did we stay in decent motels? That last one stunk of mould and pee. The TV didn't work and there was no pool."
"Please Alex." Suddenly her voice sounds tired and I realise she hardly slept at all last night. "This is hard enough already, please don't try guilt tripping me." She rubs her face and pulls out into the stream of traffic, chewing on her lower lip. I bite into my sandwich and chew in silence, regretting pushing her so far. I never mean to upset her, make her feel guilty or hurt her.
I never wanna hurt her.
Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the length but I couldn't cut it off before. Please push that button on the left.
Go on.
Please. Even if it's a bad review I'll take it in my stride :0)
