so i write what i love with what i know of love, for all i understand is constrained by all i've known.

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the flash of red hair and boyish smile when she first laid eyes on him. fingering church steeple and hill and harbour to babbling little Rilla through the train window, leading the retinue of his siblings out to the platform. supplying the twin's excited, jumbled recaps of their Avonlea sojourn with coherent reports to his gentle mother and frank, smiling father. then -- she was the only one who saw it, she thinks, and she cherished the memory for many a year before telling him-- while Walter leaned affectionately on his mother's arm all the walk home, Jem sidled to squeeze her hand with all a thirteen-year-old's firmness before setting her free for sleepy baby Rilla.

it made her think of her own mother that she had no more, of stepping aside one day so Cecilia could bade a special goodbye to Una. the pain that rarely touched her laughing face pierced her, swiftly. and it passed, as their eyes crossed. they were strong.

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he remembers her flushed with warmth from her run down rainbow valley. her laughter and laughing voice pealing over the meal table in cheerful epithets, less ethereal than Nan and Di's chatter, livelier. her tones stirred his soul like how the Tree Lover's chimes shook Walter's. her happy appetite eating his trout, how proud he was that he fried the trout for that feast! and thirsty drinks from the cup he fashioned for her by the spring. he had never known the joy of quenching another's thirst, feeding another's hunger-- though her eyes, fed from laughter and joy, would never have betrayed any hunger as her wistful sister's did. like him, she loved life... they embraced living.

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in a ramble through rainbow valley, after her victory and walter's victory, she leaves behind jerry and una and carl in the graveyard. to chase her own ghosts. how was it that walter's chivalry chilled her when she would be tinged with excitement, had another been her champion? how was it that such a dear, friendly friendship flowered between her firebrand self and moon-dreams walter when her fire should have found its fuel in Jem?

she spies the fiery hair of the school "chieftain" in the decay of the bailey garden, and with uncontrollable violence her knees tremble though this predated any whispers of haunts within those stone walls. what place had he, ever popular and ever active, in the november shadows?

"i know this is where i'll find the first mayflowers will come, next spring." he shares his secret earnestly with her, she greets him to indicate her presence.

"will you bring me the first mayflowers, Jem Blythe?" she asks impulsively and with trepid excitement.

"i always bring Mother the first mayflowers," he answers with a tenderness she did not know -- she had forgotten -- she did know -- she always knew -- was in him.

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on a quest for the earliest arbutus one magical twilight, to fulfil the mission that rang in his mind through all his winter's studying after his proud proclamation to Faith. he steals by the manse graveyard, where she shines like a summer rose on the gritty snowbank. she sighs -- he had never imagined her sigh, one does not imagine winter winds in summer.

unlike walter, he can sound no intuitive notes when she confides their troubles to him -- sundry mishaps that scar the manse reputation. he cannot soothe their lack of parental guidance.

"why don't you start a good-conduct club?" Jem knows only action. Faith grasps the idea, she believes in action, too.

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he is bright, winsome, clever, affectionate. adventurous, ambitious, capable. all she ever wanted to do, he does with competence. she admires him. he leads her.

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she is joyous, beloved, lively, caring. impulsive, daring, original. all he ever wanted to be, she is, naturally and unquestionably. he admires her. she inspires him.

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A/N: just some things i started typing while i was waiting for my frozen 3d studio max to move. :) is it complete? or is it not? i don't know. i think it needs an ending, perhaps touching on the rilla of ingleside years before it comes to that. but this won't go longer than a chapter :b. let me know your thoughts, comments etc.