Chapter1
All My Problems
Ellie Nash walked down the main road away from DCHS on the last day of school before winter break. She normally would have been walking with Ashley Kerwin, but lately Ash had been spending more time with Paige. Whatever, Ash had said she'd be there if Ellie needed anything. She turned her CD player all the way up, letting Smile Empty Soul blare from the headphones around her neck.
She ignored the strange looks people were giving her. With her rock music, black eyeliner, long black jacket and black jeans, she knew she stuck out in the crowd of adults walking up and down the same street. Ellie crossed the street, headed home. She looked down, watching her feet in her clunky black motorcycle boots thump her way to the other side of the street. She never saw Sean Cameron until they collided.
"Hey! Watch were you're goin'!" Sean looked at her for a second, but didn't leave. Ellie had landed on her butt, but her folders for her co-op job had fallen, and the papers were scattered over the sidewalk.
"Sorry," Ellie muttered, as she tried to gather all her papers. Sean pulled his black knit hat further down on his head, and knelt down, helping her gather her papers.
"Is that all of them?" Sean stood and looked around.
"Yeah, it should be," Ellie put them back in her folders, and looked up to see Sean's hand reached out to help her up. He grabbed her arm, not very tightly, and pulled her up. Tears welled up in her eyes at his grip on fresh cuts. She took a quick breath, holding her arm to her stomach.
"Sorry. Ellie," Sean looked at her, and saw something he recognized all too well in her eyes, "Are you ok?" Sean touched her shoulder. "Ellie?"
"I, I think so," Ellie said and rubbed her arm. It was sore, and at least one cut was bleeding already, it stung like hell. "I should go home now." Ellie said it, but she was dreading it. You couldn't pay her enough to want to be home when her mother was like this.
"Hey, wanna come over for a while? We could watch TV or something," Sean heard the implication of what she had said; I don't want to be alone. He looked at her, wondering why shit happened people. He could see the twisted pain inside her on her face.
"Sure. My mom's probably still pas- at work," Ellie caught herself. Sean knew some shit about her, but not that. He put his arm around her shoulders, and they walked on.
Sean unlocked his back door, and they went in. He tossed his sweatshirt on the battered old sofa, and went to the refrigerator.
"Hey, Ellie! Do you want Pepsi or water?" Sean pulled his head out of the fridge.
"Um, Pepsi," Ellie walked into the tiny kitchen.
"Here ya go," Sean tossed the can to her. As she reached out to catch it, Sean noticed there was a little blood dripping down her palm. "Come here, Ellie. You're bleeding."
"Oh, I am. I'll just go in the bathroom…" Ellie headed towards the hallway.
"No you're not Ellie," Sean grabbed her by her shoulders, and guided her to the sink. "Take off your arm thing and roll up your sleeve," Sean turned on the faucet, and wet a paper towel. He wiped at the dried blood on her arm, gently dabbing the open cuts. There must have been at least a dozen cuts, just from her elbow to her wrist. Some were older and already scarring, most were scabby, but there were a couple brand new, probably a day or two old, and split open.
"Ellie, some of these look a little infected. Have you cleaned them at all?" Sean glanced up at her face.
"Um, no. I guess I never thought to," Ellie looked at Sean. He seemed to know how to do this better than she did.
"Well, this is gonna sting some," Sean said, pulling a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the cabinet above the sink. "Hold your arm over the sink," Sean wrapped his arm around her and grabbed her wrist, holding her steady. "Ready?" He asked. Ellie nodded, and Sean poured a little alcohol over her arm.
"Oww!" Ellie jumped.
"Well, duh. Don't touch it," Sean said, sounding like he knew exactly what he was doing. He tried not to look for more marks on her arm as he dried off her arm. He pulled a roll of gauze and tape from the same cabinet as before.
"Bend your elbow a little. Okay," Sean wrapped the gauze around Ellie's arm, deftly taping it into place.
"How do you do that so easily?" Ellie asked, pulling her sleeve down.
"I just do. Hey, let's watch the TV now," Sean said, trying to change the subject. Quick. He leapt over the back of the couch and landed with a thump.
"10 points!" Ellie teased and sat down next to him to the couch. They sat and watched TV, and made fun of the cheesy commercials. When Ellie looked at the clock, it was 8:48 and the sun had already begun to go down.
"Sean, I really should go home." Ellie said, but didn't get up. She wasn't really looking forward to having to deal with her drunk mother. Her drunk, abusive, bitchy mother.
Sean's heart seized, he didn't want to be alone either. "Just stay a while longer. Tracker will be home in a few hours, he can give you a ride then." Sean said; forgetting for a moment Tracker had left.
"Alright. I'll stay." Ellie heard the desperation in his voice, the need for contact with another conscious person. She flopped back, and tugged her red hair out of its braids.
"Hey, Ellie, can I ask you a question?" Sean looked at floor.
"Sure. Shoot." Ellie pulled at her arm sock, un-tucking her sleeve from it.
"Why do you cut?" Sean looked at his battered sneakers. He wanted to know why she did this. But as soon as he asked the question, he realized he'd pulled loose a keystone in the wall holding back all of Ellie's feelings.
"Well, probably because…" Ellie paused, thinking, "Probably because my mother is a fucking drunk. My ex-'boyfriend' is gay. My dad's gone for the next six months. At least. Paige can't keep her nose out of other peoples' shit. I can probably think of a few dozen other reasons." She leaned forward, holding her head in her hands. Sean looked at her, her hair fluffed out, stress and pain showing in her eyes and the creases on her forehead. He saw her hands move, making slicing gestures above her gauze-wrapped arm. Ellie's eyes were closed, but her mind was racing. Her teeth were clenched, and her breaths were short. It seemed to start in her shoulders. Quick, ragged shudders, synchronized with her breathing. Then her entire body began to tremble, as her cries racked her body.
"Ellie," Sean wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him. She began to cry harder, tears streaming down her cheeks as she buried her face in his neck. "Ellie, don't cry." He smoothed his hand over her hair. He wasn't used to seeing chicks cry. Emma had only cried once in front of him, and Amy never had. Sean wasn't really sure what to say. He just held her and let her cry her eyes out. By the time Ellie stopped crying, the sun had gone down long before, and Tracker should have been home a while ago. Ellie was exhausted, all that crying had taken a lot out of her. She looked like she was gonna fall asleep.
"C'mon Ellie," Sean stood, and half dragged, half guided her out of the TV room, and down the hallway. Sean nudged his bedroom door open, and turned on a dim lamp.
"Sean," Ellie said weakly, "I need to go home,"
"You need to sleep." Sean sat her on his twin-size bed, unzipped her boots, and carefully removed them from her feet. "I'll call Ashley and get her to cover for you. Good night, Ellie." Sean said as he pulled his thin blankets over her.
"Hello?" Toby answered the phone.
"Hey, is Ashley home?" Sean was a little nervous.
"Yeah, hold on a minute, Ashley!"
"Hello?" Ashley sounded tired.
"Hi Ash. It's Sean." He answered, sounding a lot calmer that he actually was.
"Sean? Why are you calling me?"
"I need a favor."
"What?"
"If Ellie's mom calls, I need you to tell her she's at your house."
"Why? Were is she?" Ashley growled into the phone.
"She's here, but she's asleep." Sean cringed at Ashley's threatening tone.
"If you do anything to her, I swear to god Sean, I'll kill you." Ashley trusted Sean about as much as she did a rabid dog.
"I won't, I promise."
"Well, she doesn't need you to mess up her life like you did to mine." Ash said.
"That wasn't all my fault and you know it. But will you cover for her?"
"Fine, but I will kill you if she says anything happened."
"Thanks Ash."
"Bye."
"Bye." Sean hung up the phone, and headed to the bathroom. As he pulled his jeans off, the dirty light caught the faint scars across his leg. They were finally beginning to fade. Sean shook the thoughts from his head, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt, and went back into his room. He could hear Ellie crying again as he opened the door. She was curled up on the bed, like a kitten.
"Ellie, I'm gonna go sleep on the couch, ok?" Sean said, barely above a whisper as he grabbed a blanket from the floor.
"No, please don't leave me alone Sean. Please." Ellie rolled over, black tears rolling down her face. "I don't want to be alone. I'm scared." Ellie said, trying not to cry.
"Fine, I'll stay here. Scoot over." Sean sat down next to her, his back to the wall. Ellie laid next to him, and fell asleep wrapped in Sean Cameron's arms.
