Charms--The Cereal?

"A Man's Remote is His Seceptre...I Mean, Wand."

A/N: This is a parody!

Disclaimer: You probably can tell I don't own Harry Potter.


Click, click, click.

George Lee stretched his stubby legs out before him and itched his bulbous belly, while the other hand swiftly changed the television channels. A pair of bloodshot blue eyes squinted at the screen.

News, news, spa ad, Girls Gone Wild...Ooh, free pizza!

This obese forty-something, who could do well with a few days of nothing but veggies, extended his hairy forearm and felt around the folding table for the phone. Shoving some Twinkie wrappers to the floor, he finally found it, without having looked away from the television.

He hit speed-dial, ordered the two-for-the-price-of-one deal, and heaved himself up from his armchair. Brushing the crumbs off of his stained shirt, he walked upstairs to change clothes and comb over his bald spot. He pulled something from the over-flowing laundry hamper, put it on over the same undershirt and a some ragged jeans. Crosing the mirror, he brushed his thinning hair and flossed.

All this effort was because sometimes a cute girl would deliver the pizza. He bought pizza so often that any woman or girly-looking male never came to his house. It was usually guys that looked sort of like him, except with decent personalities.

Finally, the doorbell rang, and he 'ran' down the stairs to open the door. Saddened to see a skinny, red-haired teenage punk, he paid for the pizzas and Pepsi. Forgetting the tip and stealing the boy's pen, he returned to the living room.

He sat in the ratty chair,--which he had found sitting on someone's curb--and took up the pizza slice in one hand, the remote in the other.

Poof!

George was standing in front of a weird sort of classroom. Everyone was stirring big, bubbling pots, but they all glanced up and gawked at him. A menacing man in flowing black garb glowered down at him.

"What the hell?" Gorge muttered.

Driving away from George Lee's empty house, Fred Weasley was laughing to himself. Market Research was always so interesting.


A/N: Want me to continue? Let me know.