AN: Absolutely pointless MasterCard commercial parody. Everyone's doing it! I just had to try it. Be gentle. I throw in some really crazy ideas sometimes. I own NOTHING.

Seras

Luxury sheets for bed:

$800

Skimpy negligee:

$150

Various stuffed animals:

$250 total

The fact that you now have to sleep in a coffin:

Priceless.

Some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.