AH! I just got my very own copy of "Ronnie and Julie!" WHOO-HOO!!! *does
happy dance gleefully, jumping with joy* YAY YAY YAY!!! I watched it during
dinner, and it is so cute...Josh is adorable as ever and remains a hockey
player! What more can I ask? Unfortunately, there are ZERO "Ronnie and
Julie" fics...I checked the ENTIRE "Misc Movies" section...and trust me,
that is a VERY taxing job! And did I find any? Nope. Nada. I was very
angry. There aren't any fansites either. And it makes me mad...but oh
well...I might have to write and R&J fic later...maybe make a fansite of my
own, too...I can be the pilgrim of the R&J fandom, even if I'm the only
one...*whimpers and cries softly*
Nebula- Ah, so good to hear ermm...read from you! Or...um...something like that. Lol...anyway. I'm glad I have your approval! I did something right! Whoo-hoo! Lol. I'm glad you thought the Charlie/Julie moment at the end was good. It means a lot to me that I haven't totally and irreversibly screwed up my story. ^_^ *is in shock for a moment* Wait, you posted another DC fic? And I missed it? Gah...this is what I get for taking a break...lol...I'll get right to it. ^_^ Thanks for informing me. Lol...and again, thanks for your review. *hugs*
Rachel- Another inspiring review on your part, I must say. You never cease to inflate my ego. ^_^ You don't know how relieved I am that I managed to make it come out right. I personally have never cut myself either, so I'm kinda going out on a limb and hoping that I don't crash and burn. ^_^ I'm extremely happy that you're so supportive with this story and manag to always say the right thing to convince me that I'm not screwing it up ^_^ Thanks!
Banksiesbabe99- Lol, close calls are my forte. ^_^ I love'm...Well, not so much when I'm reading, but I love writing them. Lol...And yes, you're probably right. Flying out to Minnesota with a massive sign saying what's wrong probably won't help much. ^_~ No shame in talking to the character. Lol. I'm sure Charlie appreciated it. *glances over at Charlie who is chasing a butterfly* Um. Yeah, anyway. He's on break right now. I'm glad you liked the idea of Charlie seeing his mom. ^_~ Thanks for such a nice review, and I always love hearing from you!
Adriana- Yes! The greatness of many updates! Rah for updates! Lol...^_^ I'm glad you love Adam and Charlie. *nods* Oooh...that does look cool. Hehehe...thanks for the lovely review, Adriana! And I'll go check out your story now. Yay!
Allie- Aw, I can't have blinking powers? Oh well, I guess twitching powers will have to work. Lol, yeah, I guess I am a lot mean to Charlie. ^_~ I'm sorry you don't like being depressed. ^_^ Lol, I agree. The Princess Bride is a good movie. Lol...^_^ I'm glad you liked Julie in the last chapter. And worry not, the time will come. ^_^ I know how you feel with not being able to get into it, but I can't say I'm near the end on many of my fics anyway. Lol...I'll be sad to see your story end. *cries* And don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Lol...it's a real shocker, but I actually have a plan. *winks*
Liz- Thanks, and I'm glad you like the part I added to the chapter. ^_~ Love ya lots!
Katie- Yeah, I used to have a friend who suffered severe depression and all that lovely stuff...It's sad. She was my best friend, but I haven't seen her in almost a year because she got sent away to work out her problems away from all the negative influences. It's a really sad thing, and I hope I never have to go through it. I'm glad your friends were willing to talk to you about it. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Lol...^_~
Chroni- *pats head* It'll be okay...I hope you like this chapter.
DodgerMcClure.aka.Drama-Queen- Lol, that's a good point...he IS Charlie...and seriously, who couldn't love him? But he doesn't quite catch stuff like that. Lol...I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you like this one! ^_^
Angel Spirit- I'm glad you like the progression of my chapters. Makes me feel loved. ^_^ I'm glad you're liking all the Charlie angst. ^_~
Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks.
-Chapter 40-
Charlie woke up the next morning, wanting nothing more than to stay asleep.
He carried out his normal daily routine; get dressed, eat, brush teeth, grab backpack...
When he stepped into the bathroom again to quickly brush his hair, his hand froze by the razor next to his brush in the cabinet.
He forced himself to pick up the brush and leave the sharp pointy object as it was.
As soon as the boy finished running the brush through his tangled brown hair, he timidly picked up the blade and quickly stashed it in his backpack.
On second thought, it couldn't hurt to bring it...
"Charlie!" he heard Bombay call from the first floor.
Charlie adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and walked downstairs to Bombay.
The older man handed money for a bus fare and left, saying he had to leave for work early for a meeting that morning.
Charlie nodded and accepted the money as he walked out the door, consciously preparing himself for another mentally-taxing day at Eden Hall...
~~~*~~~
As the faces of the always-upbeat Ducks came into view, Charlie grimaced in spite of himself. He hated that he felt disconnected. He hated that everything was happening to him. He hated being crowded, yet he hated feeling empty and alone.
He just darn well hated everything...
When he and Adam made eye contact, Charlie knew he couldn't claim he hadn't seen them. However, Charlie kept walking in the other direction. Half of them probably didn't even notice he wasn't there with them...
~~~*~~~
Connie frowned as Charlie continued walking away. "Guys, he doesn't look so good..."
"I'm sure he's fine, Connie. This is Charlie we're talking about; he's probably just worked up over something. Chances are he'll be back to normal anytime now." Russ said, shrugging.
"I don't know...I'm worried too. He would usually be to his 'ranting stage' by now, but he hasn't said a word." Fulton said.
"Come on Fulton; I'm sure Russ is right. We all know Charlie's tendency to blow things WAY out of proportion. He's probably upset because he missed the end of the season." Portman said, patting Fulton's shoulder, as if it would knock the foolish idea from his brain.
Fulton nodded slightly, following the group into the school building.
~~~*~~~
Charlie trudged down the hall by himself, putting off going to class for as long as humanly possible. It was Friday and he only had the weekend before finals. The brief 'study session' with Julie had been relatively helpful, but he was still worried. Failing the ninth grade would not be a good idea...
For once, Charlie was actually relieved that he had no hockey to worry about. Yes, it's shocking...I know. If he did, he would have to worry about everyone asking questions in the locker room. He wouldn't even get to play because of his arm. Luckily, the cast had been replaced with a sling.
As he approached the bathroom, he considered skipping his first period class. He really wanted to, but he knew it wouldn't help the problem with his final exams...
The boy resisted the urge to skip class and continued walking. Not today.
But getting to class on time MIGHT be a good idea...
~~~*~~~
"...and that concludes class for today. Be sure to complete your review packets and study for your final exams. They won't be easy. Dismissed." The teacher said, releasing the class of students for lunch.
Charlie quickly packed his stuff and rushed out the door before any Ducks in his class could say anything.
He briskly sped down the hall, rushing to the lunchroom.
When he saw Goldberg and Averman walk by, he slipped behind another group of random people. Once the coast was clear, Charlie continued his trek to the lunchroom.
Because he had arrived early, the lines were short. Charlie only had enough money for his bus fare home.
He shrugged. His house wasn't THAT far away...
Grabbing a bag of chips and a small bottle of water, Charlie paid for his 'lunch' and found a seat by himself. He opened his book and began filling out the review sheet silently.
He wasn't exactly sure why he WANTED to sit by himself...he just knew he couldn't sit with the other Ducks...They didn't understand him...nor did they care...
"Well, well, well...if it isn't Captain Ducky sitting all by his lonesome." Charlie heard a snotty, obnoxious voice say from behind him.
Biting his tongue, he ignored the voice of Rick Riley. What did HE want?
"Where are all you little Duck-pals, Conway? They get hit by a car while crossing the road?" Riley asked, sniggering at his own 'joke.'
Charlie rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. "I think you might be mistaking 'ducks' with 'chickens.' Ducks don't 'cross the road.'"
"Shuttup! No one asked you." Riley snarled.
Charlie let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. "What do you want, Riley? To what to I owe this PLEASURE?" he asked snarkily.
"Oh, I was just curious as to why you haven't been hangin' with your little Duck-pals. You having a fallout with them?" Riley asked, his cronies Scooter and Cole behind him as usual.
"I don't see how that is any of your business." Charlie said simply, taking a bite out of another chip.
Just as Riley was about to make a snappy comment, another voice cut through.
"What's going on here?" Fulton demanded; Portman, Adam, and Russ were behind him.
"Nothing." Charlie said coldly, taking a drink from his water bottle.
"You botherin' Conway?" Portman asked Riley, stepping up next to Fulton.
In a sudden burst of random anger, Charlie stood up and slammed his large book down on the table. "Look guys, I don't want, OR NEED, your help."
They looked at each other. "But wasn't he buggin' you?" Russ asked.
"I can take care of myself, alright? I don't need your help, so why don't you GO AWAY and mind your own BUSINESS!" he snapped viciously, unsure of why he was suddenly so angry.
Adam looked hurt, but Portman crossed his arms. "We aren't going anywhere."
Charlie stared him down, his eyes were hardened in defiance and his lips were pursed tightly. After the heated stare down went on for a few moments, Charlie grabbed his book and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Fine, have it your way. I guess I'll just leave." He said coldly, giving them one last glare before walking off.
"Wow...someone forgot to take their happy pills this morning..." Russ said, watching their Captain disappear.
"Guess that answers my question." Riley said with a smirk.
Fulton gave Riley an angry glare. "What question?"
Riley just smirked self-righteously and left the table. The four freshman Ducks stood there wondering what had caused Charlie to get angry. They had only been trying to help...
~~~*~~~
Charlie threw open the bathroom door and walked down to the last stall, just as he had before. Locking the door behind him again, he sat down on the ground, his back to the wall. He didn't know why he had become so angry. He just wanted them to leave him alone! What part of that had they misunderstood? Could they not just realize he wanted to be alone?
He pulled his backpack onto his lap and took in a sharp breath. He unlatched the watch from his wrist and peeled the bandage up slightly so he could examine the three cuts. After constantly washing it off to avoid scabs, three light purple marks were left. He ran his thumb over them, trying to remember the release and control he had felt. For once, he wasn't allowing someone else to hurt him. He wasn't allowing himself to be controlled.
His breath becoming shaky again, he opened his backpack and began rummaging for the razor he had shoved into his backpack that morning. The only thing that gave him a sense of control anymore...
When he found it, he pulled it out of the bag and brought it to the skin of his wrist. Cutting through the skin caused a searing pain; but this pain was not at all unwelcome.
His nose burned briefly before he felt tears well up in his eyes again. He swallowed a knot in his throat while the now-familiar pain burned through his wrist.
He heard the bathroom door open, and a few voices filled the previously silent tiled room.
Someone banged on the door to the stall he was in. "Hey, Charlie? You in there?"
He was startled and dropped the razor in the cold tile floor. He bit his lip. He debated whether or not to ignore the person. "Yeah. I'll uh, be out in a second." He said, his voice catching in his throat.
Charlie panicked. What was he going to do? He couldn't very well just waltz out now. They were bound to ask questions if his wrist was bleeding like there was no tomorrow.
His head whipped around, searching for any way out. The cut was still pouring and he had no way to clean it. He tightly wrapped his other fist above the cuts to try and hold off some of the blood until he could think of something to do.
"Okay. We'll head on to class." The voice said, still somewhat wary. Charlie wasn't sure at the moment who it had been, but he didn't care. He was just relieved they were leaving.
When Charlie was sure he had heard the bathroom door close, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and picked up his watch, peeking out the stall door. The coast was clear, so he stepped out and quickly washed off his wrist, being as swift about it as possible. He took a few paper towels and dried it off, ignoring the rough texture of the paper towel against his tender skin.
Putting the still-bloodied bandaide back on and clasping his watch over it, Charlie let out a sigh. That had been too close for comfort. He would have to be more careful...
Just as this task was completed, a flood of guys poured in to carry out their business before class. Lunch had apparently just ended.
Charlie bumped shoulders with Adam as the blonde boy walked into the bathroom. Charlie adverted his gaze to the floor and darted out the door.
Adam gave him a questioning glance, still upset about what Charlie had said at lunch. Adam felt his worry building by the day. He had come in with Portman and Fulton to check and see if Charlie was in there, but left when he saw Portman and Fulton at the last stall, confirming that he was in there. They hadn't needed him for the moment. Besides, he had needed a drink of water before going to the bathroom himself.
When most of the stalls filled, Adam sighed. He walked down to the last one, considering it was the only vacant one left.
He opened the door. Before he closed the door behind him, he saw something. Something...shiny had caught his eye. He furrowed his eyebrows as he knelt on the ground, frowning as he observed the offending object.
A razor.
A bloodied razor, at that.
Nebula- Ah, so good to hear ermm...read from you! Or...um...something like that. Lol...anyway. I'm glad I have your approval! I did something right! Whoo-hoo! Lol. I'm glad you thought the Charlie/Julie moment at the end was good. It means a lot to me that I haven't totally and irreversibly screwed up my story. ^_^ *is in shock for a moment* Wait, you posted another DC fic? And I missed it? Gah...this is what I get for taking a break...lol...I'll get right to it. ^_^ Thanks for informing me. Lol...and again, thanks for your review. *hugs*
Rachel- Another inspiring review on your part, I must say. You never cease to inflate my ego. ^_^ You don't know how relieved I am that I managed to make it come out right. I personally have never cut myself either, so I'm kinda going out on a limb and hoping that I don't crash and burn. ^_^ I'm extremely happy that you're so supportive with this story and manag to always say the right thing to convince me that I'm not screwing it up ^_^ Thanks!
Banksiesbabe99- Lol, close calls are my forte. ^_^ I love'm...Well, not so much when I'm reading, but I love writing them. Lol...And yes, you're probably right. Flying out to Minnesota with a massive sign saying what's wrong probably won't help much. ^_~ No shame in talking to the character. Lol. I'm sure Charlie appreciated it. *glances over at Charlie who is chasing a butterfly* Um. Yeah, anyway. He's on break right now. I'm glad you liked the idea of Charlie seeing his mom. ^_~ Thanks for such a nice review, and I always love hearing from you!
Adriana- Yes! The greatness of many updates! Rah for updates! Lol...^_^ I'm glad you love Adam and Charlie. *nods* Oooh...that does look cool. Hehehe...thanks for the lovely review, Adriana! And I'll go check out your story now. Yay!
Allie- Aw, I can't have blinking powers? Oh well, I guess twitching powers will have to work. Lol, yeah, I guess I am a lot mean to Charlie. ^_~ I'm sorry you don't like being depressed. ^_^ Lol, I agree. The Princess Bride is a good movie. Lol...^_^ I'm glad you liked Julie in the last chapter. And worry not, the time will come. ^_^ I know how you feel with not being able to get into it, but I can't say I'm near the end on many of my fics anyway. Lol...I'll be sad to see your story end. *cries* And don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Lol...it's a real shocker, but I actually have a plan. *winks*
Liz- Thanks, and I'm glad you like the part I added to the chapter. ^_~ Love ya lots!
Katie- Yeah, I used to have a friend who suffered severe depression and all that lovely stuff...It's sad. She was my best friend, but I haven't seen her in almost a year because she got sent away to work out her problems away from all the negative influences. It's a really sad thing, and I hope I never have to go through it. I'm glad your friends were willing to talk to you about it. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Lol...^_~
Chroni- *pats head* It'll be okay...I hope you like this chapter.
DodgerMcClure.aka.Drama-Queen- Lol, that's a good point...he IS Charlie...and seriously, who couldn't love him? But he doesn't quite catch stuff like that. Lol...I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you like this one! ^_^
Angel Spirit- I'm glad you like the progression of my chapters. Makes me feel loved. ^_^ I'm glad you're liking all the Charlie angst. ^_~
Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks.
-Chapter 40-
Charlie woke up the next morning, wanting nothing more than to stay asleep.
He carried out his normal daily routine; get dressed, eat, brush teeth, grab backpack...
When he stepped into the bathroom again to quickly brush his hair, his hand froze by the razor next to his brush in the cabinet.
He forced himself to pick up the brush and leave the sharp pointy object as it was.
As soon as the boy finished running the brush through his tangled brown hair, he timidly picked up the blade and quickly stashed it in his backpack.
On second thought, it couldn't hurt to bring it...
"Charlie!" he heard Bombay call from the first floor.
Charlie adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and walked downstairs to Bombay.
The older man handed money for a bus fare and left, saying he had to leave for work early for a meeting that morning.
Charlie nodded and accepted the money as he walked out the door, consciously preparing himself for another mentally-taxing day at Eden Hall...
~~~*~~~
As the faces of the always-upbeat Ducks came into view, Charlie grimaced in spite of himself. He hated that he felt disconnected. He hated that everything was happening to him. He hated being crowded, yet he hated feeling empty and alone.
He just darn well hated everything...
When he and Adam made eye contact, Charlie knew he couldn't claim he hadn't seen them. However, Charlie kept walking in the other direction. Half of them probably didn't even notice he wasn't there with them...
~~~*~~~
Connie frowned as Charlie continued walking away. "Guys, he doesn't look so good..."
"I'm sure he's fine, Connie. This is Charlie we're talking about; he's probably just worked up over something. Chances are he'll be back to normal anytime now." Russ said, shrugging.
"I don't know...I'm worried too. He would usually be to his 'ranting stage' by now, but he hasn't said a word." Fulton said.
"Come on Fulton; I'm sure Russ is right. We all know Charlie's tendency to blow things WAY out of proportion. He's probably upset because he missed the end of the season." Portman said, patting Fulton's shoulder, as if it would knock the foolish idea from his brain.
Fulton nodded slightly, following the group into the school building.
~~~*~~~
Charlie trudged down the hall by himself, putting off going to class for as long as humanly possible. It was Friday and he only had the weekend before finals. The brief 'study session' with Julie had been relatively helpful, but he was still worried. Failing the ninth grade would not be a good idea...
For once, Charlie was actually relieved that he had no hockey to worry about. Yes, it's shocking...I know. If he did, he would have to worry about everyone asking questions in the locker room. He wouldn't even get to play because of his arm. Luckily, the cast had been replaced with a sling.
As he approached the bathroom, he considered skipping his first period class. He really wanted to, but he knew it wouldn't help the problem with his final exams...
The boy resisted the urge to skip class and continued walking. Not today.
But getting to class on time MIGHT be a good idea...
~~~*~~~
"...and that concludes class for today. Be sure to complete your review packets and study for your final exams. They won't be easy. Dismissed." The teacher said, releasing the class of students for lunch.
Charlie quickly packed his stuff and rushed out the door before any Ducks in his class could say anything.
He briskly sped down the hall, rushing to the lunchroom.
When he saw Goldberg and Averman walk by, he slipped behind another group of random people. Once the coast was clear, Charlie continued his trek to the lunchroom.
Because he had arrived early, the lines were short. Charlie only had enough money for his bus fare home.
He shrugged. His house wasn't THAT far away...
Grabbing a bag of chips and a small bottle of water, Charlie paid for his 'lunch' and found a seat by himself. He opened his book and began filling out the review sheet silently.
He wasn't exactly sure why he WANTED to sit by himself...he just knew he couldn't sit with the other Ducks...They didn't understand him...nor did they care...
"Well, well, well...if it isn't Captain Ducky sitting all by his lonesome." Charlie heard a snotty, obnoxious voice say from behind him.
Biting his tongue, he ignored the voice of Rick Riley. What did HE want?
"Where are all you little Duck-pals, Conway? They get hit by a car while crossing the road?" Riley asked, sniggering at his own 'joke.'
Charlie rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. "I think you might be mistaking 'ducks' with 'chickens.' Ducks don't 'cross the road.'"
"Shuttup! No one asked you." Riley snarled.
Charlie let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. "What do you want, Riley? To what to I owe this PLEASURE?" he asked snarkily.
"Oh, I was just curious as to why you haven't been hangin' with your little Duck-pals. You having a fallout with them?" Riley asked, his cronies Scooter and Cole behind him as usual.
"I don't see how that is any of your business." Charlie said simply, taking a bite out of another chip.
Just as Riley was about to make a snappy comment, another voice cut through.
"What's going on here?" Fulton demanded; Portman, Adam, and Russ were behind him.
"Nothing." Charlie said coldly, taking a drink from his water bottle.
"You botherin' Conway?" Portman asked Riley, stepping up next to Fulton.
In a sudden burst of random anger, Charlie stood up and slammed his large book down on the table. "Look guys, I don't want, OR NEED, your help."
They looked at each other. "But wasn't he buggin' you?" Russ asked.
"I can take care of myself, alright? I don't need your help, so why don't you GO AWAY and mind your own BUSINESS!" he snapped viciously, unsure of why he was suddenly so angry.
Adam looked hurt, but Portman crossed his arms. "We aren't going anywhere."
Charlie stared him down, his eyes were hardened in defiance and his lips were pursed tightly. After the heated stare down went on for a few moments, Charlie grabbed his book and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Fine, have it your way. I guess I'll just leave." He said coldly, giving them one last glare before walking off.
"Wow...someone forgot to take their happy pills this morning..." Russ said, watching their Captain disappear.
"Guess that answers my question." Riley said with a smirk.
Fulton gave Riley an angry glare. "What question?"
Riley just smirked self-righteously and left the table. The four freshman Ducks stood there wondering what had caused Charlie to get angry. They had only been trying to help...
~~~*~~~
Charlie threw open the bathroom door and walked down to the last stall, just as he had before. Locking the door behind him again, he sat down on the ground, his back to the wall. He didn't know why he had become so angry. He just wanted them to leave him alone! What part of that had they misunderstood? Could they not just realize he wanted to be alone?
He pulled his backpack onto his lap and took in a sharp breath. He unlatched the watch from his wrist and peeled the bandage up slightly so he could examine the three cuts. After constantly washing it off to avoid scabs, three light purple marks were left. He ran his thumb over them, trying to remember the release and control he had felt. For once, he wasn't allowing someone else to hurt him. He wasn't allowing himself to be controlled.
His breath becoming shaky again, he opened his backpack and began rummaging for the razor he had shoved into his backpack that morning. The only thing that gave him a sense of control anymore...
When he found it, he pulled it out of the bag and brought it to the skin of his wrist. Cutting through the skin caused a searing pain; but this pain was not at all unwelcome.
His nose burned briefly before he felt tears well up in his eyes again. He swallowed a knot in his throat while the now-familiar pain burned through his wrist.
He heard the bathroom door open, and a few voices filled the previously silent tiled room.
Someone banged on the door to the stall he was in. "Hey, Charlie? You in there?"
He was startled and dropped the razor in the cold tile floor. He bit his lip. He debated whether or not to ignore the person. "Yeah. I'll uh, be out in a second." He said, his voice catching in his throat.
Charlie panicked. What was he going to do? He couldn't very well just waltz out now. They were bound to ask questions if his wrist was bleeding like there was no tomorrow.
His head whipped around, searching for any way out. The cut was still pouring and he had no way to clean it. He tightly wrapped his other fist above the cuts to try and hold off some of the blood until he could think of something to do.
"Okay. We'll head on to class." The voice said, still somewhat wary. Charlie wasn't sure at the moment who it had been, but he didn't care. He was just relieved they were leaving.
When Charlie was sure he had heard the bathroom door close, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and picked up his watch, peeking out the stall door. The coast was clear, so he stepped out and quickly washed off his wrist, being as swift about it as possible. He took a few paper towels and dried it off, ignoring the rough texture of the paper towel against his tender skin.
Putting the still-bloodied bandaide back on and clasping his watch over it, Charlie let out a sigh. That had been too close for comfort. He would have to be more careful...
Just as this task was completed, a flood of guys poured in to carry out their business before class. Lunch had apparently just ended.
Charlie bumped shoulders with Adam as the blonde boy walked into the bathroom. Charlie adverted his gaze to the floor and darted out the door.
Adam gave him a questioning glance, still upset about what Charlie had said at lunch. Adam felt his worry building by the day. He had come in with Portman and Fulton to check and see if Charlie was in there, but left when he saw Portman and Fulton at the last stall, confirming that he was in there. They hadn't needed him for the moment. Besides, he had needed a drink of water before going to the bathroom himself.
When most of the stalls filled, Adam sighed. He walked down to the last one, considering it was the only vacant one left.
He opened the door. Before he closed the door behind him, he saw something. Something...shiny had caught his eye. He furrowed his eyebrows as he knelt on the ground, frowning as he observed the offending object.
A razor.
A bloodied razor, at that.
