Jesus Christ on a Cross! Okay, I am now at a point that I never thought in a million years I would be at... I have 50 reviews. Yes, you heard correct, 50. Why you may ask. Are people plotting against me? Is this just some part of a huge government conspiracy? Is the entire world on crack? These are all very good questions, and I assure that the answers are out there. All I know is that I, ragdoll, have 50 reviews. I can now die a decently happy person! Thank you all so so so sooooo much .
Dark-Angel302: Maybe Mokuba is up to something... or maybe not...or maybe ragdoll hasn't decided yet.... You may never know... yeah, thank you for the review!
Ai Baka-san Austra: Yes, I agree, poor, poor Otogi of the dice world.He doesn't understand, he is shmall... I have no idea why I just said that... Hmm, I think I may have to end up making Mokuba plan something, everyone seems to think so... I think I will... oh, Ryou had scissorhands because of the movie... that and I had a similar dream... (sigh) yes, biology is hell... oh well, I will survive it's evil-ness... I hope....
andromeda90: Of course I like your poems, why wouldn't I? They're really good! YES, write more Seto/Ryou poems! I need them, I need them bad (goes into spaz attack). Cain: Hmm (pokes with stick) I might as well finish this... thank you for the review! And, LONG LIVE DAVIS/KEN! Mwa ha ha ha...
Safforn-Starlight: Yeah, you reviewed again! You're so mysterious... it's so cool! Cain: Don't listen to her, it's to the point where nothing even makes sense anymore... poor thing... Thanks anyways!
treana: treana, my love, my darling, my 'paddy', thank you so much for reviewing (bows) It is a great honor. I wuv you! (glomps) YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Yeah, uh... okay! Thanks a million for the review!
Solar: Pfff, yeah I know. Stupid thing they call school that deprives me of my right of a life of unlimited fanfiction... DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL! Now that that's over... I didn't make Malik too dumb, did I? It's just how I kinda see him. During the series, he was all dark and broody. To me, after all the bad things, he's really just a silly person. Then again, I am an idiot, so whatever... Thanks for the review!
The Chaotic Ones: Here's your 'more as possible'! Hope you likey!
Yami-loverOB1: I plan to explain all of Ryou's little quirks today! I don't think he's that crazy...maybe he is... I dunno... Thank you for the review! I love reviews! I love them bad...
Okay, now it's explaining time... a lot of people asked about the dream so here it is... Scissorhands because of the movie they watched, spaghetti-o's because I like them, what Seto said because I like the way it sounds, the coat...well, duh, Umm Seto is also a well duh, and I think that's it... Truthfully, I just had a similar dream (minus the Seto, add Elijah Wood and Ricky-poo [drool]) So yeah. That's the story.
I hope I didn't make Malik too dumb. To me, that's just how he would be... He was all dark and broody during the time he was there, so I figured that while he wasn't being mean, he would be all simple and happy. But then again... I'm an idiot, so yeah...
Now Cain, do the disclaimer!
Cain: ragdoll does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any other movie/book/or song that may have inspired this. It's not hers, not at all...
and now for the disclaimer...
Cain: (sigh) shonen-ai ( boys being boys...together), rude words, and some more drama-rama probably...
Chapter 7 Winter Angels
Ryou's POV
I glared down at the piece of paper that had somehow found it's way to the top of my desk. I poked at it uneasily before cautiously turned towards the people that surrounded me. Needless to say, I had my suspicions of who it was from. I slowly turned to my left to examine the person that still haunted my dreams. Seto sat two seats away from me, staring to the emptiness. I've never seen him stare like that. He always had his laptop in front of him or a book. I never saw him just sit back and let everything go. Normally, I would be glad that he was allowing himself to be human, but this time, he seemed so... sad. He just sat there, not even glaring at Joey as he walked into the room loudly. Just sitting and staring out the window, almost as if it could solve any and all problems he had. He seemed so far away, even if there was only one seat between us. But now, a seat seemed like a mile. But still, it truly is amazing the difference that one seat could make. It's just enough to make me feel safe enough to sit without nervously twisting my hands or to not wait in vain for him to touch the end of my nose gently like he did before. But just barely... maybe one seat wasn't that far after all...
Why am I thinking about him anyways? I promised myself that I could make it through the day and not even think about him. Of course, this was after I sat and cried into his jacket for a good three hours. Maybe I really am a hopeless case... probably. It's just that...well I... I don't want to be in... love. Oh gods, I just said that word didn't I? But, I can't love Seto. He's..it's not right. He's perfect and I'm... well, not. Why do I always get myself in these types of situations? I've always lived for what can't be, and here I am doing it again. He'll never l-love me. All I'm doing is asking to be hurt. Plain and simple. The hardest thing in the world is having to spend everyday so close to someone that you know that you can never really be close to. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough, I'm too much of a coward. But I prefer it that way. I once heard a quote that said 'I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.' [1] And I guess it's true. It's just... why did I fall in love if knowing that I can't have it hurts so much?
I guess I love to know that I'm not alone...
I glanced back down at the untouched note on my desk. I slowly unfolded it to see (much to my relief, but dismay at the same time) a small, untidy scroll. Definitely not Seto's writing. I read the small note that had "Meet me at lunch?" written sloppily across it. I pried my eyes away from the still oblivious Seto to look at who could have possibly written the note. I turned my head to look behind Seto to see an unwelcomed sight: Devlin. Not that I don't like him, mind you. He's just so loud and in-your-face. Not exactly what I needed at the moment...
I looked back down at the note to realize that it was in fact Devlin's handwriting. He must have realized that I was watching him because the next time I looked up, he was winking at me and had his lips puckered slightly, as if to blow me a kiss. Typical Devlin... I felt my face go red while he laughed slightly. He gave me one last grin before mouthing silently across the room "Well, are you coming?" I glanced at Seto one last time before mutely nodding my head.
---------Later at lunch----------
I walked silently towards the cafeteria since it was snowing outside and the teachers wouldn't let us outside to eat. I don't see why not. I don't mind sitting in the snow. But then again, I'm probably still suffering the cold from hell because I walked to school in that same snow. I really didn't have choice though. I didn't know whether Seto was planning in picking me up this morning, so in order to avoid him like I planned, I walked to school thirty minutes early. I wasn't going to take any chances...
I entered the crowded the lunchroom, setting my eyes on Devlin and walking swiftly towards him. He amazingly found an uncrowded corner and was currently messing around with some dice. I sat down in front of him softly, as to not disturb any of his dice tricks that I was currently gawking at. He looked up at me softly and gave me a soft smile that was certainly not like the usual Devlin. I eyed him slightly before dropping my gaze to his hands that were still working with the dice.
"You and Tristan are close, right?" he questioned suddenly. I looked up form his hands to give him a quizzical look.
"Well, yeah. We are pretty close," I replied confused. I really hope Tristan hasn't made a fool of himself somehow. I know he hasn't confessed anything yet... or maybe he couldn't keep it in anymore and just told him everything. No... Tristan wouldn't do that... Then what does Devlin want? Does he want to talk about me?
"Well, do you what's wrong with him? He doesn't talk anymore, he's hardly around, he doesn't even care when I taunt him. He always look as if he will burst into tears at any moment. I'm... worried about him." he said while looking down at his hands. I should have known... it's never about me...
I thought about what he was asking. He was worried about Tristan. Genuinely worried. Maybe the world really is coming to an end. Hmm, that would be nice right about now...
"Why does it matter to you? You never payed much attention to him anyways, at least not in a positive way. Why do you care?" Wow, that was unusually assertive of me. Well done, Ryou. You're getting better at this. And you're also talking to yourself...
I looked back up at Devlin to see him staring out the nearby window blankly. It's amazing how two people can look exactly alike without having any physical features in common... -He- had the same look in his eye...
"Well..." Devlin began slowly, "sometimes you don't realize that you need something until it leaves you..."
"...Oh..." Okay, Duke Devlin misses Tristan. The world should come falling down at any moment now...
I looked up from my twisting hands to see Devlin gazing out the window again.
"You know, I think I figured it out... Thanks Bakura. You really know how to help a guy out. Speaking of which, what's wrong with you?" He finished brightly. I think I need to talk to Tristan about having Devlin checked for being bipolar or split personality or...something. That's just not normal....
"Well, what do you mean? I've had a cold for a while now..."
"Not, not that," he cut me off, "You've just been so..." the word you're looking for is mopey... "mopey," he finished. Maybe he should be checked for telepathy too...
"It's nothing..." I answered, not really wanting to get into that right now.
"Then why don't I believe you?" he questioned while taking the dice back in his hands.
"Really, I'm fine..."
"If you insist...Thanks again for listening to me Bakura. It really helped. I have something I need to take care of now... " he stood up from the table and began to walk away. Before he was too far away for me to hear, he called to me in a soft voice, "Just remember, even unrequited love has its rainbow."
Seto's POV
I walked listlessly down the halls, not really caring whether I ran into anyone or not. It really didn't matter. I haven't seen Ryou all weekend. Sure, I've seen him in class, but every time I did see him, his head's down and he staring at the floor as if his life depended on it. Sure it may have only been a few days since I've seen him, but I don't think that's what's hurting so bad... I think he's avoiding me. And the worst part is, I don't know what I did. I can't think of anything that I could have possibly done. But then again, I am the heart-less cold bastard, so who knows... I tend to mess everything up, some way or another. Even then that's not what hurts the most. I... I think that I may be in love with him... Why? I don't know, I really don't know. Can this mean that I've completely lost it? But then that brings up the question of whether I ever had anything to lose in the first place. Within him I lose myself, without him, I find myself wanting to be lost again. Does that even make sense? I sometimes think that nothing makes sense anymore. Maybe that's the problem, there's no logic left in the world. There has to be something logical in the world... science. Science is logical. So is gravity. But can gravity really be to blame for my love? I don't think so. But then again, I don't know anything about love. I don't think that he does either... I just know that he has some kind of defense, a defense much like mine, that won't allow me near him... I wish...I wish I didn't think so much. I wish that I knew what to do. I wish he would let me near...
But most of all, I wish I had met him as a small child, without all his armor to fend off the world. I would have kept him underneath my wing. I would have protected him from everyone and everything. I know I sound so random these days, but that's what he does to me. All sense of reason has left me and I'm deserted alone, finding my way back. And when I go there, I try to take him with me because it's all I can do. But I know that he doesn't need me to and I know he doesn't love me. And I really wish that I could walk away and forget everything that I feel, everything that we have, but I can't. Because I know that he won't come after me and I guess that's what hurts the most...
I shook my head slightly, as if in hope that all the thoughts would go away somehow. There's no point in being like this. I've gone my entire life without anyone to lean on, I can do it now too... No I can't... I guess you never really know what you're missing until it leaves... Hmph, now I sound like some kind of romance novelist. Great, just great...
I pushed past a group of people who, for some reason, seem to think that the hall is for having social gatherings with twelve different people at one time. I received many glares, but it's nothing that I'm not use to. I walked further along, passing many more people and getting many more glares, until I came to a large window that faced the front of the school. Outside was pure white. Anything that hadn't been moved for five minutes was covered in an layer of the untouched snow, covering everything in what must have been a cold blanket. The only thing that was distinguishable from the snow was the few people that had the misfortune to have to walk home. I glanced casually from a girl with long red hair to a younger boy who was playfully picking up handfuls of the snow and throwing it straight over his and the girl's head, sprinkling the girl's bright hair with speckles of white. I was about to start on my way back through the halls when somethingcaught my eye.
Ryou.
If it wasn't for his over-sized, blue coat, I probably never would have seen him. I remember a long time ago, when we had just moved in with Gozaburou[2], Mokuba would ask me to read to him every night. Every time I would sneak in there, he would pull out the same book and I would read to him until he fell asleep before sneaking back to my room. The book that he would always pick was about the different types of fairies and angels, I think. I never really knew why it appealed to Mokuba so much, but I never really asked. I remember one night, I had snuck in like always and opened the book to the marked page to begin reading from where we left off. On the page was a painting if a beautiful woman with pale skin and white hair. She wore a long white gown that hung gracefully to body and slid past her hands. The only thing that wasn't white about her was her eyes which were a stunning color of blue. Every part of her looked like the snow, almost like you could lose her if you were to ever take her outside during a snow storm. She looked like she needed to be protected... I remember that I sat looked at that picture for what seemed like hours until Mokuba spoke up.
"Which one is she?" he questioned in a soft voice, as if afraid of waking Gozaburou who was asleep all the way at the other end of the building. I studied the picture a moment longer before looking at the loopy cursive that was above her portrait.
"She's a Winter Angel, Mokie. It says that she's quiet and shy, but is considered one of the nicest angels there are."
He gasped at the picture before bringing his hand to the book. "Is she the one that makes snow?" he questioned. I nodded in answer, laughing inwardly at the boy's amazement."When we get out of here, big brother, I want to move to a place where it snows every year. And I want to build my own snow angel and we can name her Cleo. And when it gets too cold, we go inside and watch Cleo from the house, just to make sure she doesn't fly away until winter is completely over. And then we can be happy..." I remember watching as Mokuba traced over her picture with his finger as if trying to memorize every line that made up the portrait. I don't remember much after that though, just the picture of the angel. I cleared my mind of the memory and began began to walk out the door, in hopes of catching Ryou before he was completely gone. I half sprinted to where he was walking by himself, with the jacket pulled tightly around himself. I called out his name, but I doubt he would be able to hear. Just as I was about to be caught up with him, I noticed him turn suddenly and walk back towards the school. He really does confuse me sometimes...
I decided to slow down, he obviously wasn't going home yet so there was no use in running. I followed him as he walked a little further ahead, not really paying attention to where we where going. It wasn't until he stopped that I took my eyes off of him to see our surroundings. In front of him, Yugi-tachi was sitting under a snow-covered tree, flinging snow at one another. I came to a stop, ensuring that there was a safe distance between the two of us. After a moment of hesitation, Ryou walked up to the group, still clutching to the familiar looking coat. They exchanged greetings and Ryou sat down in the snow, shivering. I fought internally with myself for a moment before approaching the small group.
As soon as I made myself known, Ryou looked up, pain spread across his beautiful features. I felt my head drop slightly, knowing that I somehow was the cause of it before pushing any of those thoughts away. I looked back at Ryou, not really caring that the pain was probably showing through on my face too. He really was beautiful, he blended right in with the snow. His long end of his coat was spread out around him and his legs were crossed over another. We continued to stare at one another until that Tristan-monkey spoke up.
"Kaiba, maybe you should go..." he said, glancing at Ryou, obviously seeing the pain in the boy's face.
"Ryou, please, I really need to talk with you. I... I can't... I need you to listen to me, please," I said, choosing to ignore the Tristan-monkey. I kept my eyes on Ryou, who now had unshed tears in his eyes. I began to come near him, in hopes of comforting him, but was stopped suddenly by the mutt.
"Get lost, Kaiba. He obviously doesn't wanna talk to ya, so go before you end up making things worse!" he glanced back at Ryou, as I did the same. He looked up at me, a tear streaming down his face, looking almost hopeful that I would go without a fight. I felt a burning sensation reach my eyes as he took the end of the damp coat that wrapped around his body to wipe the tear from his face. I hung my head in defeat and walked away before any of them could see my pain. I heard a small gasp as I began to walk away, but didn't bother to see who it was.
I miserably approached my car and opened the door for a nonexistent person before getting in myself and letting the tears fall. I always had liked that jacket...
[1] Quote from E.M. Forster
[2] ...hope I spelled that right....
All righty then, here's the boring chapter that took forever for me to write. I was sooo busy last week, but I finally finished it! Yup, I
'decided' to make it a little longer since it was late.
Cain: Actually, that just kind of happened, don't believe anything she says...
Yeah, anyways, I have a huge favor to ask.
ATTENTION! Will anyone help? I need some opinions. What do you think of a Seto/Ryou fic set in 1915-ish time? I have this one scene that popped into my head and I really want to write it. And I just know that it's set in the 1915 time era. I just know it... Anyways, I just wanted to get some opinions before I began to plot it out and everything. I don't want to fall in love with the idea and have no one like it... So please help! If you could tell me in a review or even e-mail it if you want. I just don't want to get even more attached to this and have my dreams squashed...poor dreams... but yeah... PLEASE REVIEW!
Cain: Yeah, please do, it helps get her through the week. If there are lots of reviews, she may even have the next chapter out on Wednesday! You know you want it....
TOODLES
