7/26/04
GOD IS LOVE
Chapter 1
Jolting upright in the bed, Lee wasn't sure what had woken him up, but he was instantly alert and ready to act. Hearing a noise from within the bathroom and realizing that he was alone in the bed, he figured out what was happening. With a sigh, he pushed the blankets back and climbed out of bed. Pausing to pull on his flannel pants, he went to the bathroom door and pushed it open. Laura was sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. She had covered herself with one of his uniform shirts and her skin looked deathly pale against the black fabric.
Glancing over at him, she held a hand up to prevent him from moving any closer. "Please, leave..." she whispered.
"I'm not going to just leave you like this."
"Lee, please... I don't need you watching me throw up... Please, just go."
"No," he said, sliding his back down the door frame, to sit on the floor.
Sitting back, to lean against the wall, Laura looked at the young man across from her with a mixture of affection and exasperation. "There's nothing you can do for me," she said softly. "I know you want to save me. After all, that's what you pilots do. You fly in, shoot down the bad guys and fly off in a blaze of glory. I suppose that's a pretty addictive feeling, but you can't do that this time. The bad guys are inside of me and you can't shoot them down... I'm so sorry, Lee, I know this is hard for you, but I'm alright. I can handle this on my own. But I can't handle it, if I know that you're watching me. I don't want you to see me like this."
He had to look away from the tears that were starting to silently course down her cheeks. She was right; he had thought that somehow he would be able to save her. That somehow the force of his love alone would be enough to defeat her illness. Wasn't that how it was in all those sappy, love stories that his mother had loved so much? Wasn't that how it was supposed to be? Frankly, he was amazed at his own immaturity and naiveté. After all the death and destruction that he had seen over the past year, he should have known better. There would be no more happy endings.
Feeling her stomach threatening to rebel once again, Laura whispered, "Please, Lee, just go back to bed."
Hearing the desperation in her voice, he couldn't refuse her request and he quickly left the small room, closing the door behind him. Back in the soothing darkness of his bedroom, he lay down on the bed, listening to the muffled sound of Laura's retching. It hurt him to see the once strong and proud woman reduced to this state, hurt like a physical thing. It hurt more than he ever imagined it could and he was completely powerless to do anything about it. The fact that she wouldn't even allow him to try, only increased his feeling of impotence. Finally, too exhausted to fight them, he gave in to his own helpless tears.
"Are we keeping you awake, Captain?" Tigh asked wryly as he watched Lee Adama trying vainly to stifle his third yawn in about as many minutes.
"No, sir, sorry," the younger man said sheepishly.
"Didn't get much sleep last night?" the XO asked pointedly, a sly grin on his face.
Lee said nothing and the elder Adama glanced over sharply at his second in command. He knew that Tigh was only giving the young man a hard time. Tigh seemed to feel some proprietary entitlement to tease his old friend's son and normally this wouldn't have bothered the commander, but he had heard the rumors as well. Suspecting that there might be some truth to them this time, and that there was a reason for Lee's lack of rest, Adama felt a paternal need to protect his son. He also felt that this was not the time for the discussion. They were about to begin one of their weekly meetings with the president to discuss the welfare of the civilian fleet. At the moment, it was just the three men sitting informally in Adama's state room, but Roslin and her aide would be joining them at any moment. He really didn't think it would be appropriate for her to walk in while they were discussing, even jokingly, who Lee's latest rumored sex partner was.
Catching his superior's glance, Tigh let the subject drop and returned to reviewing the reports lying in his lap. Adama shifted his attention to his son, who was seated across from him on the long couch. He had to admit that the younger man did appear tired. Aside from the very obvious yawning, he had dark circles under his eyes.
Yes, Adama decided, there most likely was truth to the rumors. Lee had been rather conspicuously spending more time in his quarters this past couple of months and yet, frequently appeared ill-rested. Adama had his own suspicions about who the young woman was, well, perhaps it was more like hopes than suspicions. He would dearly love for Lee and Kara to get together. In his, admittedly biased, opinion they were perfect for each other and always had been. Probably more perfect than Kara and Zac had been, he thought reluctantly. In many ways Zac and Kara had been too much alike. They were bound to clash. But Lee and Kara complemented and balanced each other.
The knock on the hatch interrupted the commander's thoughts and heralded the arrival of President Roslin and her aide, Billy. The three officers stood as the woman and the young man entered. As everyone was making their obligatory greetings, Adama took the opportunity to look closer at Roslin. If Lee looked tired, then she looked exhausted. She was quite pale and appeared to have lost weight. Frankly, he thought she looked ill. He had also been hearing rumors lately that she was ill, but the proposed diagnoses of this mysterious illness varied greatly. He sighed quietly. If she wasn't going to confide in him, then he could only assume that she didn't want him to know and there was nothing he could do for her. At his gesture, everyone settled onto the couch to begin the meeting.
"Alright, I'm still hearing some rather disturbing reports about this Enoch character," Adama said, getting right down to business. "Have we been able to find out anything about him?"
"Like What? How are we supposed to find anything?" Laura asked. "We can't exactly do a background check on him... He's a priest. He's offering comfort to the people on board The Bird of Paradise. That's hardly a crime."
"No, but he's preaching to more than just the passengers of The Paradise. I've got reports saying that everyday the shuttles bring more and more civilians over to listen to him. I'm getting complaints that it's starting to interfere with day to day operations. That's an awful lot of influence for a priest."
"Yes, but again, it's not a crime. The people want to hear what he has to say. Or is that what's bothering you? He is, after all, very critical of you."
"Yes, he claims to know the location of Earth, while saying that I do not. I am concerned, Madam President, that he may attempt to incite the people against the rightful authority of this convoy, which would include you, by the way, and that is a crime."
"Yes, that had occurred to me as well," she conceded. "But I think we need to proceed very carefully. If the people believe that their basic civil rights, such as freedom of speech and freedom of religion, are being violated, you may be making the man's case for him. Until he actually violates some law, I suggest that we play nicely with him."
Adama sighed and gave a grudging nod. "Have you actually met the man?"
"No, not yet, but I was planning to head over to The Paradise later today anyway. I was planning on taking Dr. Baltar with me. Since The Paradise's computer systems are so integrated and sophisticated, I thought I would have him take a look at them for any possible Cylon devices or viruses. I thought while the doctor was doing that, I would arrange to meet with the Prophet Enoch."
"Prophet?" Tigh asked, skeptically.
"Yes, that's what he calls himself. He claims to have direct communications with God," Laura said. "He claims that it was through one of these revelations that God showed him the exact location of Earth."
"Yeah, I heard that he claims to be able to heal people as well. You don't believe any of that crap, do you?"
Laura saw the quick look that Lee threw in her direction. "I never said I believed any of it, Colonel," she said. "I simply said that we all have the right to choose for ourselves what to believe or not to believe."
"Oh, come on, Divine revelations, Divine powers to heal, not to mention that he claims that it's our own fault that the Cylons attacked us. That they were acting as the Divine instruments of God to punish us for our wicked ways. How can anyone buy this crap?"
"We're living in desperate times, Colonel. Our people are frightened and confused. They're looking for answers, for reasons to explain why their lives have been torn apart. The Prophet Enoch, or whatever you choose to call him, gives them answers. Now, whether those answers make any sense or not, doesn't really matter at this point. As long as he delivers his statements with convincing passion, the people are, evidently, willing to listen to him."
"They're just a bunch of sheep," Tigh snorted contemptuously.
The president gave the colonel a penetrating look, her head tipped to one side. "You military types are trained to obey orders without question, without thought, like good little warriors. Doesn't that make all of you more than a little sheep-like, Colonel?"
"Alright, that's enough," Adama interrupted before the XO could respond and the argument got out of hand. "Very well, Madam President, we'll play nicely, as you put it, for now. But I would like a full report from you about this meeting. And please tell Dr. Baltar that I would like one from him as well."
"Yes sir," Laura said.
"Good, now let's move on to other business..."
Later that afternoon, as Laura and Billy were walking towards the shuttle waiting to take them to The Bird of Paradise, she noticed Lee standing beside a Viper speaking to the pilot seated in the cockpit. She noted that it was Kara Thrace. The female pilot glanced up and the two women made eye contact. The younger woman smiled and gave a quick wave. Seeing this gesture, Lee turned and saw Laura. Turning back to Kara, he said something which made her laugh. Turning away again, he walked over to join Laura.
"Madam President, may I have a quick word with you?" he asked as he approached.
"Of course, Captain. Why don't you join me in the shuttle and we can talk there. It'll be quieter."
"Um, I'll just wait here for Dr. Baltar and the shuttle pilot," Billy offered, looking slightly uncomfortable.
Once Lee and Laura were alone together on the shuttle, Lee asked, "So, I take it, from his reaction, that you told Billy about us?"
"Well, he's a perceptive young man. He was beginning to ask questions about where I was disappearing to in the evenings. So, I told him. I also thought it might be a good idea if someone actually knew where to find me in case of an emergency. You don't mind, do you?"
"No, I don't mind," he said, pulling her close and lightly resting his forehead against hers. "Listen, I'm sorry about last night."
"What are you apologizing for? I'm the one who ruined the evening and kept you up all night."
"You didn't ruin anything and I shouldn't have crowded you. It's just that I needed to-."
Abruptly pressing her lips to his, she kissed him fiercely and effectively cut off his words. She didn't want to talk about last night, didn't want to think about it. And she definitely didn't want to hear his explanation. She knew that she was being incredibly selfish, but she couldn't help it. She was only just managing to hang onto her self-control these days, trying to deal with her own emotions. Adding Lee's emotional baggage would be too much to bear right now. Perhaps later, she would be able to help him work through this, but right now, she needed to look after herself. She needed him to be silently supportive, to hold her when she reached out for him and to be undemanding when she needed to be alone. She knew this was expecting a lot from him, but that was how it had to be. Whether or not he understood any of this, she wasn't sure, but when she finally released him, he thankfully didn't pursue the subject.
Instead, he asked, "Will you talk to this Enoch about the whole healing thing?"
"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "Part of me says 'why not? I've got nothing to lose.' But that would also increase the risk of my condition becoming public knowledge."
"Laura, people are going to find out soon enough anyway," he said softly.
"Yes, that is a consideration as well... I don't know. I'll decide when I meet him."
"Okay... Will I see you tonight?"
"No, I don't think so," she said, caressing his cheek with one finger. "I think we both need to catch up on our sleep tonight."
He smiled. "Okay, well then, I guess I need to make this kiss count."
Drawing her close again, he slipped one hand up to cup her jaw. He kissed her deeply, but tenderly, cradling her body gently against his, as if afraid that he might break her. Laura felt the familiar tingle run through her body at the feel of his strong body pressed against hers. While she found his tenderness and consideration endearing, part of her longed to feel more of his strength. Part of her longed for him to be more forceful with her, but she knew that he never would, particularly not while her health was so delicate. She felt a sudden flash of anger at her own failing body. Lords, what she would give to have her old strength back, so that she could fully demonstrate her desire for this young man. But she knew that her body could no longer fulfill such promises. Their lovemaking had become increasingly tame and she sometimes suspected that he was not always fully satisfied with it, but of course, he never said anything. Lords, she thought, pulling him tighter, he deserved so much better than this.
The tenderness of the moment was abruptly interrupted by Billy's voice, loudly greeting Dr. Baltar as he apparently approached the shuttle. Lee and Laura quickly stepped apart, so that when Baltar and Billy boarded the shuttle seconds later, there was nothing inappropriate for them to see.
Lee wished the president good luck on her trip and quickly departed. Dr. Baltar, apparently fully absorbed in his own world, seemed to have been oblivious to the captain's presence. It occurred to Laura that she and Lee could have continued making out right in front of the man and he probably wouldn't even have noticed.
Arriving on The Bird of Paradise, a luxury starliner, Pres. Roslin found her captain, James Adonis, waiting for her. The tall, handsome man looked as impeccable as always. He stepped forward to greet Laura and shake her hand as she disembarked from the shuttle. After introducing him to Dr. Baltar and explaining the reason for the scientist's presence, the small group left the shuttle bay.
"The prophet is expecting you, Madam President," Adonis said, gesturing to a junior officer, who was standing nearby. "Petty Officer Simpson, here, will escort you to his rooms. I'll take Dr. Baltar up to the bridge, where he can get to work, if this is acceptable with you?"
"That would be fine, thank you, Captain."
The two groups went their separate ways, Dr. Baltar and the captain, going in one direction, Laura and Billy, trailing behind the young man in the crisp blue and white uniform, in another. The petty officer led them to an elevator, which took them up several decks, to one of the upper floors, where most of the more expensive suites were located. At the president's insistence, most of these suites had been given over to families. As they approached an open doorway, the sound of many, mingling voices caught their attention.
Entering the room, Laura was immediately reminded of her days in college. The large main room of the suite was filled with people, most of them in their 20's and 30's. Every available chair was occupied and many were sitting on the floor on cushions, carrying on quiet discussions in small groups. The room looked more like a university coffeehouse than a suite on a passenger liner. The only things missing were the oversized mugs of overpriced coffee and the obligatory cloud of cigarette smoke. She half expected to see someone standing at the front of the room, reciting bad poetry.
As she and Billy entered and looked around, a man disengaged himself from the largest of the groups and began weaving his way through the other groups toward them. He was quite tall, easily as tall as Billy, and had a lean, spare build. He was wearing a pair of loose khaki trousers and a baggy, dark blue t-shirt, its hem left untucked. His feet were bare.
"Madam President, it's good to meet you at last," the man greeted her warmly, grasping her extended hand in both of his. "I am Enoch. Welcome to my sanctuary."
"Thank you," Laura said, her tone neutral. "It's good to meet you as well... Um, sanctuary?"
"Well, I don't really think of this suite as my home and all are welcome here, so I tend to think of it as more of a sanctuary."
Taking a closer look at the man, Laura was somewhat surprised that he was much younger than she had expected, probably only in his early or mid thirties. His longish, coppery-red hair was unkempt and a light scattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose gave him a disarmingly boyish look. While he was not handsome in the classical sense of the word, like Capt. Adonis, he was undeniably attractive. Laura decided that this was due in large part to his eyes, which were of a strikingly unusual blue-green color that reminded her of the vast oceans of Picon, which had been famed for that distinctive shade.
Belatedly remembering her manners, Laura introduced Billy. After the two men had also shaken hands, Enoch turned and gestured toward the group he had been sitting with. A tall, shapely young woman, with long, loose dark hair stood and joined them. She was a very pretty girl with large, expressive dark eyes.
"This is Maeve," Enoch introduced her. "She's my right hand woman, you could say. Maeve, why don't you take Billy and introduce him to some of the others, while the president and I talk privately?"
"Certainly," the girl said, turning to smile invitingly at Billy.
The young man glanced questioningly over at Laura, who said, "It's alright, Billy, go with her. I'll see you in a little bit."
"Yes, ma'am," he said as he followed Maeve over to the group of young people.
"Come, we can talk in the other room where it'll be quieter," Enoch said, leading Laura into the suite's large bedroom, closing the door behind them, to block out the noise from the main room.
This room was decorated in relaxing shades of deep blue. Tasteful, but generic, artwork hung on the walls and she noted that no effort had been made to make the impersonal suite homier. There was nothing here to give a clue about the personality of the man she was facing. At his gesture, she sat in the well-padded chair, while he sprawled out on the neatly-made queen-sized bed beside it.
"So, I assume that Commander Adama sent you here to 'check me out'?" the young man said, getting right to the point.
"No, he didn't 'send' me," Laura corrected. "I don't take orders from him. But he does know that I'm here and is understandably curious about you. You have, after all, been very critical of him."
"Why shouldn't I be critical of him? He's lying to our people. He says he knows where Earth is, but he doesn't."
"And how do you know he's lying?"
"Because God spoke to me. He told me where Earth is and it was made clear to me that this knowledge wasn't given to anyone else. So, how could Adama know? ...You don't believe me, do you?"
Laura was silent for a moment before she spoke. "It is a rather unbelievable statement, don't you think? Most people who claim to speak directly to God are put in mental institutions. Can you tell me why you shouldn't be in one?"
To her surprise, Enoch simply smiled at this question. "Yes, I suppose that's the attitude most people initially have of me, but they always change their minds in the end."
"And why is that?"
"Because I can prove that I am in direct communication with God. As an example, I can heal the sick. Who else, but God, could give such a Divine power?"
"Heal the sick? And how exactly do you do this?"
"Allow me to demonstrate. May I approach you?" Enoch asked politely.
When Laura gave him a cautious nod, he stood and moved to stand in front of her chair. Closing his eyes, he held his hands, palm out, in front of her. For several long minutes he moved his hands, held about 15 centimeters out, over her body. They eventually came to rest over her chest. Opening his eyes, he looked down at her sadly.
"I understand why you came to see me now," he said softly. "You're dying."
"You can sense that?" she asked, somewhat unsettled.
"Oh yes," he said, lowering himself to sit on the floor in front of her chair. "As you probably know, every aspect of the human body is controlled by the brain. And the human brain is essentially nothing more than an incredibly sophisticated, organic computer. All of its functions, all of its commands, all of its thoughts, are basically made up of electrical impulses. All humans have a sort of electrical field which surrounds them... You know, it's amazing when you think about it. We really aren't that much different from our Cylon creations...
"Now, in my case, God has given my brain a boost. The electrical field which surrounds me is more powerful and over the years, I have learned to manipulate it. I can use it to affect the electrical impulses in another person's body. I can send out the necessary messages to that person's brain, in effect, telling it to heal itself."
"Really? And what else can you tell a person's brain to do?" Laura asked.
Enoch smiled at her. "I assure you, Madam President, I only use my abilities to help people. I am doing God's work."
"God's work..." she repeated musingly. "And what exactly is God's work? I thought you preached that God was punishing us when He sent the Cylons to destroy the Colonies?"
"He did. He punished us because, in creating the Cylons, we tried to play god ourselves. We tried to create a new lifeform in our own image. And that is His domain alone. But that punishment is over. Those of us, who have survived, must repent for our sins and show our renewed obedience to Him by renouncing the false prophet and following the true course to Earth."
"The 'false prophet'?"
"Commander Adama."
"So you're suggesting that the civilian fleet break away from the Galactica and follow you to Earth?"
"Follow me? No. I am a prophet. I am no leader of men, but you are. I would merely act as guide, but you could lead the people."
"Hmmm... If the fleet were to break away from the Galactica, how would we protect ourselves from the Cylons?"
"If our faith is true and our obedience complete, God will protect us. We will have no need for the Galactica."
"So you say... I don't know..."
"I understand your hesitation," Enoch said. "It is a very big step. And you still don't trust me, do you? You don't need to answer that. Please, let me prove myself to you. Allow me to heal you."
"I don't know..."
"Perhaps you'd like to speak to your lover before making your decision..."
"My what?" Laura asked, panic suddenly flaring in her stomach.
"Don't worry, I can't read minds. But strong emotions, such as love, can also be perceived as electrical impulses. You are in love, aren't you?"
"Yes," she said softly. "His name is Lee Adama. He's the commander's son."
Even as the words were leaving her mouth, Laura wasn't sure why she had said them. Why had she told the man Lee's name, let alone who he was? While she didn't entirely trust this "prophet", she did feel that it would be alright, that this man wouldn't betray their secret.
"The commander's son? Really?"
"Their relationship is rather strained. They had a falling out a few years back and they're still not entirely comfortable with each other." Again, she wasn't sure why she was telling Enoch this information. But for some reason, she felt the need to explain that Lee was not to be painted with the same brush as his "false" father.
"Interesting... I'd like to meet him. Talk to him... Why don't you tell him about my proposal to heal you? Talk it over with him. Come back and see me in a few days and bring him with you. Perhaps we can work something out together."
"Yes, maybe I'll do that. I'll certainly think about it... Now, I've taken up enough of your time. I'll go now," she said, standing.
Enoch rose gracefully to his own feet and escorted the president to the door. Back out in the main room, they found that Dr. Baltar had joined them. He was standing with Billy, slightly apart from the groups of chatting young people. Both men turned as the president and the prophet reemerged from the bedroom, Billy looking visibly relieved.
"Dr. Baltar, done with your inspection already?" Laura asked as she and Enoch approached.
"Uh, yes, it didn't take long. The computers are clean. The ship didn't have the corrupted navigational system and I found no evidence of viruses or devices," the doctor reported.
"Well, that's good news."
"Uh, y-yes, very," Gaius stammered. He was looking at the self-proclaimed prophet, who appeared to be staring intently at him. There was something about the man's disturbingly bright eyes that was making the scientist very uncomfortable. It felt as if the man was looking directly into his brain.
It suddenly occurred to Gaius that the man was, in fact, not looking at him at all, but just past him. Turning his head to see what had caught the man's gaze, Gaius saw his tall, blonde shadow standing slightly behind him. She also appeared to be looking past him at Enoch. Turning back to the prophet, Gaius realized that the man could see the blonde! And she was aware of it. They were looking at each other! What did this mean?
"Dr. Baltar, are you alright?" The sound of the president's voice cut into his disturbed thoughts.
"What? Oh, uh, y-yes, I'm fine," he said quickly.
Turning back to look at the blonde, he saw that she had vanished, as she so frequently did. Looking over at Enoch again, he found the red-haired man watching him placidly. Gaius quickly looked away again, flustered.
"Well, thank you for your time, Enoch." Gaius was aware of the president speaking again. "I will consider what we talked about and I will get back with you."
"I look forward to hearing from you again, Madam President."
After the small group had left, Enoch returned to the bedroom. He was no longer in the mood for company. He needed to think about the enlightening conversation he had just had. Lying down on the large bed, he put his hands behind his head and gazed up at the ceiling thoughtfully. After a few minutes there was a soft tap on the door.
"Yes?" he called.
"It's Maeve."
"Come in."
Entering the room, the young woman sat down on the bed beside him. Smiling, she reached out to toy with one coppery curl at his temple.
"So?" she asked.
"I don't think Pres. Roslin is going to be able to help us as I first thought. I don't think she's quite strong enough to stand up to Adama for us."
"You're going to do it yourself? That could be dangerous."
"No, I don't think that will be necessary. It seems that Commander Adama and his son are not quite the happy family that one might imagine. And it seems that Pres. Roslin is in love with the young Adama."
"How does this help us?" Maeve asked.
"Think about it, my dear. Capt. Lee Adama could very well be the key to all of our problems. If we can win him to our cause, we can manipulate both the president and the commander."
To be continued...
