Yami-loverOB1: Will they get together? I dunno, well, I DO know, but well, y'know. Isn't the suspense killing ya?

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andromeda90: Yeah, go Duke! (gasp) You're sick?! Oh you poor thing, here is an update to make it all better! P.S. Sadly, I do not know much about Sailor Moon. I watched when I was a child, but when you're like seven, you don't really care for plots --; But I would love to see more YGO from you!

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Relinquished: I cannot believe that you read my story (dies) I remember reading all your stories before I even thought about posting or anything... (bows) this is truly an honor. Anyways, thank you for reading and for reviewing on my story! It made me so happy! Thanks!

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treana: Hmm, I'm glad you like the Otogi/Honda-ness. I wrote it with you in mind! Anywho, thanks a million for all the nice words and such! Cain: (glomps) We wuv you soooo bad!

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Saffron-Stralight: (cowers) O-okay, I'll continue... I DON'T WAN TOT LIVE IN THE SHADOW REALM! THAT'S WHERE THE MONSTERS LIVE! And I just know that that's where DBZ came from, I just know it (shudders)

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a song for jeffrey: I am so glad to have you back! We missed you! So sorry to hear about your computer. Ed (my computer) and I went through some rough times too, huh Ed? (pats Ed's monitor) But where okay now...Thanks for the review! And you got me a present?! O.O It's beautiful! (Cries) Thank you so much! I have worked my entire life for something like this! I would like to thank Cain and my anime collection and Elijah Wood, but most of all, I want to thank you!

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The Chaotic Ones: Did Ryou and Tristan seem mean? Hmm, I'll have to explain that then... But yeah, I'll also try to explain why Ryou is everyone's "sounding board". (sigh) I dunno what I'd do without your reviews. I would probably be in a sad world where you curl into corners and cry for fun... Anywho, thank-a-million for the review!

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Ashuri chan : (sniff) I know how you feel... I wanted to cry and I was the one writing it... WHY AM I SO CRUEL?! Ah, who knows? Cain: Oh, I do! I do! (grasps hand over mouth) No one needs to know that.... Anywho, thanks for the review!

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Hibiscus Pink: You think 'No' on the 1915's? I thought it would work because of the bohemian age and stuff... But thanks for opinions all the same! ...sex?... O.o I dunno... (sweatdrop) I don't think i can pull that off. I can barely pull off writing the fic... hmm... Thanks for reviewing!

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Blue Eyed Angel2: Wow, I was just about to post when I got your review! Cool! Anywho, on to matters of business... (glomps) I MISSED YOU! I'm sorry to hear about your computer. Everybody seems to be having problems with theirs lately... But Ed is doing okay, aren't you girl? (Pats monitor)

Cain: Don't ask. Yes, she did name her computer. And yes, it is supposedly a girl. And yes, she did name it Ed. Why? I don't know, I don't even know anymore...

(glare) DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT! Anywho, glad to hear your back and well! Hope your computer blues get better. And thanks for the review and opinion on the fic! I appreciate it greatly! And I'm glad to hear that my fic doesn't give you a headache! lol

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Now Cain, you know the drill...

Cain: (sigh) ragdoll does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any other movie/book.or song that might have inspired this. She'll never be that smart...

Warnings: uh, the kissing-of-the-boys (aka: shonen-ai), some exceptionally rude words, and a frustrating misunderstanding....

Ohhh, I love you Cain! Anywho, on with the fic! I know that I said that I would update sooner, but I have been sooooo busy and the only time that I had to write produced total and complete crap. I mean, it was worse than usual! I just refused to lower myself to that level...and I just finished the chapter, literally just wrote the last word, when my sister came up and got mad at me so she hit the keyboard and the mouse and hit something, causing the entire thing to shut done and lose everything. I didn't even have a chance to save anything and then it was gone, just like the wind, just like the Jackson 5, just like A Flock of Seagulls... Oh how I cried...

Chapter 8 "Broken Smiles"

Seto's POV

I walked half-heartedly up the stairs in hopes of just making it to my room without letting Mokuba seeing me like this. I'm his older brother, therefore I have to be strong. But I really just can't be strong right now...

So far, my mission was a success and I had made it all the way up the stairs, almost to my room. Just as I was beginning to praise myself for a job well-done, Mokie came out from my room carrying an assortment of winter gloves and scarfs. He ran up to me, dropping all the forgotten clothing. He grasped me around my waist in a tight hug before looking up at me curiously.

"Seto, are you sick? Your eyes are all red. And have you seen Ryou? I saw him the other day. He was sick too. I saw a movie today. Do you want to go outside?" I looked down at Mokie, trying to take in everything that he just said in. I gave a half nod, half shrug in response to the first part of his interrogation, not really wanting to talk about that at the moment. I glanced back over at forgotten pile of clothing before swooping the young boy up in my arms and making my way to the small mountain of mittens.

"Why do you want to go outside when we could just stay in here? Besides, it's snowing. You don't want to get sick, do you? Why don't we just watch a movie?" I questioned while still holding him in my arms. He gave a slight frown before struggling to get out of my arms. Admitting defeat, he crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a harmless glare.

"But Seto, we still haven't made Cleo this year. And you did promise," He replied with a small pout in his face. Why does fate hate me so much? Why today of all days does he decide to bring that up. I need to go crawl in a hole...

I risked a glance back down at the younger boy to see the pout was still in place. I rolled my eyes in defeat before giving sighing in reply. He squealed with delight before digging through the discarded clothes. He pulled out a yellow scarf, gray mittens, and a purple hat that had a large, gray poof ball on top of it. Needless to say, it seemed out of place to have come out of my room.

Having collected all that he needed, Mokuba grabbed my arm and dragged me down the steps to the front closet where we keep jackets and outdoor shoes. He pulled my shoulders down so that my face was level with his as he perched the odd hat on top of my head, followed by the yellow scarf. To finish it off, he slid the mittens halfway onto my hands, then stood back to examine me. He then flung the closet door open and dove into the many hanging coats. He rummaged around, obviously in search of something while I patiently leaned my weight to one foot. After a moment or so of searching, he emerged from the cluttered mess with a slight frown on his face.

"Seto, where is your blue trench coat? It's too cold for any of these other ones. Is it in your room?" I blinked down at him, attempting to decipher what he was saying. I seemed to be two steps behind everything lately.

"My blue trench coat... I... I don't know..." I lied uneasily. Oh gods, why today? Why...

"You don't know? Did you lose it? But big brother, you never lose stuff. Did you leave it in the limo? We'll look for it when we get out there. Here, wear this one instead," he replied, pulling a coat out of the closet easily. I blinked down at the coat before sliding it on my body. Why didn't he just offer this one to me in the first place? I pulled the coat completely before moving my arms around to get use to the feel of it. It wasn't anything special, but the fact remained that it wasn't my jacket. I felt so... kind of like an alien in it. Just so not right... I shook my head slightly, removing any thoughts I had before. It's just a stupid jacket. nothing more. So what if he has it and just happens to wear it. It doesn't matter... Yeah, it doesn't matter...

I looked back down at Mokuba to see him attempting to pull a bright yellow jacket on over his head so he wouldn't have to take the time to undo the buttons. Rolling my eyes, I reached over to undo the buttons while he struggled to escape from the constricting jacket. Ah soon as he felt my fingers struggle with the buttons (it's not so easy to do when you have on mittens), he stopped waving his arms that were currently sticking straight up in the air through the arms of the jacket. After a moment of battle with the stubborn row of buttons, Mokuba peeked his head out, taking in a deep breath of oxygen dramatically. I rolled my eyes while playfully hitting him on the head. He giggled slightly before pulling the rest of his clothing on and making his way towards the door.

"Come on Setooooo," he whined, emphasizing on the last part of my name, "you take too long. It'll be spring time by the time you get out here. Pleeeeaaaasssseee hurry."

"If your in such a hurry, go out there and start on your own. I'll only be a minute."

He gave a small humph before reaching for the door, "Fine then, I will," he replied stubbornly. As he disappeared from sight, I turned back to the closet in hopes of finding a different jacket to wear. This one just wasn't working. I continued to rummage through the now trashed closet, searching in vain for any jacket that even resembled the one a certain white-haired boy now possessed. How did he get it anyways? I certainly don't remember giving it to him. And why was he even wearing it? I know he has other jackets, I've seen him carry them around plenty of times. it just doesn't make sense...

I slammed the closet door in defeat. I would just have to live with this one. I definitely couldn't get that other one back from him when he wouldn't even let me talk to him...

I walked out the front door, unconsciously shivering as the cold air whipped across me. I began my descent down the front the stairs when I felt something cold hit me from the side. I turned to see Mokuba's retreating form, obviously thinking he could outrun me. I chased after him, gathering a pile of snow in my hand as I ran. I chased him all the way around back until I came up to an already half-finished snow man.

"See big brother? She's almost done! All we have to do is finish her!" Mokuba said excitedly while trying to catch his breath. I smiled down at him in a way that made him arch his eyebrow suspiciously.

"Good job, Mokie. But first, I need to do this!" I shoved a snowball down the back of his jacket while he squirmed to escape my grip. I laughed happily as he pulled me down onto the ground with him where he was still trying to get the snowball from his clothing. We both stayed there for a while, not caring whether or not we were getting soaking wet, enjoying the silence. The calm silence hovered around us, making everything at ease. I lied back, breathing softly next to Mokuba.

"Why did you stop smiling?" Mokuba asked in a small whisper.

"What do you mean? I was smiling just a minute ago," I replied even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I don't mean then. I'm talking about when we were little and you would read to me and we would play in the sand all the time. You always smiled then. But then you stopped. It happened kind of slowly, y'know? You just began to smile less and less. Then you stopped all together..." He trailed off kind of quietly. I felt the silence settle among us before he began to speak again.

"But not so long ago, you began to smile again. I was so happy because you would come home and not go to your room or the office for a change. You would stay with me and read or watch a movie or just sit. You even had a friend over to the house, Seto! That day that Ryou came over... You were so happy. But, just as soon as it happened, you stopped. But this time, it wasn't gradual. You just stopped all of the sudden. Now, every rare time you do smile, all the smiles are broken. Why did you have to stop?"

I sat up to look at him. When did he grow up?

Why did he have to grow up?

"Listen, Mokie, I... I don't know. I really don't know this time," I hung my head in hope of not letting him see me like this. I looked over at him to see tears brimming his wide eyes. I moved to wipe them from his face before pulling him into a tight hug.

"Don't worry about me, Mokie. Everything will be okay. I promise. I don't expect you to understand why I'm so sad, but I'm going to fix it. I promise... Besides, we still haven't even finished Cleo this year. You don't want all the snow to melt before we finish her, do you? Come on," I picked my brother up once again, hoping it would distract him from the conversation that I hoped was over. Why do I always make promises that I know I can't keep... what do you do when the only person that can stop your tears is the one making you cry? I will fix it though. I promised Mokuba I would. And I have yet to break a promise to him.

"You know all the snow won't melt that quickly. Besides, I know it's going to snow more. Lots and lots more. It always does. Don't be silly, big brother," Mokuba replied with a playful role of his eyes. I looked down at him with a grin on my face before setting him back down on his own two feet.

"Hey Mokie, I was wondering if we could do something different this year," I looked over at him to see him in nod to show he was listening, "Do you think we can each build our own angels this year. I recently had some... inspiration."

"Sure big brother! But will you name her?"

"I've been thinking about the name Suki[1] for a while..."

-Next Day at School. Ryou's POV-

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get yesterday out of my mind. I've run the scene through my mind over and over again, always changing something each time. The only thing that remained constant in each fantasy was that he didn't leave. Not without me. Not so easily. But they are nothing but dreams, ne? Silly imaginings that will never come true for the past can't be changed no matter how much you may want it to. But I still don't understand why he left so easily like that. Normally, he would have put up a fight, especially when faced with an aggressive Joey. But yesterday, he just gave in. He seemed so... broken. I remember everything being a blur when he showed up out of nowhere. I remember Tristan looking at me worriedly and my heart stopping when he showed up. I remember gasping when he walked away. I remember wearing his jacket. But most of all, I remember tears. I can't remember if they were mine or his, but I remember them coming down. I hope they were mine. I wouldn't know what to do if they were his. But I don't have to worry about that. In this world, Seto doesn't cry. He's stronger than that.

Always stronger...

But in my head... Seto loves me. He will always love me. He will never leave me like everybody else has. He will always love me because that's how I choose it to be. We live for each other and nothing more. We live in my mind. That's where it's safe. Safe in my mind... in a mind where nothing exists, where everything is how I want it to be. And that's where I go when it gets too hard, in my world...

But there's also an ancient spirit living my mind, so that shows my sanity level. But like I said, dreams don't come true.

'And don't forget it, yadonushi. It's about time you came to reality."

I groaned slightly at the sound of my yami's voice in my head. I know it sounds weird, but I sometimes forget he even listens to what I think half of the time. But in my dreams,he isn't in my head. Nope. But what's the points in dreams anyways?

'Nothing.' My yami replied certainly.

Yeah, nothing. I looked up from my feet to see I was now standing in front of my locker. I stood there sullenly, a million thoughts racing through my head. Everything that had happened- the notes, the dreams, the movies, the couch, everything- came crashing upon me. The day he first talked to me like a human being, I was standing right here. In this very spot, banging my head on my locker. That sounds tempting right about now...

I hit my head against the metal, feeling the familiar dull pain in my forehead. I repeated the action, wondering why I didn't do it more often. There was something oddly calming about this...

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang- "Haven't I already told you about doing that?"

My eyes shot open at the sound of the strong voice behind me. Please tell me I'm just experiencing some type of brain damage, schizophrenia, anything. Just as long as he isn't behind me.

"Listen Ryou, I don't know whether you remember or not, but we have a project to work on..."

Why me? Why?

"...and we've partners on it for a long time and it needs to get done. But that's not why I really why I came talk to you..."

I turned my head around to see Seto looking at me expectantly, his face a slight shade of red. I looked nodded to him slightly, as if to show that I was listening.

"Ryou, I... I really need to talk to you. I... I really need you to listen to me. Please-"

"A project? I guess we should do it then, huh? I'll get my stuff..." I interrupted. Why I did it, I don't know. It just seems easier that way. I heard him let him let out an exasperated sigh behind me while I pushed the sleeves of the over sized coat up my arms so I could use my hands to open my locker. Oh no... I'm wearing his coat, aren't I? What else could go wrong? Just then, I felt tingle in the back of my throat as a sneeze echoed down the empty hall.

"Bless you," Seto replied calmly.

I groaned slightly, putting my head in my now opened locker. They say that we enjoy warmth because we have been cold, we appreciate light because we have been in darkness, we can experience joy because we have known sadness. So, in order to enjoy something, you have to go through complete hell first. What a bittersweet life we all live, ne?

I shoved everything unceremoniously into my bag before turning towards the exit, careful not to make any kind of eye contact with him. He placed his hand on the small of my back causing the familiar butterflies to pollute my stomach once again. He calmly took my bag from my hands, like always, leading me towards the door. It was almost like before, and I almost wish it was. Back then, everything was beautiful.

I wish I could see things in the same light.

[1] Suki means "beloved"... I think. If not, well poo...

Hmm, I absolutely HATE this chapter. I've written differently three separate times, hating each one of them. Then, I wrote one that was half tolerable, then before I even had the chance to push save, my sister came up and banged on the board, shutting everything down, therefore erasing everything. I was sooo mad... But I gave up and said 'Screw It' and posted this one. I plan on finishing this with like two more chapters. So I should finish this by chapter ten... I hope. (sigh) But I promise this is going somewhere! But yeah... Ryou and I seem to have the same sick-ness, so I think I need to go to bed now...

And now for a little tid-bit of wisdom to get you through the day:

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT suction cap erasers on to your face. I did it during biology and now I have three little, hickey-like bruises on my chin. It's scary because they are all like perfectly shaped circles. I didn't even leave them on there that long... Anyways, just DON'T do it. Trust me man, It's not worth it. I have eraser hickeys on my chin...