I know, I know. I'm updating a little earlier than usual but I couldn't stand that last chapter, it made me twitch. So here you go! Plus, I had today off from babysitting and the only homework I have is to study and a couple different projects that aren't due yet. So I took this opportunity. Thank you to all that reviewed! It made me so much happier!

andromeda90, (Sniff) I'm glad you're better and not having to take pills of hell anymore. (sniff) Sadly, I am now sneezing every three minutes and constantly sniffling. And I feel so unloved, no one says bless you for me either! (huggles Ryou) We have so much in common... But thank you for reviewing on that pile of crap supposedly called a chapter. (Sniff) It made me feel better... at least on the inside!)

Nannae (O.O Cookies!? I'll do anything for a really good cookie. Especially the ones that are iced so that they look like cookie monster... Is it just me, or are those somewhat cannibalistic to you too? I mean, come on, he lives off cookies, why would you turn him into a cookie... I don't know why I'm so fascinated with that... It just seems so deliciously morbid to me...)

Saffron-Stralight ( -- It was that bad, wasn't it? Sadly, it had to be done to get where we are now...(mumbles) Stupid piece o' worthless-ness chapter...)

and The Chaotic Ones (I would imagine it would work... (ponders) Yup, I'm certain it would work, but that person must really deserve a fate worst than death... or a least a pimpley, pizza face....) Thanks for reviewing on that god-awful chapter. That very well could be one of the most boring, dead things I have written... but thanks all the same!

a song for jeffrey I love that hat... I have the same one and I wear it constantly (My mum kept yelling at me for wearing it during the summer (insert naggy voice:" Take that hat off! You're going to get a heat stroke. If I see it on your head just one more time..., BUT I LOVE IT SO FRIGGIN' MUCH!) But yeah, NOOOOO don't stick the erasers to your face! Your friends will laugh at you and pile erasers on you desk the next day of school because they are eeeeeeevil and enjoy watching you suffer in pain! Eeeevil...

WolfBane2 Aww, thank you for reassuring me of my craptacular-ness. I was all down, then you reviewed! Thanks sooo much! Sorry for the lack of Ryou, but there is plenty of him here! I promise! And as for my tidbit of wisdom...O.O You don't believe me?! I will prove to you all that it is indeed dangerous when I become an eeeevil scientist and kidnap all those cute, pale Asian children and stick erasers to their cute little faces while I force them to work in my eraser/ macaroni-n-cheese factory! Mwa ha ha... and when they turn thirteen, I shall pull erasers off their pale little faces to reveal HICKEYS! Tons of purple hickeys. And than I can say, "I told you so!" Yes, that is the new plan, forget saving the world form global warming... this is so much better...ha ha ha...I shall rule the world with an iron fist! YOU, OBEY THE FIST!

Cain: O.O

Yami-loverOB1 Thank you for reviewing! It was so sweet and made me feel better about that horrible chapter! Thanks!

Blue Eyed Angel2 Oh, I am so sorry to hear about that. I hate it when that happens... grrr.... But yeah. Hee hee, gay porn from an uncle... that's great... And your computer is a he? He sounds kinda rude to have done that to you though... jerk... But yeah, enjoy your eggs! And thanks for reviewing!

Kokuryuuha-018 Are you serious? You have made my life so worth living now! (dies) I can't believe you like S/R because of this! Have you not read 'Fairydust' by Pikachumaniac? It's what really introduced me to the S/R world. (sigh) Either way, thank you sooooo much for the review. That was just unbelievably nice. (bows) Thank you so much.

treana Ah, it 'tis my paddy. Like D.T.3? But there's a difference there... D.T. IS AMAZING! That sucked... But anywho, thank you for reviewing! And all the compliments! And for not sticking erasers to your face! Trust me, it'll all be worth it in the end... (vows to never stick anything to her face again) Hey look! A Band-Aid! (sticks to face) (smiles) Thanks again!

Relinquished Wow, you're smart! How did you know all that? (looks confoozled) Thank you for reassuring me all the same! And thank you for reviewing! And for saying nice things! It's all so nice (glomps) THANK YOU!

Solar You poor, poor busy little person. I'm sorry you don't have time to relax... I can relate... Hope to see ya soon! Thanks for stopping by!

Kurama's Oni Thank yo for reviewing. AND I LOVE YOU S/R STORY! It's great! PLEASE update it. PLEASE! And thanks for letting me know about all that stuff, I will store it in my brain cabinet of stuff I won't need in the real world! THANKS AGAIN!

TeeDee The hickeys went away in like three days (smile) I learned my lesson... Thank you for reviewing though! I'm glad you liked it!

Ashuri chan HA! I'm going to go and tell my mum about that! Especially after the "Well, duh..." speech she gave me after wards. I'm not the only one to do something like that... And I think things get happier here... well for a moment at least... THANKS FOR THE REVIEW!

(sigh) but enough of my complaining! Watch out, stuff actually happens this chapter! I hated that last chapter so bad it hurts...

Disclaimer:

Cain: (sigh) I've done this for like eight chapters now. Does not own... Beware the love, the stinging words, and the bad writing... AND THE FLUFF!

Beware of the sudden change in the points of view....

Chapter 9 Torn

Ryou's Pov

The car ride over was rather uneventful. I sat as far into the corner as possible while Seto sat with a contemplative look on his face that stared endlessly at the dark tinted window. Not out of, just at. Which, in reality, doesn't really make a difference at all, but it does when it comes to Seto Kaibe. He's just not the type of person to 'waste time' simply looking at something. And he never had, with the exception of the other day... Everything seemed so.. colorless when it came to him. He never stopped to "smell the roses" as some would say. It was all a machine world of black and white...

What a cliche, ne? 'The man who lives in his own prison'. But it describes Seto so perfectly that it sometimes scares me. Scares me into believing that it's true. But then again, maybe it is... A long time ago, I told him that I would save him. But now, I don't think I can. I'm too weak to be the cure, at least when it comes to him. He needs, no, he deserves someone strong and brave and... perfect. Someone he could let in. It just hurts to know that I'm not that person.

But that doesn't stop me from sometimes wanting to be that person, even if for just a little while. It's like when your kid and you want ride the ponies at the circus or something. You know that you will never actually own the unobtainable pony, but you still beg to ride it just do you can maybe know what your missing out on. So you can see how good you could of had it if you did have that pony. How good I could have had it if I were just a little stronger, a little more perfect. Then I might have Seto...

But we all know that isn't going to happen. I mean, come on, I comparing him to a blasted pony. Oh, the advantages of being sane, how I miss thee... Reality was never as sweet as fantasy...

The sudden jerk of the limo pulled me out of all the thoughts that were sweeping through my mind, causing me to glance at Seto to see if he was any more aware to what happened than I was. "It's okay. We must of just hit a patch of ice," he assured me with a disheartened grin. I gulped nervously before nodding my head. Assuming that I was satisfied with his explanation, Seto turned back to the window to continue to stare at what I can only guess.

"R-Ryou?" I turned towards Seto to see him still staring at the window, that single word having been said slowly, as if he was unsure if himself. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded my head reluctantly, not really wanting to answer anything at the moment. "Do you remember the day when you first talked to me? Do you remember what you asked?" he questioned softly, never looking away from the window.

I sat quietly for a moment, trying to decide whether it was safe to answer or not. Of course I remember that day. I would always remember is if not for the fact that I had actually talked to the Seto Kaiba, then for the reason that I was paranoid that a secret hit-man was after me for a week following that day. That was the day I made my first true friend. "I-I... I asked 'why'," I answered unsure of myself. Just where is he going with this...

I felt the car come to a stop, but nobody moved. I continued to stare at the back of his head, waiting for whatever may come next. "I had no idea how to react to you," he mused quietly, "You just suddenly showed up and started asking questions that I refused to face myself. You just... came out of no where. And yet, you scared me. You seemed so sure of yourself at one moment, but so frail the next. But it was the moments when you would be assertive that scared me. You had me figured out. But you still asked me why. I remember everything you said. It played over and over again in my head. And I answered you. But the only problem is that I never got to ask you anything. I never got to have my one free question..." he trailed off sadly while I stared at my now twisting hands. "Is it too late to get that one question?" I tripped over my words, trying to come up with something coherent to say. I moved my eyes from my lap to see he had now turned to face me, his own hands waiting patiently in his lap. I looked up at him, almost as if I was pleading for him to help me. I pulled my hands apart from their current state of twisting around one another and numbly placed them under each of my legs in hopes of making them stop.

I looked down at my lap once again, biting my lip sharply to make my constant stutters stop. I felt a warm hand brought to my chin as it gently coaxed my gaze upward. His eyes met mine in a soft, yet melancholy gaze. He leaned closer to me, causing my breath to hitch slightly. He face was even with mine when he whispered in a mournful voice, "Why?"

Ta da! Now it's Seto's POV! See how that works? But we're still at the same part of the story! Cool, huh?

I allowed my hand to drop from his face as I swiftly got out of the car. I carried his both our bags like I always had and stood outside the door, waiting for him to also get out. It took a moment longer than I expected, but I eventually saw him emerge from the vehicle, his face a few shades whiter than usual. He stood still for a moment, arranging my coat so it sat more comfortably on his body. I felt a pang hit my heart as he looked up at me expectantly. He didn't need me to catch him this time1...

I nodded slightly before turning to bring him inside from the cold. Even if he did look perfect against the white snow, I didn't want him to get sick again. We walked up the steps, like we always had before. Except now, we weren't happy and joking. We weren't on our way to watch a movie or play games with Mokuba.

We were together because we had to be. Because we had a project to work on. Be cause he didn't have a choice. I have a feeling he wouldn't had even come if it weren't for the project. To be honest, I'm surprised he even came for that. And the worst part is that I don't even know what I did wrong. But no matter what it is, I would do anything to take it back. I would bring down the moon if it only brought my Ryou back to me. I would do it without a second thought.

Who am I kidding? That's never going to happen.

Never.

Sometimes, I wonder what happens when you fall in love with someone. Do you unintentionally give that person a part of your heart, a part of your soul. Maybe that's why it hurts so much to lose the person you love, you're losing a part of yourself...

I think too much. I shook my head like I always did when I wanted to make myself stop thinking. Luckily, it usually worked. I began to slow down, looking through the halls to decide on which room to go in. I turned to my left to see the same room we had sat in to watch 'Edward Scissorhands'2. I allowed a small smile to appear on my face as I remembered how much Ryou seemed to like that room. Having made my decision, I turned sharply, obviously catching Ryou off-guard as he stumbled to make sure he was on the same track as I was. I calmly put our bags on the floor next to the door, then stood still, waiting for Ryou to come in.

He stood in the doorway, throughly entranced with what in front of him. At least I could do something right...

"We can work in here, unless you don't want to. If not, we can work somewhere else," I spoke up, praying that he would want to stay here. There was something comforting about the familiarity that it had.

"Oh, no, this is fine," he replied hastily, his voice soft. I nodded to him, showing him into the room. Just as soon as he was in the door, he rushed over to the largest chair and jumped into it, letting a small squeal escape his lips. He was happy, truly happy. I felt a smile on my lips, but didn't bother to try and hide it this time. I was able to do something that made him happy... I kept my gaze on him as he giggled slightly as he put his head against the side of the large couch. I felt a small laugh leave my lips, unfortunately bringing him back to reality.

His face became stained a seep red as he smiled sheepishly at his embarrassing outburst. "I really like this chair," he answered, obviously embarrassed.

"I could tell," I replied throughly amused. "Mokuba really seems to like it too."

He grinned once again before the saddened look reappeared on his face. "We should maybe get to work," I offered, rather disappointed that the good mood had disappeared that quickly.

"Yeah, I guess we should..." his hands were twisting underneath the long sleeves of the jacket again. I sighed, turning around to get my laptop from my briefcase. When I turned back around, Ryou had made his way to the floor and was sitting cross-legged with the jacket spread around him once again. He half-heartedly grinned up to me, answering my unspoken question,"It'll be easier to work from down here."

I nodded in return, making my way over to sit beside him. We sat in silence while I started my laptop up, the only sounds that could be heard were the distant sounds of Mokuba's television and the occasional sniff from Ryou. As soon as everything was up, I got to work on opening everything we would need. "Here, you can look through this if you want. There might something in there we could use," I said, handing him a large book that covered his entire lap when opened. He nodded in response, continuing the dreadful silence. I sat rigidly, typing carelessly. The minutes passed by slowly, making the silence in the air even more unbearable. I risked a glance at Ryou to see him tugging at the sleeves of my jacket, his eyes darting between the book and in my direction. I really couldn't take the silence anymore. Especially when there where things that I needed to say. I had to say it while I still had the chance.

"I don't understand you..."

Ryou's POV (I know it's a weird place to change, but I had to do it...)

I was a little taken back by my sudden outburst, but I couldn't take it any longer. I looked up at Seto to look into his blue eyes that were clouded with confusion.

"There's not much to understand. I'm just like before," he replied slowly. What does he mean 'just like before'? I cocked my head to the side, making my confusion clear.

"Those few weeks we were together, I was no longer that cold machine. You gave me a heart. But then you just stopped... stopped everything... I guess some people aren't meant to be in your life, no matter how much you want them to be... It's just that it still hurts all the same..." he answered slowly, almost as if he was unsure of what he was saying. I felt tears threaten my eyes, but refused to let them spill, especially when I didn't even know what I was crying over.

But he seems so sad... And I think it's my fault. I don't want to be the one to cause him any kind of grievance. He saved me, he really did. I was no longer 'Hey you, yeah, Yugi's friend...' No, I was Ryou. I was Ryou on the first day, no questions asked. The tears came closer and closer to spilling despite the fact I gave everything I had to try and make them not. I felt the similar feeling in my stomach as he touched my chin to bring my face to look up at his once again.

"I...I-"

"Look Ryou, I'm sorry for I did, whatever it was. As long as it brings you back to me. I don't know know what you do to me, but it's good, whatever it is. Please, if you won't forgive me, tell me what I did wrong. I can't live without knowing how I managed to screw up everything in my life. Maybe then... I might be able to fix it...I just want to get you back..." his hand still rested against my face while I continued to battle the onslaught of tears that soon found their way down my cheek. I leaned my head down, removing his hand from my face. It was so cold with out it there... I sat still, crying to myself for a moment before (without thinking) I flung myself into his chest, sobbing. I felt him go stiff for a moment from my weight on top of him before his arms wrapped around me tightly. I cried softly while he whispered little nothings into my ear. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Wonderful, peaceful hours. And I felt calm. For the first time in days, I felt calm. And yet, it was thoughts like this that made me cry harder. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what's most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to tell them. I can't tell him. Like I said, I'm too weak to be the cure...

I reluctantly lifted my head to bring my face level with his. After wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked at Seto to see a single tear run down his cheek. Why he was crying, I don't know. After all, I'm the nervous breakdown waiting to happen. I took the end of my sleeve, pulling it over the end of my hand and leaned up to gently wipe the solitary tear from his face. But before I could pull my hand away from his face, he placed his own hand over mine, keeping it in place. Then in a swift motion, he gently removed the jacket from my body, pulling it around the his back and wrapping it around both of us.

Together.

I felt myself laugh slightly through the small remainder of tears. He returned my laughter with a warm smile before leaning forward slightly so that our foreheads touched. I felt myself completely stop breathing. Every rare breath that did come was shallow and raspy, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He brought his hand up in the similar fashion to touch the end of my nose, despite the fact our noses were nearly touching.

"You never answer my question," he whispered softly, as if to not ruin the silence.

"It... it was nothing..." I answered in the same tone of voice, shaking my head slightly. A slight frown appeared on his face, causing a small wrinkle in his skin to show on his forehead.

"It must have been something. Why won't you tell me?"

"I-I don't know..."

"Is it that you don't know... Or just don't want to say?" he replied slowly. Why does that sound so familiar?

"What is it that's got you this upset?"

"I-I can't say..."

"Is it that you don't know, or you don't want to say?"3

I leaned back slightly, trying to get a better look at his face. "W-what did you say?" He looked back at me confused before closing his eyes while sighing.

"Never mind... I shouldn't have said anything..." he was now looking out the door, the frown still in place.

"Do you care about me?"

"W-what?"

"Do you care about me?" I repeated in a stubborn voice. He looked down at me, taken back by my question. I don't see why, it's a reasonable enough question...

'No it's not...'

Well, no one asked him anyways... I felt myself grow impatient and began to get twitchy, sure signs of one of my 'overreacting fits' as my Yami calls them. And before anyone even dares to say anything, no, I'm not overreacting. It's a reasonable question with a reasonable purpose.

'Just like storming out because of a little 'Bless You' wasn't. Yeah, that's not overreacting...'

I frowned even deeper, choosing to ignore him. I moved my gaze to Seto who was currently tripping over his own words. Wow, what a sight.

"Of course I care about you... I lo-... I couldn't lie without you! What are you talking about?" his voice sounded urgent and, well, hurt.

"You care... That's what I thought... This... I can't do this... I can't do it..." I felt more tears come as I began to move away from him. Before I was out of reach, he reached his hand out to wipe the newly fallen tear away, but I stopped him before he could reach my face. "This can't happen... It can't... I'm so sorry..." I leaned over and gently kissed the end of his nose before turning to leave. I grabbed my bag that still lied near the door and walked, well ran, to where I hoped the door was.

'You know what yadonushi? You have got to be the greatest fool ever. Even worst than the pharaoh. You do know that you're overreacting, right? And don't you dare try to ignore me. You know that resistance is futile. I can go on like this for hours because, unlike you, I don't need to sleep...and you know what else? I've got nothing better to do with my time...'

I growled slightly, really, truly trying to ignore him. Believe it or not, it's really not as easy as some would think... I exited the the large front doors, shivering as the cold air whipped across me, stinging my skin. Oh well, I could go without a coat... It wasn't that cold. It was only snowing... Why do I always lie to myself...

"... and you're pretty much walking out on quite possibly the greatest thing you'll ever come in contact. As long as you know. And don't come crying to me when the whole world is tumbling down because all I'm going to say is 'told you so..' Life's a bitch like that, ne? Why don't you just stop lying to yourself?...'

Like I said, how I miss the advantages of being sane...

Mokuba's POV (That's a new one, no?)

I ran through the halls- wait no, I wasn't running. Seto would get on to me for running... I scurried through the halls, looking for Seto4. I know he's home... Maybe he'll want to go outside and play in the snow again! And we could build friends for Cleo and... what's her name? Oh yeah, Suki. And maybe I can name mine Kaysa!

I continued my scurrying through the halls until I came to my favorite room. Inside, Seto was sitting completely still, his face very white. "Hey big brother! You found your jacket? Where was it? Do you want to go outside?" I asked while flopping- Wait, no, I sat on on the chair. I waited a few minutes, but he didn't answer. He just sat there...

"Seto?" I asked uncertainly, standing in front of him.

"He didn't stay... he wouldn't say why... just left..." he muttered softly, his eyes unfocused.

"Who didn't stay, big brother?"

"...him..."

I don't think we're going to go outside today...

1 uhh, y'know, where Ryou would always fall getting outta the car and Seto would catch him? Just so there's no confusion...

2 The room with the "Big Comfy Couch". Remember? Good...

3 from "Counting Crows" chapter... when Ryou is talking to Tristan...

4 I don't know where this came from... I feel like I've read it somewhere, but when I checked where I thought I did, it wasn't there. I don't know if it came from me, but I have this weird feeling that it didn't. Either way, to be safe, I'm just going to say that I didn't think it up, okay? My brain's too mushy to tell right now...

There, I'm done for now.

Is it good? No.

Is it better than last chapter? A pile of dog poo is better than that last chapter. So yeah...

I think I may have set a record for dragging something out, but hey, whatever. I think the next chapter will be the last one... I think... It should be... I dunno. Sorry for the craptacular-ness of it all...

Well, like I said, that is it for now for I have a geography test tomorrow and I honestly couldn't label a map of Europe if my life depended on it(shoot, I'm so bad a geography that I'm lucky that I can even find my way through my own house without even getting lost... Cain: Sad, but true...), so I must go and study my little brain out. The capitol of Greece is Athens. The capitol of Russia is Moscow...