8/23/04
GOD IS LOVE
Chapter 3
Arriving back at the Galactica, Lee assumed that Laura would want to return to her own room and sleep, but she seemed to have perked up during the short flight back. Instead, she chose to follow him through the halls, to his quarters. It was late enough that they encountered very few people in the corridors and they were not observed entering Lee's room. As soon as the door was closed behind them, she made her move, pressing herself against him and kissing him deeply.
Caught by surprise, he stumbled back against the wall. He felt her hands fumbling with the buckle of his sidearm belt. Sliding her hand down his right thigh, she undid the strap which secured the weapon there. Once she had the belt free from him, she moved to toss it aside, but Lee pulled from her kiss and caught hold of the belt.
"Uh, let's be a little more careful with that," he said mildly, moving to place it on his desk. "It's loaded."
"Sorry," she said softly, before reaching for the zipper of his flight suit.
"Laura, what are you doing?" he said, with a chuckle, catching hold of her hands. "Shouldn't you be resting?"
"I'm not tired anymore and I'm feeling much better." Sliding a hand up to grasp the back of his head, she pulled him into another kiss.
"Mmm, you are feeling better," Lee said, several minutes later.
She gave him a seductive smile and unzipped his flight suit. Pushing it off his shoulders, she began kissing him again, while he kicked off his boots and stepped out of the suit. He was left wearing only the two regulation tank tops and a pair of close-fitting boxer briefs. Taking his hand she started to pull him toward the bed, but he didn't move. She turned back to face him.
"Laura, are you sure you're up to this?" he asked. "I don't want to rush you into anything."
"Who's rushing whom here? Lee, I'm not made of glass. I won't break if handled a little roughly. I might even enjoy it. I feel fine... Are you up to this?"
In answer to her challenge, he bent down, hooked one arm under her knees, placed the other on her back and scooped her off her feet. Carrying her the few steps to the bed, he gently deposited her there and climbed in beside her.
"Well, I guess you are," she whispered.
100101001100001111000001010011001000011000111
Lee was walking through the corridor, talking with one of his pilots, Alice "Mara" York. Lt. York had recently learned that she was pregnant. She had been removed from the flight rotation and she and Lee were discussing other duties she could perform while grounded. He was so engrossed in this conversation that he didn't notice his father approach, until the other man had stepped in front of him and addressed him.
"Capt. Apollo, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but may I have a word with you, when you and the lieutenant are finished?" Adama asked.
"Uh, of course sir," Lee answered. This was the first meeting of the two men since their argument two days ago.
"Well, actually sir, I think we've covered everything, for now anyway," Lt. York spoke up. "I can get started on those Viper maintenance reports right now. That should keep me busy for a couple of days, as least."
"Alright, let me know when you finish with that and we'll find something else for you to do."
"Yes sir." Saluting both of her superiors, York headed off towards the hangar deck.
"Sir?" Lee said expectantly, turning to his father.
"Let's take this to my office. We'll have more privacy there," Adama suggested.
The captain gestured for the older man to lead the way. Great, he thought with a sigh, if this is going to be a conversation that requires privacy, I'm not sure I want to have it. Arriving at his father's quarters, they stepped inside. Adama took a seat on the long couch and gestured for Lee to do the same. Reluctantly, the younger man sat down on the couch opposite. The two men sat watching each other warily for a few minutes.
"I happened to be looking at the shuttle flight logs this morning and I saw that you and the president made a trip to The Bird of Paradise yesterday," Adama began.
'Happened' to be looking at the shuttle logs? Lee thought to himself. Since when does the commander peruse the shuttle logs? Doesn't he have more important things to do?
"Uh, yes sir, we did," he said out loud, waiting for his father's next comment, which he felt certain would have something to do with the inappropriateness of the CAG playing shuttle pilot for the president. He was surprised when that comment didn't come.
"Did you meet with Enoch?" Adama asked instead.
"Yes, we did."
"And? What was he like?"
"Didn't the president give you a report about her first meeting with him?"
"Yes, she did. Now, I'm asking for your impression."
"... He was intelligent, open, honest... likeable."
"Likable..." Adama repeated, musingly. "Did you speak with him much?"
"Yes, we had a rather long conversation."
"About?"
"His beliefs, his visions..."
"And...?"
Lee repeated what he could remember of the complicated theology that Enoch had outlined for him. He left out the part where the prophet had claimed that Lee would lead the fleet to Earth. He wasn't sure why he omitted this information, but as it turned out, it didn't matter. Adama figured it out himself.
"I suppose that 'the prophet' told you that you would assume the modern role of Noah and would lead the people to Earth?" he asked.
"Yes, he did. How did you know?" Lee asked.
"Because that's how these kinds of cult leaders operate. They draw people in by promising them that they will play a vital role in their upcoming plan or, in this case, prophecy," Adama said scornfully. "They deliberately target those they believe are unsure of themselves and their place in the world. People with feelings of inferiority..." He let his voice trail off as he realized how Lee must be interpreting these words. "Lee, I didn't mean to imply that you were any of those things, only th-."
"Didn't you?" Lee interrupted harshly.
"Lee, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded... We're all vulnerable right now, any one of us could be open to manipulation, but yes, I do think the man is deliberately targeting you."
"And why is that? Because I'm weak and vulnerable?"
"No, I believe he wants to use you, to get at me."
"Ah, of course," Lee said, he voice dripping with sarcasm, "because no one could possibly show an interest in me or my abilities, could they? No, of course not, because I exist solely as an extension of you!"
"That's not what I meant. Damn it, Lee, stop twisting my words!"
"Fine, what is it that you're trying to say?"
"... Just be careful. Our strained relationship plays into his hands and it does make you vulnerable to his manipulations. Please, don't trust this man. He has his own agenda and until we figure out what it is..."
"His 'agenda' is to find Earth. I thought that was yours as well. Why aren't the two of you working together to achieve this common goal?"
"That's a very good question. Why don't you ask him that? He's the one who has done nothing but attack me. And I have done nothing to provoke these attacks on my character."
"No, but you haven't exactly been defending yourself either. Why is that?"
"I shouldn't have to defend myself."
"That's not really an answer." Lee sat for a long moment, staring at his father, before he said softly, "Answer this for me and I'll believe everything else you have to say. Do you really know where Earth is?"
Adama stood abruptly and walked to his desk. He stood in front of it, his back to the younger man. He couldn't admit the truth to Lee, but he couldn't look his son in the eyes and lie to him either.
"I'm not going to answer that question," he said softly, resolutely keeping his back to Lee. "You have no right to question me about that. Now, this conversation is over. You're dismissed, Captain."
The young pilot rose to his feet, but stood for a moment staring at his father's broad back. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he said softly, turning to leave, the clear disappointment in his voice like a slap to Adama's face.
Hearing the hatch door close behind him, Adama let his shoulders sag as he leaned heavily onto the desk. Damn, he had completely botched that conversation. He had intended to warn Lee against placing any trust in Enoch and instead, he had confirmed the man's accusations. Lee will probably never trust me again, Adama thought numbly. And that also plays right into Enoch's hands...
Out in the corridor, Lee leaned back against the bulkhead wall and tried to figure out how, yet again, he had allowed his temper to ruin a perfectly reasonable conversation with his father. He was always very defensive around his father, but in this instance, he truly didn't know why. Why had he so vehemently defended Enoch? He had had many of the same reservations about the man as his father, so why defend the priest now? Lee recognized that it was because Enoch's 'healing thing' with Laura did seem to have made a difference. Lee and Laura had had great sex for the first time in months and Lee had felt somehow indebted to the priest for that. But that was hardly an adequate justification for the hateful things he had just said to his father.
Lee rubbed his temple. He was so confused right now. He didn't really know how he felt about the priest. Every logical thought in his head told him that the man's story was ludicrous. And yet, somehow, the man had a way of making you feel like anything was possible.
Giving his head a slight shake, as though to clear out all these contradictory thoughts, he started down the hallway again. He and Laura were going back to The Paradise to see the priest again. Laura was going to have another healing session with him. Lee would question Enoch more directly then.
010011101101000100011110000101101010101010011
The second healing session had progressed very much the same as the first one. Again, Lee had watched as Enoch ran his hands above Laura's body. And afterwards, she had slept. While she did, the priest had again taken Lee out to the main part of the suite and they had drunk tea and talked about Laura's prognosis. Enoch had claimed that he was already sensing improvement. Her body seemed to be healing itself quite nicely.
Once again, none of the other believers were present in the suite. This time, not even Maeve was there. As the two men sat drinking their tea, Lee began to feel incredibly sleepy. After only an hour or so, he found that he was having difficulty even keeping his eyes open.
Noticing this, Enoch said, "Lee, why don't you lie down on the couch and rest as well. Laura will probably sleep for another hour, at least."
"No, no, I should-."
"Nonsense, you can barely stay awake. How will you fly your shuttle back if you can't keep your eyes open?"
Realizing that the other man had a point, Lee allowed the priest to lead him to the long couch where they had talked before and he lay down. He was too tired to feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about sleeping in a strange place or to wonder what Enoch would be doing while he slept. In fact, he was deeply asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow of the couch...
Images flashed before his sleeping mind's eye. He saw a barren, blighted landscape. He saw mile after mile of withered, dead crops, the bloated corpses of animals and even some humans. He saw people scrabbling in the dusty, parched soil, trying to salvage any edible, growing thing they could find. He saw mothers cradling dead or dying babies, groups of people begging for food, and finally, large bands of people attacking each other, ripping each other apart in frenzied desperation...
The disturbing images faded, to be replaced by stars sliding silently, calmly through his field of vision. It was as if he was flying through space, but without his Viper, without his body. He saw planets and moons and distant solar systems glide past him, most of which looked familiar. He was seeing a quadrant of space that they had already explored and which Adama had rejected for their course.
Abruptly Lee felt a sharp stab of white-hot pain, as if his head was going to explode. Into his mind flashed an image so intensely vivid, it seemed to burn itself into the synopses of his brain. He awoke with a moan, sitting up to clutch at his head, checking to make sure that it hadn't actually been split in two. He found that an area on his left temple was quite tender to the touch and felt slightly swollen, as though he had been struck there.
"Lee, are you alright?"
He turned to find Enoch kneeling beside the couch, watching him anxiously. The pain in his head was beginning to fade, but the image was still clearly etched in his mind. He took a deep, shaking breath before answering the priest.
"Yeah, I think so," he said weakly. "I just had the weirdest dream."
"Tell me," Enoch urged.
"I saw people dying, starving to death. Then they were killing each other, ripping each other apart... Then I saw stars, like I was flying through space. I saw the quadrant that we just explored a few weeks ago. Then I saw a star chart. I still see it. It's like someone has drawn it directly into my brain..." Lee let his voice trail off as he lowered his still slightly aching head into his hands.
"A star chart? A chart of what?"
"I don't know," Lee whispered. "There was a solar system with seven planets. The seventh one was a blue-green, M-class..."
"Draw it for me, please."
The priest stood hastily and went to fetch some paper and a pen. When he returned, he handed the items to the younger man and Lee quickly sketched out a crude version of the star chart that had been burned into his mind.
"Earth," Enoch said firmly, examining the drawing.
The pilot looked up at the priest. "How do you know it's Earth?" he asked.
"Because it's obvious that God has given you this revelation. He has shown you the same solar system that He showed to me, but you understand the star chart. He has proven that you are the one to lead us. It is a miracle, Lee!" Enoch said, grasping the younger man's shoulders, smiling broadly.
Lee returned the smile weakly. He wanted to share the priest's enthusiasm, but he kept hearing his father's voice, warning him to be cautious. "A miracle, Enoch? I don't know..."
The smile evaporated from the other man's face. "You've been talking to your father, haven't you?"
"Well, yes..."
Enoch sighed heavily. "He is trying to manipulate you, trying to prevent you from assuming your rightful role."
"Actually, he told me that you would try to manipulate me."
"Yes, he would say that, wouldn't he? He is false. You have just been shown proof that he was lying about knowing where Earth is. God has shown you that. You must not trust him."
"Maybe he doesn't realize his information is wrong. Maybe if you talked to him. I can't just accept what you're saying. He is my father."
"Yes and look at what he did to your brother..."
Lee's eyes narrowed at those words. "What do you know about my brother?"
"I know that he didn't die in the Cylon attacks. He died in a Viper accident. Wasn't that how it was? I have many followers, a few even from the Galactica. They told me about your brother."
"Yes," Lee whispered.
"Yes. Your father pushed you and your brother into the service and then into the Vipers. He sacrificed your futures to feed the glory of his own reputation and your brother paid the price of that sacrifice."
"Yes," Lee whispered again. He felt the anger rise white-hot and stifling in his chest. He hadn't felt the anger like this in almost three years. With the destruction of the Colonies, he had let it go, as he had let go of his grief for Zac. There was too much newer grief to deal with. But now he felt it flare to life again, as potent and blinding as it had been on the day of Zac's funeral. He felt his hands shake with the renewed rage.
"Can a man who would gamble so cavalierly with the lives of his own sons be trusted to lead a convoy of civilians to safety? It's true that he may not even realize that he is leading us toward disaster, but do you believe that he would admit to anyone that he didn't truly know what he was doing?"
"No," Lee whispered.
"No, he wouldn't. He would rather see us all dead than admit that he could be wrong. At best, his behavior is negligent in the extreme. At worst... he is willfully leading us to our destruction. Is this really the man you wish to follow?"
Lee didn't answer, he looked away. His head was beginning to throb painfully. He couldn't seem to think straight. He was trying to examine his father's motives objectively, but memories from the past kept creeping in to cloud his judgment. He remembered his father's many long and painful absences, his consistent, unshakeable devotion to career and duty, which often took a higher priority than his devotion to his family. Lee remembered a lifetime of broken promises and disappointments... But he also remembered that his father was an excellent, natural leader. Despite the death and destruction that surrounded him, which would have crippled a weaker man, Adama had not only held himself together, but had held the entire fleet together as well, often through the sheer force of his will alone...
His head pounding fiercely now, Lee leaned over and rubbed at his temples, mindful of the still-tender left side. He couldn't seem to put his chaotic thoughts in order. As he sat, tugging slightly at his close-cropped hair, he was startled by a hand touching his shoulder. Reflexively, he pushed the hand away and looked up into Laura's startled and slightly hurt, brown eyes.
"Oh, Laura, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you," he said softly.
She knelt down in front of him and took his hands in hers. "What's wrong?" she asked soflty. "You looked almost frantic. What have you two been talking about?" She threw a slightly reproachful look at Enoch.
"It's nothing," Lee said quickly. "I should get you back to the Galactica."
He stood, then helped the president to her feet as well. They both turned to face the priest, who had also risen. "I don't suppose it would do any good to offer to let you stay here for the night?" Enoch asked.
"No," Lee answered firmly. "We have to go and I... have to think."
"Yes, you do. Let me know what decision you come to. And if you need someone to talk to, I am always here."
"Thank you," the younger man said softly, as he ushered Laura out of the room.
"What were you two discussing that was so serious?" she asked later, once they were alone in the shuttle and heading back to the Galactica. "You still seem tense."
"It's nothing," Lee insisted. "I don't want to talk about it."
He didn't know why he was so reluctant to talk about the disturbing conversation with Enoch. Normally he valued Laura's input on problems which had him stumped. Her calm, compassionate mind could often see issues and solutions which had eluded him. Her insight was especially helpful when it came to dealing with his pilots on a personal basis. The technical aspects of being CAG he could handle on his own, but considering that he was not much older than most of the pilots, and was even a few years younger than some, it made some of the more personal issues rather awkward. Laura had much more experience playing the diplomat and the manager and he had found her gentle advice invaluable over the past few months.
So, why was he shutting her out now, when he was feeling more confused and anxious than he ever had in his life? He knew that a large part of this was simply because this time the issue was his father. It wasn't that he didn't trust Laura's judgment when it came to his father. It was more that he didn't trust his own.
He and Laura had never really discussed his relationship with the elder Adama much. She knew that the relationship was strained, but hell, everyone on the Galactica knew that. Lee had ensured that himself with his less than cordial remarks to both Tyrol and his father upon his arrival for the decommissioning ceremony. Of course, at the time, he hadn't realized that his visit would become permanent. But now that it had, he was stuck constantly trying to make up for those earlier lapses in courtesy.
He wasn't sure if it was pride or embarrassment... or fear, but he didn't want Laura to know just how dysfunctional his relationship with his father was. And he certainly didn't want her to know just how angry he currently was at his father because, frankly, on some level, the sudden intensity of that anger frightened even him.
When they arrived back at the Galactica, Lee tactfully told Laura that he was exhausted and needed sleep and to be alone. She seemed disappointed, but accepted this. She gave him a quick kiss good night and returned to her own room, while he went to his.
He hadn't been lying about being exhausted, but tired as he was, sleep never came. His head was still throbbing mercilessly and the pain relievers he had taken seemed to have very little effect. He lay awake all night, his thoughts replaying the conversation with Enoch, the anger with his father continuing to slowly simmer, just below his consciousness.
Several sleepless hours later, when his alarm went off, he was in a truly foul temper. His head was still pounding and he felt slightly nauseous. The rest of his day followed along similar lines. He was irritable and short tempered with everyone. His duty shift could not have ended soon enough. When it finally did, he immediately retreated back to his bed, where once again, sleep eluded him.
By his third day, with little or no sleep and the almost constant headache, Lee's mood was verging on homicidal. Since his last visit to The Paradise, he had done everything humanly possible to avoid his father, worried that with his temper simmering so close to the surface, he might say something truly unforgivable. But today, he had two inexperienced pilots out on patrol together and he felt that he needed to be in CIC monitoring at least part of that patrol. He had checked the bridge duty roster and had seen that, unfortunately, his father would be in CIC during that time.
Entering the Galactica's central information center, a few minutes after the two pilots had launched, Lee tried to be inconspicuous as he sidled over to Petty Officer Dualla's workstation, to eavesdrop on her interaction with the pilots. She acknowledged his presence with a slight nod in his direction, while continuing with her job. Feeling eyes upon him, he looked over to see that his father was watching him intently. Lee quickly dropped his gaze back to the Petty Officer. Even that brief moment of eye contact with his father had been enough to bring his simmering rage to a quick boil.
Closing his eyes for a moment and clenching his teeth tightly, Lee took several deep breaths, forcing himself to calm. Even as he felt the anger rise inside of him, he felt something else shrink back from it in horror. Although it was a part of him, born of his emotions, on some level it seemed an alien thing, bent on consuming his very soul. He felt that he was only just barely able to contain and control it. He was afraid that if he relaxed his guard, even for a moment, it would gain the upper hand.
"Lee, are you alright?"
Feeling the sudden weight of a hand on his shoulder, he opened his eyes and looked over to find his father standing close beside him. He hadn't even heard the older man approach. Reacting as if he'd been stung, Lee flinched and slapped his father's hand away. "Don't touch me!" he snarled.
A profound silence fell over the CIC and all eyes turned toward the father and son. Adama stood, stunned, his expression shocked and concerned. Lee was actually shaking with his rage. Realizing that he needed to leave before he said something he would regret, he abandoned his two rookie pilots to their fates and pushed roughly past his father. He felt Col. Tigh's narrowed eyes follow him as he strode out of the bridge.
Tigh glanced around at the collectively stunned faces of the bridge crew. "Alright, show's over, get back to work!" he growled.
"What the hell was that all about?" he asked Adama softly as the other man came to stand beside him. "What did you do to piss him off now?"
"I have no idea," Adama answered.
1010100111010100011010100001000111100010101
Lee sat at his desk in his quarters, leaning on his elbows, his aching head cradled in his hands. He felt numb and empty. He wanted to crawl off and hide in some dark corner and sleep for a week, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw his brother's face, heard Zac's laugh, and he wanted to scream. Somewhere, deep in that still-lucid part of his mind, he knew that his anger was irrational, but rational thinking seemed to have been pushed aside by raw emotions that he was rapidly losing control of.
Vaguely, as if he was hearing it from a distance, he was aware of the sound of someone knocking on the door to his quarters. He ignored it. He didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment. But the person on the other side of the door evidently had ideas of their own. He was aware of the door opening and someone entering the room to stand in front of his desk. He didn't bother to look up. He knew who it would be.
"What the hell's going on, Lee?" he heard Kara demand testily. "You were supposed to meet with Tyrol 45 minutes ago on the hangar deck."
"Oh, frak!" he groaned softly. He had completely forgotten about that.
"And what's this I hear about you causing a scene up in CIC?"
"Who told you that, my father?" he asked sharply, finally looking up.
"Damn, Lee, you look like shit," Kara said, ignoring his question. "Why don't you go to the Life Station? I'll tell Tyrol that you're sick."
"I'm fine and I don't need you to make excuses for me!" Lee snapped.
"I'm just trying to help, Lee."
"I don't need your help!"
"Fine, have it your way!" she said as she turned and left the room.
Returning to his brooding contemplation of his desktop, Lee sat for another ten minutes, or perhaps an hour, he wasn't sure. Time seemed to be slipping away from him. There was another knock on his door. This one was more tentative than Kara's. Again, he tried to ignore it, but again, he was denied. He looked up to see Laura slowly step into the room. She looked hesitant, unsure, and... a little fearful? Was she afraid of him? That thought cut through the chaos in his brain like a razor. He made a conscious effort to soften his expression as she came to stand beside his chair.
"Are you alright?" she asked. "I just spoke with Starbuck and she seemed concerned about you."
"I'm fine," he said softly.
"I heard about what happened in CIC this morning."
Great, it was all over the ship already, he thought sourly.
"Lee, I want you to take these," Laura said, holding her hand out to him. In her palm, lay two small, round, pale blue tablets.
"What are they?" he asked.
"They're tranquillizers. They're pretty strong. Dr. Soter gave them to me several months ago, but I haven't needed them for the past few weeks..."
When he didn't respond, she went to the small bathroom and returned a moment later with a cup of water. She held them both out to him. "Please Lee...," she whispered.
Looking up at her, he saw that the fear was, thankfully, gone from her eyes. But remembering it and thinking that he never wanted to see it again, he accepted the cup and the tranquillizers. Popping the tablets into his mouth, he chased them down with a swallow of water. Laura extended her hand to him and when he stood and accepted it, she led him to the bed. She helped him undress and once he had climbed in, she pulled the blankets up to tuck him in. Leaning down, she kissed his forehead. She could feel the heat from his skin radiate up through her lips.
"You're running a fever," she observed softly, but sleep was already claiming him and she doubted that he had heard her.
She had planned to check in on him later, she would check his fever again then. She quietly left the room to go in search of Kara, to let the younger woman know that she would need to temporarily cover Lee's duties. Laura glanced back at the bed before she slipped out the door. He was already sleeping soundly...
Lee found himself walking through the halls of the Galactica. They were deserted. There was not another, single living soul on board the ship. He didn't know how long he had been wandering through the maze of corridors, but so far, he had seen no one else. He knew that for some reason this should alarm him, but it didn't. It had been so long since he had been alone, completely alone, without the knowledge that there was another person just scant meters away at all times, that he found himself reveling in this solitude.
As he walked, he gradually became aware of a voice calling his name. It was very faint, but it was familiar. He knew that voice, knew it as well as his own. He quickened his pace, glancing randomly into rooms as he passed them.
"Zac! Where are you?" he called out.
"Lee, help me!" the voice repeated, slightly louder this time.
Looking around him, Lee realized that he had no idea what part of the ship he was in. Suddenly all the corridors looked the same. For all he knew he was going in circles. He could feel panic beginning to edge into his thoughts, quickening his heart rate and making him break out in a cold sweat. He had to get to his brother. Zac had sounded scared, possibly hurt, but where was he?!
"Zac, talk to me!" he called out.
"I'm over here! Please, Lee, hurry!"
The voice had sounded close that time. Turning in the direction he thought it had come from, Lee broke into a run. The corridor ended abruptly with a closed hatch door. Turning the wheel lock to unseal the door, he pulled it open and stepped through.
He found himself standing on one of the Galactica's flight decks. Across from him, lay the crumpled, burnt-out remains of a Viper. For some reason, his mind took note of the tail number, N7242C. Beside the crippled ship, was the broken, bloody body of Zac. The young man was feebly trying to crawl away from the wreckage. With a gasp, Lee sprinted across the deck to drop down at his brother's side.
Zac turned to look at him. His face was streaked with blood and his lips were cracked and peeling. "I knew you'd come," he whispered. "I knew you'd save me."
Lee felt his stomach clench at those words. He hadn't come in time. Looking at the horribly broken body before him, he knew there was very little chance of survival. When Zac weakly groped out with one bloody hand, Lee grasped it gently, too afraid to touch any other body part for fear of doing more damage.
"Lee, promise me that you won't tell Dad that I messed up. I don't want to disappoint him."
"Sshh, it's okay. Don't worry about Dad."
As though conjured by their very words, Lee became aware of a shadow falling over the two brothers and he glanced up to see his father standing over them. Dressed in his severe black uniform and with his scarred face stern and impassive, he looked like some ancient god of death come to judge the worthiness of the dying one. Lee felt himself shrink back involuntarily from the disturbing image.
"Get him up. He has to finish his flight test," the elder Adama ordered in that ever so deceptively soft voice of his.
"Dad, look at him, he's hurt!" Lee cried out.
"That's no excuse. We all deal with injuries. How a man responds to adversity is a mark of his true worth. Now, I will not have either of you making me look bad. Get him up."
"Dad, he can't do it. He's not strong enough! Can't you see that? Isn't it enough that I did what you wanted, that I followed in your footsteps? Can't you just leave Zac alone?"
"I said, get him up."
"No...," Lee whispered in growing horror.
"It's okay, Lee, I can do it," Zac said weakly. "Just help me to stand up."
Watching his brother struggling pathetically to drag himself to a sitting position, Lee felt an anger rise inside of him unlike anything he had ever felt before. He turned eyes blazing with icy blue fire on his father.
"Get him up," Adama repeated forcefully.
"No," Lee said, rising to his feet to face his father defiantly.
"You're disobeying a direct order, Captain?"
"I will not let you kill him to satisfy your own ego!"
With those words, Lee launched himself at his father, knocking the older man to the floor. They were fairly evenly matched in height and, although Adama outweighed his son, Lee had the distinct advantages of youth and superior strength. He quickly had his father pinned to the deck, straddling his chest. Without a conscious thought guiding him, he found his hands wrapping around his father's throat and squeezing mercilessly. Something deep within him sang in joy at the feeling...
Lee awoke with a gasp, sitting up in bed, his heart pounding, his body trembling. Almost immediately he felt the bile rise in the back of his throat and he quickly stumbled out of the bed to the tiny bathroom. He spent the next few minutes completely emptying the contents of his stomach, which wasn't much, considering that he had barely eaten for the past three days, and he was quickly reduced to painful, body-convulsing, dry heaves. When the spasms in his stomach finally relented, he lay down on the bathroom floor, curling into a fetal position, enjoying the feel of the cold metal against his fevered skin.
Oh, God, what's happening to me? he thought in desperation. Both Kara and Laura had told him to go to the Life Station, but he knew that if he told the Galactica's doctors about his dream and his thoughts of late, they would find some nice, padded, little room to lock him away forever. He would never see the inside of a Viper again and that was unacceptable.
But am I insane? he asked himself. Enoch said that his father was false, that his earlier dream was proof of that. Was this new dream also a revelation from God pointing to his father's falseness? Lee's head was still pounding hard enough to make thinking clearly difficult. He needed to talk to someone, to tell them about the dream, to unburden his thoughts. But there was no one on the Galactica who would listen to him objectively and not immediately take his father's side. He feared that that included Laura.
He needed to talk to someone neutral, someone who wouldn't judge him. The only person he could think of was Enoch. Everything seemed so much simpler when he was with the priest. Even if Lee didn't completely understand all of Enoch's theology, he could still take strength from the priest's own convictions. He needed to talk to the prophet.
Climbing slowly to his feet, he stood swaying for a moment, waiting for the small room to stop spinning. Taking a moment to rinse the foul taste from his mouth, he quickly pulled on his flight suit and boots. Unlocking the bottom drawer of his desk, he removed his sidearm and slid it into the holster already belted around his waist.
Down on the starboard side hangar deck, Lee bullied the ground crew into getting a shuttle ready for him. He was thankful that it was Fisher who was on duty. He was much more susceptible to intimidation than Tyrol was. Tyrol could be quite the stickler for regulations when it suited his purposes.
Up in the CIC, the communications technician on duty turned to Col. Tigh. "Sir, Capt. Apollo is requesting permission to depart with one of the shuttles," the young man said.
"What the hell for?" the XO demanded. "It's the middle of the night shift."
"Uh, he didn't say, sir."
Tigh considered this for a moment. "Give him clearance, but monitor his destination," he said.
"Yes sir."
Walking over to the lighted console table, Tigh grabbed the phone/intercom located there and punched in the code which would connect him to the commander's quarters. It was several minutes before Adama answered and Tigh knew that he had just dragged his old friend from his bed.
"Yes?" the voice responded, still slightly hoarse from sleep.
"Sir, we have a possible situation involving Capt. Apollo, which I thought you would wish to be made aware of," Tigh said neutrally.
There was a slight pause. "I'm on my way."
0101101010000111010101110110011100001010101000
Despite the lateness of the hour, Enoch did not seem particularly surprised to find Lee standing outside the door of his suite. He ushered the captain in without a word and led him to the couch. Lee noted that the priest was still fully dressed, almost as if he had been expecting the pilot... But no, Lee pushed the thought aside, why would Enoch expect him?
"You're troubled, Lee, what is it?" the priest asked.
"Ever since we last talked, I've been having these strange thoughts and... impulses. And earlier, I had a dream that I killed my father."
If he had thought to get a reaction from the priest with that statement, he was disappointed. Enoch didn't even blink. He simply stared at Lee for several minutes.
"God has shown you the last proof that you needed that your father is false. He has shown you your destiny."
"No...," Lee whispered. "I can't..."
"Yes, you can," Enoch said, grasping the other man by the shoulders. "It is your destiny. Your father will never allow the fleet to break away from the Galactica and he is the ultimate power on the battlestar. In order for us to make the journey to Earth, he will have to be removed. You can do this, Lee. God has shown this to me as well. It is your destiny."
Moving his hands, the priest rested his cool palms on Lee's burning cheeks. Instantly, the pain that had been plaguing the pilot for days, stopped. A sort of pleasantly numbed, calm came over him. He could think clearly for the fist time in days. He felt at peace.
Enoch let his hands drop away. They gazed at each other intently for a moment. "You know what you have to do, don't you?" the priest asked.
"Yes," Lee whispered.
Enoch reached over and pulled the gun from the other man's holster. He placed it in Lee's hands.
"Do not fear. This is by God's command."
"Yes," Lee said softly. "By God's command."
To be continued...
