Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, I don't own 'Angel' or any of the characters associated with the show. The challenge (details below) belongs to me and so does Courtney.

The Baby Boom Challenge.

Inspired by the movie of the same name. Lilah Morgan's life is going great until her cousin dies, leaving Lilah with an unwanted inheritance - her baby daughter. Now, Lilah must juggle her very demanding career at Wolfram and Hart with taking care of a mischievous baby.

Requirements.

- The story should take place during Season Three or Four of 'Angel'.
- The baby should be a girl, aged between ten and fifteen months, ie. old enough to crawl and make trouble, but small enough to have to be carried around and wear diapers.
- Lilah must bring the baby to work, preferably to a very important meeting.
- Lilah changes the baby's diaper - without actually knowing how.
- Lilah does NOT abandon the baby on the doorstep to the Hyperion, or sacrifice her to the Senior Partners. She's stuck with the baby. Whether she becomes Mother of the Year, or turns the kid into a mini-her or something between the two extremes is up to you.

Bonus.

- The baby calling Lilah 'mama' at some stage, and Lilah's reaction.
- The baby biting Gavin.
- Lilah hiring a nanny, preferably going through a string of them, either because she's not happy, or the baby is too much of a handful.
- The baby winning over a powerful, important demon client by being adorable.
- Lilah getting into a 'soccer mom' conversation with the mothers of other babies.

Note: Lilah may be involved with Wesley, or another person, during the story, but she should be the baby's principal carer.

Author's Note I: To kitty-kat12 – Nope, no plans to send Lilah to the country to make baby food and fall in love with some hick. I think she'd have to have a lobotomy for that to happen and I don't have the heart to do that, even to Lilah.

Author's Note II: To lizzy, tp96 and Princess Charity – The story is set in Season Three, with Sahjahn removed from the equation, which means no Holtz and no trip to Quortoth for Connor. I don't know how I can work a Lilah/Wes pairing, since he's not going to kidnap Connor and be shunned by his friends for it. Wes will definitely meet Courtney, though.


Chapter 2.

When he saw Lilah marching towards him, a burbling baby in one arm, a colourful cloth bag in the other, even the normally smart-mouthed Gavin Parke was stunned into silence.

Sadly, this condition didn't last very long.

"Well," His smile brought new meaning to the word 'smarmy'. "This is unexpected. What's going on, Lilah?" His tone was mocking. "Are you trying to make up for your failure – I'm sorry, your persistent failures – at capturing Angel's son by offering a substitute? Because I don't think that . . ." He raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Courtney." Lilah supplied the name through gritted teeth.

"Is going to be an acceptable substitute." Gavin finished smoothly. He bent forward so that his head was level with the baby's. "Are you?"

Courtney wrinkled her tiny nose in distaste, scowling at the Asian lawyer, clearly not one whit impressed.

"Yucky!" She announced, pointing a chubby finger at him to make sure that he knew whom she was talking about.

"At least she's a good judge of character." Lilah responded coolly, refusing to allow herself to be moved by her annoying colleague's taunts. She glanced at her watch – no easy task when both hands were full. Her meeting was due to start in two minutes. She looked over at the desk where her assistant usually sat. "Where's . . ."

Damn! What was that girl's name?

"Karen." Gavin offered. "She's in Medical. She had what you might call a 'nervous breakdown'." He informed her cheerfully. "Can't say I blame her, working with you. I was only too happy to offer her a position on my team." He added, with an innocence worthy of a choirboy.

"Great." Lilah fumed. "I've got a meeting to go to." She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the unpalatable thought of asking Gavin for a favour. "Could you . . .?"

Gavin gave her a fishlike grin. "I could. But I don't want to." Pleased with himself, he sauntered off. "Have fun!" He called over his shoulder.

/Wonderful. / Lilah thought sourly. /Just wonderful. /

She frowned at the baby in her arms. "What am I supposed to do with you now?"


Half an hour later.

" . . . And so, under the terms of this agreement, the Dhurlan will enjoy hunting privileges on the west side on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, while the Har'Kreea will be in control on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. On Sundays, it's a free for all, except on the third Sunday of the month, when the Dhurlan have their ritual hunt." Lilah paused, shifting Courtney to a more comfortable position while she handed out copies of the contract for signature. "Any questions?"

A dozen scaly hands shot up.

Lilah rolled her eyes. "About something other than the baby?"

The demons lowered their hands.


An hour later.

"Let me get this straight," Linwood stared at Lilah as though he had never seen her before. "You signed something without reading it?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"But you work at Wolfram and Hart."

"I know that!" Lilah exclaimed, irritated. "I was in a hurry to get back here."

You'd think that after negotiating a truce with two warring demon tribes, a girl could get a little respect.

"Is there any way I can get out of this? Any loopholes? An 'i' they forgot to dot?" Her voice was hopeful, pleading.

Linwood shook his head. "It's airtight." He told her, his tone one of grudging admiration. "I couldn't have prepared it better myself. By signing, you agreed, and I quote, 'to undertake to act as guardian to the said Courtney Elizabeth Morgan until she reaches the age of eighteen.' It's pretty straight-forward."

"Eighteen?" Lilah's voice was hoarse. "How old is she now?"

Linwood glanced down at the paper. "Exactly eleven months come Friday."

You didn't get to be a lawyer without having something resembling intelligence.

Lilah was fully capable of subtracting eleven months from eighteen years.

She didn't like the result one bit.

It was going to be more than seventeen years before she could call her life her own again.

A strong, highly unpleasant odour jolted her back to awareness.

"What the hell is that?" She blurted before she could stop herself.

Linwood smiled knowingly. "That, my dear Lilah, is the one thing I did not miss about my kids."


"Goddammit!" Lilah swore as she added yet another mangled diaper to the pile in her trashcan.

As an only child, she had never had to change a diaper in her life and had never felt that she was missing out. Now, no matter how hard she tried, her fingers turned to thumbs as she tried to fasten the diaper and she always ended up getting the tabs stuck together.

"You know," She glared down at the squirming infant lying on the floor in front of her. "This would be a lot easier if you would just hold still."

Courtney just chuckled, kicking her chubby legs happily.

After nearly thirty minutes of effort and sheer determination, she managed to get the diaper on the child, although the fastenings were precariously loose.

Holding Courtney firmly with one hand, Lilah reached for the Sellotape dispenser on her desk and, moving as quickly as she could, she secured the diaper with about a mile of the sticky tape.

"There." Lilah brushed a lock of her hair out of her head. "I did it." She felt absurdly proud of herself. "And you were no help whatsoever." She told her tiny ward acidly.

She bent forward and picked the baby up, her eyes widening in horror as the diaper slipped off, much to the delight of a chortling Courtney.

For the first time since she was a small child, Lilah Morgan felt like crying.

TBC.

Author's Note: I've been a real slowpoke about updating lately, so hopefully I'll be able to do better. I'm toying with the idea of writing a chapter from Courtney's point of view. Would any of you be interested in reading it?