Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, I don't own 'Angel' or any of the characters associated with the show. The challenge (details below) belongs to me and so does Courtney.

The Baby Boom Challenge.

Inspired by the movie of the same name. Lilah Morgan's life is going great until her cousin dies, leaving Lilah with an unwanted inheritance - her baby daughter. Now, Lilah must juggle her very demanding career at Wolfram and Hart with taking care of a mischievous baby.

Requirements.

- The story should take place during Season Three or Four of 'Angel'.
- The baby should be a girl, aged between ten and fifteen months, ie. old enough to crawl and make trouble, but small enough to have to be carried around and wear diapers.
- Lilah must bring the baby to work, preferably to a very important meeting.
- Lilah changes the baby's diaper - without actually knowing how.
- Lilah does NOT abandon the baby on the doorstep to the Hyperion, or sacrifice her to the Senior Partners. She's stuck with the baby. Whether she becomes Mother of the Year, or turns the kid into a mini-her or something between the two extremes is up to you.

Bonus.

- The baby calling Lilah 'mama' at some stage, and Lilah's reaction.
- The baby biting Gavin.
- Lilah hiring a nanny, preferably going through a string of them, either because she's not happy, or the baby is too much of a handful.
- The baby winning over a powerful, important demon client by being adorable.
- Lilah getting into a 'soccer mom' conversation with the mothers of other babies.

Note: Lilah may be involved with Wesley, or another person, during the story, but she should be the baby's principal carer.

Author's Note I: To kitty-kat12 – I remember that episode. Lilah was telling Lindsey about a colleague who had offered her firstborn to an unspecified entity before the Wolfram and Hart review. She said "My mother was right, I should have had children." No siblings were mentioned.

Author's Note II: To Imzadi – Lindsey was still a good guy in Season Three, right? I wonder what happened between Seasons Two and Five to change him so much. I don't remember him being as bitter and ruthless in the earlier seasons. And, in answer to your question, Lynn Morgan wasn't married. I wanted Lilah and Courtney to have the same last name.

Author's Note III: To Darklight – Don't worry, I have no intention whatsoever of sending Courtney or Connor off to Quortoth or any other hell dimension at any stage in this story. I'm still angry with the show's writers for aging Connor. Baby Connor was so cute, but teenage Connor was a brat.


Chapter 3.

Three days later.

Sleeping was a thing of the past.

Since the arrival of her cousin's infant daughter, Lilah had spent her nights walking the floors with Courtney, who seemed to have inherited her new guardian's obstinacy and stubbornly refused to be pacified by Lilah's alternating coaxing, bribes and threats.

The eleven month old's wails were almost loud enough to shatter glass and even Lilah was starting to worry whether or not there was something seriously wrong with the child.

She mightn't have been Mother of the Year material, but that didn't mean that she was made entirely out of stone. She didn't want to leave a baby in unnecessary pain.

Besides, if the little brat didn't stop screaming, she was never going to get a decent night's sleep.


Ten o'clock the next morning, hospital.

Even over the phone, Lilah had practically been able to hear Linwood's jaw drop when she told him that she was taking a half day's personal leave.

During her time at Wolfram and Hart, Lilah had never missed a day of work and, unless she had been on her deathbed, she never would have done so.

Unfortunately, the paediatrician at the nearest hospital worked during the day.

The waiting room was one of the noisiest places she had ever been in.

At least half a dozen parents, mostly mothers, sat on the ugly grey couches, cooing to their shrieking infants, while a cluster of toddlers congregated around the toy table were arguing at the top of their lungs over who had first choice of the small collection of blocks and puzzles.

Lilah couldn't help but be grateful that her own small charge, who sat in her lap, chewing on a book, was relatively well-behaved.

She sighed impatiently, glancing at her watch yet again. She had been waiting a full half hour to see the doctor, who didn't seem to respect the fact that, as Vice-President of Special Projects, she was entitled to preferential treatment.

"Well," A dry voice spoke from the doorway. "Will wonders never cease?"

"Okay," A second speaker said in amused tones. "Now I've seen everything."

She wanted to sink into the cushions of the overstuffed couches when she saw them.

Angel, together with his associate, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, who carried a chubby-cheeked little boy she assumed was the so-called 'Miracle Baby' whose arrival was causing so many headaches at Wolfram and Hart.

"Lilah," Wesley's greeting was cold. "I never would have pictured you as the maternal type."

"It's not my baby!" Lilah protested immediately.

"Mama." Courtney chirruped, as if on cue. Lilah's face instantly turned a bright shade of scarlet. Untroubled by her guardian's reaction, the baby girl pointed a short, slightly fat finger at the sleeping Connor. "Baba." She announced. "Yucky baba."

"Hey." Angel exclaimed indignantly. "That's my son she's talking about."

"Angel, remember whose child she is." Wesley spoke in a low voice. "Are you really surprised."

"I am not her mother." Lilah wasn't going to let even these two clowns labour under the delusion that she was anybody's mother.

Physically, Courtney was very like her, with soft chestnut curls and deep brown eyes, and Angel and Wesley were not the first to mistake them for mother and daughter, something that irritated her to no end.

"No Mama." Courtney's tiny lower lip trembled. "Mama go bye-bye." Tears started to roll down her plump cheeks and she drew breath before commencing a wailing lament.

Lilah turned to the vampire and the former Watcher with a look of indescribable fury.

"Now look what you did." She snarled.

"Courtney Morgan?"

Although they would never have admitted it, both Angel and Wesley were slightly relieved when the nurse called Courtney's name and Lilah stalked off in the direction of the doctor's office.

Although the lawyer was no match for them physically, the intensity of her expression had unnerved them more than a little.

"Wow," Angel commented. "Hard to think of Lilah taking care of a baby. Poor baby."

Wesley raised an eyebrow. "Poor baby? If it was anyone but Lilah, I'd feel sorry for her."


"So what's wrong with her?" Lilah demanded impatiently, fixing the paediatrician with a steely glare. "She never goes to sleep when I tell her to, she cries all night. I want to know why."

The doctor, armed with years of experience in dealing with anxious parents, gave her a reassuring smile. "I wouldn't worry too much, Ms Morgan. Courtney has recently experienced a great loss, in addition to being uprooted from her home and being placed with a new guardian. It is natural that she would need some time to adjust. In a couple of weeks, she should settle down."

"Weeks?" Lilah was horrified. "What am I supposed to do until then?"

"Be patient." The doctor smiled. "Children are resilient, Ms Morgan. I have no doubt that Courtney will soon become comfortable with you."

"That's great." Lilah gave him her best fake smile. "But what am I supposed to do until then? Can you prescribe some sleeping tablets or something."

"I'm the wrong person to prescribe medication for you." The doctor gave her a wide smile. "You are a little older than my patients usually are."

"Not for me, you idiot." Lilah snapped, losing patience. "For her." She nodded in Courtney's direction.

"You can't sedate a baby!" The poor doctor was horrified.

"What can you recommend then?" She demanded.

"Patience." The paediatrician told her soberly. "Patience and understanding."

"Marvellous." Lilah muttered sourly, picking Courtney up and turning to leave the office.

Patience and understanding were not things that she had in great supply.


Three hours later, Wolfram and Hart.

"Can you believe this?" Lilah fumed. "The company daycare centre won't enrol you because they're full. They wouldn't even throw out some underling's brat to make a space. Since when do they care whether or not their child-staff ratio is too high, or whether they're breaking fire safety regulations? Since that slimy bastard Gavin showed up waving his red tape at them, that's when." She answered her own question.

"Yucky Gab'n." Courtney interjected sagely.

Lilah gave the baby an amused half smile. " 'Yucky Gavin'? Could be a nickname. For two pins, I'd have his heart ripped out and force fed to him before he dies."

Accustomed by now to her 'Auntie' Lilah's tirades, Courtney just smiled and continued to chew on a very important contract mistakenly delivered to Lilah's office instead of that of the hated Gavin, which had 'accidentally' made it's way into her hands.

'Auntie' Lilah was a bit weird, but she could be very funny sometimes.

TBC.