Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, I don't own 'Angel' or any of the characters associated with the show. The challenge (details below) belongs to me and so does Courtney.
The Baby Boom Challenge.
Inspired by the movie of the same name. Lilah Morgan's life is going great until her cousin dies, leaving Lilah with an unwanted inheritance - her baby daughter. Now, Lilah must juggle her very demanding career at Wolfram and Hart with taking care of a mischievous baby.
Requirements.
- The story should take place during Season Three or Four of 'Angel'.
- The baby should be a girl, aged between ten and fifteen months, ie. old enough to crawl and make trouble, but small enough to have to be carried around and wear diapers.
- Lilah must bring the baby to work, preferably to a very important meeting.
- Lilah changes the baby's diaper - without actually knowing how.
- Lilah does NOT abandon the baby on the doorstep to the Hyperion, or sacrifice her to the Senior Partners. She's stuck with the baby. Whether she becomes Mother of the Year, or turns the kid into a mini-her or something between the two extremes is up to you.
Bonus.
- The baby calling Lilah 'mama' at some stage, and Lilah's reaction.
- The baby biting Gavin.
- Lilah hiring a nanny, preferably going through a string of them, either because she's not happy, or the baby is too much of a handful.
- The baby winning over a powerful, important demon client by being adorable.
- Lilah getting into a 'soccer mom' conversation with the mothers of other babies.
Author's Note I: To Darklight – 'Unwanted Bequest' and 'The Happiest Place On Earth' should be read as completely separate stories. Think of them as alternate universes. And I have no plans to leave poor little Courtney alone in the world.
Author's Note II: To Charmed-angel4 – I'm going to be mean and not answer that question.
Author's Note III: To gidgetgirl – Connor and Courtney are less than a year old. I don't think I'm ready to plan them as a future couple just yet.
Author's Note IV: This chapter may not make much sense, but I can promise that I do know where I'm going with this.
Chapter 7.
Monday morning, nine o'clock.
"Isn't this just the cutest thing you ever saw?" Harmony gushed, holding out the little outfit she had bought.
"It's pink." Lilah made it sound like some kind of disease.
"It's a suit." Harmony beamed. "I figured if the munchkin was going to be hanging around the office, she might as well look the part. And pink's definitely her colour." She smiled at Courtney. "You like it, don't you, sweetie?"
Lilah glared at the baby in her arms. "If you say yes, I'm putting you up for adoption."
Although Lilah sometimes – oh, who was she kidding, always – found her assistant to be a source of irritation, she had to admit that she was glad of the free babysitting service the blonde vampire provided her with.
Gavin Parke had 'thoughtfully' offered to handle some of her clients while she had to take care of Courtney, and he was taking full advantage of her temporary setback to firmly entrench himself with some of the firm's most important clients.
She had decided that morning that, come hell or high water, she wasn't going to let him replace her at her meeting with Lord Scheltar, leader of the powerful Mah'tet family of demons.
With hindsight, she realized that she ought to have been suspicious when Gavin never even made an effort to take her client off her hands.
"How many times must you be told that my people only drink from goblets crafted from gold that has been forged in the fires of a volcano?" Lord Scheltar demanded, flinging the offending cup at the unfortunate tea lady's head. "Can you humans not follow the simplest of instructions?"
Lilah gritted her teeth, doing her best to remain calm and collected, despite the insults that were being screamed at her.
Somehow, she got the impression that her superiors would be less than pleased if she were to throttle so important a client.
"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy had roast beef and this little piggy . . .Uh-oh." Horrorstruck, Harmony released Courtney's bare foot.
Courtney, covered in the blackcurrant juice from her bottle, whose lid she had managed to remove, gurgled up at her.
"Oh no." Harmony wiped at the baby's dress with a paper napkin, but the juice had already soaked through. "Your Auntie Lilah's going to kill me." She fished around in Courtney's baby bag for a fresh dress, but came up empty handed. Her eyes fell on the little pink suit she had bought and she smiled. "I guess every cloud has a silver lining."
Twenty minutes later.
"I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience, Your Lordship." Linwood groveled for all he was worth, struggling to hide his irritation at the argumentative client. "Had we known that you found ball point pens offensive, I assure you that we would not have allowed one to come into your august presence."
Mollified somewhat by Linwood's assurances, Lord Scheltar just harrumphed, waving an imperious hand to signal that Lilah could continue.
"Should your clan choose to do business with us, I am certain that you will find us to be helpful, accommodating, and above all, professional."
"Bossy?" A distressed Harmony burst into the room, bearing a howling Courtney. "I'm sorry, I can't get her to stop crying. I think she wants you."
Courtney held out her pudgy arms and Lilah, after a moment's hesitation, lifted her up, uncomfortably conscious of Linwood's glares.
Entranced by Lord Scheltar's lilac visage, the baby stopped crying and stared at him.
"A baby." The demon lord smiled for the first time since the meeting had begun. "I like babies."
"Of course." Linwood inclined his head. "And I'm sure we can arrange something. Lilah, how much do you want for the baby?"
Lord Scheltar chuckled, shaking his head before Lilah could answer. "I don't eat babies anymore, bad for my cholesterol levels. I do find them amusing, however. May I?"
Lilah gratefully handed Courtney over.
"Hello, little one." The demon bounced Courtney on his knee, regarding her with the benign smile of a doting grandfather as she tugged at his long white beard. He glared up at Linwood and Lilah. "I want her to be my lawyer from now on."
"Excuse me?" Lilah stared at him, wondering if he was completely insane.
"But she's a baby." Linwood objected. Lord Scheltar scowled at him. "But if you want her as your lawyer, she's your lawyer." He backpedaled hastily.
"Good." The lilac demon smiled down at his new lawyer. "And what do you advise me to do?"
Courtney babbled incoherently, grinning up at him.
"Translate please."
"She wants you to sign this." Lilah, seizing her opportunity, pushed a contract towards him, breathing a sigh of relief when he scrawled a signature on the dotted line.
"Now," Lord Scheltar rose, carrying Courtney in his arms. "Where could we find sugar confectionary of some kind?"
"I'll take you to the canteen." Harmony offered generously, leading them out of the room.
Linwood regarded Lilah for a few minutes before inclining his head and giving her a small smile of approval. "Well done."
TBC.
Author's Note: Next chapter will probably be the last, although since I'm leaving for a trip on Saturday, I don't know how long that update will take. Please keep up the reviews.
