Too much love will kill you
Disclaimer: I only own the computer were all this crazyness comes togheter. That´s it. Not the show nor the character in it. I don´t own Queen either, though I wish I was a queen but that has nothing to do with this.
Author´s Note: OK. So you talked me into writing a sequel. I hope you like this one as much as you liked the first. This is suposed to be a one parter as well; AU and OOC as the last one. Now please read and review :)
Too much love will kill you
If you can´t make up your mind,
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind.And the pain will make you crazy,
You are a victim of your crimes.
Too much love will kill you,
Anytime.
Like so many times in this past year I wake up on the verge of falling off my bed. His bed, I remember intantly, but I cannot ponder on that thought for long since another has clouded my mind. Where is he? He should be here, by my side. So I open my eyes and turn on the bed. There I see him, sitting on the couch staring at his hands. I ask what´s wrong but he seams to be lost in his own little world and won´t answer. I walk over to his side and that´s when I notice a ring in his hands. My left hand goes to my right and even thought I know my engagement ring looks nothing like the one he is holding I have to make certain that it´s still there.
"I was going to prepare and overly early breakfast and propose today." He says all of a sudden. "But when I was trying to free myself from your embrace I got my sleave caught on your engagement ring." His eyes flicker for a second in direction to my hand. "I was going to propose to a married woman, how ironic is that?" He says finally looking at me. "How pathetic is that?" He half mumbles while looking at the ring once more.
My heart breaks into pieces as I listen to him. I wish I could confort him, I wish I could make it all better... but I can´t and it kills me. I start to move closer still not sure of what I´ll do yet certain that I have to do something but he won´t let me. He says he needs some air and heads out into the cold day dawning.
I look at my ring; take it off and throw it half way across the room. I then collapse to the floor crying. I hate that thing, I never liked it to begin with, but I now oficially hate it. I know people say diamonds are a girls best friend, but mine would always be the amathyst. Light violet and small, shaped as a rectangle... just like the one he was holding minutes ago.
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I don´t know how long it´s been, I do know he should be back already... it has to be close to opening time. He is avoiding me. The thought shakes me to the core and states my actions. I go over to my clothes and get dressed, I write a note for him and leave the diner.
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It´s been almost a month since the day he "proposed". I haven´t seen him but I still keep my hopes high... hope that when I do he´ll smile just like I´m doing right now at his mere thought. Hope that he´ll find the strength in him to wait for me just a little bit longer. Sometimes I second guess my actions but deep down I know this was the only way to go.
I´ve been working as a manager of the Independence Inn in Stars Hollow for the past year. At first it gave me something to do and it also allowed me to be closer to him without arousing suspesions. But then, as the idea of filing for divorce started to form in my head, it gave me a way to grant my future. I started secretly saving up money and two weeks ago I bought a house. It´s not a big house, but it´s good enough for Rory and me.
Rory. The thought of her name alone makes me sad. She has always been a smart kid and she knew I was miserable with her dad. She has asked time and time again why am I filing for divorce but I cannot tell her. I dare not tell her. I could always blame it on Chris´s affaire but it wouldn't be true. That is just half of the reason, the other one being my own. Don´t get me wrong... we haven´t kissed yet, but isn´t lusting and longing for someone else a way of cheating too?
Things so far are going ok. I told Chris a week ago and even though he was a little bit shocked he didn´t seem to care too much. I guess he thought it was for the best too. We needed only one meeting with our lawyers to set up everything. He demanded almost everything we own, stating I hadn´t worked since we got married. I granted him that, I just asked for sole custody of Rory which he didn´t seem to mind that much and that he continue to pay for her Chilton tuition. That was a little bit harder but we managed at the end. He was shocked to find that I had bought a house but since he was keeping all of our things his lawyer suggested he leave it at ease, besided he wouldn´t have to provide me one now.
The papers should be done anyday now, but I can´t wait any longer. I have to see him... and that´s why, dissrigarding all I´ve promised him and myself, I am walking to his diner right now.
I cross the plaza from where I have a great view of the dinner. There he is, wearing the baseball cap I gave him. He lookes up and sees me coming. He turns around and walks away and I freeze right where I am. Maybe he didn´t see me, I try to reason with myself. But there is no way you can fool youself. I just can´t believe this... I can feel the tears wirling up in my eyes but my brain isn´t working properly and won´t tell them to disapear. A single tear escapes my eyes when I see him come out of the alley behind the dinner. He is running to me. He is running to meet me! And despite my no-work-out-policy I run towards him too... I think I heard someone calling my name but I don´t care right now. All I can think about is Luke running to me. We meet in a tight hug and before I can say anything at all he leans down and kisses me senseless.
That´s when I hear it clear as cristal water.
"MOM!?"
I turn just to see Rory running away from me. I scream out her name and beg her to stop but she won´t listen.
"You said it would be done when you came back." He said hurt realising his grip of my waist and walking away.
I don´t know what to do, I´m torn between running after her or explaining this to him. I decide for the second, he deserves that much and I guess Rory would have found out eventually about him.
I run after him and catch up right before he can enter the diner again. I stand in his way and say the only thing I believe will make him stop.
"It is done."
"Really? Then why has your daughter just ran away from you?"
"Because..."
"Exactly what I thought." He says bitterly and stars to walk away once more. I grab his arm with all of my might to keep him from leaving before I can explain.
"I told Chris I wanted the divorce. We´ve set everything already. I even bought a house here in Stars Hollow for Rory and I to live in. The papers should be here any day of this week, but I couldn´t tell Rory about you just yet. Luke, please... look at me. The waiting was driving me crazy, I couldn´t stand to be away from you an other day... I just wanted to tell you the good news." I put a hand in his face trying to have him face me, but he moves away. He looks up at me and his eyes scare me. He is a mixture of hurt, anger and dare. He is daring me to lie to him once more. I took a step closer and stand looking right into his eyes.
"I am going to leave him Luke. I will divorce him." He searches my eyes looking for a hint of lie then searches inside his pocket and gives me a box and a note. He turns and finally leaves me in the middle of the street.
I put my head down defeatedly and start to walk away. I don´t need to open the note to know what it says. It was my own. The one I wrote before I left.
I know I cannot ask anything from you,
but I´m hoping that you will find it in your heart
to wait for me untill I return.
There are some things I need to take care of
before I can answer the question you never asked.
If you accept my plea then don´t try to contact me.
I´ll come back to you the day when I can scream my reply.
With all my love untill we meet again,
Lorelai.
I can only asume that my engagement ring will be inside the box since I never picked it up the day I left. I open the box to see it once again, before I give it back to Chris and I´m shocked to see an amathyst staring at me from inside. I´m confused and decide to read the note. Right underneath my words I can read his reply.
My love,
I will not deny that I wish you´ll marry me
but I will not push you tordwards a decision you don´t want to make.
If you decide to back up on this,
then you must know that I will still love you
and will remain your friend no matter what.
But if you want to go through with this,
then I beg you to wear this ring when you come back
so I´ll know what you´ve chosen.
Untill the day you return to my side,
Love,
Luke.
I start crying as I realize he must have wanted to send that the moment he read the letter. I wish it means that he will be waiting till I work this out but I don´t believe this to be the time to ask.
So I head home to finish the leap I´ve just been force to take, hoping that one way or the other I´ll land on my feet.
Author´s Note: Don´t worry I intend to write an other chappy for this but it was turning out to be really long and messy so I decided to cut this one here and post the next one only if you like the sequell. So please let me know? Pretty please??? :)
Colleen: Thanks again for checking this for me :)
Vered: Now, can´t wait to hear what you thing of this one... please review.
Wheelie: Be nice.
