Screaming Infidelities
Disclaimer: Not mine. The title is from Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: A short one-parter in Lindsay's point of view… starting from the phone call at the end of season 4.
A/N: My inspiration was the song. Special thanks to Ari for let me bounce ideas off her and for beta-ing. She rocks! And to DA for letting me bounce idea's off her too.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
She would sit on the couch watching TV. He wasn't home; he wasn't ever home.
He'd make up excuses… he'd have to work late, or he'd be hanging out with the boys. It depended on his mood, and which lie he'd prefer to hear himself say, which one sounded more realistic.
She tried to believe him, to hang onto the fact that he loved her and would be with her forever, like he had said in their vows. But when it came down to it, she could see the look in his eyes. It was all a lie. Their life was a lie. It was almost as though they were role-playing, with everything they said scripted; the only thing missing was the stage.
The phone rang and interrupted her thoughts.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"Hello?"
A deep breathe.
"Hello?"
And then the dial tone.
She frowns at the phone as she looks at the caller ID. It is not a local number -- she decides it must have been a cell number.
She brushes a strand of hair out of her face as she looks at the phone, perplexed.
She slowly gets up from the couch and looks around the room. She is searching for his cell phone. She spots it on the counter. It's just her luck that he forgot it.
As she walks quickly towards it, she crosses her fingers, like she did when she was young and hoped that grandma would save her the last cookie.
She flips through the address book for a few seconds and then finds it.
She finds the last piece to the puzzle; the one that she had hoped wouldn't fit.
He cheated on her. She now knows it for sure. She wonders how long it had been going on. She knows that she wasn't the best wife…but she tried. She tried to learn to cook, to clean, to do laundry. Those things couldn't be the reason, right?
The front door slams and she throws down the phone, sitting in the nearest chair.
"Hey babe, where have you been?"
"Out," He replies as he comes into view.
She looks at him, noticing that his hair is out of place and that his shirt is only halfway tucked in. "You missed dinner… I put it in the fridge."
"I already ate," he says without looking at her.
"Oh," she says, trying to remain calm.
"I'm going to bed."
She shuts her eyes, wishing herself luck, and reopens them quickly. "How's Rory?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That night seemed like it had just happened, although it had really been over a week ago.
She had thrown all of his crap into a bag and kicked him out of the house, that night. She didn't give a damn where he had gone…but it was probably to mommy and daddy's house.
She had sat on the couch all night and sobbed. Life wasn't fair, indeed. He had been her first love.
She had ignored all the signs of infidelity; let him walk all over her. She should have stopped it when she suspected; she had been afraid of getting her heart broken, but in the long run, it ended up being torn into pieces and stomped on.
The next morning she couldn't hold down food. She had thought that it was from all that had gone on…but after it had happened for 2 days straight, she decided that it must be the flu.
Now, after 7 days, she walks into the grocery store, wearing all of the make-up possible to cover up her puffy, crying eyes.
She scans the store quickly, checking to make sure that he isn't working.
He isn't. It was Sunday, his day off.
She walks directly to the Feminine Hygiene isle. She finds what she's looking for and returns to the check out stand, making sure to place some magazines on top.
She had chosen the perfect time to come. It is almost 10 o'clock. The town is asleep and the store is just about to close.
The check out boy is new, so she figured that it will eliminate the rumors.
He doesn't question anything and she is out of the store and home in record time.
Within minutes she is in her bathroom, waiting, waiting for the stick to change colors.
She sighs and looks at her watch. One minute.
One minute can change a life, or multiple lives, she thinks.
The second hand pushes its way to the 12.
She takes a deep breath before turning around and looking down at her future.
"Oh my god!" She gasps and almost falls to the floor, but catches the counter top just in time.
She grabs the stick and sits down, a look of shock glued to her face.
When was the last time…? she asks herself. "Two and a half weeks ago," she answers aloud.
She sits on the floor for what seems like hours, before finally reaching into her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. She dials her number with sweaty palms and shaky hands.
He picks up after the first ring. "Lindsay?"
"I…I…" She starts to sob.
"What is it?" he asks, annoyed.
"I'm pregnant."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Your hair, it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
