Disclaimer: I've as of yet not managed to own the X-men, not for lack of trying and hostile takeovers.

(An: -sighs- I would've had this chapter up yesterday, but my compu crashed and I lost it. Damn Windows XP!! -shakes fist at Bill Gates- Die, you evil evil billionaire! But anyway, right. I'm going to combat the idea of the X-men being lost thanks to Evan in the next chapter, savvy? And maybe, just maybe, if you guys are good and review with suggestions, I'll add some Jott torture and Romy-ness in it as well, savvy? Damn POTC to heck, heck I say! And damn Johnny Depp to my basement! Goddammit! I feel like such an idiot! I was in a hurry when I posted this so I forgot to change the coding. I feel stupid.)

=OUTSIDE A MANHOLE, SOMEWHERE IN BAYVILLE=

"Are you SURE this is the place where the X-men have made their lair?"

"YES, sire," said Mesmero, who had developed a nasty tic under his left eye. "All the readouts say that a bunch of mutants matching their descriptions are currently IN THE SEWERS!" (-evil laugh- Torturing your characters can be subtle sometimes. But most of the times its not.)

"I just don't feel comfortable sending Sue Anna down there. All those sweaty guys in spandex! Spandex! What if she decides she doesn't go for glowy guys in loincloths?" Apocalypse looked like he could burst into tears at any moment.

"Um....," said Mesmero. What do I do? What do I do??? This wasn't on the list of things I had to do for MY LORD AND MASTER, Mesmero thought. "Er..."

"Oh, you're no help," said Apocalypse, beginning to sob quietly, "Go ahead. Send Sue Anna into the sewers. Go with her. I wish to cry alone now."

"Um, okaaaay," said Mesmero, slowly backing away from him. Why did I have to go for an evil person that's an idiot? I could have gone for Mags, or even gone straight and joined Xavier. But nooo, I go for the idiot with a fetish!

He pushed Sue Anna down the sewers and followed after her.

Mesmero took out the remote control and pushed the big red button. It beeped, and Sue Anna's weasel balls came to life.

She started rolling over the rubble and general stuff in the sewers. Apparently Forge had done something to it so that no matter what she came across, she didn't fall over, just kept rolling and rolling.. Darn it! Darn it all to heck! Now I'm falling for her! AAAAHHH!

Mesmero gave up and ran after her, calling "Wait for me, my darling!"

=WHEREVER THE MORLOCKS MAKE THEIR BASE=

Callisto looked up from her book. "What the heck is that noise?"

Torpid shrugged.

Just then, Sue Anna rolled in, Mesmero in hot pursuit. Mesmero, spotting the Morlocks, gasped and ran back out. Oh dear God! They've all been mutated beyond all recognition!

Callisto blinked. "What the-" There was a loud crash as Sue Anna came barreling in through the wall. Apparently, she had used her water yo-yo like a wrecking ball.

Now, Sue Anna was not a discerning... whatever she was. Basically, her programming extended to "Kill any unfamiliar mutants you come across." Familiar mutants being Forge, Apocalypse, and Mesmero. (Although Forge had wavered slightly on putting Mesmero on the "familiar" list, heh heh.)

The bug thing on Sue Anna's green stick came to life. (It WAS there for a reason, yes ppl, it WAS there for a reason.) Let's see, unfamiliar, unfamiliar, unfamiliar, unfamiliar. IT'S TIME TO DIE, FOR YOU! (That last bit is a nod to "Potter Puppet Pals." If you like Harry Potter, or heck, even if you don't, go look it up. It's damn funny, even if it takes forever to load. You can even buy t-shirts!)

The Morlocks blinked. "What's that?", they all asked in unison. Well, except for Torpid, but she can't speak, so yeah.

Lazer beams came out of Sue Anna's eyes, and everyone died in a fiery explosion. (I WAS going to drag this out, but then I started on Krac's fic "Aftermath and Regeneration", and read the whole bit about the Morlocks, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sorry. But I will torture Evan, don't worry, I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.)

Except of course for Caliban, who had been sitting in the other room playing with an alligator. He blinked at the loud crash as Sue Anna came through the wall. "RUN AWAAAAY!" he screeched. (Caliban is the only Morlock I like; don't ask why, even I don't know.)

=FAR AWAY, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SEWER, RIGHT WHERE AND WHEN WE LEFT THE X-MEN=

('Member, all of this was happening during the whole getting lost plot device.)

Rogue glared and punched the wall. Remy smacked his forehead and went over to remind her of her anger management tips. (I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and BRIIIIIGHT!)

Just then Caliban came running in.

"Caliban?" asked Evan from the ground.

"Oh oh SSssspyke it'ssss awful theirssss thisss thing and it'sss killing and oh it'sss awful!!!" There was a loud crash from a good way off. "Oh no, it'ssss coming thisss way! RUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSS!" And Caliban ran off ssssscreaming.

Evan blinked. "Right. Did you guys understand a word of what he just said?"

Rogue shook her head. "Ah don't think we want ta know."

"You know," said Kitty, "We could have, like, asked him for like, directions."

Rogue smacked her forehead. "She's right, god damn it."

"Well, dere's not'in' we can do 'bout dat now," said Remy. "Remy doan t'ink we could got some answers outta dat guy anyway, even if we could understand de accent."

Just then, Sue Anna came crashing through the wall. Her bug-on-a-stick blinked. Oh no way. I'm outta here.

Mesmero, ever the faithful servant, came running in, still calling, "Wait for me!"

Sue Anna rolled her eyes, and a sign popped out of her bag-on-a-bone. "I quit," it read, "Going on vacation. Call me!" And with that Sue Anna rolled off.

Mesmero blinked. "But what am I supposed to tell the boss?"

Sue Anna ignored him, just kept rolling.

Mesmero ran off after her.

The X-men blinked. "What was dat about?" asked Remy

Rogue shrugged. "We're stuck in a running gag. Get used to it, sugah."

"Well, we may as well start walking," said Evan, getting up.

=FAR FAR AWAY, SOME BEACH IN THE BAHAMAS=

Sue Anna was sitting on a deck chair in the Bahamas. Aaah, this is the life. No stalkers, no freaky mutant things, no work, just me, my drink, and the view.

"Sue Anna, my darling! I love a girl that plays hard to get!" said an annoyingly familiar voice from behind her.

Oh no.

"Weeeee're baaaa-aack," said Mesmero, grinning at her.

(So I'll leave you with that. Review with suggestions and I'll do what I promised, savvy?

And now, for a shout-out to my first reviewer! Give her a hand ppl!

EviltwinAlix: I think it is very very coolie-oolies that you reviewed. And with suggestions no less! I will have Logan go insane, I luv to do that to ppl, and Mags, well I have to make Mags do something stupid. I have evil evil plans for a sleepover.. heh heh heh, and don't worry, Jott torturing will begin, because I am a sucker for a reviewer! And also because if you've ever read a jott 'mic bio you all know what happens with Jott's kids.. -shudders- And for everyone else: Go read her romy ficlets, for they do rocketh!