Disclaimer: If I owned Marvel, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom would run around in cupcake costumes (DON'T ASK) all day. Since they don't, well yeah.
(An: They're watching me.. always watching me.. you know who I'm talking about... the penguins! -runs off screaming- Um, right. But that's not the point! This is a transition chappy! Next chapter, the mutants will go to a kareoke bar for a gig and get smashed! And Remy will finally sing Iris! -several fangirls and Mayleen squeal and faint in the background- What more could you ask for? Hmm, maybe Remy singing Iris while nekkid and covered in whipped cream? Mmmm... -snaps out of Remy-induced trance- Um, eh heh heh, right. -shifty looks- Oops, looks like I forgot the zany quote for the last chapter! -gasp- So here it is, just a tad late: "Is that you, Auntie Em? I just had the strangest dream involving four-speed blenders." Ok, so before I embarass myself further, on with the chapter!)
=THAT SAME DAY AROUND 6 P.M.=
The mutants were all piled into the X-jet. How did they manage to do this without getting in trouble, you ask? Well, they were supposed to be doing a session with Hank, but well.. we'll get to that.
They were strapped into various places around the jet. Since we have some spare time, let's visit some points of interest, shall we?
First, view the magnificent ice sculpture titled "Jott." Wait, that's not a sculpture, that's really them! No folks, no need to help them. This happens to them a lot. Apparently, Rogue zapped them and they landed in such a magnificent pose that Bobby felt it necessary to immortalize them. And he didn't want all that dead weight sliding along on the floor.
Next, observe (but don't step on) the dried vomit on the floor. You may find it disgusting, but it is a testament to riders long past, since nobody wants to clean it.
Third, notice the fact that Kurt is flying the jet with his feet.
Fourth, notice the curious number of people macking, or making out. Since the writer is a shipper with a large imagination, many are represented, such as Jubby, Kurtty, Romy (more on that in a moment) and whatever Sam/Rahne is called.
And finally, notice the poor shattered soul whimpering in the corner. His name is Hank, or so everyone believes. He is not sure. Why is he so upset? Well, he was supposed to be teaching a session today. What happened, you ask? Well, until five minutes ago, everything was normal. That is, until Rogue acquired a canister of whipped cream. Then, something strange happened (the forensics team is still trying to sort it out) and now everyone's favorite "Beast of Bayville" is now in the corner, covered in shaving cream. What's not covered in shaving cream is strangely devoid of blue hair. He is also tied up, and dressed only in the black Speedos that pass for his uniform. He is also whimpering, and whispering to himself about.. uh it appears to be something like "Oh god oh god the penguins ate Shakespeare, alas poor Yorick.." Wait, wait, he appears to becoming agitated.
-author starts narrating in an Aussie accent- Let's approach him, shall we? Oh, keep back folks, this guy's got fangs the size of my pinky! Uh-oh, this one's a fighter! Wait, it looks like he's going to say something! -Hank runs up and grabs the screen- "Oh my god the penguins will eat us AAAAALLL!" Oh, he looks like he's calming down! Now we can subdue him with a- wait.. what?
Ok, since I don't want to get lost in an elaborate fantasy again, we're switching to normal narrative.
Remember when I said we'd get back to Romy? Well, now's the time my chiclets. Rogue had the previously mentioned canister of whipped cream and was absently sucking some off her fingers while staring out the window. Remy was staring at her fingers, transfixed. He stared at her face. "Will you marry me?"
Rogue snapped out of her reverie to give Remy a strange look. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Ok, then how about some hot sex?"
"I hate you," said Rogue, since she was perplexed and had no other comebacks ready. (-In the background, a large red light goes off and a purple platypus with a horn for a beak runs around yelling "COMIC JOKE COMIC JOKE! RUN FOR THE HILLS! THE AUTHOR'S DRAWING ON COMIC JOKES!"- -author throws a large wad of gum at it, shutting it up- Ok, ok, I admit it! That joke was used in the comics by Remy! So sue me! Ya don't havta be so dramatic! -grumbles to herself- Oh, and if you need help picturing said platypus, picture the honking ducks from the cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland.)
"I hate my life," said Remy to no-one in particular. "I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life chasing an untouchable girl, doomed to millions of fanfics dedicated to said chase, doomed to stupid jokes and bad pick-up lines, doomed to be this authors favorite basement-bunny!" And with that he began to bang his head against the side of the jet. (Aaaw, poor Remy. I almost feel sorry for the swamp rat. The key word there is "Almost". -speaks louder- He's too good with whipped cream to make that pitiful attempt allow me to let him out of of my basement, ya hear that?) Remy sighed and started to bang his head harder. "Merde."
Rogue patted his back. "It's ok Rem. Ya get used to being the author's favorite character and pairing aftah a while. I mean, look at Kurt. He's all but completely healed from the affects of being in 'Tree Girl.'"
Up in the front of the jet, Kurt twitched. "Please don't remind me of that. It's bad enough having nightmares about it, and then having people bring it up in the day!" He twitched, and the jet went into a downward spiral. "Eh heh, oops," said Kurt, fixing it. "See what that does to me?!?"
"You should really get that tic under your eye looked at Kurt," said Kitty.
"It doesn't matter anyway, we're here!" said Jamie exitedly, pointing out the window.
They landed on the roof. Strangely enough, no one took any notice of this.
(If any of you didn't get that whole "Kurt being mentally scarred over starring in some fic called 'Tree girl'," it was an OC story. -facepalms- It's crap. If you want an idea of just how much crap it is, go read it. Just don't make me pay the psychiatry bills, savvy? Kurt was a major char, him being my obsession and all. Well, my biggest one anyway. As fer you FF-Net'ers, I didn't post it here. Be glad of it. Anyway, sorry that was so short but the 'rents are limiting my 'net time for the time being. -shrugs- And I leave you, my faithful readers (and hopefully reviewers), with this quote: "I don't know what's scarier: That that actually worked, or that you carry around a pigeon puppet.")
