Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel, Remy, or Iris, but the image of Remy singing Iris is mine, all mine I tell you!

(An: I have no idea what was up with the penguin thing in the last chapter. Don't ask. Was that chapter not hilarious? I don't know.. I just found it odd.. -shrugs- But then, there's no accounting for taste. Perhaps I should write more of my chappies at 10 p.m... it seems to work. -shrugs again- Whatever...)

The members of the X-band (minus Jott, who had yet to melt) piled out of the jet and headed into "Haven", which was the mutant club where they were doing a gig.

So they set up, did their thing to much applause, blah blah blah.

You all aren't interested in that, probably, but before I can get to the real stuff, something you all might find interesting.

As the band was setting up, a scuzzy announcer-type dude came on stage. A very familiar scuzzy announcer-type dude. The same scuzzy announcer-type dude that had done his scuzzy thing and denied them the fruits of their labor. (In other words, this was the scuzzy announcer dude that was at the BOB and had denied them a record deal, savvy now?)

As soon as she saw him, Rogue growled loudly. Realizing who she was growling at, Remy and Kitty grabbed her arms, effectively restraining her. "Come on, can't Ah at least drain tha idiot?!"

"Like, no way Rogue! Do you actually, like, want to talk like him?!"

Rogue blinked and stopped struggling. "Good point," she muttered.

So other then that, the whole "band" thing went off without a hitch.

But you guys aren't interested in that, now are you.

So, after the roaring sucess of their band, Jamie came up and started doing requests. (Dj here, ppl, remember?)

While he was up there enjoying his newfound spot in the lime-light, the others were either dancing, or as in the case of the senior X-men (that would be Rogue, Remy, Kurt, Kitty, Pyro and Beast, who still wasn't over the penguin thing) were all getting smashed at the bar.

=ABOUT THREE HOURS AND TWENTY BOTTLES OF ASSORTED LIQUOR LATER=

Everyone involved was now drunk beyond all reason.

Hank downed a shot of vodka, grabbed Remy's trench coat, and started to strip-dance on the bar.

Needless to say, everyone found a different place to sit once he started doing that.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, Logan had showed up. He hadn't appeared to recognize any of them. In fact, after three JD's he was slurring the words to German and French drinking songs.

Kitty was giggling drunkenly and gossiping with Rogue.

And that was when Jamie finished up, and the scuzzy announcer dude came up and announced that there was going to be kareoke for the rest of the night.

Remy blinked. He suddenly had the strangest urge to go up there and sing "Iris," by the Goo goo Dolls, a song he had never even heard of until just now. But that was stupid! (-author uses her magical elfin stuff to compel him, and shouts "Do it! The magic of authors long-sacrificed compels you!"-)

He downed another shot of burboun. Ok, why not?

He went up there and started belting the words. Just be glad I still haven't figured out how to insert sound clips into this yet. It wasn't pretty. (What? I just said he would sing it! I never said I would make a big deal of it!)

Logan blinked and began to sob loudly.

Kurt looked at him. For the second time that day, he was quite drunk. "Whatssa matter with you?"

"That song always reminds me o' Rodna!"

Kurt patted him on the back. "It's ok, it's ok, what's got you in such a tizzy about zhat pig anyway?"

"She wasn't just a pig to me, do you hear me??? She wasn't just a pig to me!!!" He began to sob louder and harder.

Kurt scooted his chair away and promptly lost interest. He then went back to watching the people kareoke-uh-ing. (Well, do YOU know the verb form of kareoke???)

Kitty turned to Logan. "Ah, poor Mr. Logan, it's not that bad," she said, patting him on the back.

"Get away from me, you friggin' midget," he said.

Kitty squeaked and did as she was told.

And that was when Hank returned. Remy's trench coat was covered in chocolate, and he had bills of various worth stuffed down his speedos. "Ah, my comrades in arms!"

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing to stare at Hank. ". . ."

"Whoah..," said Kitty.

"Mah sentiments exactlah," said Rogue.

Hank looked at Logan, who had gone back to sobbing. "What's wrong, my friend?"

"Oh it's nothing. I've just had my heart ripped out, is all!" he said, showing a note to Hank.

"Dear Logan," read the note, "I hope you're well. I'm eloping with Rodney. Kisses! Rodna."

And with that Logan passed out.

=ANOTHER HOUR LATER=

Now just about everyone was passed out.

Remy had attempted to kiss Rogue, and thanks to "Dark Horizons," we all know what happens when someone does that.

Kurt and Hank had done a "Blue Fetish" strip-tease, earned about a hundred bucks, and then passed out from too much Vodka and beer.

Kitty had gotten engaged to a street post named Marvin, and was currently passed out in his arms. (-snickers at ETA-)

Logan was a broken man. He was leaning against the wall. His healing factor refused to let him just stay drunk, so now he was acting like Hugh Jackman in X-2, except now he was muttering sporadically about penguins, guinea pigs, Eddie Murphy, and something else that made him burst into tears whenever he mentioned it.

Rogue was watching kareoke, a dazed, dreamy expression on her face. As to what she was thinking about, I'd have to censor it, thank you very much.

As for Pyro, well that's what next chapters are for!

(Sooooo, yeah. Next chapter: The obligatory "Pyro goes nuts" chapter. Now all I havta do is track down my supply of MD and salted peanuts... -insert evil laughter-)