Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing naturally exludes Marvel and The Fairly OddParents.

(An: Wow, I'm being such a -busy- little Skysong! Well, technically I wrote the transition chappy last night, but you guys don't need to know that. Right. This chapter is the obligatory "Pyro-goes-crazy-and-does-something-strange" chappy. I can't claim the nefarious plot of the cockroaches; however the penguin thing is mine. Ya want it? It kind of scares me. ETA: Oh that's bloody hilarious mate. Do I know you? 'Cause my friends and I always discuss stuff like that while under the influence of sugar and insomnia... My best friend Shel-ness, for example. Her life's goal is to go cow-tipping before she's fifty. What is cow-tipping, you ask? Well, cows have this habit of falling asleep while standing up. If you give them a gentle push, they'll fall over, legs stuck out and everything. Bloody hilarious when you're drunk, and snicker-worthy when you're not. Wait.. you live in New Orleans??? Well, there goes that. -mutters to herself about ppl getting to see Mardi Gras- (I've kind of been obsessed with going there ever since me mate Rachel divulged that she went once. -sighs- I want to earn my beads, meh heh heh heh...) Oh yes, and next chapter will have an extra-long thing with Sue Anna and the professor, and a bit of Evan-bashing as well! Di: I got an idea from someone on EE! Kewl! (and I've never taken a french class in my life, so sue me) Oh, oh I love it! Cameos! More on that later.. y'know I was actually planning to do that for the sequel to Space Toast.. but I need something to tide me over to the twenty chapter mark, and that'll work!)

So Pyro, everyone's favorite Aussie, had discovered the long-awaited "Fire downtown." Oh boy oh boy firefirefire burnburnBUUUURN!!!

He bounced around while changing into his uniform. Don't ask how he can do that; this is drunk Pyro on a fire high, remember?

So he was running and running and running and was just about to start manipulating the fire... when it went out. Aaaw, man! Then he remembered the lighter in his pocket. i We'll be having a hot time tonight, yup yup! He was just about to start flaming the place when a voice by his ankle stopped him.

"Hey you! Burny guy!"

"The name's Pyro mate.. where are ya, anyway?"

"Down here," said the voice. It sounded.. vaguely Spanish or Mexican or something of the sort. Pyro looked down. Sitting on his shoe was a little frog with a bridle. But that wasn't the strange thing. Riding the frog like a horse was a cockroach in a sombrero and a loincloth. Apparently, it was what had spoken. Pyro bent, and picked up the frog. "Hey! Be careful with this! I still have fifty co-pays on it!" (The whole cockroach idea was inspired by that ep of FOP where Wanda goes on hols and cockroaches take over the world.. somewhere there's Martians and frogs as well.. I don't own it, but the twist is all mine. And anyway, imitation is the highest form of flattery!)

"Uh, sorry mate.." It never once occured to Pyro that it might be strange to talk to a cockroach. "What do you want?"

"TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION!"

"Oh, well that's well enough. But why are you talking to me?"

"I have a deal to offer you. As you can see, although my brethren are many, we are quite small. We have located a device that would allow us to endow penguins with the power of speech and to be able to burn stuff, but we need someone like-minded to activate it. We'll give you Canada!"

"Uh.. can I have Australia and the world's supply of flame-throwers too?"

"Done and done," said the cockroach cheerfully.

"One last thing mate, what's your name?"

"Apocalypse."

"I always thought Apocalypse spoke in bold.."

"Well, I don't have the vocal capacity in this body, see, and- but that's not the point! Mesmero!"

Another cockroach riding a smaller frog. "Yes, MY LORD AND MASTER?"

"Hey, how come he can speak in caps lock and you as the stronger dude can't?"

"Uhhh... shut up that's why! Anyway, Mesmero, lead this man to our doomsday device!"

"You mean Sue-"

"DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME IN MY PRESENCE! And I mean the other doomsday device, the penguin one!"

"Oh. Follow me, slave-who's-not-brainwashed!" And Mesmero!cockroach hopped off. (As for how Mesmero and Apocalypse got turned into cockroaches, that'll all be explained in the next chapter.)

=A FEW MINUTES LATER, APOCALYPSE!COCKROACH'S SECRET CLOSET LAIR=

"It's kind of cramped in here mate," said Pyro as he attempted to squeeze into the closet. It was made even harder by the dozens of cockroaches swarming around his feet that he had to avoid stepping on. Pyro didn't think that Apocaroach would take nicely to having his army wiped out in a single step.

And then of course there was the gigantic backpack-flamethrower-esque thing in the middle of the room.

"What's that?" asked Pyro, narrowly missing tripping and squashing Apocaroach.

"That is the device!" he squeaked, waving his little cockroachey hands around.

"Oh... how does it work?"

"Strap it on your back, point the nozzle at the penguin and-"

"And it sets them on fire?!" said Pyro with an evil evil grin.

"No," said Apocaroach patiently, "it allows the penguins to talk and you can control them. They can also burn things."

"Oh."

A few minutes later Apocaroach was still waiting. "Well?"

"Oh, uh right." Pyro snapped out of his trance and put the doomsday device on his back. Despite its size and bulk, it weighed only about as much as an empty backpack.

"What are you waiting for?! Go recruit those penguins! Once you have done that, we will join you! Come my frog-riding brethren! TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION AWAITS!!!" And Apocaroach and his diminutive army hopped off.

"Um, ok, whatever mate," said Pyro with a shrug. He walked out of the closet.

He headed for the zoo, straight to the penguin exhibit. He made a little fire blast and melted the glass on their underwater viewing thingy. The penguins spilled out. All in all, there was about twenty of them. He shrugged again and pressed the button on the device. There was an explosion and a flash of light, and suddenly, Pyro felt much shorter. And.. fluffy? He blinked and held his hand.. flipper in front of his face. "Bloody hell!" He was a penguin. But he was a penguin with a lighter! And an army of like-minded penguin people. "Come my penguin mates!" he yelled.. er squawked. "Our time is now!"

=A FEW MINUTES LATER, DOWNTOWN BAYVILLE, OUTSIDE CITY HALL=

At city hall, Pyro was adjusting to being a penguin. It wasn't all that different really, besides the whole hight difference and lack of opposable thumbs or indeed, any fingers at all. And of course there was the almost irresistable urge to to tapdance, for some strange reason. As it turned out, the penguins (and now Pyro) could blast fire from their flippers. This is so bloody cool!

"Now my fellow penguins-in-arms," squawked Pyro, "all we must do is wait for the arrival of Apocaroach and his minions, and we may begin!"

"What do we do while we wait?" asked General Pengy. He had red eyes, and therefore Pyro had made him the General, and himself Supreme Dictator Penguin.

"What else? We tap dance of course, my friend!" The General gave him the equivalent of a penguin grin, and the group all pulled out little hats and set them on their little penguiny heads, and took out canes and began to tap.. er more waddle then dance. It was very interesting, watching penguins doing such intricate tap routines.

=FAR AWAY, MUTANT MANOR=

Scott rushed into the common room, half dressed in his X-men uniform. "Guys guys guys!!!"

"What is it Scott?" asked Rogue, not looking up from her book.

"There's an army of fiery tapdancing penguins trying to take over city hall! And there's reinforcements! Cockroach reinforcements!!!"

The mutant group looked up. There was a group blink, and then.. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

"But I'm serious!!!"

"Reallah Scott," said Rogue between bursts of laughter. "And let me guess, the cockroaches are riding frogs?" She collapsed, still laughing.

"Like, yeah, and their leader is, like, Apocalypse!" gasped Kitty.

Scott blinked, open-mouthed. "How did you know?!" The laughter stopped.

"You can't be serious.. right?" asked Rogue.

"I AM!!! The professor said!"

The group exchanged shrugs. "Well, it's not lahke there's anythin' bettah to do," said Rogue and went off to change.

=ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, CITY HALL=

The penguins were still doing their routine, as the cockroaches had yet to arrive. I mean come on, they're riding frogs. Give them some credit.

And that was when the X-men showed up. Pyro stopped mid-waddle and blinked. "Hello mates!" he said, since he had somehow magically retained the power of speech. (Ahhh, the power of cheese. Uh, I mean, speech. Yeah. -shifty looks-) He gave them a little penguin wave. (The word penguin is just so much fun to type! Yup yup! And no, I have no idea of why I'm on such a penguin kick... my brain is a strange strange mess of neurons and electrical pulses my friends.)

The X-men (who had been doing their confident march to stop them) stopped abruptly. ". . ."

"Pyro?" asked Scott. "Is that you?"

Pyro!penguin nodded. "Yep! It's me alright! And this is General Pengy!"

The penguin with red eyes nodded at them. "Yo."

"Ok, does anyone else find this at all strange?" asked Rogue. "Ah mean, we're talkin' to a penguin. A penguin."

Pyro shrugged. "Who cares? I talk to squirrels all the time!"

Rogue nodded. "Exactly mah point."

Pyguin blinked. "Huh?"

"Well, anyway, you guys weren't planning some kind of hostile takeover, were you?" asked Scott.

"HE'S ONTO US!! BLAST HIM!!!" shouted General Pengy. The penguins sent deadly blasts of firey stuff at Scott and incidentally, Jean. They both got fried. Well done, but not burnt to a crisp, unfortunately.

Pyguin sighed and slapped his forehead. "What have I told you about preemptive orders mate?"

"Nothing. I've only been working for you for a half an hour, and fifteen minutes was tapdancing."

"Good point. And as for the hostile takeover thing, we weren't." He pointed at the oncoming wave of frog-riding cockroaches.

Now, I'm not entirely sure what happened next, so I'll check a newspaper. -pulls out a newspaper- According to this, the cockroaches triumphed, the X-men died in a fiery penguiny explosion, and Apocaroach became the leader of the free world (and several third-world countries) within the day.

That can't be right! -blinks- Oh, This is the New York Times. That explains a lot. -grabs The Bayville Star- According to this the cockroaches (minus Apocaroach and Mesmeroach) were squashed and the penguins (minus Pyguin and General Pengy) were put back in the zoo, in a non-flammable cage this time. They now do tap routines every hour, on the hour, if you're interested.

(Meh heh heh heh! So that was Pyro's nefarious penguin plot! Ok, and now something interesting: Cameos! If you would like yourself or an OC to appear in this story as a fairly main char, I will take it! For example: I will be in it, as well as my friend Kitty and my OC Jazz. I will take up to three per person. Email me the basic info: personality, powers, love interest (anyone but Remy or Rogue, savvy?) and they will be put in the next and future chapters! I don't know how they'll fit in the plot, but they will add up for madness and story-extension!)