Disclaimer: The government owns us AAAAALLL!!! I only own my twisted imagination.

(An: School here doesn't start for another week. God, I love private schools. -evil grin- Ok, here's a little explanation about a joke in this chapter: -pulls out map and taps WI with a Mr-Tomlin-esque Pointer stick- Wisconsin, disyere's remarked to as de "dairy state." So den, we do everythin' we can ta play dat up, see. So den, we have dese commercials where dis British dude, he talks 'bout de power o'cheese. Deseyere commercials have kinda died out, but ya can still see 'em on dose dere "local access channels." Ayup. (That was what most people seem to believe we Wisconsiners sound like. Contrary to popular belief, that's more of a Maine or Canadian accent. Ayup.) Heh heh heh. To dispel a nasty rumour, I have a valley girl accent, thank you very much. I'm from Southern WI see, and before I get into a complicated explanation of WI accents, here's the chapter.)

=THE NEXT DAY, MY POV=

The whole thing with Pyro had been sorted out. Yup yup. So, Rogue called me in for a distraction.

It was pretty easy, considering the supplies the mansion has. I don't do pranks at home. Everyone knows everyone. Not a good idea. But this'll be good practice for college.

I led a troupe of willing wannabes down the hall. (Willing wannabes Alix, Di, both Kitty's, and Kurt. Jazz and Alistor were nowhere to be found, and Daphine was too busy macking with Pyro.)

We ducked into Kurt's room. (he was the only one without a roomie) I checked down the hallway before locking the door. "Ok guys, here's the deal. I need a watermelon, the house keys, two things of peanut butter, and two pounds of nacho cheese. You got all that?"

They nodded solemnly. "Scatter. I need to prepare some stuff. Katie, Di, you stay with me."

=ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, THE COMMON ROOM=

"A distraction they asked for, a distraction they shall get," I whispered as I put the finishing touches on my plot.

Right now, there was no one in here, all according to plan. I walked out and whistled a bit. That was the signal. Kurt bamfed out to tell the adults about a "mission briefing."

All of the adults met in the common room. They were talking among themselves about the curious place to hold a briefing. Kurt came back and bamfed me up to the attic, which just happened to have a trapdoor above the room. The watermelon made the coolest sound when it came down... on Logan's head, unfortunately. However, it did do the job of knocking him out. Next came the peanut butter, super heated by Amara so it was something akin to warm tar. This got Beast and Storm stuck.

They were struggling to get out when the nacho cheese came down. That was just a joke. Kurt bamfed me back down and the group (me, Di, Alix, both Kitty's and Kurt) and we all said in unison, "Ah, behold the power of cheese." (That's what they say on dat dere commercial. Ayup.)

Then we ran out before Logan's healing factor could kick in and he could kill us.

=NARRATOR POV, A FEW HOURS LATER=

Rogue was quite pleased. M.A.'s distraction tactics had worked well. Logan had woken up so dazed that he hadn't even thought to look where the X-band members had disappeared to. And then of course Rodna had showed up. More on that in a bit.

Practice had went well also. Her band was getting good. Now all they had to do was find another place to do a gig.

She had also drained Jott, and had allowed M.A. and Alie to draw faces on them in clown makeup. It was amusing.

As it turned out, Alistor and Jazz had been at the B-hood house, bugging everyone within a ten-foot-radius as they worked on a super plot with Ky. Sam and Pietro had "mysteriously disappeared," to somewhere. Alistor was betting Pie's bedroom.

They were penciled in as the distraction for tomorrow.

M.A., Alie, and Kitty were now stalking Remy. He was scared. He had attempted more than once to hide in Rogue's closet.

Rogue sighed as she went into her room. There was a very suspicious lump under the blankets. "Remy, how many tahmes have Ah told ya? Just 'cause no one can see ya doesn't mean you're safe." She pulled the blankets off him and shrieked at what she saw. It was Gary Coleman and General Pengy, reading a Captain Underpants book. (Started a new runningjoke, I have. Ayup. It's a two for one deal, a-yupyup.)

She screamed again and ran out of the room. She bumped into evo-Kit, still screaming. "Like, what's wrong Rogue?!" she asked.

"Gary Coleman! God help us, the Apocalypse is upon us!" She ran off, screaming again. Apocaroach appeared, jumping out of a large black hole, Mesmeroach close behind him.

"Did someone call me?"

Mesmeroach looked around. "What are the odds that that trans-dimensional wormhole'd lead us here?" he asked incredulously.

Logan came strolling by, the world's biggest grin on his face. Rodna was perched on his shoulder. He was being followed by a string of baby hamsters, all of which were helping to carry a bottle of whiskey.

Apocaroach and Mesmeroach shrugged at each other, then jumped back into the black hole.

Let's follow them, shall we? Since Sue Anna (tm) is perfectly happy where she is, let's try something else.

=THE CONTINUING JOURNIES OF APOCAROACH!=

Today we're in the sewers.

Apocaroach and Mesmeroach, ever hopeful, sprang from the portal.

They watched in stunned silence as Jem (the alligator with a fetish for waffles and a thing for Spyke, 'member) dragged Evan. Evan was covered in some kind of pastry.. waffles perhaps? He was kicking and yelling and spikes were going everywhere. He was yelling something about how girls and waffles and alligators gave him the hives. Jem was yelling something like, "SILENCE, SLAVE!"

Apocaroach and Mesmeroach got while the getting was good.

Tune in next chapter for the ever-continuing "journies of Apocaroach!"

(No, I have no idea what the point of this chapter was either. Just a bunch of spit take jokes I suppose. No, I have no idea why Rogue has a phobia of Gary Coleman.. or wait, maybe I do! Ha! Next chapter, less "Ayups" and some things with Sabes, I believe. Ayup.)