Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I know, "beep-beep M.A." I don't own the X-men or any other thingy besides myself.
(An: -looks around- I think the OC's have passed out. They found my mother's supply of Moose Drool beer. It wasn't pretty.
Jazz: I'm still awake!
M.A.: Crap. How can you be so bloody cheerful this early anyway?
Jazz: -evil smirk- Is there such a thing as a non-evil smirk?
M.A.: Do you -ever- shut up?! -sighs- Calm. I am calm.
Jazz: Wait.. you have beer?
M.A.: Isn't that what I just insinuated? I highly doubt there's any left. Uh... the only review I got was from Di: Your new OC is named Charmaine? You see, if you, oh, say, -updated- we would know these kind of things. -clears throat and rocks back and forth- so that's it. No insanity from the OC's 'cause they're all dead to the world. Uh, by the way Jazz, what in the world is a "sacrilige stick?"
Jazz: It's a stick. For SACRILIGE! -she nods sagely-
M.A.: Okaaaaay. -blinks- You scare me. Um, anyway, chapter time!)
=THE NEXT DAY, MY POV=
Almost everyone had gotten over the whole pheremones thing. Well, everybody except for Ororo. Poor poor Ororo. She has yet to move from the fetal position. At least I don't get the blame.
Kitty and I decided to go for an all out distraction. It was getting too quiet around here.
We started with John. We crept into his room at six A.M. and whispered "Purple Peeps" in the most menacing way that one can say such a phrase.
John sat up with a start. "Whazzat?" he whispered, sounding like a frightened six-year-old.
We went over to his bed and dropped a few in his lap. He looked at us, terror in his eyes. We smiled sweetly and pointed at them. John screamed "BLOODY HELL!" and ran out screaming bloody murder. (That means he was yelling really loud. He didn't actually yell that.)
Daphine, who was apparently sitting on the floor, stared at us. We shrugged at her and she ran off to collect her boyfriend.
We walked out and went back to bed. (SEPERATELY, you perverts! Alistor: -slurring- Did someone call me? Jazz: -hits him over the head with a rolling pin- Die zombie!)
Later that morning, I came up to Rogue with a person in tow. "Hey Rogue! Look who I found!" I shoved him out in front of me. "It's Gary Coleman!"
Rogue shrieked to high heaven and ran into a wall. She fell to the ground with a thump.
Kitty and I grinned at each other. I pulled out a list and made a mark on it. "John. Check. Rogue. Check. Next up, Hank."
Kitty (who is famed the world over, well okay, half of Neillsville anyway, for her art skills) sat down at the table and drew a picture.
We then went into Hank's lab and taped said picture over his glasses. We hid in a corner to watch. Hank stumbled into the room, smelling faintly of sweat and hotdogs. He picked up his glasses and put them on. He then began to run around in circles yelling, "OH GOD OH GOD THE PENGUINS ARE EATING SHAKESPEARE! I CANNOT ESCAPE THE PENGUINY MENACE!"
Kitty and I high-fived then crept out of the room.
We then went into Logan's room. He was passed out on his bed. We smirked at each other, then went to opposite sides of the bed. We whispered "Yellow Submarine" into his ears.
Logan sat bolt upright. I pulled out a boombox and pressed a button. "In the tooooown where I was boooorn, there lived a maaan who sailed to seeeea," came blasting from the speakers. Logan screamed like a six-year-old girl and jumped out his window.
We walked out, no celebrations for that. It was scary.
"Hank, check. Logan, check. Do we really need to do Ororo anymore?"
"I don't think so. She seemed mentally scarred enough."
"Okay, moving on then. Uh, next up, Kurt. He'll be easy."
"How would you know?"
"Kurt is one of those mentally scarred for life types. With the right stimuli, we can do anything." I snickered evilly and dragged Kitty off to collect some things.
We headed into Kurt's room and headed right back out. Pyth had done our job for us. (It involved silly string, cement, and foot-long subs. The kind that goes underwater. And duct tape. Lots of it. The kind made from ducks.) We gazed at the stuff we were going to use to scare Kurt.
"What do we do with this crap?" Kitty asked.
I shrugged. "Save it and use it later, I guess."
I checked the list. "We don't have to do Xavier either. He's still hypnotized by the Pokemon. Stupid yellow rat... Uh, but that's not the point. Anyway, next would be.. uh, well next would be Evan but he doesn't live here anymore. Temporary lapse, I suppose. Well, we scared most of 'em anyway." I rolled up the list. "And we're done."
"Now what?"
"Now we hide, so we don't get killed by Rogue."
=A FEW HOURS LATER, NORMAL POV=
Rogue was pissed. The practice had went well enough yes, but she had been forced to reveal her fear of Gary Coleman. Why was she scared of him? Nobody except for Rogue knows, and she's not telling. Another reason she was pissed, she couldn't find M.A. Why would she want M.A., you ask? Why, to murder her, you silly neener-heads. (Jazz: Is that going to be another running joke? M.A.: It's only a running joke if I make a joke about it being a running joke. Therefore, it's not.)
She growled and went off to torture Remy.
=THE CONTINUING JOURNIES OF APOCAROACH=
Today we're in Cairo. (I'm really desperate here.. I'm completely faking it.)
Apocaroach and Mesmeroach, ever hopeful, sprang from the black hole. "Hey, this place looks familiar!" said Apocaroach, looking around. He saw sand. Lots and lots of sand. Just sand. Nothing but sand.
"What's familiar about it, sir?"
"The sand."
"Ah."
". . .Well, it seems Sue Anna (tm) is not here, and a Gucci isn't within our sights either. Back in the hole."
Mesmeroach shrugged and jumped into the wormhole with him.
Tune in next chappy for the ever continuing "Journies of Apocaroach!"
(Well, it won't be continuing if you guys don't give me suggestions. Sadness. Still a tad off my feed, so solly Chollie if this was not to your liking, honoured sirs and ma'ams. Shameless plug: I wrote a songfic. A funny songfic. It's called Redneck woman, and if you like people in cowboy hats and Rogue in lingerie, go read it. Of course, there's other stuff too, but who cares about that? Zany quote: "The muffin isn't picky Timmy, nor is it tasty. But it is powerful. ALL HAIL THE MUFFIN!" Okay, I'm begging you people here: I NEED SUGGESTIONS! I cannot live without them. Or rather, this fic cannot live without them. Any suggestion you give will at the very least make the chapters better but it could also give me plot-extending ideas.)
