Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or Splenda... Alistor: What is this "Splenda?" Jazz: You're not allowed to talk during the disclaimers! Shut up!

(An: Jazz: -to OC's- Well, the author says that we're to write her chapter.

Alistor: Why?

Jazz: She said something about uh.. a pint of chocolate ice cream, a long book, and.. uh, stalking Elijah Wood I believe.

-female OC's nod in understanding but Alistor looks confused-

Ali: How does that sum up to making us write her chapter?

Jazz: Men. -patiently- She's mad at us because we trashed the house when we got drunk. She couldn't stop us because she's just a kid. She's off to bury her sorrows in cute guys and sugar.

Ali: -still clearly confused- Ah.

Jazz: -sighs and shakes head- Well anyway, she's left a list of demands. -takes out list, begins to read it, gasps- Oh my. -sideways glance at Alistor-

Ali: What?

Jazz: Never mind. What does "Burninate" mean? -crickets- We may as well get started.)

=THE NEXT DAY=

M.A. and Katie were slinking along the hallways of the mansion, hoping to not be spotted by Rogue or Remy. All they had to do was cross the common room and then they could get out through the kitchen.

What they found in the common room was just plain scary. The entire room was covered in some powdery white substance. Jazz and Alistor were sitting on opposite sides of a large scorch mark in the empty spot behind the couch. M.A. and Kitty walked in, leaving tracks in the stuff. "What happened here?" asked M.A.

"We made a bomb. It blew up," said Jazz dazedly.

M.A. wiped a bit of the white stuff on her finger. She gave it a tentative lick. "You made a bomb out of sugar?"

"No," said Jazz, blinking. "We made a bomb out of Splenda. Big difference."

"How do you make a bomb out of Splenda anyway?" asked Kitty, quite confused.

"We used Splenda cubes," said Alistor. "We put some explosive stuff in a container and covered it in sugar cubes. But we dropped it. The explosion.. man that was cool. I guess it ground the sugar into powder."

Jazz nodded. They both got up and walked out.

"What was with them?" asked Kitty.

"Shock, probably," said M.A. with a shrug. "Come on, let's get out of here before we get the blame or Rogue shows up."

=AT THE B-HOOD HOUSE=

Ky was annoying Todd and Fred by asking "Why?" over and over and over. She had on an innocent expression like she really did want to know why, so they didn't tell her to shut up or smack her.

Pietro was flirting with Sam and Alix simultaniously. Alix had this look on her face like she had died and gone to heaven. In her opinion, the only problem with the situation was that she didn't have a drink and that Pie wasn't naked.

=BACK AT THE INSTITUTE=

Daphine was making out with Pyro when M.A. skidded in. "Hiya, need to borrow John for a moment." She grabbed him and ran out, leaving a very confused Daph behind.

" i Quoi? /i "

M.A. ran into Scott's room, where he and Jean were making out. "BURNINATE THEM!" she shouted.

"Uh, okay!" said Pyro, ever eager to play with fire. He took out his lighter and burned them to a crisp. "What was the occasion?" he asked, surveying his work.

"They were making out. We don't want to risk the paradoxes that would come with Jott children, now do we?"

"I suppose not," said Pyro with a shrug and went back to Daph.

M.A. grinned and went in the kitchen. Alie was sitting at the table, staring at Remy. A rapturous expression was on her face. Needless to say, Remy wasn't too displeased either.

M.A. grabbed an M.D. from the fridge. (An: That was a cheap shot. Jazz: Where did you come from?!) She was quite surprised to find herself holding a doctor. She replaced him and grabbed a Mountain Dew.

Alistor and Jazz came in, holding a carton covered in Splenda cubes. (Alistor: No, actually, that second time it was just sugar.) Okay, sugar cubes. They smiled sweetly and dropped it. The thing exploded, covering everything in a fine white dust.

They took out another, saying something about having to do the front lawn. They did so, and headed into the woods, for reasons unknown.

=A FEW HOURS LATER=

Rogue had gotten her distraction. She was quite pleased. She had yet to get her revenge on M.A., but wasn't there a saying about how revenge is a dish best served cold or something?

She was trying to remember it while sitting on the couch when her thoughts were rudely interrupted. Alistor and Jazz stumbled in. Their hair was mussed, Alistor's shirt was on backwards as were Jazz's goggles, and both of them looked dazed but happy.

They walked through, leaning on each other and not seeming to notice anyone.

Rogue blinked. "What the.." She shrugged and went off to pop Remy's ego.

=THE EVER CONTINUING JOURNIES OF APOCAROACH=

Today we're reporting from Mag's base. (This thing is on its last legs, really. Suggestions, I plead, no, I beg of you ppl!)

Apocaroach and Mesmeroach, ever hopeful, leapt from the portal.

"Welcome to Supervillains Anon, how may I help you cope?" asked a person, bending down to say hello. It was Sabretooth.

Apocaroach blinked. "Gary Coleman," he said and Sabretooth ran off screaming.

"How did you know he was afraid of Gary Coleman my lord?" asked Mesmeroach.

"Rogue's afraid of it. Her fear makes no sense, therefore Sabretooth must be afraid of it and has passed the fear on to her."

Mesmeroach nodded slowly. "Uh right."

"We're not going to find anything here. Back to the portal!"

And so Apocaroach and Mesmeroach sprang back into the wormhole from whence they came.

Tune in next chapter for the ever-continuing "Journies of Apocaroach!"

(Yeah yeah, short chappy, I know. But that's what you get for three updates in a day and a one-shot. Meh. Zany Quote:"This here's Stan the Man Uris. Now, Stanley-boy here's a Jew, which means he has a big nose and says Oy a lot. Also, he killed Christ. At least, that's what Victor Criss told me one day. I been after Sam ever since. I figure if he's that old, he ought to be able to buy us some beer. Right Stan?" "I think that must have been my father." "A Good One! Stan the Man Gets Off A Good One! Great Moments in History! Yowza-Yowza-YOWza!")