Disclaimer: Marvel is not mine-o! Marvel is not mine-o! Daph: Why didn't I steal her drink when I had de chance? Other OC's: Marvel is not ours-o! Marvel is not ours-o!
(AN: Daph: The author's on a sugar high, so she asked me t'do her responses. 'M hidin' here in her basement with her laptop. 'M scared. Really I am. There really -are- rats here!
M.A.: Aaaaw get on wit' it ya bugger.
Daph: Uh, anyway. Saskia: ...I wish to kill you. Why did you create me, and then forget me, HMM? HMM?! -glares- Uh.. you think the author's a nutter? Got that right anyway. Uh, but anyway, the author would -checks list- like to state that's she's putting some Alie and Daph stuff in here to appease you.
M.A.: -slurring somewhat- The next one I would like ta do myself.
Daph: How can you get drunk on grape soda anyway?!
M.A.: Anything is possible with the right amount of sugar! -sticks finger in the air- I may be strange but I'm proud of it!
Daph: -nods while edging away-
M.A.: Aaaaanyway, uh, ETA: (ugh verse) I am flattered that ya would consider me random enough to become worthy of tha title "Queen of random", but tha problem with that is it's taken. By somebody named Regina. My title is "Mistress of Madness". -goes off in search of MD-
Daph: She creep m'out. Uh, Bobdeheadlesschicken: De author wants to get rid of dem anyway, although 'cordin' to her, it won't happen til de last chapter.
M.A.: Yeah, that's right that is!
Daph: You scare me.
M.A.: I know I do, that the idea, ya dig?
Daph: -edges even farther away and falls off her chair- Oh, de pain, de pain!
M.A.: Why don't we just do tha chapter thing now? -is listening to Seether and hums along-)
AN HOUR AFTERWARDS
M.A. had gotten into the Mountain Dew with Kitty and now they were bouncing around singing "BLACK SOCKS THEY NEVER GET DIRTY THE MORE THAT YOU WEAR THEM THE BLACKER THEY GET SOMEDAY YOU'LL PROBABLY WASH THEM BUT SOMETHING KEEPS TELLING YOU DON'T DO IT YET!"
"Wouldn't that be brown socks?" asked Di dazedly. She was hanging out with them and her brains were torturously slowly draining away.
"BLACK SOCKS!!!" shouted M.A. and Kitty in unison.
Alix came in holding a screwdriver. (That would be a drink, not an actual screwdriver numbnuts!) She gulped it in one.. gulp and started singing herself. "My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf so it stood ninety years on the floor- on the floor-!"
"Oh oh I know that one!" shouted M.A. and started singing it with her.
Alie sighed and rubbed her ears. "VICODIN!" she shouted. "My kingdom for some vicodin!"
Alix stopped singing for a moment. "Oooh Vicodin I like that stuff! My aunty takes it when she gets a headache and ooh it makes her so happy!"
M.A. and Kitty seemed to forget they were there and started singing, "This is the song that never ends!" at the top of their voices. Alix drained another screwdriver and joined in.
ANOTHER HOUR LATER
Rogue came in and sighed. "Oh Lord, it's a regular idiot convention."
Alie turned to her, eyes hollow. "They never stop. They never shut up. They never stop, ever!" She ran over to Rogue and grabbed her shirt. "THEY NEVER STOP, do you hear me?! They are endless! ENDLESS!" She screamed, quite high-pitched and accidentally touched Rogue's skin. Rogue backed off, but she got enough of Alie to start talking in a partial English accent. It was fascinating! -bobs head- Oh wait, this isn't my POV is it.. oops!
M.A. paused in her happy dancing to say, in a rare moment of clarity, "Well we are only 13, I mean, give us some credit!" Then she grinned insanely and went back to dancing and singing.
Rogue rubbed her head. "Oh bloody hell... what the HELL?! I sound like.. like I'm British!"
"Yeah well, that would be what you would sound like wit' her accent, no?" asked Daphine, leaning against the wall and shaking her head. She and Rogue actually got on quite well, after Daphine got over the whole Romy thing. And figured out that it was a joke as well, that helped a lot yes.
Alie recovered fairly quickly from the assault and started running around in circles yelling "THEY NEVER SHUT UP!!!!" Did I mention she had had several beers herself? That really wasn't helping.
"Yeah, well, Ah was goin' ta tell these idiots here we havta be goin' old mate- dammit!- but they don't seem to be in any state to understand."
"So how do we get 'em on de bus?"
"Oh, that's easy, mate! GODDAMMIT!" She sounded extremely British on that bit. It ticked her off. She was Southern, kraz-dang it!
She walked off, and returned with a large dart gun. She aimed and fired. Alix, Alie, Kitty and M.A. all collapsed in a heap with darts stuck in various places on their personages. Rogue snapped her fingers and Logan and Hank came in and picked up two each of the unconcious girls.
"How'd y'get dem to do dat?" asked Daph, amazed.
"Blackmail, baby. Ah got tha tape from Alistor," she said, holding out a nondescript video tape. "It wasn't pretty but it was damn sure worth it."
ABOUT SIX HOURS LATER, THE "X-BUS", SOMEWHERE IN ARIZONA.. I THINK
As it turned out, Xavier owned a bus, which he kept to the back of the garage. Like all his X-acutribants (I know not how to spell that, honored Sai -bows and taps throat- Daph: What the..? Jazz: -pauses in her destruction- That would be the "the-author's-on-a-sugar-high-and-feels-the-need-to-make-an-obscure-Dark-Tower-ref-that-only-about-six-people-will-get" thing. M.A.: Can't I have my fantasys? I'd like to believe that about eight people might get it. Is that too much to ask?) it was black and sleek and high-techy and supery. (Daph: What's with all the "Y"'s? M.A.: -shrugs- I was going to use "Ish" but that reminds me too much of Ishandahalf. And anyway, supery sounds cooler then superish. So ner. Daph: And what's wit' all de An's? M.A.: What's with -your- lack of accent? Daph: Shutting up now.)
So anyway, everyone loaded into the X-bus. It was quite entertaining, watching them load their stuff and try to get the various hoppers onto it.
Katie and M.A. had stayed passed out for the time being, but Alix and Di, with their increased older-people metabolisms, had woken up. They were now bouncing around the back of the bus, singing "Black Socks" and drinking.
However, there was a problem when Kitty and M.A. -did- wake up. M.A., who was seated next to General Pengy, screamed and attempted to jump out the window. Kitty, who was seated next to Logan, who was quite drunk, screamed as well and hit her head on the window and passed out. M.A. jumped out of her seat and ran down the aisle of the bus. She cowered behind Alie, shaking like a leaf.
"What's the matter mate?" asked Alie, slurring ever so slightly.
"That that that arcane thing!" M.A. shrieked, pointing at General Pengy, who waved.
"Who, Pengy?" asked Pyro. "Rogue said we could bring a friend!" He grinned
M.A. pointed at Pengy again, terror in her eyes. "Do you KNOW what that CREATURE was inspired by?!"
". . ." Everyone in the bus, including Pengy, gave her blank looks.
"He was inspired by a real penguin!" She shrieked again and tried to hide beneath the seat.
Remy spotted Pengy and screamed. He attempted to join M.A. Rogue and Daph rolled their eyes.
"Whassa matter with you?" slurred Alix, after staring at Remy's ass.
Remy peeked out from beneath the seat. The light reflected off both his eyes and M.A.'s glasses, causing an awful glare which reflected into the front of the bus toward the driver.. but we'll get to that in a second. "His eyes are red!" Remy squeaked. M.A. nodded sagely.
"Remy, have you looked in a mirror latelah?" asked Rogue, raising her eyebrows.
"Yes, but dere a difference! M'eyes are sexy and smolderin'! His eyes shine like de red eyes o' Satan!" He wiggled further back.
Now, back to that beam of light. In a rare flash of extremely bad luck.. no wait, this is the X-men, bad luck follows them everywhere. Ok, scratch that. In a common flash of extremely bad luck, the light blinded Hank when it hit his glasses and reflected into his eyes. He yelled something like "MY EYES MY EYES MY BRAIN MY BRAIN!!!" He let go of the steering wheel and bumped it. The bus drove off the highway and into a desert. The bus, not used to such abuse (Daph: What abuse? M.A.: SHUT UP!!!) broke down with a wheeze.
(M.A.: Woohoo! Cliffhanger! -does the cliffhanger dance- "Cliff Hanger, hanging from a CLIIIIIFFF.. and that's why he's called Cliff Hanger!" Daph: -incredulous look- Where de hell do you come up wit' dis crap? M.A.: Between the Lions, mostly. God, I love that show. Daph: And the chapter's not over, either. M.A.: So?)
THE EVER CONTINUING "JOURNIES OF APOCAROACH"
Today we're reporting from.. Alix's brain? That can't be right! -flips through cue-card and gasps- But it is... God this place is scary. Apparently, it's Alix's brain on a vicodine and screwdriver high! Run for the hills! -runs off screaming, to be replaced by the announcer bunny from Between the Lions-
Bunny: The author told me to narrate. As if it wasn't bad enough she put me in Space Toast.. geeze! Uh, anyway, right. -clears throat-
Apocaroach and Mesmeroach, ever hopeful, sprang from the black hole.
What they saw scared the shit out of them. The sky was purple (I'm going to give a bunny to anyone who gets that ref ppl!), there were various bits and pieces of S&M-ish parefenalia (no, I don't know how to spell that either.. damn you wordpad!) scattered here and there, and there was a shrine to Quicksilver and Remy in the corner. It appeared to have recently been covered in whipped cream. There was Evenescance blasting in the background. What wasn't pink and fluffy was either black and creepy or covered in piercings and/or blood. (-Dr. Evil-ish laughter is heard-)
Apocaroach and Mesmeroach screamed like little girls. The sound of approaching footsteps was all it took. "BACK IN THE THING!" shouted Apocaroach with all his roachy might.
They sprang back in.
Tune in next chappy for the ever-continuing "Journies of Apocaroach!"
(Ok, seriously. That feature is on its last legs. I would use BTHC suggestions but I want to do that in Vegas. Speaking of Vegas, next chapter will feature the B-hood's exodus.. which like the Biblical and X-menical exoduses, will end in the desert. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!Uh, yeah. I would LOVE your suggestions. I know this chapter was short but my brains a tad fried. School. Evil school. And tomorrow I start Catechism. -Waves bye-bye to what was left of her sanity- Zany Quote: "I know that the wait is excrutiating but that's why we're here, to make your lives a living hell!" Ok, this one is too strange to not share A.S.A.P. Pat Sejack said this. PAT SEJACK. -gives the ppl a minute to wrap their minds around that. What? I just find it strange.)
