Disclaimer: Marvel belongs to whoever Marvel belongs to. Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, I believe.
(An: Ok, you all might have figured out who the mystery villain is by now.. and if you haven't, well, then you're strange.
Jazz: Stranger then you?
M.A.: Would it kill you to keep your mouth shut once in a while?! Uh, but anyway: I have the next.. five chapters planned out, and then I think this'll be done! Are you not amazed? Or disappointed?
Jazz: The buggers don't care.
M.A.: -starts to twitch-
Jazz: You should really get that looked at.
M.A.: -growls faintly- I may as well do responses before I murder you. Cass: Oh, I is so happy! Of course, there's not that -much- competition... and nothing compares to TATDATXM. That story rocks out loud. And it looks like a bunch of roman numerals when you put it like that. BTHC: ...Ah. Ok. I'll use that, since everyone's going to be drunk and stuff. -grin- Di: I'm sorry but it's just about the only joke I can make with her.. so yeah. Oh yes, about the wine cooler thing: My friend Heather said the lunch menu was more like dinner at some resteraunt, except that they served milk. I suggested that they serve wine coolers, and that's how we got into that topic. What the teachers did was pretty much made up by her. Just needed to clear that up.)
LATER, THE NEXT DAY, AROUND 7:00 P.M.
The band was setting up for their big gig. Of course, they were only the opeing act, but hey, who cared about Britney Spears and Celine Dion. I certainly don't.
They went over quite well. After all the screaming teeny-boppers, blonde bimbos, thirty-year-old housewives, and vile fourty-year-old men got over the shock of having a -rock- band start for the ballad-singing European and the Pop Princess.. they went over quite well.
Especially considering how nice looking Rogue and Gambit were. (-nasty smile-)
But none of us are interested in that, now are we?
What you all are interested in is what happened when they got drunk, no?
So the group (the band, the B-hood, and the hoppers) headed into the bar (which was in the casino) to get drunk, like they had so very very many times already in this story.
Now, most of them being underage, they weren't allowed to have that much to drink. Being a "Special Guest" only gives you so many priveliges, you know.
The group was walking through the casino (perhaps staggering would be a better term) since the management had booted them from the bar. They were walking along, when Rogue spotted a little black box sitting alone and abandoned by the exit. "What's that?" she asked.
M.A. looked over at it. "Knowing me, it's an Arbitrarily Placed Plot Device (patent pending). It's either a power negater-" she was cut off as Rogue ran off to grab it, "Or it could be a BOMB!" she shouted, trying to catch Rogue's attention. "Knowing me, it's probably the former though."
"Why would it be a bomb?" asked Roberto, getting his only original line in this whole saga. "Got that right."
"Because I like to blow stuff up. But, considering the situation, it's most likely-" She was shut up by Rogue's scream of delight when she discovered that the little black box was indeed, a power negater. "Yep." M.A. nodded sagely.
But, there was a downside. As Rogue and the group staggered through the auditorium, a small figure jumped upon the stage. No, it was neither Apocaroach nor Mesmeroach, instead it was (-dramatic music plays-) INVADER ZIM!!!! With him was his robot servant, GIR, and Minimoose, which is basically a floatin' squeak toy shaped like a moose that is mini. (-does Invader Zim-esque evil laughter- Sorry, just couldn't resist! Invader Zim is absolutely wonnerful, IMHO, anyway.)
It was then that Apocaroach and Mesmeroach came on the stage. Invader Zim had used his Urkian (is that how you spell it? I haven't seen the show in -years-.) technology to make them larger. (Funny how he can't do that himself. See, his arcane alien race judge rank with height. Zim is the shortest, and he's loyal to "The Almighty Tallest", savvy?)
"Ah, the X-men, my old foes. So we meet again," said Mesmeroach.
The X-men and the B-hood nodded warily at them. The hoppers just stood off to the side looking stupid and placing bets on the outcome.
Now, since I feel like resurrecting an old running joke, and since Apocaroach has regained his stature (if not his form), he will be speaking as he had been. Apocaroach stepped forward. "Now on with the business of the killing. Perhaps I should provide us with some, " he pulled a lever and a gigantic, stage-filling lightbulb came up. "Iluminaaation."
"You're going to kill us with a lightbulb?!" asked Rogue and several others we don't care about incredulously.
M.A. sighed and shook her head. "The bad villain puns just write themselves, don't they."
Apocaroach turned to her. "Yes, well, I don't get payed if I don't make a few a story, you know. And now back to the killing."
"Yes, but you're not getting payed at all!" said M.A.
"Petty details! " said Apocaroach, flapping a hand. He pulled the lever back farther and the lightbulb turned on.
"Now how is this supposed to kill us again?" asked Rogue, tapping her foot.
"You will roast at the hands of 'The Lightbulb of DOOOOOMM!!!!!'" shouted Apocaroach.
Now, as anyone who's ever used an Easy Bake oven or something similar may know, lightbulbs don't cook things fast. At best, they can roast marshmellows after about an hour or so. (I'm not exaggerating. While the substances the oven produced were tempting and delicious.. they took two hours minimum to bake usually.) Give Apocaroach and Mesmeroach some credit though, won't you? I mean, they've been turned into bugs. Their brains were small enough as it was, but now they're smaller then a pebble, probably. (Not that differentiates from the normal size.. but yeah.) And plus, they were bugs. Bugs roast on my lightbulbs all the time. (As I write this, all I must do to offer proof is to look up. The flourescent light above my head is littered with them. Quite creepy.) So that added an extra level of fear and quasi-sanity. For them, anyway.
The X-men just shrugged at each other. Ray walked up, and getting his only cameo in this as well, zapped out the source, shorting the bulb out. "Why don't I get a better cameo, huh?" he asked, poking M.A. in the chest.
She backed off. "Dude, I'm a girl. You're not supposed to poke me there." She sighed. "And there's the subtle innuendo joke for the chapter."
"How was that subtle?" asked Alix.
"In my sick mind, that's what passes for subtle, ok? And now there's going to be a spit-take joke. God, I'm so predictable!"
Kitty patted her on the back. "Yep, ya are," she said, shaking her head. M.A. glared at her and Kitty sprang back. "Don't hit me!" (Sorry Kit, just couldn't resist. I smack anyone who says something I feel is out of line.. it's like the fact that I bash anything I can reach with my mallet.)
She growled faintly. "Urge to kill... rising..." She smacked her forehead. "And there it is folks, the obligatory spit-take joke!" (The reason why I bash myself so much: My bashing-mallet is a vicious thing. It thirsts for bashing-ness. When it cannot reach a target.. it often turns on me.)
Meanwhile, up on stage, the villains were getting a tad bored. They understood however that the author need her precious spit-takes and bashing to live, live I tell you! Ahem. (Reviews are just an addiction I have. I don't need them to live, I just need them for my overall well-being.)
But anyway, GIR in particular was bored. (Zim and Minimoose understood that injokes had to be made so the author could be sated.) The little blue and white robot rocked back and forth on his heels and hummed to himself, something like this, "Doo do doo, do doo do do doo doo do!" He got bored with this quite quickly though, and started dancing around the stage, singing what he called, "The Doom song."
Alie blinked. "What's with the robot?" she asked.
M.A. shrugged, since she was the only one who had ever watched that show. "I heard that he was made from spare parts and a frozen yogurt machine. What do you expect, Einstein?"
"Good point."
Invader Zim, seeing that the author was done, snapped out of his trancelike state and pulled another lever. "Now it's MY turn!" he shouted and laughed evilly.
"Your turn for what?"
"To try and kill you, of course," said Zim in a patient "Duh" tone. He tugged a bit more on the lever and a gigantic ball with a long, thick, plastic finger came out of a platform in the floor.
"You're going to kill us. With a finger," said Logan, blinking. There was a group blink, and then everyone burst into laughter.
"Do not LAUGH at the device!" shouted Zim, waving his arms around. "You will BOW to Urkian might, pitiful Earthlings!"
Minimoose squeaked in agreement.
"What are you going to do," asked M.A., gasping for breath, "poke us to death?!"
"Why, yes, we are," said Mesmeroach.
"It will be a Poke of DOOOMM!" shouted Zim.
"What is it with you people and the 'of doom' thing?" asked Ororo. She was slightly pissed off, since she couldn't get to her mini-bar and get properly drunk
"Adding an 'of Doom' can make anything sound cool," said Zim, and Minimoose and GIR nodded with him.
"Well, that is true," said Hank, getting a pointless cameo of his very own.
Zim shook himself. "But that is not the POINT! On with the Poking of Doom.. uh, ing!" He pressed a button on a remote that appeared out of nowhere (like the levers, it is a good example of deus ex machina, which is Latin for, "Stupid-ass plot device that appears out of nowhere.") which.. for fear of an inevitable pun, got the ball rolling.
The ball rolled towards them. However, it was quite slow and everyone just stepped out of its way. The giant finger got broken off when it tangled with the seats, if you wanted to know.
"Well, that didn't work," said Zim sadly. Minimoose gave a deflated kind of squeak, and GIR just changed into his dog costume and started running around yelling, "I'm a weasal! I'm a weasal! WHEEEE!" (This is paraphrased from an actual episode.)
Apocaroach sighed. "Well, I guess we'll have to go for the dumb-ass approach. " He pulled a lever and atrapdoor appeared beneath where Rogue, Remy, and Logan were standing. " That was lacking in all finesse. I feel so dirty. "
Just then Sue Anna (tm) appeared. She looked as pissed as she could look.. which wasn't much. She growled loudly (in her mind anyway) and turned Ky into a hawk for no apparent reason. She held up a sign. "Go, kill and peck out people's eyeballs!" it proclaimed.
Ky!hawk gave a hawky shrug and went over and started eating Mesmeroach. Apocaroach attempted to get while the getting was good, but Sue Anna (tm) turned him into a snail. Ky!hawk paused in her Mesmeroach-eating to snap up Apocasnail. Darn, just doesn't have the same ring to it!
Now, I bet you're probably wondering what happened to Romy and Logan. We'll get to them. After all, what else are next chappys for?
(Is that not an amazing chapter? ...No? Oh well. Anyway, the next chapter: Romy and Logan's amazing adventure, or more fun with plumbing! Now, here's an idea I have: I'm considering starting an American Mcgee's Alice (a computer game)/ X-men crossover. What say ye, yay or nay? (yay means yes, btw.) Basically it'd just consist of dropping Remy and Rogue (and possibly Kitty and Kurt) into the Alice world. Zany Quote: "Friends, Romans, countryman, lend me your ears!" -rabbit walks up, shrugs- "Okay." -takes ears off head and hands them to speaker-)
