31. The Best Laid Plans
"Aragorn, get up." The voice hissed. Aragorn blinked the sleep from his eyes until the figure hovering over him solidified.
"Legolas, it is not even dawn!" he said angrily, rolling over and pulling the blankets over his head. "Let me sleep." He was not feeling particularly pleasant today and the last thing he wanted was to be dragged from his bed by his best friend.
"Either you will get up of your own will or I will make you!" Legolas said angrily "Now get out of bed!" Aragorn threw back the blankets, glaring at the elf savagely as his temper snapped.
"Go to Mordor." he snarled "Just get out of my room."
Legolas was a bit taken aback. In all his young life the human had never acted out in anger but the elf was too determined to let the outburst intimidate him. He took hold of the front of Aragorn's shirt, yanking him from the bed and setting him on his feet.
"Now get dressed." Legolas insisted, clapping him on the shoulder with a thin smile. "We are going hunting." The smile slipped from his face as he noticed the haggard appearance of the young human. There were dark circles under his eyes which were red and a defeated slump to his shoulders. All in all he bore the look of a man who had lost his dearest friend.
"Estel," he said, his voice softening "are you ill?" Aragorn let out a heart wrenching sigh, dragging a hand over his face as he walked to the terrace doors, staring out into the woods with empty eyes. "Just leave me be, Legolas."
"I would not even if I could." the elf replied "I need your help, but even if I did not I would not leave you like this."
"What is so important about a hunt that you require my presence?" Aragorn asked heavily, laying his head against the door frame, "can you not hunt just as well on your own?"
"Aye, I could," Legolas agreed "but I am not hunting alone... I am hunting with Undomiel."
"Undomiel?" Aragorn asked in confusion "I do not know her."
"There is no reason you should." Legolas said with a smirk "She has not been here in your lifetime. We are old friends."
"Then enjoy your hunt." Aragorn turning back to the terrace.
"I am afraid I am in need of a... chaperone." Legolas said uneasily, Aragorn turned to look at him as if he were mad and Legolas continued hastily "We have been friends long years but now the lady wishes for us to be... more."
"And I take it you do not?" Aragorn asked.
"She is as dear to me as a sister." Legolas sighed heavily, "but only a sister... I would not hurt her for all of Arda, but I cannot..." His voice trailed off as Aragorn began to nod.
"I will come." he agreed in resignation. Just because he was miserable did not mean that the rest of Imladris should be as well. He moved past Legolas as he made his way to the bathing chamber and the elf grasped his arm, stopping him.
"Estel, truly you look unwell." Legolas said, a hint of concern in his voice. "Will you not tell me what troubles you?" Aragorn heaved a sigh, shaking his head.
"Nothing that threatens my life, my friend." he replied dejectedly.
"Brother you do not look well." Rumil stated, his brow creasing. Haldir sat on the couch of their private sitting room, his shoulders slumped and his elbows resting on his knees. His gazed was fixed on the low table with a vacant stare and Rumil settled on the couch across from him nervously.
"Haldir?"
"I am fine Rumil." Haldir replied, sounding frighteningly sober. "Do not trouble yourself over me."
"You do not look fine." Rumil replied uneasily. This was not good, a drunken, depressed Haldir was one thing. A sober despairing one was entirely another. Rumil knew that he had spent the evening with Legolas, which in and of itself was odd. He and Orophin had spent much time with Legolas and Arwen, even as elflings but Haldir had always avoided the prince. They had obviously been drinking, though not enough to be considered too much.
Rumil almost liked the angry, hung-over Haldir better.
"Have you nothing better to do than fret like an elleth?" Haldir asked, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"I do not fret." Rumil snapped, bounding to his feet. His anger dissipated almost instantly when he realized Haldir's smile did not reach his eyes. He sat down beside his brother this time, worry plain on his face.
"I do not fret about anything that is not important." he amended. Haldir smirked, shaking his head as he drew an arm around Rumil's shoulders. "I worry about you Haldir... you... you are more my Adar than my brother you know."
"I know." Haldir replied, giving him a rough hug.
"You were a good parent." Rumil said simply.
"And you were a horrible elfling." Haldir replied, Rumil stared at him open mouthed as he continued, "You were ill behaved, disobedient, filthy... I still cannot believe the Lord and Lady allowed you to remain in Lothlorien."
"I was not filthy!" Rumil protested.
"If you were not filthy it was because I was forced to bathe you nine times a day.
"Really!" Rumil sulked "I try to be considerate and this is the thanks I get! Next you will tell me I was an embarrassment."
"No," Haldir smirked, both elves looked up as the bedroom door opened and Orophin strode into the room, a besotted grin on his face.
"Good morning my brothers." he said with a happy sigh "Is it not a glorious day?"
"He was." Haldir added, nodding in Orophin's direction. Rumil fought to keep in a chuckle.
"I was what?" Orophin asked in confusion.
"You were out when that letter came for you last evening." Haldir replied without missing a beat as he indicated the letter lying on the table. Orophin snatched it up with a grin, very nearly giddy as he tore open the letter.
"No one should be that happy." Rumil said with conviction as he watched his brother's widening smile as he read. "What does it say?"
"It says that you are wrong!" Orophin replied tauntingly, very nearly giggling with glee as handed over the letter. Rumil took it from him with a frown, examining in closely before beginning to read.
Dear Orophin,
In light of recent events I would hope you understand that I hold some suspicion as to your motivation in seeking me. However, your most recent declaration has served to soften my heart toward you and I think now it would be only fair to hear you out. If you are sincere in your pursuit then meet me at mid afternoon in the Hall of Fire. Perhaps then we might learn our hearts in this matter, and if I shall be,
Your Lady
"Whatever did you say to her last night?" Rumil asked, his eyes growing wide.
"I haven't the faintest notion!" Orophin replied happily.
"Rhach!" Rumil swore softly, "Anything that would work so well on Meril would win any elleth."
"This is an example of winning her over?" Haldir asked with a confused expression as Rumil nodded. "I would hate to see her annoyed then."
"Believe me," Rumil replied with a shudder as Orophin wandered aimlessly around the room, humming to himself "I have seen it, and it is not something I ever wish to see again."
"I do appreciate this." Legolas said as he watched Aragorn adjust his horse's tack. The human only nodded silently in reply and Legolas frowned. Aragorn was far too quiet, he had barely spoken a handful of words since Legolas had dragged him from his bed. If the elf did not know better he would have sworn the human were in love.
But no one in love could look that miserable.
Legolas heard the stable door open and he drew in an unsteady breath, steeling himself.
"Undomiel!" He said brightly as he walked to her, "You look... lovely as ever." It was an outright lie. Arwen looked terrible. She was pale and her eyes were red from crying. It nearly tore his heart out. A stab of guilt hit him as he considered that she might have been weeping over his lack of response to her letter. For a moment he actually considered courting her just so he would never have to see her so distraught again.
"Good morning Legolas." She replied softly, putting on her best face.
"I hope you do not mind, I invited a friend." he said quickly, taking her hand. Arwen very nearly scowled, the last thing she wanted was to be forced to spend the morning with another boorish elf bent on impressing her.
Legolas winced inwardly at her expression. Obviously she had not planned on company and was not amused by the turn of events. At least, he reasoned, he had been right to think he needed a chaperone.
"Of course not." Arwen replied with a polite smile.
"Good," Legolas said leading her to the back of the stable where Aragorn was saddling the horses. "I know you'll get along wonderfully. May I introduce Aragorn..." Legolas's voice trailed off as Aragorn straightened up from adjusting the saddle. The human's mouth fell open and Arwen's eyes narrowed to menacing slits.
"Lord Aragorn." Arwen spat out the words, her face a mask of contempt.
"Lady Arwen." Aragorn acknowledged, a frown on his own face. He felt betrayed. Deep inside he had thought she might at least be fond of him. All the time she had been flirting with him she had been pursuing the prince of Mirkwood.
"Ah, I see you've already met!" Legolas said forcing a grin. "Splendid! Shall we be off then?"
"I am at the end of my tether!" Elladan insisted as he followed not more than a pace behind Elrohir who was trying valiantly to ignore his twin as he headed toward the ranges. "You will tell her! It is not open for debate, you will not use my name with her again!"
"What are you doing with it that is so very important?" Elrohir demanded.
"That is not the point!" Elladan snapped. "It is the only thing I have that you do not use!"
"You use my things," Elrohir retorted, "I would think I was entitled to borrow yours."
"My things, yes!" Elladan agreed "Not my name! Brother, the longer this continues the worse it will be... please, for the love of Manwe, just tell her!" Elrohir whirled around, his face creasing in a menacing scowl.
"It was not enough to break up Arwen and Aragorn," he growled, "now you must separate Eirien and I as well?"
"Brother!" Elladan sighed in exasperation, "I do not want you to lose Eirien but I would rather that than see you fade."
"I have an idea." Elrohir said brightly. "We can just switch permanently!"
"What?" Elladan asked in horror.
"No one can tell us apart at any rate." Elrohir grinned. "Who is to say who we are!"
"Aragorn would know!" Elladan replied, feeling as if he were mad for even having the conversation. "As would Arwen!"
"Aye," Elrohir replied with a frown, "I had not thought of that." Elladan grabbed him by the shoulders giving him a firm shake.
"Then think of this!" Elladan replied "If you do not tell her soon Ada will find out!" The younger twin paled, his jaw working silently as he struggled for something to say.
"You would back me would you not?" Elrohir asked, his eyes wide as Elladan slowly shook his head.
"Elrohir using my name, Ada?" he mimicked smugly "I've no idea what you mean!"
"It was your idea!" Elrohir fumed.
"And now it is my idea to tell her the truth." Elladan replied.
"Meril?" Eirien paused, watching her friend as she sat on the garden bench. Meril's delicate fingers lingered over the petals of the roses on the bush beside her, a far off expression on her face.
"Do you think there are roses in Valinor?" she asked softly.
"I think Valinor must be filled with roses." Eirien replied with conviction, sitting down on the bench beside her and wrapping her arms around her. "And Yavanna makes them always blooming and without thorns."
"Perhaps she could do the same for me." Meril replied with a sad smile.
"Oh, Meril." Eirien sighed, laying her head on her friend's shoulder. "Legolas is a fool, I do not know what you see in him. He should beg for your affections."
"You do not know what I see in him?" Meril asked in bewilderment. "He is only the most gloriously beautiful elf in Middle Earth! He is a prince and heir of Mirkwood. He is the most sought after elf in all Arda, Eirien are you blind?"
"He is all those things." Eirien agreed. "But you have not said that he is affectionate, nor kind, nor considerate. You have not told me how he shows his love and devotion. What do you want Meril, with an elf who will not love you?"
"You are a fine one to talk." Meril replied with an impish scowl, jostling Eirien with her shoulder. "You who pursued the heir of Imladris as if he were an errant hound." Eirien let out a giggle.
"It is not like that now." Eirien said, blushing as she picked at the embroidery on her sleeve. Meril gave her a wolfish grin and Eirien pinched her arm "It is not like that either!"
"And how does Elladan... feel?" Meril asked with a coy smirk that sent Eirien into a fit of giggles.
"Meril, do not be wanton!" She replied, still grinning. "He has not even suggested it."
"Truly?" Meril asked with surprise, "Eirien, I am stunned! He has quite the reputation."
"I know." Eirien replied, blushing as she grinned stupidly. Meril burst into laughter.
"Valar," Meril sighed, resting her head on Eirien's shoulder as they both continued to giggle. "Do not dare bind to him in your room. I could not stand the noise."
"I thought you said you did not know her." Legolas said in a low voice as they paused by the side of the path. The hunt had gone well all morning and they each had a fair amount of game to show for it but it had been a very strained affair. In a rather selfish way, Legolas was incredibly pleased. Arwen had been so busy glaring daggers at Aragorn that she had not had time to pay him any notice at all.
Events, however, seemed to be unraveling in a rather dangerous way. When they had left Imladris he had thought that they had only briefly met and both made a rather bad first impression. As the hunt progressed it became clear that their differences stemmed from far more than a simple misunderstanding. Twice while Aragorn was preparing to shoot Arwen had prodded him with her bow and he had missed, the second time resulting in his startled mount throwing him. When they stopped for lunch she had gone so far as to trip him, sending him sprawling into the river. It was a wet, unnerved and bedraggled heir of kings who now glared back at him.
"You said Undomiel!" Aragorn hissed. "I did not know you meant Arwen!"
"It is the name Elrond calls her." Legolas replied with a scowl, glancing a handful of yards away to where Arwen was sighting a pheasant, hiding in the bushes. "Only her mother ever called her Arwen. We have all called her that since she was but a child. You have lived in Imladris all your life, have you never heard her name spoken?"
"Many times!" Aragorn replied in frustration "But no one cared to tell me who she was. And she never told me she had any other name."
"What did you do to make her so angry?" Legolas asked with a smirk.
"I..." Aragorn's reply was cut short by an arrow that imbedded in the tree not more than inches from his face.
"Can you not be quiet!" Arwen snapped viciously, her eyes flaming "You are scaring the game!" Legolas nodded to her and she whirled back around, drawing another arrow.
"I did not do anything." Aragorn whispered as he pulled the arrow from the tree, his chest heaving a bit.
"Then why dose she continually try to kill you?" Legolas asked.
"It was a misunderstanding." Aragorn replied.
"Misunderstandings do not generally result in slayings." Legolas replied with a scowl, "Will you not tell me what happened?"
"I would not repeat what happened for all of Arda and the fall of Barad-dur." Aragorn insisted, folding his arms over his chest with a scowl and turning away. Legolas snickered but stopped abruptly as the angry look on the human's face melted into one of fear.
The elf's head whipped around and he scanned the glade.
"Undomiel?" He called, taking a few strides forward to where she had been standing only a moment before.
"Arwen?" Aragorn's expression was one of total panic and he circled the glade as if expecting to find her hidden in the trees.
"Where could she have gone without her horse?" Legolas demanded angrily, searching the trees.
"Here!" Aragorn crouched low to the ground, his fingers gently raking the grass. Legolas raced to his side and watched as the young human traced the nearly invisible tracks deeper into the forest.
"Why would she just run off?" Legolas asked in horror. "Valar, Aragorn, what did you do to her?"
"I didn't do anything!" Aragorn insisted, turning and running for his mount "Ride to Imladris, call for aid!"
"And what do you plan to do?" Legolas demanded as the human grasped his sword, strapping it to his waist.
"I'm going after her." He said, his face contorting in an angry scowl, "And my brothers had better pray that I find her before the orcs do or they will pay dearly."
Legolas stared open mouthed as he watched his young friend bolt into the trees at a dead run, his attention on the trail and whatever threat might be approaching. Whatever was going on here, it seemed clear that he was not even aware of the half of it.
Author's note - Okay, the reviews were all pretty much the same. Either you laughed your butts off or you now want to kill the twins and possibably maim a Lorien elf. Instead of repeating myself I will just answer these two things...
For those who Laughed - I did too. Meril did untie him... she just took her sweet time about it and you would too.
For those who want another Kinslaying - Easy now! Everything will work out in the end. And sometimes brothers do stupid things to each other without considering the consequences... The twins are still picking molasses from between their toes and you all laughed at that!
Oh, just two more things!
No, I'm not trying to give anyone heartfailure and...
Is 'kinky' a good or bad thing?
