Authors note: I don't own Inu-Yasha. –Sigh-

Ok, so we have surprises coming out of everywhere. Where's the next one going to be? –Evil grin- I might never update again! Yeah right...here's the story. Oh and I wanted to add, I just had to tell someone, you can ignore this if you'd like. But I was board and played pokemon ruby and named a pokemon Sess. lol so...ignore me.

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Chapter 11: Confessions of a Boy

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The rest of the way home Inu-Yasha and Kagome walked in silence. Kagome and Inu-Yasha were too busy thinking about themselves. Inu-Yasha finally knew why Kagome was such a tough cookie. She learnt to fend for herself. She had to. So she could survive. That was all life was. A big survival game. The strongest survive leaving the rest to die. That's why Inu-Yasha took care of himself. Only himself. Because he learnt that compassion always got in the way. Compassion made you weak, making you the weakest link.

Kagome was thinking about Inu-Yasha. He had saved her. It was great, having him around to save her. But it was starting to make her wonder why Inu-Yasha and Sesshomaru were the way they were. Cold and heartless. Well, that's the image they'd put up. But really, inside, they were two beings. Capable of loving and showing compassion. But for some reason, something had turned them that way. It was like they thought of life as just being there. Surviving. Kagome looked up at Inu-Yasha. Was that all he thought about? Living? Sure living was important but you have to also enjoy everything else life has to offer. To actually live life you need love; sure the strongest survive. But has no one ever thought of how strong love could be?

They finally reached the castle doors and walked in. They saw everyone else at the table. It was dinnertime. Kagome sighed. She didn't have time to change and freshen up, but her hunger took over. Being away she had missed lunch and had worked up an appetite from splashing around in the river. As she sat down everyone stared at her. This was because she, like Inu-Yasha who was sitting across from her, was shoveling food into her mouth having no mercy for anything edible. Sango stared wide-eyed and nudged Miroku in the shoulder.

"You think Kagome has been around Inu-Yasha too long?"

Miroku didn't here; he was too busy admiring Kagome. He muttered something to Sango as a response.

"I like a woman who can eat. Man, she's hot. How can she pack it all away into that curvy body?"

Sango, enraged that Miroku had ignored her and the fact that he was hitting on Kagome, AGAIN, punched Miroku in the stomach. She then turned back to the plate that was in front of her and started to eat. Once she figured Kagome was finished she tried to start a conversation.

"So Kagome, what happened? Where'd you go today?"

Kagome looked at Sango then grinned. This will take a while.

"Well, we met Kouga in the morning. He was one of my ex-boyfriends. And then we find out Naraku killed his clan. Then I followed Inu-Yasha, against his will, to a waterfall where I cooled off. That is until Naraku's ex-girlfriend showed up looking for Sesshomaru and revenge considering Naraku left her to be with me. Then of course I ended up fainting and ended up walking here with Inu-Yasha."

Kagome took a breath and smiled. She was done. Sango stared wide-eyed. Trying to process all that came from Kagome's mouth. It had been a lot. Inu-Yasha laughed at Sango. He too was finished. It was funny because Kagome had said it all in one breath, and because she said it like it was an everyday thing. It might have been considered an everyday thing to Kagome, the fainting part, but the rest was all new to him.

"Errrmmm, well, you certainly had a, ummm, nice day? Me and Miroku read in the library...all day..."

Inu-Yasha was about to piss his pants now. He didn't know why but this conversation was hilarious. Miroku joined in laughing and they all were laughing in the end. It was a nice ending to a perfectly unperfected day. Except, the day wasn't over. When everyone finished dinner and they stopped laughing Inu-Yasha and Miroku went to the library to discuss something while Sango went to bed and Kagome went to look around the castle. She wandered around for half an hour until she reached a big door. She opened it and saw a brilliant room painted red. It was clean and tidy. It had a big bed with a canopy and a wooden dresser to the side. Kagome smiled. Sesshomaru's room no doubt. She walked around it, touching everything, admiring everything in awe. It was so Grande! Kagome was tempted to jump onto the fluffy looking beautiful bed. She finally gave in and jumped onto it, sinking into the softness she grabbed the pillow and something feel out of the pillowcase. Kagome went over to see what it was with amazement. It fell to the floor. Kagome got off the bed and picked it up. It was a leather bound book. It snapped shut. She opened it and the golden pages told her to read, so she did.

"A diary?"

It was a diary. She looked at the top right corner. Knowing her perfect and obsessive-compulsive fiancé there would be an underlined date. She found it. but all there was, was the month, day, and the number day. No year. This puzzled Kagome. She carefully moved over to the desk in the other corner and sat down in the big chair. She set the diary on the desk and started to read.

Monday, June 14th

Today was horrible. Naraku came, demanding a pay him back for the sword he stole. I denied. He said something awful would happen, but I didn't believe him. Today I saw my mom with a sword through her. She was dead. Naraku was there laughing at me. He had killed my mother. I don't care what anyone says. Stepmother or not she was still my mother. I also found out that Inu-Yasha is only half demon. He's my half brother. Daddy cried and so did Inu-Yasha, I didn't. Because I'm not suppose to cry. Daddy says demons aren't supposed to cry, even though he did. My 10th birthday will be in two days and I can't wait. But mom won't be there. I will never love again, because loving will only lead to weakness. Daddy won't fight anymore because of mommy, he swore he wouldn't. I'll never fall in love; I will never love...because I can't. I will be the best Demon ever.

Kagome noticed tear stains at the bottom. She felt bad. She too felt like crying. Kagome remembered her talk with Sango. She had said he was 10 but in the diary it said he was turning 10 in two days. She turned the page.

Friday, June 16th

Today is my 15th birthday. I'm so excited! Dad said he'd be home in time for my birthday. He's off in a battle but I'm sure he will win! Inu-Yasha broke down today. He was remembering mom like he always did on my birthday. She died to days before my birthday. Inu-Yasha and I still go to the spot where she was killed. In her bedroom. Inu-Yasha didn't see her get killed, I did. I watched as the sword went through her body. I watched helplessly as Naraku, a 15-year-old boy killed my stepmother. I still remember it. It was my fault. If I hadn't have ever met him she'd be alive. I wish dad would get here soon to get this all off my mind.

Kagome put a hand to her mouth as she gasped. She didn't want to turn the page. She knew what would be there. She remembered. Sesshomaru's father died on his 15th birthday. She slowly turned the page. The ink was almost washed away by what seemed like tears. The writing was shaky.

Saturday, June 17th

Dad didn't come yesterday. I had to celebrate my 15th birthday with my brother and the servants. I hid my feelings. They thought I was ok, but I wasn't. I wanted dad to be there. I wanted dad and mom to be there. But they weren't. We just received word today that dad won't be coming home today either. Or tomorrow. My father is dead. And I'm alone. I will never forgive anyone for this. I will never love. I will get revenge. He was fighting Naraku. A 20-year-old boy killed my great father. And he will keep on killing until he gets what he wants. He'll come after Inu-Yasha, but I won't let him. He has taken away everyone I love except for Inu-Yasha. Maybe if I act like I don't love Inu-Yasha Naraku won't kill him? I will prevail. I will overcome. I will be the survivor. Because I promise on my fathers' grave I will be the fittest.

Kagome felt a tear roll down her cheek. She knew too much. She wasn't supposed to know this. She had just read a young boy's darkest secrets. She turned the page. Nothing. That's all there was in the rest of the book. Blank pages. Empty, blank, golden pages. She knew stuff not even Inu-Yasha knew. It seemed that Sesshomaru had written in the diary only when he actually felt something. Something of emotion that was stirred up by Naraku and his parents deaths. She closed the book and glazed her hand once again over the leather binding before snapping the book shut and putting it back in the pillow. She smoothed out the bed and made sure everything was as it was. She turned off the light switch and left the room, closing the door behind her. Even demons' had some emotions. She walked looking at the ground. She wasn't paying attention and bumped into a sturdy chest. She was about to fall but a pair of equally sturdy arms caught her. She looked up to see a paired of relieved golden eyes.

"Here you are Kagome! We were all looking for you. Me and Miroku decided to ask you if you wanted to come with us on a walk but you weren't in your room. We thought Naraku had gotten you."

Kagome just stared. Inu-Yasha pulled her into a hug.

"We thought you were gone! Don't do that Kagome. You want to come on a walk? Oh and by the way, where were you?"

Kagome pushed away gently and looked up at the Hanyou.

"I was, I was... I was in Sesshomaru's room."

Kagome stared at the ground as Inu-Yasha looked on with wide eyes.

"What did you do Kagome?"

"I, uhhh, read his diary?"

"He has a diary?"

Kagome nodded. She finally looked up into the golden eyes. He was smiling.

"Go get it. I need to know what it says for two certain days. And if he smells your scent in the room I'll just tell him I showed you his room."

Kagome's eyes grew wide. She forgot about the demon thing. He would probably smell her in his room. But using Inu-Yasha would be a great alibi. She nodded and ran into Sesshomaru's room. Taking out the diary and bringing it back to Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha took it from her and ran his fingers over the cover before opening it and reading it. It hurt but he wasn't going to cry. He had a sudden urge to kill Naraku along side Sesshomaru. He had killed Inu-Yasha's father, mother, and his relationship with Sesshomaru. He wasn't going to take anything else. But what else was there. He closed the book and gave it back to Kagome who took it back to the room. She silently came back to Inu-Yasha.

"So now you know about my family..."

Kagome looked at the floor feeling ashamed.

"I...I...really...didn't...mean to...I just"

Inu-Yasha lifted her head and put a finger to her lips.

"It's ok."

"Hey! Inu-Yasha! You found Kagome! Is she coming on the walk?"

Inu-Yasha looked up and blushed for a reason he didn't know. What was wrong? He was just talking to Kagome. And stuff. Inu-Yasha looked down at Kagome and she nodded. The three headed out into the gardens and started to walk. Only the light of the moon to light their way. Miroku broke the magic silence.

"So where were you Kagome? We were looking for you."

Kagome sighed. She half expected to tell Miroku the same thing as she had told Inu-Yasha, but she couldn't. She was surprised she even told Inu-Yasha. Why did she tell him? She could have gotten into a lot of trouble with Inu-Yasha. Why?

"Oh nothing. Just wondering around the castle that's all."

Miroku nodded. He believed her.

"Kagome why do you love Sesshomaru? I highly doubt that he loves you back."

Kagome's face became disfigured in disgust. Who did Miroku think he was dissing her fiancé? She calmed down and her face went back to normal.

"I love Sesshomaru because he treats me like someone special. Someone worth living. And though you may doubt he's incapable of love he loves me a lot."

Kagome meant her words. But she was beginning to doubt her relationship with Sesshomaru. He didn't tell her anything. But he knew everything about her. She was even going to tell him about Miroku but he said he didn't care about past lovers, just as long as she was with him now. She stopped to think. How did she know he really loved her? Who's to say he isn't a great actor. She stopped herself and kept walking. It was just pre-wedding jitters. But what if he wasn't her sole mate? She choked a sob. She suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"We are going back now Kagome. You coming?"

She turned around. Again it was Inu-Yasha. She started to head back to the castle with the two. She watched Inu-Yasha. Was she marrying the wrong guy?

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Authors note: awwww, -tear- that was a cute chapter and sad. I loved it! Now to get to writing another chapter...tommorow. Its 1:01am right now so I'm going to upload and then sleep. Oh, and people, I love your reviews! They really mean a lot to me! It inspires me to write more and it reminds me whom I'm writing for. Thank you! LONG CHAPTER! Lol just had to add that!