Part 7

Two years pass in the blink of an eye. With her returned money, she manages to find herself a small apartment in Greenwich Village. It is a closet, really, but it is all hers. She finds a job close by, serving tables in a large and busy café. How she knows that she will be good at this, she has no idea, but she is proven right. Soon she is well known in the neighborhood. She has a good memory for details, and the customers like that she can greet them by name, which means that her tips are excellent. She recognizes the irony that she can remember complete strangers, but cannot remember who she is.

The guy from the bus station continues to haunt her dreams. She knows it is him, although she does not remember any of the details in the morning. She simply awakens, gasping for breath, in a cold sweat, and knows that he was there, and then he wasn't. That, in the dream, she has failed him somehow, and he has left her because of it.

She reads books on dreams and decides that he represents her lost memory. That she is mourning the loss of her life before, and that he is a figure symbolizing her past.

And, yet, in spite of the fear and sadness that accompany the dreams, she also welcomes them. She endures the nightmares, and does not try to stop them. They are the only true thing she has. The life she has built for herself, while mostly content, is lonely. She chooses not to get close to anyone, fearing that, without her memory, she might allow her enemies to enter her life. The boy in her dreams represents her loss, but she also feels that she is found when she sees him there. In real life, for one moment, he was kind to her. With him, for an instant, she felt safe. And, so, in her dreams, simply being with him, is a comfort.

After the first few months, she stops looking for him in every crowd. Somehow she knows that there is no need. He will come to her nightly anyway. But, she also understands that the dreams are temporary. She feels that there will be a reckoning someday. She will see him again.

When the time finally comes, she finds that she is ready for him. She feels relieved that the waiting has ended. The circumstances are not even shocking to her, although most would find them to be so. None of it is unexpected.

She is in the alley, behind the café, throwing a garbage bag into the bin. She senses danger, even before she hears anything, and, so, she is half- turning when she is grabbed from behind. She stumbles into her assailant, causing him to lose his balance. For one, brief instant, she is sure it is Pierce. That he has finally found her. But, when the knife pierces her flesh, she knows it is not.

She knows that if Pierce ever found her, he would not kill her quickly. Oh, no. He would take his time, making each moment leading to her end count for all the years that she has evaded him. She does not know how she knows this, but she is certain of it.

This is not Pierce. This is an accident. Another random tragedy in a city full of them. Looking up into her attacker's face, she can see that he is more surprised than she by what has happened. He intended to hurt her, but not like this. Later, Beth remembers that she was not surprised by any of it. She knows that what happened in the alley was fate.

Because, he leaves her lying in a pool of her own blood. As the light dims, she gasps slightly, the pain almost unbearable. She can feel a name forming on her lips - knows that she wants to cry out to someone - but her memory will not allow her to form the word. It is the worst part of the whole experience. That she cannot even remember who she wants while she is dying.

Three days later, she opens her eyes again, and she is found.

The ceiling above her is white. It sends a shiver down her spine. She senses that she is not alone, turns her head to the right, and sees a dark head resting on a pair of folded arms beside her on the bed. She slowly reaches out, touches the silky strands.

Strangely, her first thought is that he needs a haircut. Her second is that he has finally come for her.

Her movement awakens him, and he raises his head. The dark eyes that meet hers are as familiar to her as her own. It is the guy from the bus station. She drinks in his face, can see that he looks different, although she is completely certain that it is him. His hair is long now, just brushing the collar of his jacket. The goatee is gone, replaced by scruffy stubble. All the piercings are gone, too. She feels her forehead crease slightly, as she takes this in. She recognizes him, but she no longer feels the sense of familiarity that accompanies his visits in her dreams.

Something is wrong. And, yet, there can be no mistaking him, so she pushes the momentary doubt aside. Because, after all this time, he has come.

He swallows visibly. She can tell that he is nervous. She wonders at it. Does he not feel what she feels? "You're awake."

"Where am I?" she asks, buying time, trying to understand why he is afraid of her.

"In the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

She nods. "Did you bring me here?"

"Eventually," he says. A strange answer. "After we were sure that you were going to be okay."

"After?" Shouldn't she have been brought here before?

"It's a long story." He looks away, as though thinking, then back. "Do you remember me?" he finally asks.

"The bus station," she replies, earning a lopsided smile that makes her stomach rumble. The longer she looks at him, the less she feels the sense of wrongness that first came over her when she opened her eyes.

"That's right."

"Who are you?" she whispers. "Do you know who I am?" She does not mean Beth. She knows Beth. She means before. Who was she before? Because, for some reason, she feels that he can tell her.

But he does not tell her. Instead he says, "I'm Zan. And you are the one I have been waiting for my entire life."

***

Zan has called ahead, and so Ava, Lonnie, and Rath are waiting for them when they arrive at the apartment he shares with Beth. The door is locked, but he can sense that they are there.

The others have barely spoken on the cab ride over. The human, Kyle, is a mystery to Zan, as are most humans. Beth has always ever been the exception. The originals are easier to read. In fact, being in their presence is like being in the company of heightened versions of his own family. He can feel the barely contained rage the Rath's original emits. This man misses his king, and he is not at all willing to accept Zan as his brother's replacement. In fact, he is ready to murder Zan before he will even contemplate it. The Ava double is slightly nervous, but calmer; more curious than confrontational.

"Where's Beth?" It is Ava who asks, when Zan leads his three companions into the living room. He clenches his jaw at the sight of the woman he calls sister anxiously standing in the center of the room. Her question is too eager, as always. The act that she puts on, that she is happy for him, has always made him feel more guilty than any show of jealousy or anger would have. She is too good.

"She's staying out tonight," Zan replies. He glances at the three Roswellians. The Rath original - Zan realizes that he will have to start thinking of him by his name, Michael - has his arms crossed. He is glaring at Zan, his expression easily readable. As far as Michael is concerned, Beth is not staying out tonight. Beth is staying out forever, if Michael has anything to say about it.

But Zan knows that it is not up to either of them. It is up to Beth, and Zan's heart breaks anew; the ice he has frozen around it, since he left her in that hotel, cracks, as the truth that she has already chosen forces its way in.

He is alive and he is not you.

With those simple words, she has changed their idyllic world. She has destroyed his entire world. Because she is it. She is everything.

And she is not his.

Ava steps forward, forcing Zan back to reality. She takes her original's hand. "I'm Ava. I'm so glad to finally meet you!"

The expression on Tess's face is hard to read. She looks mildly ill, but also fascinated. "I'm Tess."

"I know," Ava replies. She smiles, releasing Tess. She gestures at Rath, near the window, and Lonnie, who is seated on the couch. "That's Rath, and that's Lonnie - it's short for Vilandra."

"I know," Tess says, sounding so exactly like Ava did moments before, it erases any comfort that Ava's friendliness has managed to bring to the room. Tess continues quickly, "I mean, Langley told us. About you. We know that Lonnie is short for Vilandra," she finishes lamely, before pressing her lips together. The human, Kyle, puts his arm around her, and she leans into him gratefully. Zan sees Ava watch this, a bemused expression on her face.

"Let's cut to the chase here," Michael growls. "I want to know how long you've been lying to Liz about who she really is."

Since entering the apartment, Michael has not even looked at his dupe. It is as though, by ignoring him, Rath does not exist. It makes Zan angry, for the first time this evening. Before, he was guilty - rightfully. But Rath deserves recognition. He is standing against the wall near the window, his arms crossed in a mirror image to Michael's. Zan recognizes his brother's attempt to project a lack of concern. It reinforces more than anything else that Rath is afraid. He does not know what this means, the fact that they are being confronted by their originals, after so long, and it frightens him. Rath, more than any of them, is happy with their simple life in New York. He has never wanted to go back, and Zan understands that he fears that this is what the originals' arrival in New York means.

Because why are they here? Langley went to them years ago. Why has he not taken them back to Antar? This is what Rath wonders.

But Zan knows why. It is because they have lost their king. They have lost Beth's Max, and they have waited five years for him. They will accept no replacement, obviously. And now they will not have to. Because, they have found her. And, now that they have, they can find him.

She is the key. She is his, so completely, that she is the only one who can ever bring him back to them. Everything that has not made sense, over the years that Zan and Beth have been together, crystallizes into complete understanding. What has been wrong is so clear, he does not know how he avoided the truth of it for so long; how he managed to lie to himself - and her - for years.

She belonged to another him first, and, in her heart - in her dreams - that has never changed.

It is in that instant - with the final acceptance of what is true and what cannot be changed - that Zan starts to feel him. He can sense Max - his original - and he knows that Beth is right. He is alive somewhere. With his acknowledgment of Max's existence, the king lives again.

Zan wonders how he could ever have forgotten what it felt like to know Max. The king has been a part of him for his entire life. How has he managed to ignore Max's pain so completely? Because, now that he feels it again, it is almost overwhelming.

But Zan knows how. Beth. She muted everything. His love for her made him so happy, he was able to easily ignore his original's suffering.

The guilt of it is almost unbearable.

He wonders if the others can feel each other in the same way he can feel Max. He glances at his sister, then at Michael. Is this why the general is standing so stiffly? Can he feel everything there is to know about Rath? Can he feel Rath's fear of him, and so he is playing the part expected of him?

"Liz?" Lonnie asks leaning forward on the couch. She looks at him questioningly.

"Beth's real name is Liz," Zan tells her, through gritted teeth, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand. He does not appreciate Michael's arrogance, but he thinks he now understands. It is not all about Rath. After all, the Roswellians have grown up knowing that they are the real deal. They are the Royal Four, and they are meant to rule. "She grew up in Roswell, apparently. These were her friends."

Lonnie closes her eyes for a moment, then opens them and meets his. "Zan, I told you it was a mistake, taking her to that concert."

He knew it, knows it still. But he couldn't resist. Not when he knew how much it would mean to Beth. He tried to pretend that he did not understand why his girlfriend loved Maria Deluca's music so much. He deliberately ignored the fact that the singer came from Roswell, New Mexico, the same place he knew the Royal Four lived. He pretended to himself that there was no connection. He tells himself now that he only wanted to help her find a little peace. He was certain that going to the concert would do that.

It is only now, after the worst has happened, that he knows what he was really doing. Going to that concert was not about Beth at all. It was about him.

He had been testing her. Once and for all, he had been making sure that it was him she wanted; that his innermost fear, the barely acknowledged paranoia that she had known his original, and that she didn't want him at all, was unfounded.

He has gambled, and he has lost. And, because of it, he is going to lose her. Finally, the knowledge that he has held all along - that this could not last - has borne fruit.

She is not his, and never has been. His heart has always told him as much, although he has tried to ignore his doubts. He has stood in her way for too long, keeping her for himself, because the happiness she brings is more than he ever imagined he deserved.

It has been a stolen season.

And, now, because of it, he is going to have to give her up.