Fallen
A
songfic dedicated to Nuriko's death. Yes, Nuriko is tied for
my favorite character. With Tasuki. Go figure. Get
out those tissues, folks! This takes place before the end of
the OVAs. It helps to listen to the song before you read the
fic.
Heaven
bend to take my hand
And
lead me through the fire
Be
the long awaited answer
To
a long and painful fight
Death
greeted me coldly. Not in the way of dying in a land of snow,
but in a land with no love. I could not be with His Highness.
I could not protect Miaka. I could not do anything any longer.
I did my best to move the rock and I did. But that ended in a
fatal mistake. I never wanted death to claim me- our cause was
too important. Death was not at all what I wanted- it did
nothing for me.
Truth
be told I've tried my best
But
somewhere along the way
I
got caught up in all there was to offer
And
the cost was so much more than I could bear
I
was always there for anyone to talk to. "The older brother"
as Tamahome called me. But I couldn't keep my thoughts off
Miaka and that led to being caught off guard. Too off guard.
Now Taka is older than I am. That makes me feel more depressed-
my progress has come to an end in my eyes. I lost the right to
go on living.
Though
I've tried, I've fallen...
I
have sunk so low
I
have messed up
Better
I should know
So
don't come round here
And
tell me I told you so...
Was
love a mistake? No, I could never think that. I watched
Tamahome and Miaka be together. But before I could witness
their love grow even deeper, I became too caught up in the priestess
rather than her cause. I know they will say I died a valiant
death- a hero's death of nobility and honor. But after I
began to shadow the priestess and Taka to fight against Tenkou, their
faces only mocked me. They personally never mocked me.
Only their living faces were cruel and mocking reminders.
We
all begin with good intent
Love
was raw and young
We
believed that we could change ourselves
The
past could be undone
I
did my best, Hotohori did his best, Mitsukake did his best, Chiriko
did his best, Tasuki is doing his best, Chichiri is doing his best,
Taka is doing his best, and Miaka is doing her best. But our
attempts always get harder and more horrible with each death. A
strange and innocent foreign girl from the future with a school girl
crush on a dashing miser. That's what it started as.
Now our battered corpses lay in the earth trying to desperately save
a world we would never set eyes on.
But
we carry on our backs the burden
Time
always reveals
The
lonely light of morning
The
wound that would not heal
It's
the bitter taste of losing everything
That
I have held so dear.
I
could not be healed. My wound was permanent and never would
leave. People laughed at my attempts to be a woman, but never
at my attempts to help the Seishi and Priestess. It was too
hard. It was hard for every one of us. We all feel alone,
especially in death. I lost it all. All of it. I
did my best to realize Kourin was never coming back. Kourin, my
place at Miaka's side... so many things gone. So that is why
Miaka cannot lose- she cannot lose so she can win in my place.
I've
fallen...
I
have sunk so low
I
have messed up
Better
I should know
So
don't come round here
And
tell me I told you so...
There's
nothing I can do about what happened, but I still feel badly about
it. I'm still trying to do my best though. Sadly, I
can't help enough. I know it's no use apologizing, since I
technically have done nothing wrong. It would only make Miaka
more stressed. That's the last thing I need to do- make Miaka
feel worse.
Heaven
bend to take my hand
Nowhere
left to turn
I'm
lost to those I thought were friends
To
everyone I know
You
can't take back dying. It happens and there is nothing to do
about it. I lost everything. Everything was gone- I may
have even lost myself. I don't think people really understand
dying until it happens to them. I have nothing left now.
Oh
they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend
that they don't see
But
it's one missed step
One
slip before you know it
And
there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Even
in death, I will never forget the looks on the faces of everyone who
knew me in my childhood after I "became" Kourin. They
labeled me as an outcast, saying I didn't deserve to be a man
anyway since I dealt so badly with grief. I hadn't meant to
turn my family away from me by trying to be Kourin. I didn't
realize what becoming Kourin meant. I was so young and naive,
yet they did not spare me judgment.
Though
I've tried, I've fallen...
I
have sunk so low
I
have messed up
Better
I should know
So
don't come round here
And
tell me I told you so...
I
smile a little sarcastically, and float over to where the others are
watching Miaka eat. Her appetite never decreased, but we all
can tell she is still suffering. I wish I could eat. I
wish I could drink. I wish I wasn't dead. But wishing
is a task for a priestess. I am no priestess. I just pray
that Miaka does and keeps doing her best.
I've
messed up
Better
I should know
So
don't come round here
And
tell me I told you so...
Fin.
I
don't think I did the song or Nuriko justice with this dinky
songfic, but I tried! Anyone agree or disagree with how I
portrayed Nuriko? Some people think that Nuriko is 100 gay,
others think that Nuriko wouldn't be bothered by the death thing-
review and tell me what you think! I tried my best not to
mention Nuriko's gender. Because it's a very controversial
issue.
