Chapter 20

Another sunrise, clear again after yesterday's rain. Eri slid the last of the pins into her hair and re-straightened the sleeves of her kimono. It was the deep blue one, one of her favorites that she'd had for just ages.

Shinichiro was sitting up on his futon, reading again. He'd started reading the evening before last after napping for most of the afternoon, and he'd read all through yesterday while rain fell past the windows, ignoring her and Akane, interrupted only by Watanabe-sensei's morning and evening visits to change his bandages. He'd plowed straight through their few books, some histories and a couple of works of political philosophy. It was something Shinichiro had been interested in before the revolution, and he'd picked up the books when he'd had a chance soon after they'd built the house several years ago, but he'd never really spent any time with them before.

He'd set down the last one unfinished late last night when she'd finally chided him into putting out the light. He'd woken before her and dived back in, finishing it shortly after she woke up. She'd thought he'd stop then, but no, he'd cast around at a loss for a little while and then asked her for her copy of the 'Tales of Genji', ostensibly for its politico-historical interest. Well, once he finished that, he'd have to go out and buy some more if he wanted to read anything else. And he wasn't getting out of bed just yet.

Eri got up and headed for the kitchen. She needed some tea, and there was a lot of work to be done. She'd neglected the household chores for the past several days. Akane had done some of it while she was here, but mostly she'd spent her time helping look after Shinichiro and Kenshin. By yesterday afternoon it had been clear that they were both out of danger, and Akane had gone home to cook for her dinner customers.

Eri frowned at the stacks of cut cloth as she passed through the front room. She'd neglected her sewing as well. Normally she enjoyed doing it, but these past few days.... At first she'd been far too busy trying to figure out what Shinichiro was up to, and just hadn't had time to sew. After that, ever since her conversation with Kenshin just before he'd gone off in pursuit of her husband, she hadn't felt like sewing at all. It seemed trivial, frivolous. She'd mended the slashes in Kenshin's clothes after Akane had washed them -- she figured she owed him that at least -- but the dressmaking... Give it time, she told herself.

Kenshin's partitioned-off alcove was quiet. He must not be awake yet. He'd slept for most of the previous day, on and off, seeming much more wiped out than Shinichiro had been. Eri had been secretly glad, though she felt guilty about it; it meant she didn't have to deal with him yet. She could almost pretend he wasn't there. Except Shinichiro kept asking her how he was. His other new obsession, besides reading. It was driving her up the wall.

She shot an icy glare at the shoji screen. She'd have to check in on him in a little while, see if he needed anything. Too bad. She wished he would just disappear. It was her fault he was hurt in the first place.

Eri turned towards the kitchen doorway and froze, momentarily speechless.

Kenshin was standing at the sink, washing dishes and humming quietly to himself. He'd tied back his hair with a strip of scrap cloth and was dressed in his usual clothes, a piece of string cris-crossed around his shoulders to keep his sleeves out of the dishwater. Eri took this in in the moment before he sensed her presence and glanced back over his shoulder.

"Ohayou gozaimas', Eri-dono!" he said happily, giving her a cheerful smile. "I'm almost done with the washing-up, that I am. I made some tea; I hope you don't mind. Would you like some?" He rinsed the bowl he was holding and laid it on the drying rack, then shook the water off his hands.

Eri gaped at him.

"I would have made some breakfast but I'm a terrible cook," Kenshin chattered on, stepping briskly over to the stove. He set down two cups and picked up the teapot, then looked back at her expectantly with bright eyes. But he'd been limping a little, and he was clearly favoring his right side.

"Himura-san! You shouldn't be up!"

He widened his eyes, putting on an innocent expression. "Oro?"

"Don't you 'oro' me! Get back to bed! The doctor said three days, at the minimum!"

"But I feel fine, that I do, and it's so boring..."

"And you shouldn't be walking on that leg either; you'll pull out the stitches!" She took a step forward. Kenshin started backing up nervously, raising his hands in a placating gesture, still holding the teapot in one.

"It's all right, Eri-dono, I took them out this morning, that I did..."

"YOU WHAT!?"

Kenshin froze, going a little pale. He'd bumped up against the wall next to the stove and could retreat no further. "Oro..." he whimpered.

Eri stopped, closed her eyes, and counted silently to ten. Then she took a deep breath and opened them again. "All right," she said calmly. "You took out your stitches. Why?"

"Just the ones in my leg!" Kenshin babbled defensively. "The cut's closed up already, and they were starting to bother me, that they were!"

Eri laid her forehead on her palm and shook her head. May the gods have mercy on any woman who takes you as her own, she thought. Even Shinichiro was a pillar of sensibility by comparison.

The pause lengthened. Kenshin spoke hesitantly. "Eri-dono? Are you all right?"

She sighed and raised her head. "Yes, I'm fine. All right, let's have that tea. Pour a cup for Shinichiro too."

Kenshin's smile returned. He fetched a third cup and filled them, then set the teapot back down on the stove and passed one over to her. She saw a brief flicker of pain cross his face as he turned to pick up the other two, but he'd hidden it by the time he turned back again.

o-o-o

Kenshin followed Eri into the bedroom, a cup of tea in each hand and a gentle smile on his face. He was suddenly unsure whether he was ready for this, but there was no way to back out now.

He'd woken up early, finally feeling rested. After taking out his stitches and rebandaging his leg he'd sat against the wall for close to an hour, debating whether to get up. He didn't want to bother Eri. Yesterday, when he'd been awake, he'd sensed in her tension, hostility, even despair, carefully hidden under a distant politeness. What was making her feel that way? He didn't understand, but he suspected that his being there made it worse for her. That grim determination was gone from her eyes and she was no longer carrying around a dagger, but somehow this frightened him more. He'd decided he should leave, as soon as possible. He should go back to Akane's place, just until he was healed enough to travel, and then he should get out of this town for good. He'd given in to the boredom eventually and gotten up. Eri's kitchen had been a disaster area, full of dirty dishes. Wonderful.

Shinichiro was sitting up on his futon, reading. He looked up when they entered, and his hazel eyes lit up, locking hungrily on Kenshin. "Himura!"

Kenshin settled down on the cushion Eri had passed over to him and handed Shinichiro a cup of tea.

Shinichiro tossed his book aside and leaned forward, his long face eager. "I've been wanting to talk to you."

Kenshin smiled hesitantly. "I'm glad you're feeling better, that I am." Eri was frowning disapprovingly at Shinichiro from her cushion. Kenshin sipped his tea and tried not to squirm.

o-o-o

Eri listened, drinking her tea slowly, while Shinichiro chattered on animatedly. Her annoyance was growing again. Normally, Shinichiro wasn't one to talk so much. Normally, he was quiet and reserved.

Shinichiro kept steering the conversation back to the revolution. Kenshin seemed to be growing increasingly uncomfortable. His replies to Shinichiro's questions were getting briefer and more vague as time went on. Now he was fidgeting with his empty cup, avoiding Shinichiro's eyes.

She'd tried to change the subject a few times, and been ignored. This was pointless. "I'm going to make breakfast," she announced, and walked out, closing the door behind her.

o-o-o

"All right, Himura, you have to tell me now. Why the reversed blade?" Shinichiro was leaning forward, his eyes intense, his voice low and insistent.

"Oro?" Kenshin looked up. He'd been distracted, trying not to listen too hard to Shinichiro's reminiscences. The cut in his side was hurting him again, too; maybe he shouldn't have lifted those heavy pots in the kitchen. But this he was willing to talk about. He perked up and set his cup on the floor. "When I left the Ishin Shishi I vowed not to kill, ever again. But the sword is the only thing I'm good at. This way, I can still protect the people around me, that I can."

"Hm. Fair enough." Shinichiro was watching him intently. He seemed to be enjoying this. "But answer me something else then. You want to protect people, right? So why did you let Kobayashi and his friends live, when you know they'll go right on with their banditry?"

Kenshin was taken aback. "I won't--" he began.

Shinichiro leaned forward. "But it's bigger than that!" he continued, his eyes burning. "They want to start a war. No, they want to re-start the revolution! Tear down the Meiji government, and establish a better one in its place. Would you prevent that? Or would you fight for it?"

"I--"

"Would you kill for it? If it meant a better future? Would you sacrifice the lives of the people of today, to make a better world for the people of tomorrow?"

Kenshin had tucked his toes under him and was starting to edge back. Shinichiro reached out suddenly and grabbed his wrist, stopping his retreat. "No!" Kenshin gasped, shocked. "Not after the revolution, not after--"

"You have to think large-scale!" Shinichiro's voice was rising. He shook Kenshin's arm. "If you just focus on making things nice for the people around you, you could be sacrificing whole future generations! If you want to help people you have to do it from a position of power. It was stupid not to join the government when you had a chance! The lives of two or three people who just happened to be around you when they needed help are nothing compared to the conditions for the masses!"

No, no, he couldn't think that way, it didn't work that way, no one's life was unimportant... Kenshin's heart had started to race unpleasantly. He had to get away from this! He pulled back, hard, trying to break Shinichiro's hold. But Shinichiro was a lot stronger. He tightened his grip, holding Kenshin immobile, his big hand wrapped all the way around Kenshin's wrist. Kenshin's fingers were starting to go numb.

"We may have equality now, whatever that means, but the samurai aren't just going to disappear! If there's nothing for them to do within Japan, they're going to start to agitate for external wars. We had two hundred years of peace under Tokugawa, with the borders closed. How much longer do you think that's going to last now?"

The door banged open.

"Shinichiro!" Eri shrieked. "What are you doing!"

Shinichiro released his grip and Kenshin shot to his feet, taking several quick steps backward. His hands were shaking. He hid them in his sleeves.

"We were just--" Shinichiro started, suddenly defensive.

Eri cut him off. "Stop badgering Himura-san! Can't you see he doesn't want to talk about the revolution?" She grabbed Kenshin by the elbow and shoved him out through the door. "I'll talk to you in a minute," she shot at Shinichiro, and banged the door shut again.

"Eri-dono," Kenshin began, in a voice more shaky than he would have liked.

Eri glared at him. "I must apologize for my husband," she snapped, her tone at odds with her words. "He hasn't been himself lately. Please make yourself comfortable here. I'll bring you some breakfast." She turned and started stalking back toward the kitchen.

"Eri-dono, wait--" Kenshin had reached out after her, noticed the marks that Shinichiro's fingers had left on his wrist, and quickly hid his hand back in his sleeve. Eri turned around. Her gray eyes had softened, sadness mixing with her anger.

"Please don't trouble yourself over me," Kenshin continued gently. "I'm in your way here, that I am. Maybe it would be best if I go back to Akane-dono's house." He saw the relief in her eyes, and knew that this was the right thing to do.