"Determined Protector"
by Shelly Webster
Disclaimer: I own only Yaifa and Sei. I don't own Escaflowne. Maybe in another life...doubt I'll ever be anything but poor in this one.
A/N: Thanks again to my precious, beloved D and her beta work and to my dear, dear Folkie who told me he loves my writing style to the verge of jealousy and that Sei is one of the best created characters he has ever seen – that he forgets that Sei isn't canon. Best encouragement to write ever, having friends like them! The reviews helped too, even when my muses betrayed me. While writing this, I was listening to the song "Mad World" (from the Donnie Darko soundtrack) and it fits with some of the feelings in Escaflowne, I think. Just listen to it, ok? Also, I wouldn't mind if you check out my new story...Anyhow, sorry the chapter is late. And short. Umm...yeah. For all I say brevity is the soul of wit, I'm not always capable of this when answering reviews though...
Shout-outs:
DragonSlayerMogget: Glad you like it! I'll write more until I can do so no longer. I know the end I'd like, but I have to ask my muses a few questions first. And here's the update you asked for, obviously.
InfamousLordDilandau: huggles back Your enthusiasm pleases me to no end, as does your faith in my talent. Words are what we want them to be. Even slang eventually makes it to the dictionary.
LadyThompson: Two reviews in a row! D may be lucky to read this, but not so lucky as I am to have her read it. I was a bit unsure about the name for chapter two, so I'm pleased you like it. I haven't studied medicine or injuries much more than most people, but I picked up some terminology from Mock Trial. Also, I maybe sorta have a copy of Gray's Anatomy sitting around, as well as The Bantam Medical Reference Library. But really, most of this I have done without using these resources. Basically, I know I've dumbed it down a lot, but not enough to sound like Sei is a complete novice. Thanks for liking Sei. I mean to take care of him, as long as he'll let me. He shares his precious tea with you. I didn't feel I could do Folken justice yet if I wrote more of him. And, Sei's not supposed to like him, so it helps if I don't understand him very well.
Sakura Shinguji-Albatou: Cool, huh? I like that. No one thinks much about the fact that there must have been doctors, but the madoushi wouldn't fix everything. There's a Yaifa in the Shonen manga? I didn't know (haven't read the manga #(o)(o)# ). Yaifa is the name I gave to the character one can find drawings of sometimes. He has glasses, is blond, and was not actually shown in the series.
Threshie: Two reallys. Excellent. I didn't make many of the injuries serious because I do feel bad about hurting them...Most characters are a self-insertion of some sort because it's easy to write someone you relate to. I'm not saying that Sei is me. He is clearly not, but he is starting to rub off on me and I have a lot of respect for him. And don't assume I have a plot...that's up to the muses. Everyone seems to like Sei (except a few Dragon Slayers jealous of how he gets to have Dilandau stay with him). Umm...I'll get back to you on the Yaifa thing. I'm going to rewatch the series soon. I was told the slayer I saw was unnamed... In my circle, everyone seems to understand that doctors/medicine would be something he'd avoid like the plague. And continuing is what I intend to do...
Chapter 3
Testing boundaries
"Dr. Erimentha?" Lord Dilandau's bravado still did a poor job of hiding his discomfort in the infirmary, even after a few days."I told you before," Sei smiled, "Please, just call me Sei. You shouldn't think of me as a doctor all the time; I'm just a man."
"Sei," Dilandau tried the name out, "When will I get back to my real work? I'm fine and there's nothing to do here." Dilandau paced restlessly, looking at the cabinets of medical equipment as if he thought something would jump out at him.
Sei sighed. "I don't know yet. You're not ready to work, even if you disagree."
Dilandau drew himself to his full height, still significantly shorter than the doctor, but intimidating despite this. "How would you know?" he scorned. "You're a doctor, not a soldier. You know nothing of what my job requires of me."
Sei answered slowly, thinking of his family. "Just because I was never a soldier doesn't mean I know nothing of them."
"Oh really? Then what soldier have you known other than a few patients?" he queried maliciously, likely hoping to catch the doctor in a lie.
Sei buried the emotions he was feeling as best he could. "My brother. My brother was a soldier, until he died in battle."
Dilandau's eyes flickered with some emotion or other. "Obviously he wasn't a very good one then."
Sei turned away. "Perhaps not, but he was my brother. I was young enough that I thought he was perfect."
"None of them are perfect. Training doesn't help. They make stupid mistakes and then they're gone."
Sei turned back, to see Dilandau full of despair once more. He tentatively put an arm around the young man. "It's not all so bad as that. No one is perfect, but people are tough, especially soldiers."
Dilandau let the arm stay where it lay. "In the end, that doesn't matter. No one will live forever. And I'll end up just watching them all go without coming back. They'll leave me all alone."
"Being alone can be hard..." Sei sympathized with the youth, "But no one stays alone forever."
There was a long pause. Dilandau gave him no answer, so he decided to changed subjects to something he was highly interested in learning about. "Who is she?"
The commander looked startled and confused. "Who is who?"
"The girl. The one you call out about every time you wake up." Sei watched Dilandau as he spoke. As realization hit the military man, a look of distress filled his eyes.
"She's no one." The distress now held a hint of panic. "She's just no one." He walked away from Sei, Sei's arm falling off his shoulder.
"Then why do you keep dreaming about her? What happens in these dreams?" Maybe this was one reason he seemed so unstable – so close to the edge.
Dilandau half-yelled, half-growled. "I don't know! No fucking idea! She's just always there. She never lets me be!"
"What does she want? What does she do?" Sei was curious what caused these dreams.
"I don't know," he muttered, "She yells or she cries. Or just nags. She just never lets me have any peace. I can't not sleep though...I've tried."
"How long has this gone on?"
"What do you care?" He was yelling at this point. "You get paid to spy on patients, especially me. All they want you to do is mess with things best left alone."
Sei listened, then answered with a question. "Is that what you think doctors are?"
"Not as bad as the Strategos, maybe, but yeah." Dilandau glared. "You're always asking questions. 'How do you fee-eel?'" He imitated the doctor's question, using the most annoying tone of voice he could. "Feelings can't change anything anyhow."
Sei struggled not to answer that with a question. He liked questions – they make people think. Why would he think that feelings can't change anything? They can change everything. "Hmm...well, I've found that feelings can make a big difference. The more one cares, the more effort one makes – the more effort one can make, sometimes. Emotions are a key to a lot one doesn't always notice."
"Like what? They're just in your head anyhow." Dilandau's face showed that he truly didn't think feeling meant anything.
Sei gave his answer a moment of thought before he spoke. "It might seem that way...just like it might seem like injuries are only on one's body. But every injury has a memory, and feelings attached. Sometimes the injuries are inside." He saw Dilandau's look of disgust at being told something so obvious. "No, not like internal damage or bruises or anything. I mean, the mind, the thoughts and feelings of someone, can be damaged. It's hard to explain..."
"Then why are you even trying?!" Dilandau was angry.
Why is he angry? Maybe, just maybe, he's angry because no one else ever even tried to explain this to him...
"I'm trying because if I won't make the effort then I have no reason to think anyone else will either."
"Does it even really matter? I probably can't understand it. I don't even want to be here... Why can't I go?"
Sei pondered the reality of telling him. What if he holds it against me because he decides I don't want him here either? "Do you really want to know?" Now it's up to him.
"Yes! Why would I even ask if I didn't want to know?!" Sei was beginning to realize that just because Dilandau seemed very angry, it didn't necessarily mean that he was on the edge or going to attack him. It was just his natural way to express himself.
"Lord Folken asked that I strap you down to a cot. I compromised by agreeing to keep you here for observation for a short while and to keep you isolated from my other patients."
"What the fuck?" Dilandau's yelling this time clearly was because he was furious. "How dare he even think of asking for that? It's his fault that I'm not working right now!"
"Yes, you could say that."
"Wait! Other patients? What other patients are here?" Dilandau's eyes focused on Sei, firm to ensure he was completely honest.
Sei tallied his patients in his head, knowing he had too few to bother with a chart. "There's Dalet, Gatti, and Guimel. I think that's everyone else here right now. I treated a few other soldiers, but it wasn't serious enough for them to stay here."
"What are they in for?"
"Dalet has a laceration along his hairline. Gatti's ribs are bruised and some are cracked. Guimel is suffering from bruises and internal bruising. They'll get to return to the barracks before too long. They're really fine."
"Whatever. That's what they always say, but they just get hurt again. I'm never good enough to keep them from getting hurt."
A small part of Sei wanted to point out that earlier he had belittled another soldier's ability, when his own was not perfect, but as a doctor he knew it was not best for his patient. Not when the patient was Dilandau Albatou. Instead, he offered the youth a cup of tea.
"Tea? Not wine?" Sei could clearly tell that he wanted the alcohol he usually drank without restraint. He was not going to get any.
"Tea." He said firmly. "Wine isn't good for your health, especially right now."
"Oh, alright. Do I at least get cookies too?"
"I call them biscuits, but yes." He put on the kettle and arranged the biscuits on a plate.
Dilandau watched the physician arranging the cookies. "You are such a girl, setting up cookies like that. They're just going to get eaten."
Sei smiled. They seemed to have found a way for this to work.
