It was late in the evening when someone knocked on the Hardys' front door. Mr. Hardy let go of his wife's hand and got up to go answer it. Callie Shaw stood at the threshold. Seeing Mr. Hardy's red eyes, she knew something must be wrong. "Joe?" she asked.
Mr. Hardy swallowed before answering. "He's dead," he rasped, moving aside for her to enter. Callie walked through the foyer into the living room where Frank and the others sat.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered to Mrs. Hardy who had looked up at her arrival. Mrs. Hardy nodded, too tired to cry anymore.
"Sorry," Frank said in a loud, unintentional whisper. "I should have called you."
"Oh, honey, I understand," she said, tears falling down her face as she went to him and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her, soaking up the compassion she offered, sure he didn't deserve it.
While Callie was there, Andrea Bender, Vanessa's mother, called to find out why Vanessa hadn't returned home. Callie answered the phone and told her about Joe. Mrs. Bender said she would be over to pick up Vanessa. She didn't think it would be safe to let her drive right now. Callie agreed after looking over at Vanessa whose eyes were emotionless as she sat hugging herself in what had been Joe's favorite chair.
After Vanessa had left and Mr. and Mrs. Hardy had gone upstairs to their bedroom, Frank looked over at Callie. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked.
Callie stood up and followed Frank out the back door. She had to walk fast to keep up with him, but she didn't mind. She could see that something was eating at him and she had a bad feeling that she knew what it was. When he finally slowed down and started talking to her, she knew she had been right.
"I miss him so much," Frank told her, his voice soft yet rough. "I wasted so much time," he added and her heart began to break as he continued. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I left for college early he would have more time to prepare himself for being an adult. I was so sure he could take care of himself no matter what happened."
"Frank..." Callie tried to talk to him but he kept talking, not hearing her.
"I was so wrong. I should have stayed home this summer. Cherished every moment we had together. If I had, Joe would never have gone to camp...tried to go to camp," he amended, stopping by the tree on the corner and laying his back against it as he fought the despair which threatened to overwhelm him.
"Oh, I know. Joe and I aren't normal teenagers. We talked it out. We would always be there for each other when we were working; but not under normal circumstances." Frank bowed his head as his tears fell unchecked. "I let him down. He is...was my baby brother and I started treating him like I would treat Phil or Chet." He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. "All these weeks we could have been together and now...now I'll never see him again."
He sank to the ground, sobbing, and Callie, not knowing what to say, knelt beside him and held him. They stayed there until the moon was high in the night sky. Frank had quit crying and was sitting there, his knees pulled up to his chest with his arms around them. His eyes were focused on some distant thing only he seemed to be able to see. Callie sat beside him, quite, understanding he needed someone nearby though not invading the space he felt belonged to Joe.
"Once when we were kids, Joe asked me what I thought being dead was like," Frank spoke up after over an hour of silence. "I told him I thought it was like going to sleep." He stopped and sniffed. "He wanted to know if you dreamed when you were dead. I told him I didn't know but maybe good people had good dreams and bad people had nightmares."
Frank took a deep ragged breath and sniffed again. "He..." Frank paused and swallowed. "He asked if good people die and dream good dreams, then why everyone was so sad when someone died? I couldn't answer him but mom did. She said it was because people were selfish and wanted to keep that person with us but the person who gone to sleep was happy and wouldn't ever have to suffer or be sad."
Frank looked over into Callie's eyes, his own filled with pain. "I don't care of I am being selfish. I want Joe back."
"That's not possible," Callie began.
"You think I don't know that!" Frank demanded angrily, turning on her with eyes blazing. "I know I'll never see him again. I've lost my brother, my partner and my best friend. I'll never be able to tell him how sorry I am for letting him down. I'll never be able to..to..to tell him how much I love him." He wiped the tears from his face quickly. "Oh God, why did I have to leave for college in the summer? As if college matters. All I want is to be able to hold Joe. Just to see him, talk to him, just...love him," Frank ended softly, burying his head in his arms and letting his emotions consume him once again.
"I know, baby," Callie said, crying as she pulled Frank close to her.
They stayed beneath the tree on the corner for a little while longer. The night air grew chilly and the two rose slowly and walked back to the Hardy home.
"Are you going to be all right?" Callie asked him as they stopped by her car.
"Eventually," Frank said, praying he was speaking the truth. It had to quit hurting this much, didn't it?
"If you need anything?" she offered.
Frank gave her a smile, which barely curved his lips, but it was the best he could do. He kissed her forehead. "Thanks." He opened the driver's door and waited while she climbed inside.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she promised before he shut her door.
Frank remained outside and watched her drive away. After she turned the corner out of sight, he turned to face his house. It struck him then that he would never again walk through the door and find his brother sprawled out on the sofa, lazily reading a magazine or watching television.
As he walked up the steps he vividly remembered Joe there, dressed as Batman at Halloween ten years previously, and him falling down on the stairs laughing three years later as he made some silly joke that cracked him up more than any one else. He could see Joe sitting on the porch swing, laughing at the antics of Chet when he was practicing to be a clown the previous year.
Would it always hurt this much, Frank wondered, standing at the top of the porch steps and staring at the swing. Will it hurt everytime I think of him?
Two days later, Frank was still wondering. Joe's funeral was being held early in the morning. It had been agreed upon that there was no need for an autopsy and Joe's remains had been released to the Hardys.
Callie had called all the Hardys' closest friends and they had immediately canceled their plans and returned to Bayport for the funeral. The pre-funeral service was a closed casket service and afterwards, Frank, Chet , Biff, and Phil served as Pall Bearers. Frank wanted to stay as close to Joe as possible and had insisited on being the front left one.
The casket was placed beside the open grave and everyone bowed their heads to pray. Frank galnced over at the grave of his grandfather which had been refilled and grew faint. Biff, placed a hand on Frank's elbow to steady him. All too soon it was time to place the casket in the ground.
"Wait," Vanessa said, her voice loud in the silence. "Please." Everyone turned to look at her questioningly. "I...I'd like to give Joe my ring," she said, holding out her right hand where she wore the ring which had been handed down through her family for generations.
Frank nodded, knowing how much Joe would have appreciated the gesture but thinking if she really loved him she should have done it while he was still alive. Frank bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to think that. He didn't even mean it. He knew she cared for him. But he was hurting so much and the urge to strike out was growing unbearable.
Frank lifted the lid of the casket, dropping it immediately and falling back in shock. Alarmed, Mr. Hardy rushed forward and grabbed Frank but he had already stabilized himself. He shook his father's arm off and flew at the casket, lifting the lid.
"Joe," he whispered, seeing his brother lying there, his eyes looking up at him in stark terror!
Mr. Hardy swallowed before answering. "He's dead," he rasped, moving aside for her to enter. Callie walked through the foyer into the living room where Frank and the others sat.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered to Mrs. Hardy who had looked up at her arrival. Mrs. Hardy nodded, too tired to cry anymore.
"Sorry," Frank said in a loud, unintentional whisper. "I should have called you."
"Oh, honey, I understand," she said, tears falling down her face as she went to him and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her, soaking up the compassion she offered, sure he didn't deserve it.
While Callie was there, Andrea Bender, Vanessa's mother, called to find out why Vanessa hadn't returned home. Callie answered the phone and told her about Joe. Mrs. Bender said she would be over to pick up Vanessa. She didn't think it would be safe to let her drive right now. Callie agreed after looking over at Vanessa whose eyes were emotionless as she sat hugging herself in what had been Joe's favorite chair.
After Vanessa had left and Mr. and Mrs. Hardy had gone upstairs to their bedroom, Frank looked over at Callie. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked.
Callie stood up and followed Frank out the back door. She had to walk fast to keep up with him, but she didn't mind. She could see that something was eating at him and she had a bad feeling that she knew what it was. When he finally slowed down and started talking to her, she knew she had been right.
"I miss him so much," Frank told her, his voice soft yet rough. "I wasted so much time," he added and her heart began to break as he continued. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I left for college early he would have more time to prepare himself for being an adult. I was so sure he could take care of himself no matter what happened."
"Frank..." Callie tried to talk to him but he kept talking, not hearing her.
"I was so wrong. I should have stayed home this summer. Cherished every moment we had together. If I had, Joe would never have gone to camp...tried to go to camp," he amended, stopping by the tree on the corner and laying his back against it as he fought the despair which threatened to overwhelm him.
"Oh, I know. Joe and I aren't normal teenagers. We talked it out. We would always be there for each other when we were working; but not under normal circumstances." Frank bowed his head as his tears fell unchecked. "I let him down. He is...was my baby brother and I started treating him like I would treat Phil or Chet." He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. "All these weeks we could have been together and now...now I'll never see him again."
He sank to the ground, sobbing, and Callie, not knowing what to say, knelt beside him and held him. They stayed there until the moon was high in the night sky. Frank had quit crying and was sitting there, his knees pulled up to his chest with his arms around them. His eyes were focused on some distant thing only he seemed to be able to see. Callie sat beside him, quite, understanding he needed someone nearby though not invading the space he felt belonged to Joe.
"Once when we were kids, Joe asked me what I thought being dead was like," Frank spoke up after over an hour of silence. "I told him I thought it was like going to sleep." He stopped and sniffed. "He wanted to know if you dreamed when you were dead. I told him I didn't know but maybe good people had good dreams and bad people had nightmares."
Frank took a deep ragged breath and sniffed again. "He..." Frank paused and swallowed. "He asked if good people die and dream good dreams, then why everyone was so sad when someone died? I couldn't answer him but mom did. She said it was because people were selfish and wanted to keep that person with us but the person who gone to sleep was happy and wouldn't ever have to suffer or be sad."
Frank looked over into Callie's eyes, his own filled with pain. "I don't care of I am being selfish. I want Joe back."
"That's not possible," Callie began.
"You think I don't know that!" Frank demanded angrily, turning on her with eyes blazing. "I know I'll never see him again. I've lost my brother, my partner and my best friend. I'll never be able to tell him how sorry I am for letting him down. I'll never be able to..to..to tell him how much I love him." He wiped the tears from his face quickly. "Oh God, why did I have to leave for college in the summer? As if college matters. All I want is to be able to hold Joe. Just to see him, talk to him, just...love him," Frank ended softly, burying his head in his arms and letting his emotions consume him once again.
"I know, baby," Callie said, crying as she pulled Frank close to her.
They stayed beneath the tree on the corner for a little while longer. The night air grew chilly and the two rose slowly and walked back to the Hardy home.
"Are you going to be all right?" Callie asked him as they stopped by her car.
"Eventually," Frank said, praying he was speaking the truth. It had to quit hurting this much, didn't it?
"If you need anything?" she offered.
Frank gave her a smile, which barely curved his lips, but it was the best he could do. He kissed her forehead. "Thanks." He opened the driver's door and waited while she climbed inside.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she promised before he shut her door.
Frank remained outside and watched her drive away. After she turned the corner out of sight, he turned to face his house. It struck him then that he would never again walk through the door and find his brother sprawled out on the sofa, lazily reading a magazine or watching television.
As he walked up the steps he vividly remembered Joe there, dressed as Batman at Halloween ten years previously, and him falling down on the stairs laughing three years later as he made some silly joke that cracked him up more than any one else. He could see Joe sitting on the porch swing, laughing at the antics of Chet when he was practicing to be a clown the previous year.
Would it always hurt this much, Frank wondered, standing at the top of the porch steps and staring at the swing. Will it hurt everytime I think of him?
Two days later, Frank was still wondering. Joe's funeral was being held early in the morning. It had been agreed upon that there was no need for an autopsy and Joe's remains had been released to the Hardys.
Callie had called all the Hardys' closest friends and they had immediately canceled their plans and returned to Bayport for the funeral. The pre-funeral service was a closed casket service and afterwards, Frank, Chet , Biff, and Phil served as Pall Bearers. Frank wanted to stay as close to Joe as possible and had insisited on being the front left one.
The casket was placed beside the open grave and everyone bowed their heads to pray. Frank galnced over at the grave of his grandfather which had been refilled and grew faint. Biff, placed a hand on Frank's elbow to steady him. All too soon it was time to place the casket in the ground.
"Wait," Vanessa said, her voice loud in the silence. "Please." Everyone turned to look at her questioningly. "I...I'd like to give Joe my ring," she said, holding out her right hand where she wore the ring which had been handed down through her family for generations.
Frank nodded, knowing how much Joe would have appreciated the gesture but thinking if she really loved him she should have done it while he was still alive. Frank bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to think that. He didn't even mean it. He knew she cared for him. But he was hurting so much and the urge to strike out was growing unbearable.
Frank lifted the lid of the casket, dropping it immediately and falling back in shock. Alarmed, Mr. Hardy rushed forward and grabbed Frank but he had already stabilized himself. He shook his father's arm off and flew at the casket, lifting the lid.
"Joe," he whispered, seeing his brother lying there, his eyes looking up at him in stark terror!
