"Excuse me, are you Jim?"

"That's me...who are you?"

"My name's Dana Scully - you called me about my partner, Mulder."

"Oh, right...he's just gone to the john."

"So he can still walk then?"

"Just about - he did hang on to all the stools and walked into the table but, yeah, he can walk."

"Good."

"He's actually been in there for quite a while now I think about it."

"How long is 'a while'"

"About fifteen minutes or so I guess - he went not long after I hung up the phone to you."

"What the hell's he doing in there? ...What if he's passed out? Would you check on him for me please?"

"Sure...the bar's almost empty tonight anyway."

"Thank you."

"Ummm...hey."

"What is it? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. He won't come out though - says he wants you and he's not moving until you come for him."

"Did you tell him I'm here?"

"Yes. He didn't believe me - he said you wouldn't have come for him."

"What?"

"He said you would be too busy with your skin or some skin or...I'm really not sure actually."

"That doesn't make much sense - why would he say I would be too busy to come get him? - I always come get him when he needs me to."

"I don't know - he's drunk, drunk people don't usually make too much sense. Although he can talk pretty well, I can make out the words - just not what he means by them. Basically, he thinks I'm lying about you being here and so he's not going to move until he knows you're here."

"Well I'll just have to go let him know then, won't I?"

"Lady you can't go in there - it's the guys room."

"Well then tell everyone to get out, I'm going in."

"But..."

"Look, the sooner I go in there, the sooner he comes out."

"Fine, just give me a sec."

"Fine."

"Okay, it's all clear - you can go in now."

XXXXXX

"Thank you...Mulder? It's Scully."

"Scu...lly. You came..."

"Of course I came Mulder. Why wouldn't I come get you?"

"I thought you might have been busy with Skin ...Skinny ...Skinner. You know his head's shiny, I bet he polishes it every night - you don't polish it for him do you?" "

"No, I don't Mulder. I'm gonna just ignore you're comments about his head - why do you think I would have been with Skinner anyway, Mulder?"

"You mean you weren't with him? ...That means it's not him then...tell me it's not Hickey, please. It can't be him. ...I don't ...God, I'm gonna..."

"Lovely, Mulder you not have aimed for the bowl rather than the floor. Jim's not going to be too happy."

"Jim? ...his name's Jim? Stupid name ...you need someone with a better name."

"Mulder, what are you talking about?"

"You deserve better than a 'Jim' or even 'Jimmy'. Don't stay with him Scully - please? He isn't good enough."

"Okay Mulder. You are now officially making no sense whatsoever. Come on - let's get you up off the floor and out of the bathroom, and then I'll drive you home. Okay?"

"Okay Scully. You're too good to me you know. Why are you so good to me?"

"Mulder..."

"I don't deserve you - you shouldn't have to do this for me. You should be asleep in your nice warm bed."

"Yes, I should but I'm not. Now get up so I can get back there."

"Can I come too Scully? ...or will Jim be there?"

"What are you talking about Mulder? Jim's just outside the door waiting for me to get you out of his bar."

"It's his bar? ...why would you want a guy who owns a bar Scully? You should have a prince - because you're a princess. A bea...bea...lovely princess."

"Thank you Mulder, but I still don't have a clue what you're talking about. Why do you think I want Jim?"

"Then who is it Scully? ...No, I don't want to know. ...Scully, I wanna go home, I don't feel so good anymore."

"Okay then Mulder, take my hand and we'll get out of here. ...I really hope you don't forget all of this tomorrow though because I want to know what on earth you're talking about. Oh, and an explanation as to why you're so drunk would be nice too. Okay, up you get. Now let's get going. ...Mulder!"

"Yes?"

"Your hands...they're..."

"Oh, sorry."

"Mulder, that's not any better. Move them off my..."

"Sorry."

"Don't sound too sincere there Mulder. on, the car's right outside."

XXXXXX

"Mulder, would you stop that please - first of all, I'm trying to drive and second, that's not a place where your hands should be."

"Why not?"

"Mulder...never mind. You're drunk - why don't you get some sleep? ...no, not with your head on my shoulder...Mulder. I can't drive like this."

Typical - now you fall asleep. Well I guess it doesn't feel too bad, quite nice actually. I can drive like this. ...Mulder move your hand off my leg...no not higher up it. Okay telling him telepathically isn't working - let's just go for a direct approach and just remove it...or not. We're there anyway.

"Mulder, we're home... Mulder!!"

"Wh...what?"

"You were...snuggling."

"But you're breasts are so soft Scully...why can't I snuggle. I wanna snuggle."

"Well you can't...Mulder! You just licked my neck"

"I just wanted to see what it tasted like. It tastes good - does all of you taste that good?"

"Mulder...get out of the car. You're drunk, I'm tired and I don't want to spend the night in the car."

"You're hair smells wonderful Scully."

"Mulder, get your nose out of my hair, I'm getting out of the car now. Would you please do the same?!"

"Fine."

"Let's get you into bed Mulder...you need to sleep it off."

"'kay..."

"Here we are...I'll take your shoes off and then just lie down."

"Fine."

"Mulder...Let me go Mulder...No really Mulder, I need to get back up. Mulder! ... Mulder?"

zzzzz

"Great. So now you're asleep and I can't get up. Damn it Mulder."

well I suppose it can't hurt to stay here...just in case he needs any help or anything...and his arm doesn't feel so bad round my waist, and his chest is so...Stop thinking like that! He's drunk, he's asleep and...okay hand in new place - whoa, NEW place. Just move it back up to your waist and don't think about where it just was. ...Sleep Dana sleep!