A/N: I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG IN COMING!!! I really
wanted to write and update but I've been so busy and all and well...
Writing is a time-consuming affair. I got to work the instant I got on
holiday and I hope this was worth the long wait. Please review more.
They're what keeps me going despite all the obstacles life puts before
my writing of this fic! Thank you for your patience and all the reviews
I have already received. I read each and every one of them! Now, enough
babbling for now. Please accept my profuse apologies and enjoy the story
(I hope). *For those who liked the Korean bunch and thought they got way
too little 'airtime' in the manga and all, look forward to some juicy
interactions!*
Chapter 9: The Last North Star
~Akira~
My lover has absolutely no sense of responsibility. I like to sleep in too but he needs me to wake him up on the first day of the Hokuto Tournament? I adjust my tie and smoothen my shirt before walking back over to the bed where Hikaru still lies asleep. Lunch is in two hours' time and after that, the opening ceremony will start. We're supposed to meet up with Yashiro and Kurata-san, who had somehow bullied his way into being team manager again, about an hour from now and he is still far from being ready. I reach out and shake him gently. He groans and rolls over. I try again.
"Hikaru! Wake up! Today's... un." He pulls me down by my tie to kiss me. I break off. "At this rate, we'll never get down to meeting Yashiro and Kurata-san," I tell him as his hands trail down my body.
"Who cares? Whatever they're going to tell us, we'll find out later anyway." He starts caressing my rear.
"Utterly irresponsible. Lunch is in two hours time and then the opening ceremony starts after that." Against my best efforts, I feel my body responding to his burning touch.
"Mm... Maybe we'll skip that too," he murmurs against my skin as he begins undoing all the effort I put into dressing up a moment ago.
I struggle to remain in control. "Excuse me, but unless you've forgotten, I've got a speech to give at the opening ceremony. And it's all thanks to you, since you can't be relied upon to say anything polite with Young-ha in the room. Did you know Su-yon will be giving the speech this year, assumingly for a similar reason on the Korean side?" I gasp as his wet finger slides into me. I finally understand why he could never forgive Young-ha's words about Shuusaku. After everything he told me last night, I finally understand.
"Really?" he asks breathlessly, kissing me heatedly.
"Yeah," I reply as breathless as him. "After what happened last year, whoever was in charge decided that it wouldn't do for the redhead to keep insulting the Japanese in public and had Su-yon do the talking instead. As for us, they saw how you reacted last year and decided that team-leader and title-holder or not, you will most certainly not be giving the speech this year and thus, the task fell to me."
"Yes, the ever-polite Touya Akira. All hail Japan's Diplomatic Ambassador of Go Affairs," he drawls, driving me crazy with the way his body moves against mine.
I decide to ignore that, my eyes sliding shut as trails his hand down my spine. "You know, the way we're going, I'm going to have to shower again," I tell him, murmuring into his ear.
"Great; we can shower together then."
I open my eyes to look at him in mock horror. "Then we'll never get down before the ceremony's underway!" I exclaim.
"Maybe we won't get down at all."
"Hikaru!!" And then he presses into me and all I can do is scream.
* * *
Stamina. Unbelievable stamina. Well, unbelievable for a Go-player, that is. I have never been so spent in my life. We only have half an hour left to eat lunch before the opening ceremony starts and Hikaru is busy gobbling his food. The kalbi tang (beef soup) is good and I am enjoying it, but I do wish he could at least show some manners. Kurata-san is busy telling Yashiro not to do anything as risky as the 5-5 and Tengen moves he played during the Fuseki of last year's qualifiers. Hikaru and I were rather happy to know that Yashiro had beaten the rest again this year to play in this tournament. Not to mention the fact that...
"Oi. Yashiro, here he comes. Aren't you two going to cuddle up?" Hikaru asks as a tall twenty-year-old boy with jet-black hair worn with short sideburns and a long rat's tail and equally black eyes approaches.
Not to mention the fact that Yashiro had gotten himself a boyfriend and a Shougi player no less. They were on the same floor as we were and we caught the two of them kissing in the corridor. Hikaru had yet to get over needling Yashiro about the open show of affection, despite having been happy that we weren't the only ones who were going to be late in coming down. Of course, Kurata-san blew his fuses when we finally arrived together at the hotel lobby, but the general public simply turned a deaf ear and he eventually got distracted by An Ten-son anyway. Yashiro had gotten to third dan during the last year and since Lu Lee is nineteen this year, Hikaru will probably playing Wang Shi Chen in the Japan- China match. There is a new player in China's ranks and from what I heard he would most probably be second board. That means that I will be playing against Chang Li Zhe 4-dan and Yashiro will be playing with Chao Shii again this year. Evidently, Hon Su-yon had progressed much more than Im Iruf-han during the last year and will thus be my opponent. Now that Hikaru's the Honinbou, no one is complaining about his being first board. I wonder how the crowd will react if our places were switched in the Japan-China match though.
Yashiro blushes profusely and I hide a chuckle as Kuro Tatsura stops beside him at our table only to calmly ask in his mellow tenor, "Yashiro, did you choke on something? You look like you swallowed something whole."
All three of us burst out laughing as Yashiro nearly actually chokes on his food. Tatsura plays Go surprisingly well for a Shougi pro; he is, in fact, nearly maybe Ochi's level at least, so I can only guess that he is very much better at Shougi. He speaks extremely fluent Korean, English and Mandarin and works as a translator when he isn't playing his professional games. He is also the translator for this event and is thus, like Kurata- san, dressed in a black suit and tie. Hikaru opted to wear dark blue, Yashiro to wear beige, and I to wear dark green. A representative of the organizers comes to inform us that the opening ceremony is beginning and that we should head to the ballroom immediately just as we all finish eating. We stand and enter with some others as the Korean MC gets up on stage and Tatsura rushes up to her side. She introduces herself as Lee Hong-ju and I resign myself to listening to a long run of speeches. We are ushered over to where the rest of the teams are and I watch my lover tense up at the very sight of Ko Young-ha in his cream-coloured suit. Dressed in black like last year, Su-yon hurries over to greet Hikaru.
"Konnichiwa," he says with a smile.
"Anyong hase yo," he replies with a wink. Then suddenly, he feigns surprise. "Oh my God! Your Japanese is comprehensible!"
"Shut up, Shindou. It's not like your Korean pronunciation's great."
"Yeah, we all know mine's much better," I slip in softly, leaning closer to his ear.
He leans away to Look at me. "Oi, Touya. Whose side are you on?"
We both agreed to go on calling each other by our last names. No sense broadcasting our relationship to the world anyway. "Japan's, Shindou, definitely Japan's," I reply smoothly as Su-yon dissolves into laughter.
"Shindou Hikaru," Ko Young-ha greets as he comes over and slips an arm around Su-yon's waist. The younger Korean blushes slightly but neither moves nor comments.
Unwilling to be outdone, Hikaru slips an arm around my waist. "Ko Young- ha," he acknowledges.
Young-ha raises an eyebrow and smirks, but doesn't comment on the gesture. "I hear that you're the Honinbou now, Shindou," he says instead in Korean.
Our Korean isn't fantastic, but enough to understand what he says. Hikaru decides to be a jerk and refuses to reply in Korean. "Certainly and I am going to kick your natural jerk ass this year," he declares. Okay, so I don't think he knows how to say 'jerk' in Korean anyway.
Su-yon translates for his older teammate and Young-ha merely languidly offers a fluid roll of his shoulders in reply. "You said the same thing last year," he replies with a lazy smirk; neither was deliberately meant as an insult, but such was Young-ha's personality. Thus, Hikaru refers to him as a 'natural' jerk. He didn't become a jerk; he always was one. Su-yon translates for my lover.
"Well, I certainly mean it this year and I am going to kick your ass double hard for saying all those things about Shuusaku. Besides, no one is beating me in anything except the title match." I say silent thanks that Su-yon and I will be giving the speech on stage later although I still have my misgivings over Kurata-san's ability to say anything polite with An Ten-son in the room. Well, at least Yang Hai-san will be there to wrest the mike away from him in case he starts saying anything embarrassing and I guess Tatsura can just not translate.
Su-yon translates my teammate's words and Young-ha raises an eyebrow condescendingly. "You think so? Well, we'll see about that."
I decide to give Su-yon a hand and translate for Hikaru; I have been taking Korean classes much longer than he has anyway and he only knows enough to get around. He doesn't speak much conversational Korean per se and I'd be ashamed not to after more than a year of twice a week classes.
Hikaru is about to say something smug in reply when we are all distracted by some commotion up on stage. I bury my face in my hands as a repeat of last year's events happens where Yang Hai-san has to wrest the microphone away from Kurata-san before he can insult his Korean counterpart. Tatsura wisely keeps his mouth shut and does not translate whatever part of the affront Kurata-san had managed to get out. Then the MC calls for a speech by the team representatives and we walk up to the stage together. It seems that this year, all the second board players will be making the speech. We all say some very polite but meaningless rubbish and then the lots are drawn for the order of matches. One match will be played today and two tomorrow. The line-up turned out as follows:
1st match: China-Korea 2nd match: Japan-Korea 3rd match: China-Japan
We have one hour before the match between both our opponents begins and we decide that we are definitely watching the games. We move through the throng of people to the refreshments table to get ourselves a drink when suddenly, a familiar voice speaks from behind.
"My, my; what a small world."
All three of us spin around abruptly. Silence. Blink. Twice.
"Aunt Kasumi!" Yashiro exclaims happily and steps forward to give the High Priestess of Inari a hug.
She returns it calmly, but no less affectionately. "It would seem that some congratulations are in order," she tells us with a smile.
I resolutely fight down the blush I feel rising in my cheeks. Hikaru does not seem bothered.
"Thank you, Kasumi-sama" he replies graciously, with a slight bow.
"You've met?" Yashiro asks incredulously.
"Yes, but we had no idea she was your aunt," I answer.
"Well, step-aunt actually, but the best one I have. The one and only family member I have that approves of my playing Go professionally," Yashiro declares with evident pride and joy. He is grateful for even the tiniest bit of family support seeing as he doesn't have any. I am happy for him; I truly am. He is a strong player and it is a pity that his family doesn't approve of his profession.
"Kasumi-sama," greets a voice reverently from behind. Kuro Tatsura is on one knee even! Truly, she must be held in extremely high esteem.
"Rise, Tatsura-kun; it is not a proper time for such gestures."
He stands. I feel many pairs of eyes on us. Then she looks around at the crowd and it is only then that I realize the strength of her presence as all bow, incline their heads, or at least lower their gazes. There is a long moment of respectful and reverent silence.
"Blessings be upon you. My Mistress Who Gives Life rewards those who show reverence," she says softly in her musical alto, her power evident and the very words hanging in the air. "Let all who worship be at peace."
Those who know what should be said in response say so and those who don't simply bow some more, then business resumes as usual in the room. I infer that her words were heard in whatever language the listeners understood since most of the people in the room do not speak Japanese.
"I had no idea you were here, Aunt Kasumi. Will you be staying to watch the matches?" Yashiro asks hopefully.
"Nay, Yashiro. I must return soon. There is an energy imbalance in Japan that requires rectification and as such, my presence is required there. Darkness lingers at the borders of long-standing barriers and the balance of energies that holds the barriers is off. The barriers weaken; if something is not done and soon, bad things will begin to happen. I am here because there is a spiritual matter here that warrants my attention and then, I thought I'd drop by to see you while I was around."
"Oh well, I don't understand a word of what you mean, but it is too bad. I wish you could see me win."
"Do your best, Yashiro. The grace of the Gods is with all of you."
"Aunt Kasumi, you have the gift of foresight; tell me, what do you see?" Yashiro enquires quietly.
"That is not for you to know, my child. Do your best; the future is not yet set in stone."
"But..."
"Yashiro," Tatsura interrupts suddenly, a hint of warning in his voice.
"Very well," he accepts disconsolately.
"I wish you both happiness and all of you good fortune," she tells Hikaru and I. For some reason, when her eyes fall on me, they are somewhat troubled. "Now, I must be going."
We all bow slightly and she turns and sweeps out of the room. For a long time, there is silence between us.
Suddenly, Hikaru says brightly, "Well, she said that we could shape the future. That means that there is great hope, don't you think?"
I smile at him. "Aa," I agree. "There is much hope and we will win this year."
Yashiro nods determinedly and Tatsura simply smiles and slips an arm around Yashiro's waist in response. But still I wonder what it was she saw about me that bothered her.
* * *
"I told my mom about us, Aki."
I turn to look at my lover, water cascading down our bodies as I stand with him in the shower. "Well?"
"Well what?" he asks innocently, his soap-slick hands roaming seemingly aimlessly over my body.
"Well, what did she say?" I clarify.
"Well, let's just say she wasn't surprised. She was rather dismayed, though, at the prospect of never having grandchildren."
"Sounds like my mother," I remark.
"Well, yeah, they're mothers," he informs me as if it should be awfully obvious. "I told her we'd adopt someday."
I raise an eyebrow as his hands wander ever lower. "Really. I don't recall you asking if I was interested."
"Well, are you?" he asks, moving closer to kiss me on my neck.
"Hm... Could I ever refuse you anything when you're doing this?"
"That was the whole idea, koi." He moves his mouth to suck on my nipple instead and I let my hands slide down his body.
"Hm... I guess I uh... don't really want to... say no then," I murmur as he continues to arouse me.
"Thought so."
"Mm... Let's get out of the water now," I suggest, reaching around to turn off the tap.
"Let's just do it right here," he counters before I can reach it.
"Right here?" I echo, pausing.
"Uh-huh. I don't like wet sheets and I don't like waiting and I think you like it even less."
"Um... Can I be on top tonight?" I ask tentatively.
He looks up at me for a really long time and I am about to dismiss the suggestion when he grins widely suddenly. "Ooh, Aki-chan... Didn't know you had that in you..." he drawls seductively as he presses up against me.
I smirk and lean in to kiss him. I realize suddenly that I know very little about this and I hesitate. He senses my hesitation and pulls back slightly.
"You _are_ my first too, you know," he informs me.
"I am?" How did he ever learn so much?
"Of course you are, 'Kira. What, you thought I slept around or something?"
"No! But you seem to know so much and I... well... Where _did_ you learn how to?"
He grins like the cat that ate the canary and doesn't answer.
"Hikaru..." I whine at him. Never thought I'd ever see the day when I'd find myself whining, but hey, life's about discoveries, right?
"'Kira..." he mimics mischievously.
"Oh, so now it's 'Kira?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Aki... 'Kira... koi... whatever. You're you and you're mine," he declares, gesturing vaguely. The warm water is very therapeutic and very, very sexy running down his body.
"Un. And mine," I tell him possessively, pressing closer.
"You?"
"No, you. And you still haven't told me where you learnt all this stuff."
"Manga," he replies matter-of-factly.
"You can't be serious."
"I am," he tells me. "Very serious. Very, very, very serious." He nods sagely as if agreeing with himself.
"I don't want to know," I decide.
"Oh, so now you don't want to know. Just when I was about to let you in on some great voyeuristic material."
"Hikaru?"
"Yes, koi?"
I press him down to the base of the bathtub by his shoulders. "Just shut up."
* * *
Hikaru is up before me today. I yawn and stretch sleepily; he looks up from the book of Shuusaku's kifu that he is reading while opening and closing his fan to smile at me. It must the whole idea of playing Young-ha today that has him all psyched up. From what we saw yesterday during the China- Korea game, our opponents have grown as well. Korea won 2-1. I drag myself up to cross over to where he is sitting. I haven't got any clothes on after what we did last night and he resolutely looks away. He is fully dressed and ready to go down for lunch and the matches today. I know that he isn't in the mood today, so I pull on a viridian kimono that I left draped over a chair yesterday and finish tying the sash before coming to place my hands tentatively on tense shoulders. He relaxes somewhat almost instantly at my touch and reaches up to lay his hand over mine after dropping the fan on his lap.
"Does it have a special significance? The fan, I mean," I enquire of him quietly.
"Sai," he answers easily. "He gave me a similar one in a dream."
"Aa." There are no more mysteries, no more secrets... I still love him so damn much.
"He was smiling, 'Kira..." he whispered. "I miss him."
I remain silent as I begin massaging his shoulders.
"I have to win today. As long as I'm alive, I won't let anyone look down on Sai. He exists in my Go, so I have to win."
"I know, Hikaru, I know," I tell him. I'll win too... for you, for me... for us.
"I want him to continue smiling."
"He left on May the 5th?" I guess. I remember that he went to the Shuusaku memorial crying last year, the night he lost the last match of the first Hokuto Cup to Ko Young-ha. I went with him that night because... because I loved him even then, although I didn't realize it that time. We stayed there the whole night. I bought drinks and for a long time we just sat in silence. He didn't tell me why he was there and after knowing him for so long, I learned not to ask. I still remember that night so vividly in my mind. It was three in the morning and we were finally leaving the memorial. We stood at a taxi stand, waiting for a cab to show up when he just suddenly turned to me and said, "Thanks." I asked him what he was thanking me for and he replied, "For coming. I... It was nice, not being here alone." And I think that's when we actually started to become friends instead of just rivals. We still weren't close or friendly and knowing about Sai was still my first priority, but for once it wasn't just solely about Go. He went again with flowers on the last 5th of May, then again after becoming a Honinbou.
"Yeah, I miss him a lot, Aki. He understood me, I guess, since he could hear my thoughts and all. At times, I feel lonely without him hanging around me whining like a puppy for me to play Go with him."
I pause, then come around and lean over to brush my lips gently against his. I look into his eyes almost in desperation. "But you have me now," I say, searching his eyes.
"Yes, 'Kira, I do." He smiles softly, the most beautiful of smiles.
I find what I am looking for and suddenly, I feel my love for him overflowing in my heart and my chest feels like it's going to burst. I don't know why, but whenever I feel any particular emotion, I tend to feel it in extremes. Perhaps it's because I'm usually so indifferent to everything and I don't express myself much, so when I do, it tends to come out in a rush all at once.
"I love you, Aki. Don't ever doubt that."
I don't ever want to have to. I love you too damn much. Now that I know what I'm missing, I don't think I can live without you in my life, Hikaru. I hold his gaze with my own and try to convey everything I'm feeling with my eyes; these feelings, they're too powerful, too strong. I could never put them into words; they wouldn't be same. "I love you too. I don't doubt it, Hikaru, don't ever let me," I tell him simply.
He closes the book and puts it with the fan on the table before pulling me close. I'm on my knees with my head resting against his chest. His arms are wrapped around me and it's very warm. I want to stay this way forever, with my arms around his waist in this wonderful silence. I know he does too. I know he understands. Above all, I know how much he loves me and that is all I really need. We remain that way for a really long time and then suddenly, I notice something amusing and begin chuckling.
"What?" he asks, the atmosphere switching suddenly.
"No, just that you're switching pet names around so often! 'Kira, Aki, 'Kira, Aki, Aki 'Kira..."
"It's still you and you're still mine," he points out.
I smile at that. "Un. Yours always," I tell him and settle back in comfortably.
~Hikaru~
Team Korea is already there by the time we all come down for lunch. Ko Young-ha smirks at the sight of us; cocky bastard must think he's already beaten me even before the game begins. I'm going to wipe that smug look off his natural jerk face permanently. I sit down next to my lover and order a samgyetang (ginseng chicken soup) for lunch. Korean food isn't bad, though I still like home's ramen better. Besides, the Koreans don't make Japanese food very well, and Su-yon would probably agree that the Japanese don't make good Korean food either. Thus, it would generally be advisable to eat local. Of course, being a 5-star hotel would mean that the international cuisine isn't bad, but it still wouldn't beat home. Next to me, Aki orders the same while Yashiro and Tatsura opposite decide to share a bulgogi. I casually slip an arm around Aki's waist and he sidles closer. I resist the urge to kiss him or touch him where I know it will make him whimper in passion. Whenever he does that and his lips tremble slightly, I think that I've never seen anything sexier. To think that he thought we'd only do it once; I think I'm going to spend the next few nights making mad passionate love to him, my beautiful Aki. I quickly squish the thoughts before they can torment me as Su-yon comes over from the Korean side. Yashiro and Tatsura quickly take the excuse to sit closer to each other by making space for him on their side of the table. I roll my eyes at them; as if the joined sofa-like seats at our table weren't already conducive enough.
"Hey, Shindou, uh..." he begins, a little nervously in Japanese as he sits down.
"Yeah?"
"You know, about last year..."
"Yeah?" I coax again.
"I'm sick and tired of all this stupidity. I'm here to clear things up," he says, frustrated.
"What's there to clear up?" It was pretty clear that everything I had been told was true. The 'natural' jerk said so himself.
"Well, it's kind of complicated. Tatsura-san, can you translate for me? I think I can say everything in Japanese but I don't want to accidentally cause anymore misunderstandings."
Tatsura nods and Su-yon starts rattling off in Korean. "Well, the first time was a total misunderstanding. Young-ha didn't say anything bad about Shuusaku. His words were just completely mistranslated. What he really said was that Japan was weak because people study Shuusaku and others of the past without understanding the essence of their play. Then, he said that if Japan is weak, then great players of the past like Shuusaku will be forgotten and that would be unfortunate. It was just a complete mistranslation."
Okay, I'm still sceptical. "Well, what about the second time then? And you didn't say anything before or after the whole thing so..."
"The second time, he said that on purpose."
"Whatever the hell for?"
At this point, Su-yon switches back to Japanese. "Because he's stupid like that sometimes!!" he replies, looking ready to tear out his hair in frustration.
"Really. I thought he was stupid like that all the time," I remark dryly.
My Korean friend wisely decides to ignore me and reverts back to his first language. "He wanted you to play your best against him, I guess. He sort of guessed you would insist on being first board just to play him, what with you being so angry over the whole thing and all, I guess, so he decided to stir things up further. He didn't really mean a word of all the horrid things he said about Shuusaku. He studies Shuusaku's games himself," Tatsura translates for me.
"What, he thought I needed help playing my best for my team and country? I have plenty of motivation and inspiration without his help, thank you very much."
"I don't know. The point is he didn't really mean anything bad about Shuusaku. As for why I didn't explain sooner, it's because he wouldn't let me."
"So why are you explaining now? Did he tell you to?"
"No. In fact, he'd generally kill me if he found out that I told you before the game."
"So why are you telling me all this now?"
"Because he's being an immature idiot and I don't like that!! I'm sick and tired of his idiocy!!" he grates out angrily in Japanese. All of a sudden, he looks really exhausted. "Besides, I don't want people to think that the Young-ha that I love and admire is that kind of person..." he continues in a soft, tired voice.
I reach out and squeeze his hand with a grin. "Hey, don't worry. I'll still play my best. After all the trouble he went to, I guess it'd be bad to disappoint him, huh? Besides, I have plenty of other reasons to want to beat him flat." I tighten the arm around my lover briefly. "He is still a jerk, I still want to win, and I'll be damned if I let anyone beat the Honinbou in anything but the title match. As for the title match, I intend to be keeping this title for a long time to come," I declare smugly before turning to Aki. "And you, koi, if I don't win the Meijin title soon, you'd better win it," I tell him firmly.
He rolls his eyes. "What, you think I need to be told? I have plenty of motivation and inspiration without your help, thank you very much."
Trust the sweet jerk to throw my own words back at me the first chance he gets. I poke him in the ribs and he jumps slightly, only to glare balefully at me. I look at the steaming bowl of soup in front of me and suddenly decide that I'm very hungry. I pick up my chopsticks and spoon and grin. "Well, now that everything's cleared up... Itadakimasu!" I say cheerfully and dig in.
Aki and Su-yon just simultaneously shake their heads.
* * *
I nigiri silently where I sit opposite Ko Young-ha. He takes out a handful of stones and I place two down. Even. I win. Black. Aki's white and Yashiro's black. I will not allow a repeat of last year's defeat, I decide resolutely as I place my first stone on my upper left komoku as the buzzer sounds for us to begin the game and tap the match clock. I wonder if he already knows that Su-yon explained everything. In any case, I don't hate him anymore but I still don't like that cocksure jerk in front of me either. He responds to my move and taps his. The game progresses in silence. Ten minutes later, the fight has begun and I'm pondering my next move. If I attack the centre, he might be able to 'cut my head off' as Sai used to say, but if I manage to live, I would have already won the game. How about if I reinforce the left side and try to gain territory on the lower left corner? No, not quite enough and he won't make it easy. Perhaps I could try to trap him on the upper right? He's not quite thick there yet. But the centre... Some of white's stones are in pretty bad shapes down there... If I could exploit that... Suddenly, I catch sight of a rather inconspicuous intersection. I perpend the idea for a moment, reading ahead as far as I can. If I play there... If I carry on correctly and he plays where I expect him to... I might be able to separate white's stones on either side from each other and kill a fair number of stones. The vital point is how he plays the very next move; if he doesn't play the next move correctly, then the group I am going to make will definitely live and cause him no end of problems. Those stones... I want to tear them apart. I decide that I have only one stone to lose if he does see through the move in any case and I can always abandon the plan anyway. I place my stone on said intersection and tap my match clock, waiting in hopeful anticipation. I grip my fan tightly and watch anxiously as he reaches for a stone and his hand moves to the board. His two fingers hover with the stone above the board for a few painfully long moments before landing on an intersection not too faraway. I hide a smile of victory and relief. He's wrong. I place my next stone and tap my match clock. The end is in sight. This time, Ko Young-ha, I win.
~Akira~
I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. I will not lose to... Oh, sod that. I won't lose to anybody. Well, it's not like I haven't already lost to Hikaru. But Hikaru's going to win this year, so I can't lose either. Losing is NOT an option. So I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. Also, this might be my last Hokuto Cup. I was looking forward to playing next year as well, but now... If I'm going to leave the Go world, then I will leave it in pride and victory. If I have to die, I will die in happiness and love. Hikaru will kiss me and smile for me till the very last moment. I will not let anyone take that away from me. They don't have the right. So I'll never lose. Not to Hon Su-yon, not to any opponent I will ever face. With that unyielding conviction, I place every single white stone on the board before me. With that unwavering certainty, I fight every battle to the very end. With that steadfast determination, I strive to claim every last moku on that polished wood-grained surface. I will never admit defeat till it is shoved in my face with a bludgeon wearing a nametag. I'll win this game for you, Hikaru. For me... For us. Because I love you. Because I love Go. Because I love life. Because I love us. So I won't let go. I won't give up till the bitter end. I won't let you down, Hikaru. So win, Hikaru, and step forward. No matter where we go, I'll always be with you. Our journey will never end. There is no end. We'll traverse this road together, climb every mountain, and cross every valley. Because no matter how far apart we go, our hearts will always stay together. That is our strength, the strength of our bond, of our love. And I have faith in that. I have faith in us. So I will hold on to that faith. As long as you are with me, I can overcome anything. *You* are my Hand of God, Hikaru, my one perfect move, the best and most perfect game I will ever play. And I love you, Hikaru. And I love you.
* * *
I stare at the finished game before me and hide a smile before slipping into the almost automatic movements of Seichi. I have won, I believe, by 2.5 moku. Su-yon looks distressed at the idea of losing. I meticulously move the stones into as perfect squares as I can make them; that is to say, very perfect indeed. I count my opponent's territory and reach the verdict the exact same time as the announcer. Yup, 2.5 moku. Su-yon looks dismayed. I thank him for the game and stand. I resolutely resist the urge to cross right over to my lover's table and go to look at Yashiro's game instead. He's losing. Quite a big difference too. I sigh mentally. Yashiro's a great player and all, yes, but he lacks Iruf-han's ruthlessness on the Goban. I had a great game with Su-yon, but I feel that I'm better suited against Iruf-han than Yashiro is. Perhaps I should have requested to be third board. Finally, I quietly pad over to where Hikaru still plays against Young-ha. It is yose. Hikaru's stones! That group in the middle of the board! How did that get there?! With black's large living group in the middle of the board, white has been efficiently separated. I watch as the older Korean wipes his hands with the towel provided; his hands are probably sweating now. I cannot see how the game was played. I look up and catch sight of the same stunned and confused look on Su-yon's face. I vow to have Hikaru replay the game for me. I want to know how he did that. That's why you're my eternal rival, Hikaru, that's why it had to be you. Kurata-san and An Ten-son come running in from the discussion room. The game is close despite the feat Hikaru has managed in the centre; Young-ha is a strong player and he has succeeded in catching up a great deal. The two players place their last stones with a resounding pachi and anxiously begin Seichi. The tension hangs thickly in the air as the two players move the stones with practiced efficiency. My father comes up from behind me and I turn to respectfully lower my head and embrace him. I give my mother a hug as well before turning back to the board. I heard that my father dropped by last year, but refrained from coming to see me. Perhaps both my parents are here watching this year because we have very little time left together. My father has even been reducing his travels in favour of being with me. I feel so blessed, really, to have all these wonderful people who care about me. I almost wish I learned to treasure all this earlier, especially Hikaru. Yashiro has finished his game and is now standing next to me with Tatsura. He lost by a full 6.5 moku. I still think he is ill suited against Iruf- han. The Korean's aggressive fighting and ruthless pursuit of victory is more reminiscent of my style. I look back at the board as the last squares are formed. Win this, Hikaru!! I grip the back of his chair so tightly that my knuckles turn white as Hikaru and Young-ha begin counting. Black 100 to white 92. With the komi, Hikaru wins by 1.5 moku! I feel tears of joy gather in my eyes as the win is officially announced. Hikaru slowly stands and I throw my arms around him, not caring if the whole world found out that we were gay and hopelessly in love. I bury my face in his shoulder and shed a few tears of joy. We won against Korea! Right now, I feel like I can do anything. We'll definitely beat China as well.
My lover wraps his arms gently around me and murmurs softly in my ear. "Need I ask?"
I giggle in spite of myself. "No," I answer, raising my head to look up at him from under long eyelashes.
Hikaru looks up at Ko Young-ha as the 2-1 win is announced. My cocky brat smirks arrogantly. "Beat you this time," he tells his Korean opponent smugly.
The other merely offers a fluid roll of his shoulders in response. "Pity it's my last year. I would have crushed you next time," he replies smoothly.
Off to one side, I see Su-yon smack his forehead in exasperation as Tatsura translates for us.
"Oh yeah?!" Hikaru challenges, rising to the bait instantly. "Su-yon! We're doing it again this year, right? I'm staying on a few days!"
Su-yon sighs expressively. "Yes. Yes, we are. I'll give you an address later."
My lover turns back to Young-ha. "Wanna bet you can beat me?! You come along and we'll see who crushes who!"
Tatsura translates and the older Korean just shrugs languidly. "I'll see if I have nothing better to do."
"YOUNG-HA!!! Stop being an immature jerk!!" Su-yon screeches suddenly.
Everyone within earshot stops. Stares. Blinks. Quite a number of times, in fact. Even Young-ha is taken aback. Su-yon said that here at that volume in Korean. Tatsura translates both lines for Hikaru and Yashiro and my teammates have to keep from laughing despite the shock. Hell, even Kurata- san is astonished into silence. I look from Su-yon to Young-ha and back. Both Iruf-han and An Ten-son look like they each swallowed a fish and it moved.
"I can't stand it when you're being like this!!" Su-yon continues, only slightly softer than the last.
"How can you stand him at all? He's always like this," Hikaru remarks dryly.
I nudge my lover meaningfully and Su-yon either wisely decides to pretend not to hear or is too busy being furious at his lover to notice. People begin to get back to whatever it was they were doing before his initial outburst, deciding that the quarrel was absolutely none of their business, being off the Goban and all.
Suddenly, Su-yon looks positively exhausted. I almost pity him. "Look, I don't care anymore alright? I just don't care anymore! Be that way! From now on, I'll just mind my own business!!" he throws over his sagging shoulders as he walks tiredly away.
"Su-yon..." Young-ha begins.
"I'm not talking to you!!" the other calls back angrily without even turning before he disappears out of the ballroom.
Young-ha turns to look first back at us, then at the ballroom entrance, probably debating whether or not to follow his lover. Finally, he decides that pride isn't quite worth it and turns to walk briskly out after Su-yon.
* * *
"Hikaru."
My lover turns to face me, face a mask of determination. He nods. "Let's go."
I turn the doorknob and exit our room, leading the way down the corridor. Yashiro is waiting with Tatsura a little way away and they join us as we walk towards the elevators. We enter the elevator and push the appropriate button. The tension is thick in the air. Last year, we were dead last. It won't happen again. This year, we want to be first. There was a three-hour break between the matches. We spent some time taking turns playing ten- second-per-hand speed Go in Yashiro and Tatsura's room before retiring to take a break in our own rooms. Apparently, while being Ochi's level normally, Tatsura can actually beat Yashiro at speed Go. His intuition is better than his strategising. I find it interesting that he can actually play better when he doesn't think. It's almost amusing. The ding of the elevator snaps my train of thought. We walk out, tenacity in our every step, this time with Hikaru leading the way. We enter the ballroom together and Tatsura then takes his leave to run up to where the MC and the organizers are. I spot Young-ha and Iruf-han off to one side, but Su-yon is nowhere to be seen. He's probably on strike in the room, still mad at Young-ha. Hikaru slips an arm around my waist, his other hand holding his fan. I inch closer to his side. The people who notice don't comment while Yashiro just looks absently off to where Tatsura is standing, lost in conversation with the organizers. Suddenly, someone taps me on the shoulder and Hikaru turns with me.
"Su-yon," I acknowledge.
"Shh..." the black-haired boy silences me, spying over my shoulder to where Young-ha and Iruf-han are. "Phew... They haven't noticed," he says with relief.
"Even Iruf-han?" Hikaru questions curiously.
"Iruf-han's on Young-ha's side. He came to talk to me just now and he just went on and on about how I should just give Young-ha a break, so I chased him out saying that Young-ha should give me a break," Su-yon replies, arms crossed over his chest in obvious annoyance. "He just doesn't understand. Anyway, it doesn't matter."
"Right. I thought you would have locked yourself up in the room, double- bolted and latched the door so that Young-ha couldn't use his card-key, and positively refused to come out or see anyone," I tell him.
He smiles ruefully. "That's what I did."
"So why are you here now? What made you decide to come out?" my lover asks.
"My love for Go," the young Korean replies with a sheepish grin. "I wanted to watch the Japan-China match. Good luck, guys; I hope you win."
"What about Young-ha?" Hikaru enquires.
"What about him?"
"Are you going to reconcile with that 'natural' jerk anytime soon?"
At that, Su-yon sighs heavily. "I don't think so." He looks off absently in Young-ha's direction. "I'm exhausted; I really am. I think we need some time off from each other. I can't stand it anymore." He slides his eyes shut wearily.
"It isn't just the whole business with Shuusaku and me, right?"
Our friend looks up in mild surprise.
I smile to myself. Hikaru can be rather perceptive at times. At other times... he's just dense.
"No, it's a lot more than that. We've been having some problems lately." Su- yon massages his temples tiredly. "Our parents found out and stuff. His parents don't care either way, maybe because he's the third of four sons... I don't know. They also most probably support his playing Go professionally because he is now financially independent. But my parents don't quite approve of the relationship. They don't mind me playing Go for a living but I'm the only son and well, they want the lineage continued and stuff like that. He knows and he's just adopting this lackadaisical attitude about everything, changing the subject when I bring it up and all. It's like I shouldn't care about everything else and that's just not possible. I don't know how he can expect me not to care when it's all about the people I care about and even if he couldn't help, he could at least be supportive, which he isn't. He's the reason I'm going through all of this shit anyway."
Hikaru and I exchange glances. We didn't know it was that bad. I suddenly feel a newfound respect for them, especially Su-yon, for being able to concentrate and play such strong Go despite the weight of so many problems on his mind.
"These days it's like it's just all about Go and sex between us," the black- haired boy continues. "Not that I mind either for what it's worth; it's never unpleasant, but it's just that the closer and more intimate we get physically, the further away I feel from him emotionally and I... I just can't take much more of this," he finishes miserably.
Hikaru releases me and steps forward to give the young Korean a hug. He doesn't resist, instead wearily dropping his head on to my lover's shoulder. I feel a pang of jealousy grip my heart and resolutely fight it down. But then, Hikaru meets my gaze as he pats a trembling Su-yon comfortingly on the back and it just disappears entirely. There is only sympathy and kind understanding in his eyes. It is nothing like the way he looks at me. I remember this morning and I understand. I am just being silly with my possessive jealousy. I know best that he doesn't feel about anyone else the way he feels for me. I smile softly at him and he returns the gesture before releasing the other boy. I notice a little moisture on my lover's shoulder as Su-yon rubs his eyes. He cried. I sigh. It must be really hard on him.
"Sorry," he mumbles with a crooked smile.
"Nah... No sweat. It'll dry. Don't worry about it," Hikaru replies reassuringly with a sunny smile.
Su-yon smiles gratefully. "Thanks." He sighs. "Young-ha knows. I've told him before that I hate it when he's being an immature jerk and he just keeps doing that. Just now was like the last straw for me with everything else and all, you know."
I nod understandingly.
Hikaru chuckles. "You know, Su-yon, I actually think you're going to have to let him off the hook for that."
We both raise an eyebrow. Shindou Hikaru? Putting in good words for Ko Young-ha? This must be an impostor. Either that, or he's finally lost it. And I quote a book I read once: Miso beans have finally turned to paste.
My lover laughs some more. "You see, I don't think he means to be a jerk. He can't help it; it's in his genes or something. He's a 'natural' jerk. See, he didn't become one; he always was one." He dissolves into near- hysterical laughter.
Su-yon just offers him a withering look in response.
I decide to chance a question. "You still love him then?"
Hikaru Looks at me like it should be obvious, but there is something I want to know. I meet the Korean's gaze searchingly.
He doesn't even falter, either in gaze of in voice as he answers me. "Of course I do. I always have and I always will," he tells me, eyes bright. "There never was another for me and I doubt there ever will be. It's just..." He sighs. "I just don't know anymore... I just don't know."
I find what I am looking for in his eyes. It is the same, really, a reflection of how I feel about Hikaru. It isn't just the words; the look in his deep black eyes when he said that was exactly the same one I had when I was in Hikaru's arms this morning. And I understand. I reach out and squeeze his arm comfortingly. "I know what you mean, Su-yon. I know what you mean," I tell him softly. If Hikaru one day stopped caring about me, I know I would be just as lost. I pray that never happens. And then I turn to look Hikaru in the eyes and I realize with amazing conviction that it will never happen. I smile at him again and he smiles back. I really don't want to die. I've got so much to lose now, too much, and I don't want to let him go. Hikaru...
"Aki, quit giving everyone that Touya-stare of yours," he tells me, exasperated. We decided to drop the pretences, since after yesterday and today's display, everyone likely already knew.
"What Touya-stare?" I ask, raising my voice slightly.
"You know, the one that looks like this." He launches into an extremely over exaggerated imitation of my supposed expression and I'm not sure if I should be livid or amused.
I feel my eye twitch as fury takes over. "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT."
"Yes, you do. And you've been doing that to –like- everyone lately," he ripostes.
"I do not!!"
"Do to!!" He sticks his tongue out at me in a startling display of immaturity.
"DO NOT!!"
"DO TO!!!"
"DO NOT! DO NOT!! DO NOT!!!" I yell at about a hundred and seventy decibels.
"DO TO!! DO TO!! DO TO!!!" Hikaru shouts back at about the same volume. Right about now, nearly everyone in the ballroom is staring at us.
I note the amused look on Su-yon's face as he leans in to ask Yashiro, "Uh... Are these two for real?"
"Trust me, you haven't seen the worst of it. And yes, it's for real. They do this all the time," the Kansai boy replies, already blasé with regards to our rather volatile interactions.
"Excuse me, but will Team Japan and Team China please come forward now. The match is about to begin," Tatsura translates smoothly for the MC.
Hikaru and I stop short in the middle of our argument. We exchange glances with Yashiro. Su-yon wishes us a final 'good luck' and we turn together and make our way to the front, all quarrels forgotten. Today, we end this battle and we will emerge the victors.
A/N: Kuro Tatsura is an original character. He practices reiki and stuff
like that, so he really holds High Priestess Kasumi in very high esteem.
In case you're wondering about her reappearance, Toukou Kasumi is the
most important OC in this fic and she has one more crucial part to play,
so I'm trying to develop her a little bit more. Tatsura will be sticking
around for a while more too, so I hope you like both of them. Thank you
all for being so patient! I loved receiving all your reviews; they're
what really makes all the effort of writing worthwhile. May I request
more? ^.^
wanted to write and update but I've been so busy and all and well...
Writing is a time-consuming affair. I got to work the instant I got on
holiday and I hope this was worth the long wait. Please review more.
They're what keeps me going despite all the obstacles life puts before
my writing of this fic! Thank you for your patience and all the reviews
I have already received. I read each and every one of them! Now, enough
babbling for now. Please accept my profuse apologies and enjoy the story
(I hope). *For those who liked the Korean bunch and thought they got way
too little 'airtime' in the manga and all, look forward to some juicy
interactions!*
Chapter 9: The Last North Star
~Akira~
My lover has absolutely no sense of responsibility. I like to sleep in too but he needs me to wake him up on the first day of the Hokuto Tournament? I adjust my tie and smoothen my shirt before walking back over to the bed where Hikaru still lies asleep. Lunch is in two hours' time and after that, the opening ceremony will start. We're supposed to meet up with Yashiro and Kurata-san, who had somehow bullied his way into being team manager again, about an hour from now and he is still far from being ready. I reach out and shake him gently. He groans and rolls over. I try again.
"Hikaru! Wake up! Today's... un." He pulls me down by my tie to kiss me. I break off. "At this rate, we'll never get down to meeting Yashiro and Kurata-san," I tell him as his hands trail down my body.
"Who cares? Whatever they're going to tell us, we'll find out later anyway." He starts caressing my rear.
"Utterly irresponsible. Lunch is in two hours time and then the opening ceremony starts after that." Against my best efforts, I feel my body responding to his burning touch.
"Mm... Maybe we'll skip that too," he murmurs against my skin as he begins undoing all the effort I put into dressing up a moment ago.
I struggle to remain in control. "Excuse me, but unless you've forgotten, I've got a speech to give at the opening ceremony. And it's all thanks to you, since you can't be relied upon to say anything polite with Young-ha in the room. Did you know Su-yon will be giving the speech this year, assumingly for a similar reason on the Korean side?" I gasp as his wet finger slides into me. I finally understand why he could never forgive Young-ha's words about Shuusaku. After everything he told me last night, I finally understand.
"Really?" he asks breathlessly, kissing me heatedly.
"Yeah," I reply as breathless as him. "After what happened last year, whoever was in charge decided that it wouldn't do for the redhead to keep insulting the Japanese in public and had Su-yon do the talking instead. As for us, they saw how you reacted last year and decided that team-leader and title-holder or not, you will most certainly not be giving the speech this year and thus, the task fell to me."
"Yes, the ever-polite Touya Akira. All hail Japan's Diplomatic Ambassador of Go Affairs," he drawls, driving me crazy with the way his body moves against mine.
I decide to ignore that, my eyes sliding shut as trails his hand down my spine. "You know, the way we're going, I'm going to have to shower again," I tell him, murmuring into his ear.
"Great; we can shower together then."
I open my eyes to look at him in mock horror. "Then we'll never get down before the ceremony's underway!" I exclaim.
"Maybe we won't get down at all."
"Hikaru!!" And then he presses into me and all I can do is scream.
* * *
Stamina. Unbelievable stamina. Well, unbelievable for a Go-player, that is. I have never been so spent in my life. We only have half an hour left to eat lunch before the opening ceremony starts and Hikaru is busy gobbling his food. The kalbi tang (beef soup) is good and I am enjoying it, but I do wish he could at least show some manners. Kurata-san is busy telling Yashiro not to do anything as risky as the 5-5 and Tengen moves he played during the Fuseki of last year's qualifiers. Hikaru and I were rather happy to know that Yashiro had beaten the rest again this year to play in this tournament. Not to mention the fact that...
"Oi. Yashiro, here he comes. Aren't you two going to cuddle up?" Hikaru asks as a tall twenty-year-old boy with jet-black hair worn with short sideburns and a long rat's tail and equally black eyes approaches.
Not to mention the fact that Yashiro had gotten himself a boyfriend and a Shougi player no less. They were on the same floor as we were and we caught the two of them kissing in the corridor. Hikaru had yet to get over needling Yashiro about the open show of affection, despite having been happy that we weren't the only ones who were going to be late in coming down. Of course, Kurata-san blew his fuses when we finally arrived together at the hotel lobby, but the general public simply turned a deaf ear and he eventually got distracted by An Ten-son anyway. Yashiro had gotten to third dan during the last year and since Lu Lee is nineteen this year, Hikaru will probably playing Wang Shi Chen in the Japan- China match. There is a new player in China's ranks and from what I heard he would most probably be second board. That means that I will be playing against Chang Li Zhe 4-dan and Yashiro will be playing with Chao Shii again this year. Evidently, Hon Su-yon had progressed much more than Im Iruf-han during the last year and will thus be my opponent. Now that Hikaru's the Honinbou, no one is complaining about his being first board. I wonder how the crowd will react if our places were switched in the Japan-China match though.
Yashiro blushes profusely and I hide a chuckle as Kuro Tatsura stops beside him at our table only to calmly ask in his mellow tenor, "Yashiro, did you choke on something? You look like you swallowed something whole."
All three of us burst out laughing as Yashiro nearly actually chokes on his food. Tatsura plays Go surprisingly well for a Shougi pro; he is, in fact, nearly maybe Ochi's level at least, so I can only guess that he is very much better at Shougi. He speaks extremely fluent Korean, English and Mandarin and works as a translator when he isn't playing his professional games. He is also the translator for this event and is thus, like Kurata- san, dressed in a black suit and tie. Hikaru opted to wear dark blue, Yashiro to wear beige, and I to wear dark green. A representative of the organizers comes to inform us that the opening ceremony is beginning and that we should head to the ballroom immediately just as we all finish eating. We stand and enter with some others as the Korean MC gets up on stage and Tatsura rushes up to her side. She introduces herself as Lee Hong-ju and I resign myself to listening to a long run of speeches. We are ushered over to where the rest of the teams are and I watch my lover tense up at the very sight of Ko Young-ha in his cream-coloured suit. Dressed in black like last year, Su-yon hurries over to greet Hikaru.
"Konnichiwa," he says with a smile.
"Anyong hase yo," he replies with a wink. Then suddenly, he feigns surprise. "Oh my God! Your Japanese is comprehensible!"
"Shut up, Shindou. It's not like your Korean pronunciation's great."
"Yeah, we all know mine's much better," I slip in softly, leaning closer to his ear.
He leans away to Look at me. "Oi, Touya. Whose side are you on?"
We both agreed to go on calling each other by our last names. No sense broadcasting our relationship to the world anyway. "Japan's, Shindou, definitely Japan's," I reply smoothly as Su-yon dissolves into laughter.
"Shindou Hikaru," Ko Young-ha greets as he comes over and slips an arm around Su-yon's waist. The younger Korean blushes slightly but neither moves nor comments.
Unwilling to be outdone, Hikaru slips an arm around my waist. "Ko Young- ha," he acknowledges.
Young-ha raises an eyebrow and smirks, but doesn't comment on the gesture. "I hear that you're the Honinbou now, Shindou," he says instead in Korean.
Our Korean isn't fantastic, but enough to understand what he says. Hikaru decides to be a jerk and refuses to reply in Korean. "Certainly and I am going to kick your natural jerk ass this year," he declares. Okay, so I don't think he knows how to say 'jerk' in Korean anyway.
Su-yon translates for his older teammate and Young-ha merely languidly offers a fluid roll of his shoulders in reply. "You said the same thing last year," he replies with a lazy smirk; neither was deliberately meant as an insult, but such was Young-ha's personality. Thus, Hikaru refers to him as a 'natural' jerk. He didn't become a jerk; he always was one. Su-yon translates for my lover.
"Well, I certainly mean it this year and I am going to kick your ass double hard for saying all those things about Shuusaku. Besides, no one is beating me in anything except the title match." I say silent thanks that Su-yon and I will be giving the speech on stage later although I still have my misgivings over Kurata-san's ability to say anything polite with An Ten-son in the room. Well, at least Yang Hai-san will be there to wrest the mike away from him in case he starts saying anything embarrassing and I guess Tatsura can just not translate.
Su-yon translates my teammate's words and Young-ha raises an eyebrow condescendingly. "You think so? Well, we'll see about that."
I decide to give Su-yon a hand and translate for Hikaru; I have been taking Korean classes much longer than he has anyway and he only knows enough to get around. He doesn't speak much conversational Korean per se and I'd be ashamed not to after more than a year of twice a week classes.
Hikaru is about to say something smug in reply when we are all distracted by some commotion up on stage. I bury my face in my hands as a repeat of last year's events happens where Yang Hai-san has to wrest the microphone away from Kurata-san before he can insult his Korean counterpart. Tatsura wisely keeps his mouth shut and does not translate whatever part of the affront Kurata-san had managed to get out. Then the MC calls for a speech by the team representatives and we walk up to the stage together. It seems that this year, all the second board players will be making the speech. We all say some very polite but meaningless rubbish and then the lots are drawn for the order of matches. One match will be played today and two tomorrow. The line-up turned out as follows:
1st match: China-Korea 2nd match: Japan-Korea 3rd match: China-Japan
We have one hour before the match between both our opponents begins and we decide that we are definitely watching the games. We move through the throng of people to the refreshments table to get ourselves a drink when suddenly, a familiar voice speaks from behind.
"My, my; what a small world."
All three of us spin around abruptly. Silence. Blink. Twice.
"Aunt Kasumi!" Yashiro exclaims happily and steps forward to give the High Priestess of Inari a hug.
She returns it calmly, but no less affectionately. "It would seem that some congratulations are in order," she tells us with a smile.
I resolutely fight down the blush I feel rising in my cheeks. Hikaru does not seem bothered.
"Thank you, Kasumi-sama" he replies graciously, with a slight bow.
"You've met?" Yashiro asks incredulously.
"Yes, but we had no idea she was your aunt," I answer.
"Well, step-aunt actually, but the best one I have. The one and only family member I have that approves of my playing Go professionally," Yashiro declares with evident pride and joy. He is grateful for even the tiniest bit of family support seeing as he doesn't have any. I am happy for him; I truly am. He is a strong player and it is a pity that his family doesn't approve of his profession.
"Kasumi-sama," greets a voice reverently from behind. Kuro Tatsura is on one knee even! Truly, she must be held in extremely high esteem.
"Rise, Tatsura-kun; it is not a proper time for such gestures."
He stands. I feel many pairs of eyes on us. Then she looks around at the crowd and it is only then that I realize the strength of her presence as all bow, incline their heads, or at least lower their gazes. There is a long moment of respectful and reverent silence.
"Blessings be upon you. My Mistress Who Gives Life rewards those who show reverence," she says softly in her musical alto, her power evident and the very words hanging in the air. "Let all who worship be at peace."
Those who know what should be said in response say so and those who don't simply bow some more, then business resumes as usual in the room. I infer that her words were heard in whatever language the listeners understood since most of the people in the room do not speak Japanese.
"I had no idea you were here, Aunt Kasumi. Will you be staying to watch the matches?" Yashiro asks hopefully.
"Nay, Yashiro. I must return soon. There is an energy imbalance in Japan that requires rectification and as such, my presence is required there. Darkness lingers at the borders of long-standing barriers and the balance of energies that holds the barriers is off. The barriers weaken; if something is not done and soon, bad things will begin to happen. I am here because there is a spiritual matter here that warrants my attention and then, I thought I'd drop by to see you while I was around."
"Oh well, I don't understand a word of what you mean, but it is too bad. I wish you could see me win."
"Do your best, Yashiro. The grace of the Gods is with all of you."
"Aunt Kasumi, you have the gift of foresight; tell me, what do you see?" Yashiro enquires quietly.
"That is not for you to know, my child. Do your best; the future is not yet set in stone."
"But..."
"Yashiro," Tatsura interrupts suddenly, a hint of warning in his voice.
"Very well," he accepts disconsolately.
"I wish you both happiness and all of you good fortune," she tells Hikaru and I. For some reason, when her eyes fall on me, they are somewhat troubled. "Now, I must be going."
We all bow slightly and she turns and sweeps out of the room. For a long time, there is silence between us.
Suddenly, Hikaru says brightly, "Well, she said that we could shape the future. That means that there is great hope, don't you think?"
I smile at him. "Aa," I agree. "There is much hope and we will win this year."
Yashiro nods determinedly and Tatsura simply smiles and slips an arm around Yashiro's waist in response. But still I wonder what it was she saw about me that bothered her.
* * *
"I told my mom about us, Aki."
I turn to look at my lover, water cascading down our bodies as I stand with him in the shower. "Well?"
"Well what?" he asks innocently, his soap-slick hands roaming seemingly aimlessly over my body.
"Well, what did she say?" I clarify.
"Well, let's just say she wasn't surprised. She was rather dismayed, though, at the prospect of never having grandchildren."
"Sounds like my mother," I remark.
"Well, yeah, they're mothers," he informs me as if it should be awfully obvious. "I told her we'd adopt someday."
I raise an eyebrow as his hands wander ever lower. "Really. I don't recall you asking if I was interested."
"Well, are you?" he asks, moving closer to kiss me on my neck.
"Hm... Could I ever refuse you anything when you're doing this?"
"That was the whole idea, koi." He moves his mouth to suck on my nipple instead and I let my hands slide down his body.
"Hm... I guess I uh... don't really want to... say no then," I murmur as he continues to arouse me.
"Thought so."
"Mm... Let's get out of the water now," I suggest, reaching around to turn off the tap.
"Let's just do it right here," he counters before I can reach it.
"Right here?" I echo, pausing.
"Uh-huh. I don't like wet sheets and I don't like waiting and I think you like it even less."
"Um... Can I be on top tonight?" I ask tentatively.
He looks up at me for a really long time and I am about to dismiss the suggestion when he grins widely suddenly. "Ooh, Aki-chan... Didn't know you had that in you..." he drawls seductively as he presses up against me.
I smirk and lean in to kiss him. I realize suddenly that I know very little about this and I hesitate. He senses my hesitation and pulls back slightly.
"You _are_ my first too, you know," he informs me.
"I am?" How did he ever learn so much?
"Of course you are, 'Kira. What, you thought I slept around or something?"
"No! But you seem to know so much and I... well... Where _did_ you learn how to?"
He grins like the cat that ate the canary and doesn't answer.
"Hikaru..." I whine at him. Never thought I'd ever see the day when I'd find myself whining, but hey, life's about discoveries, right?
"'Kira..." he mimics mischievously.
"Oh, so now it's 'Kira?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Aki... 'Kira... koi... whatever. You're you and you're mine," he declares, gesturing vaguely. The warm water is very therapeutic and very, very sexy running down his body.
"Un. And mine," I tell him possessively, pressing closer.
"You?"
"No, you. And you still haven't told me where you learnt all this stuff."
"Manga," he replies matter-of-factly.
"You can't be serious."
"I am," he tells me. "Very serious. Very, very, very serious." He nods sagely as if agreeing with himself.
"I don't want to know," I decide.
"Oh, so now you don't want to know. Just when I was about to let you in on some great voyeuristic material."
"Hikaru?"
"Yes, koi?"
I press him down to the base of the bathtub by his shoulders. "Just shut up."
* * *
Hikaru is up before me today. I yawn and stretch sleepily; he looks up from the book of Shuusaku's kifu that he is reading while opening and closing his fan to smile at me. It must the whole idea of playing Young-ha today that has him all psyched up. From what we saw yesterday during the China- Korea game, our opponents have grown as well. Korea won 2-1. I drag myself up to cross over to where he is sitting. I haven't got any clothes on after what we did last night and he resolutely looks away. He is fully dressed and ready to go down for lunch and the matches today. I know that he isn't in the mood today, so I pull on a viridian kimono that I left draped over a chair yesterday and finish tying the sash before coming to place my hands tentatively on tense shoulders. He relaxes somewhat almost instantly at my touch and reaches up to lay his hand over mine after dropping the fan on his lap.
"Does it have a special significance? The fan, I mean," I enquire of him quietly.
"Sai," he answers easily. "He gave me a similar one in a dream."
"Aa." There are no more mysteries, no more secrets... I still love him so damn much.
"He was smiling, 'Kira..." he whispered. "I miss him."
I remain silent as I begin massaging his shoulders.
"I have to win today. As long as I'm alive, I won't let anyone look down on Sai. He exists in my Go, so I have to win."
"I know, Hikaru, I know," I tell him. I'll win too... for you, for me... for us.
"I want him to continue smiling."
"He left on May the 5th?" I guess. I remember that he went to the Shuusaku memorial crying last year, the night he lost the last match of the first Hokuto Cup to Ko Young-ha. I went with him that night because... because I loved him even then, although I didn't realize it that time. We stayed there the whole night. I bought drinks and for a long time we just sat in silence. He didn't tell me why he was there and after knowing him for so long, I learned not to ask. I still remember that night so vividly in my mind. It was three in the morning and we were finally leaving the memorial. We stood at a taxi stand, waiting for a cab to show up when he just suddenly turned to me and said, "Thanks." I asked him what he was thanking me for and he replied, "For coming. I... It was nice, not being here alone." And I think that's when we actually started to become friends instead of just rivals. We still weren't close or friendly and knowing about Sai was still my first priority, but for once it wasn't just solely about Go. He went again with flowers on the last 5th of May, then again after becoming a Honinbou.
"Yeah, I miss him a lot, Aki. He understood me, I guess, since he could hear my thoughts and all. At times, I feel lonely without him hanging around me whining like a puppy for me to play Go with him."
I pause, then come around and lean over to brush my lips gently against his. I look into his eyes almost in desperation. "But you have me now," I say, searching his eyes.
"Yes, 'Kira, I do." He smiles softly, the most beautiful of smiles.
I find what I am looking for and suddenly, I feel my love for him overflowing in my heart and my chest feels like it's going to burst. I don't know why, but whenever I feel any particular emotion, I tend to feel it in extremes. Perhaps it's because I'm usually so indifferent to everything and I don't express myself much, so when I do, it tends to come out in a rush all at once.
"I love you, Aki. Don't ever doubt that."
I don't ever want to have to. I love you too damn much. Now that I know what I'm missing, I don't think I can live without you in my life, Hikaru. I hold his gaze with my own and try to convey everything I'm feeling with my eyes; these feelings, they're too powerful, too strong. I could never put them into words; they wouldn't be same. "I love you too. I don't doubt it, Hikaru, don't ever let me," I tell him simply.
He closes the book and puts it with the fan on the table before pulling me close. I'm on my knees with my head resting against his chest. His arms are wrapped around me and it's very warm. I want to stay this way forever, with my arms around his waist in this wonderful silence. I know he does too. I know he understands. Above all, I know how much he loves me and that is all I really need. We remain that way for a really long time and then suddenly, I notice something amusing and begin chuckling.
"What?" he asks, the atmosphere switching suddenly.
"No, just that you're switching pet names around so often! 'Kira, Aki, 'Kira, Aki, Aki 'Kira..."
"It's still you and you're still mine," he points out.
I smile at that. "Un. Yours always," I tell him and settle back in comfortably.
~Hikaru~
Team Korea is already there by the time we all come down for lunch. Ko Young-ha smirks at the sight of us; cocky bastard must think he's already beaten me even before the game begins. I'm going to wipe that smug look off his natural jerk face permanently. I sit down next to my lover and order a samgyetang (ginseng chicken soup) for lunch. Korean food isn't bad, though I still like home's ramen better. Besides, the Koreans don't make Japanese food very well, and Su-yon would probably agree that the Japanese don't make good Korean food either. Thus, it would generally be advisable to eat local. Of course, being a 5-star hotel would mean that the international cuisine isn't bad, but it still wouldn't beat home. Next to me, Aki orders the same while Yashiro and Tatsura opposite decide to share a bulgogi. I casually slip an arm around Aki's waist and he sidles closer. I resist the urge to kiss him or touch him where I know it will make him whimper in passion. Whenever he does that and his lips tremble slightly, I think that I've never seen anything sexier. To think that he thought we'd only do it once; I think I'm going to spend the next few nights making mad passionate love to him, my beautiful Aki. I quickly squish the thoughts before they can torment me as Su-yon comes over from the Korean side. Yashiro and Tatsura quickly take the excuse to sit closer to each other by making space for him on their side of the table. I roll my eyes at them; as if the joined sofa-like seats at our table weren't already conducive enough.
"Hey, Shindou, uh..." he begins, a little nervously in Japanese as he sits down.
"Yeah?"
"You know, about last year..."
"Yeah?" I coax again.
"I'm sick and tired of all this stupidity. I'm here to clear things up," he says, frustrated.
"What's there to clear up?" It was pretty clear that everything I had been told was true. The 'natural' jerk said so himself.
"Well, it's kind of complicated. Tatsura-san, can you translate for me? I think I can say everything in Japanese but I don't want to accidentally cause anymore misunderstandings."
Tatsura nods and Su-yon starts rattling off in Korean. "Well, the first time was a total misunderstanding. Young-ha didn't say anything bad about Shuusaku. His words were just completely mistranslated. What he really said was that Japan was weak because people study Shuusaku and others of the past without understanding the essence of their play. Then, he said that if Japan is weak, then great players of the past like Shuusaku will be forgotten and that would be unfortunate. It was just a complete mistranslation."
Okay, I'm still sceptical. "Well, what about the second time then? And you didn't say anything before or after the whole thing so..."
"The second time, he said that on purpose."
"Whatever the hell for?"
At this point, Su-yon switches back to Japanese. "Because he's stupid like that sometimes!!" he replies, looking ready to tear out his hair in frustration.
"Really. I thought he was stupid like that all the time," I remark dryly.
My Korean friend wisely decides to ignore me and reverts back to his first language. "He wanted you to play your best against him, I guess. He sort of guessed you would insist on being first board just to play him, what with you being so angry over the whole thing and all, I guess, so he decided to stir things up further. He didn't really mean a word of all the horrid things he said about Shuusaku. He studies Shuusaku's games himself," Tatsura translates for me.
"What, he thought I needed help playing my best for my team and country? I have plenty of motivation and inspiration without his help, thank you very much."
"I don't know. The point is he didn't really mean anything bad about Shuusaku. As for why I didn't explain sooner, it's because he wouldn't let me."
"So why are you explaining now? Did he tell you to?"
"No. In fact, he'd generally kill me if he found out that I told you before the game."
"So why are you telling me all this now?"
"Because he's being an immature idiot and I don't like that!! I'm sick and tired of his idiocy!!" he grates out angrily in Japanese. All of a sudden, he looks really exhausted. "Besides, I don't want people to think that the Young-ha that I love and admire is that kind of person..." he continues in a soft, tired voice.
I reach out and squeeze his hand with a grin. "Hey, don't worry. I'll still play my best. After all the trouble he went to, I guess it'd be bad to disappoint him, huh? Besides, I have plenty of other reasons to want to beat him flat." I tighten the arm around my lover briefly. "He is still a jerk, I still want to win, and I'll be damned if I let anyone beat the Honinbou in anything but the title match. As for the title match, I intend to be keeping this title for a long time to come," I declare smugly before turning to Aki. "And you, koi, if I don't win the Meijin title soon, you'd better win it," I tell him firmly.
He rolls his eyes. "What, you think I need to be told? I have plenty of motivation and inspiration without your help, thank you very much."
Trust the sweet jerk to throw my own words back at me the first chance he gets. I poke him in the ribs and he jumps slightly, only to glare balefully at me. I look at the steaming bowl of soup in front of me and suddenly decide that I'm very hungry. I pick up my chopsticks and spoon and grin. "Well, now that everything's cleared up... Itadakimasu!" I say cheerfully and dig in.
Aki and Su-yon just simultaneously shake their heads.
* * *
I nigiri silently where I sit opposite Ko Young-ha. He takes out a handful of stones and I place two down. Even. I win. Black. Aki's white and Yashiro's black. I will not allow a repeat of last year's defeat, I decide resolutely as I place my first stone on my upper left komoku as the buzzer sounds for us to begin the game and tap the match clock. I wonder if he already knows that Su-yon explained everything. In any case, I don't hate him anymore but I still don't like that cocksure jerk in front of me either. He responds to my move and taps his. The game progresses in silence. Ten minutes later, the fight has begun and I'm pondering my next move. If I attack the centre, he might be able to 'cut my head off' as Sai used to say, but if I manage to live, I would have already won the game. How about if I reinforce the left side and try to gain territory on the lower left corner? No, not quite enough and he won't make it easy. Perhaps I could try to trap him on the upper right? He's not quite thick there yet. But the centre... Some of white's stones are in pretty bad shapes down there... If I could exploit that... Suddenly, I catch sight of a rather inconspicuous intersection. I perpend the idea for a moment, reading ahead as far as I can. If I play there... If I carry on correctly and he plays where I expect him to... I might be able to separate white's stones on either side from each other and kill a fair number of stones. The vital point is how he plays the very next move; if he doesn't play the next move correctly, then the group I am going to make will definitely live and cause him no end of problems. Those stones... I want to tear them apart. I decide that I have only one stone to lose if he does see through the move in any case and I can always abandon the plan anyway. I place my stone on said intersection and tap my match clock, waiting in hopeful anticipation. I grip my fan tightly and watch anxiously as he reaches for a stone and his hand moves to the board. His two fingers hover with the stone above the board for a few painfully long moments before landing on an intersection not too faraway. I hide a smile of victory and relief. He's wrong. I place my next stone and tap my match clock. The end is in sight. This time, Ko Young-ha, I win.
~Akira~
I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. I will not lose to... Oh, sod that. I won't lose to anybody. Well, it's not like I haven't already lost to Hikaru. But Hikaru's going to win this year, so I can't lose either. Losing is NOT an option. So I will not lose to Hon Su-yon. Also, this might be my last Hokuto Cup. I was looking forward to playing next year as well, but now... If I'm going to leave the Go world, then I will leave it in pride and victory. If I have to die, I will die in happiness and love. Hikaru will kiss me and smile for me till the very last moment. I will not let anyone take that away from me. They don't have the right. So I'll never lose. Not to Hon Su-yon, not to any opponent I will ever face. With that unyielding conviction, I place every single white stone on the board before me. With that unwavering certainty, I fight every battle to the very end. With that steadfast determination, I strive to claim every last moku on that polished wood-grained surface. I will never admit defeat till it is shoved in my face with a bludgeon wearing a nametag. I'll win this game for you, Hikaru. For me... For us. Because I love you. Because I love Go. Because I love life. Because I love us. So I won't let go. I won't give up till the bitter end. I won't let you down, Hikaru. So win, Hikaru, and step forward. No matter where we go, I'll always be with you. Our journey will never end. There is no end. We'll traverse this road together, climb every mountain, and cross every valley. Because no matter how far apart we go, our hearts will always stay together. That is our strength, the strength of our bond, of our love. And I have faith in that. I have faith in us. So I will hold on to that faith. As long as you are with me, I can overcome anything. *You* are my Hand of God, Hikaru, my one perfect move, the best and most perfect game I will ever play. And I love you, Hikaru. And I love you.
* * *
I stare at the finished game before me and hide a smile before slipping into the almost automatic movements of Seichi. I have won, I believe, by 2.5 moku. Su-yon looks distressed at the idea of losing. I meticulously move the stones into as perfect squares as I can make them; that is to say, very perfect indeed. I count my opponent's territory and reach the verdict the exact same time as the announcer. Yup, 2.5 moku. Su-yon looks dismayed. I thank him for the game and stand. I resolutely resist the urge to cross right over to my lover's table and go to look at Yashiro's game instead. He's losing. Quite a big difference too. I sigh mentally. Yashiro's a great player and all, yes, but he lacks Iruf-han's ruthlessness on the Goban. I had a great game with Su-yon, but I feel that I'm better suited against Iruf-han than Yashiro is. Perhaps I should have requested to be third board. Finally, I quietly pad over to where Hikaru still plays against Young-ha. It is yose. Hikaru's stones! That group in the middle of the board! How did that get there?! With black's large living group in the middle of the board, white has been efficiently separated. I watch as the older Korean wipes his hands with the towel provided; his hands are probably sweating now. I cannot see how the game was played. I look up and catch sight of the same stunned and confused look on Su-yon's face. I vow to have Hikaru replay the game for me. I want to know how he did that. That's why you're my eternal rival, Hikaru, that's why it had to be you. Kurata-san and An Ten-son come running in from the discussion room. The game is close despite the feat Hikaru has managed in the centre; Young-ha is a strong player and he has succeeded in catching up a great deal. The two players place their last stones with a resounding pachi and anxiously begin Seichi. The tension hangs thickly in the air as the two players move the stones with practiced efficiency. My father comes up from behind me and I turn to respectfully lower my head and embrace him. I give my mother a hug as well before turning back to the board. I heard that my father dropped by last year, but refrained from coming to see me. Perhaps both my parents are here watching this year because we have very little time left together. My father has even been reducing his travels in favour of being with me. I feel so blessed, really, to have all these wonderful people who care about me. I almost wish I learned to treasure all this earlier, especially Hikaru. Yashiro has finished his game and is now standing next to me with Tatsura. He lost by a full 6.5 moku. I still think he is ill suited against Iruf- han. The Korean's aggressive fighting and ruthless pursuit of victory is more reminiscent of my style. I look back at the board as the last squares are formed. Win this, Hikaru!! I grip the back of his chair so tightly that my knuckles turn white as Hikaru and Young-ha begin counting. Black 100 to white 92. With the komi, Hikaru wins by 1.5 moku! I feel tears of joy gather in my eyes as the win is officially announced. Hikaru slowly stands and I throw my arms around him, not caring if the whole world found out that we were gay and hopelessly in love. I bury my face in his shoulder and shed a few tears of joy. We won against Korea! Right now, I feel like I can do anything. We'll definitely beat China as well.
My lover wraps his arms gently around me and murmurs softly in my ear. "Need I ask?"
I giggle in spite of myself. "No," I answer, raising my head to look up at him from under long eyelashes.
Hikaru looks up at Ko Young-ha as the 2-1 win is announced. My cocky brat smirks arrogantly. "Beat you this time," he tells his Korean opponent smugly.
The other merely offers a fluid roll of his shoulders in response. "Pity it's my last year. I would have crushed you next time," he replies smoothly.
Off to one side, I see Su-yon smack his forehead in exasperation as Tatsura translates for us.
"Oh yeah?!" Hikaru challenges, rising to the bait instantly. "Su-yon! We're doing it again this year, right? I'm staying on a few days!"
Su-yon sighs expressively. "Yes. Yes, we are. I'll give you an address later."
My lover turns back to Young-ha. "Wanna bet you can beat me?! You come along and we'll see who crushes who!"
Tatsura translates and the older Korean just shrugs languidly. "I'll see if I have nothing better to do."
"YOUNG-HA!!! Stop being an immature jerk!!" Su-yon screeches suddenly.
Everyone within earshot stops. Stares. Blinks. Quite a number of times, in fact. Even Young-ha is taken aback. Su-yon said that here at that volume in Korean. Tatsura translates both lines for Hikaru and Yashiro and my teammates have to keep from laughing despite the shock. Hell, even Kurata- san is astonished into silence. I look from Su-yon to Young-ha and back. Both Iruf-han and An Ten-son look like they each swallowed a fish and it moved.
"I can't stand it when you're being like this!!" Su-yon continues, only slightly softer than the last.
"How can you stand him at all? He's always like this," Hikaru remarks dryly.
I nudge my lover meaningfully and Su-yon either wisely decides to pretend not to hear or is too busy being furious at his lover to notice. People begin to get back to whatever it was they were doing before his initial outburst, deciding that the quarrel was absolutely none of their business, being off the Goban and all.
Suddenly, Su-yon looks positively exhausted. I almost pity him. "Look, I don't care anymore alright? I just don't care anymore! Be that way! From now on, I'll just mind my own business!!" he throws over his sagging shoulders as he walks tiredly away.
"Su-yon..." Young-ha begins.
"I'm not talking to you!!" the other calls back angrily without even turning before he disappears out of the ballroom.
Young-ha turns to look first back at us, then at the ballroom entrance, probably debating whether or not to follow his lover. Finally, he decides that pride isn't quite worth it and turns to walk briskly out after Su-yon.
* * *
"Hikaru."
My lover turns to face me, face a mask of determination. He nods. "Let's go."
I turn the doorknob and exit our room, leading the way down the corridor. Yashiro is waiting with Tatsura a little way away and they join us as we walk towards the elevators. We enter the elevator and push the appropriate button. The tension is thick in the air. Last year, we were dead last. It won't happen again. This year, we want to be first. There was a three-hour break between the matches. We spent some time taking turns playing ten- second-per-hand speed Go in Yashiro and Tatsura's room before retiring to take a break in our own rooms. Apparently, while being Ochi's level normally, Tatsura can actually beat Yashiro at speed Go. His intuition is better than his strategising. I find it interesting that he can actually play better when he doesn't think. It's almost amusing. The ding of the elevator snaps my train of thought. We walk out, tenacity in our every step, this time with Hikaru leading the way. We enter the ballroom together and Tatsura then takes his leave to run up to where the MC and the organizers are. I spot Young-ha and Iruf-han off to one side, but Su-yon is nowhere to be seen. He's probably on strike in the room, still mad at Young-ha. Hikaru slips an arm around my waist, his other hand holding his fan. I inch closer to his side. The people who notice don't comment while Yashiro just looks absently off to where Tatsura is standing, lost in conversation with the organizers. Suddenly, someone taps me on the shoulder and Hikaru turns with me.
"Su-yon," I acknowledge.
"Shh..." the black-haired boy silences me, spying over my shoulder to where Young-ha and Iruf-han are. "Phew... They haven't noticed," he says with relief.
"Even Iruf-han?" Hikaru questions curiously.
"Iruf-han's on Young-ha's side. He came to talk to me just now and he just went on and on about how I should just give Young-ha a break, so I chased him out saying that Young-ha should give me a break," Su-yon replies, arms crossed over his chest in obvious annoyance. "He just doesn't understand. Anyway, it doesn't matter."
"Right. I thought you would have locked yourself up in the room, double- bolted and latched the door so that Young-ha couldn't use his card-key, and positively refused to come out or see anyone," I tell him.
He smiles ruefully. "That's what I did."
"So why are you here now? What made you decide to come out?" my lover asks.
"My love for Go," the young Korean replies with a sheepish grin. "I wanted to watch the Japan-China match. Good luck, guys; I hope you win."
"What about Young-ha?" Hikaru enquires.
"What about him?"
"Are you going to reconcile with that 'natural' jerk anytime soon?"
At that, Su-yon sighs heavily. "I don't think so." He looks off absently in Young-ha's direction. "I'm exhausted; I really am. I think we need some time off from each other. I can't stand it anymore." He slides his eyes shut wearily.
"It isn't just the whole business with Shuusaku and me, right?"
Our friend looks up in mild surprise.
I smile to myself. Hikaru can be rather perceptive at times. At other times... he's just dense.
"No, it's a lot more than that. We've been having some problems lately." Su- yon massages his temples tiredly. "Our parents found out and stuff. His parents don't care either way, maybe because he's the third of four sons... I don't know. They also most probably support his playing Go professionally because he is now financially independent. But my parents don't quite approve of the relationship. They don't mind me playing Go for a living but I'm the only son and well, they want the lineage continued and stuff like that. He knows and he's just adopting this lackadaisical attitude about everything, changing the subject when I bring it up and all. It's like I shouldn't care about everything else and that's just not possible. I don't know how he can expect me not to care when it's all about the people I care about and even if he couldn't help, he could at least be supportive, which he isn't. He's the reason I'm going through all of this shit anyway."
Hikaru and I exchange glances. We didn't know it was that bad. I suddenly feel a newfound respect for them, especially Su-yon, for being able to concentrate and play such strong Go despite the weight of so many problems on his mind.
"These days it's like it's just all about Go and sex between us," the black- haired boy continues. "Not that I mind either for what it's worth; it's never unpleasant, but it's just that the closer and more intimate we get physically, the further away I feel from him emotionally and I... I just can't take much more of this," he finishes miserably.
Hikaru releases me and steps forward to give the young Korean a hug. He doesn't resist, instead wearily dropping his head on to my lover's shoulder. I feel a pang of jealousy grip my heart and resolutely fight it down. But then, Hikaru meets my gaze as he pats a trembling Su-yon comfortingly on the back and it just disappears entirely. There is only sympathy and kind understanding in his eyes. It is nothing like the way he looks at me. I remember this morning and I understand. I am just being silly with my possessive jealousy. I know best that he doesn't feel about anyone else the way he feels for me. I smile softly at him and he returns the gesture before releasing the other boy. I notice a little moisture on my lover's shoulder as Su-yon rubs his eyes. He cried. I sigh. It must be really hard on him.
"Sorry," he mumbles with a crooked smile.
"Nah... No sweat. It'll dry. Don't worry about it," Hikaru replies reassuringly with a sunny smile.
Su-yon smiles gratefully. "Thanks." He sighs. "Young-ha knows. I've told him before that I hate it when he's being an immature jerk and he just keeps doing that. Just now was like the last straw for me with everything else and all, you know."
I nod understandingly.
Hikaru chuckles. "You know, Su-yon, I actually think you're going to have to let him off the hook for that."
We both raise an eyebrow. Shindou Hikaru? Putting in good words for Ko Young-ha? This must be an impostor. Either that, or he's finally lost it. And I quote a book I read once: Miso beans have finally turned to paste.
My lover laughs some more. "You see, I don't think he means to be a jerk. He can't help it; it's in his genes or something. He's a 'natural' jerk. See, he didn't become one; he always was one." He dissolves into near- hysterical laughter.
Su-yon just offers him a withering look in response.
I decide to chance a question. "You still love him then?"
Hikaru Looks at me like it should be obvious, but there is something I want to know. I meet the Korean's gaze searchingly.
He doesn't even falter, either in gaze of in voice as he answers me. "Of course I do. I always have and I always will," he tells me, eyes bright. "There never was another for me and I doubt there ever will be. It's just..." He sighs. "I just don't know anymore... I just don't know."
I find what I am looking for in his eyes. It is the same, really, a reflection of how I feel about Hikaru. It isn't just the words; the look in his deep black eyes when he said that was exactly the same one I had when I was in Hikaru's arms this morning. And I understand. I reach out and squeeze his arm comfortingly. "I know what you mean, Su-yon. I know what you mean," I tell him softly. If Hikaru one day stopped caring about me, I know I would be just as lost. I pray that never happens. And then I turn to look Hikaru in the eyes and I realize with amazing conviction that it will never happen. I smile at him again and he smiles back. I really don't want to die. I've got so much to lose now, too much, and I don't want to let him go. Hikaru...
"Aki, quit giving everyone that Touya-stare of yours," he tells me, exasperated. We decided to drop the pretences, since after yesterday and today's display, everyone likely already knew.
"What Touya-stare?" I ask, raising my voice slightly.
"You know, the one that looks like this." He launches into an extremely over exaggerated imitation of my supposed expression and I'm not sure if I should be livid or amused.
I feel my eye twitch as fury takes over. "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT."
"Yes, you do. And you've been doing that to –like- everyone lately," he ripostes.
"I do not!!"
"Do to!!" He sticks his tongue out at me in a startling display of immaturity.
"DO NOT!!"
"DO TO!!!"
"DO NOT! DO NOT!! DO NOT!!!" I yell at about a hundred and seventy decibels.
"DO TO!! DO TO!! DO TO!!!" Hikaru shouts back at about the same volume. Right about now, nearly everyone in the ballroom is staring at us.
I note the amused look on Su-yon's face as he leans in to ask Yashiro, "Uh... Are these two for real?"
"Trust me, you haven't seen the worst of it. And yes, it's for real. They do this all the time," the Kansai boy replies, already blasé with regards to our rather volatile interactions.
"Excuse me, but will Team Japan and Team China please come forward now. The match is about to begin," Tatsura translates smoothly for the MC.
Hikaru and I stop short in the middle of our argument. We exchange glances with Yashiro. Su-yon wishes us a final 'good luck' and we turn together and make our way to the front, all quarrels forgotten. Today, we end this battle and we will emerge the victors.
A/N: Kuro Tatsura is an original character. He practices reiki and stuff
like that, so he really holds High Priestess Kasumi in very high esteem.
In case you're wondering about her reappearance, Toukou Kasumi is the
most important OC in this fic and she has one more crucial part to play,
so I'm trying to develop her a little bit more. Tatsura will be sticking
around for a while more too, so I hope you like both of them. Thank you
all for being so patient! I loved receiving all your reviews; they're
what really makes all the effort of writing worthwhile. May I request
more? ^.^
