Oh my God...my head is absolutely killing me. It's way too bright in this room - I'll just keep my eyes closed for now I think. Wait, why is Scully sleeping in my bed? ...and why do I have practically no clothes on? Okay...this is weird. I can't remember how I got here and surely I would remember sleeping with Scully. Wow, all this thinking is really not doing much for my head...my head! Aha, I got drunk last night - and Scully had to pick me up. ...God I licked her neck in the car. Oops.

Why the hell did I get so drunk...I don't remember much of anything. Ouch, my hand - what the hell happened to my hand? ...Ah, fist through wall - now I remember. God I'm going to have to buy a new computer, aren't I? ...Why the hell did I...Scully, Scully's in love. Damn! I wish I hadn't remembered! ...Why is she still in my bed then - surely she would have got up. Don't complain, Mulder - just accept that she's here and enjoy it. Ohhh, wriggling - not good Scully, you'd better stop soon. Thank God she's stopped moving - bare skin against my chest. Wow!

Okay, I know I should really move my hand but - well it was her wriggling that made it end up here. Her skin is so soft...I really hope she thinks I'm still asleep...or not. Oh my God, if I just reach up slightly I could touch her...was that a moan I heard? Let's try it again and see...yes, definitely a moan.

ring ring

Damn, Scully's leaving. I thought she was going back to sleep for a moment there and I could hold her for a while longer...she feels so good in my arms. I wish we could stay like this forever...maybe if I just hold her tighter she won't leave...no, she's going - Damn phone!

ring ring

I wonder who it is...I'm gonna kill whoever is on the other end of the phone. ...God, that reminds me of a strange dream I had last night. I dreamt I was talking to Skiner about Scully, telling him that she was in love with him and everything. God! I really hope she isn't in love with him - or anyone for that matter. I know I won't be able to stand it. ...Mmmm, her pillow smells so good - 'her' pillow, stupid, it's my pillow. She was just using it. ...still smells great though. God I could live on this - but I guess I'll just have to settle for burying my head in the pillow. ...It'll be the last time I ever have this chance. Ahhhh...

"Mulder...Mulder..."

"Don't talk so loud Scully, my head hurts. What is it?"

"Skinner's on the phone."

That's right - we were supposed to be in a meeting this morning. Man is he going to be pissed off...I really don't want to have to deal with this right now. My head is way too sore to cope with him yelling at me. I suppose I have to though.

"Shit...the meeting. Okay, give it here."

"It's not about the meeting Mulder...he said you phoned him last night when you were drunk. He doesn't sound too pleased about that."

Groan

Oh crap - that means I didn't just dream it. I actually phoned him.

"Ummm...Assistant Director, hi."

"Agent Mulder. I hope I'm not disturbing you. Wait, scratch that, I hope I AM disturbing you. You deserve it after this morning's phone call."

"Yes sir, I guess I do. I'm really sorry about that, I had too much to drink and I didn't know what I was saying."

"That makes two of us - for the most part. I did get some of it though, mostly all the insults you hurled at me."

"Ummm..."

"Mulder I'm not finished."

"Sorry sir. ...Does that mean you remember more of the conversation."

"Yes Mulder. Yes it does. Quite frankly, I do not appreciate being reprimanded by one of by subordinates for, I think you used the term 'screwing', another one of my subordinates. I also do not think it appropriate for you then to go on to tell me in graphic detail what you think we may or may not be doing at that precise moment in time."

"God, I didn't really say all that did I?"

"YES! Mulder, you did!"

"I really didn't mean to - as I said before, I'd had rather a lot to drink."

"That is no excuse Mulder - telling me that Agent Scully was in love with me is not an acceptable thing to do. Drunk or not!"

"I'm sorry sir - just a bit of miscommunication."

"Miscommunication!? What the hell were you trying to say?"

"Ummm..."

"I thought so Mulder. I would appreciate it if you would leave your cell behind the next time you decide to go out and get plastered. That way you would avoid the embarrassment of both yourself and Agent Scully. How on earth do you expect me to be able to talk to her as a professional work colleague when you've put those types of images in my head? Telling me that her 'butt was nice and tight' - really Mulder, what were you thinking?"

"I guess I wasn't thinking sir. I'm sorry."

"This is not over Mulder. Not by a long shot. However I have better things to do with my time other than shout at you all morning. Believe me though when I say that if it ever happens again - I will have your butt in a sling!"

"Yes sir. Sorry."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

Oh crap! Note to self - never drink again!! Scully's butt IS nice and tight though, I could stare at it all day...okay not really the most important thing right now. ...Scully's looking at me funny -damn, she's going to want to know what we talked about. She is going to KILL me!