Title: Divine Damnation
Author: DhampyrX2
Summary: Yet another secret origins of Xander fic that my twisted little brain cooked up.
Timeframe: Post Season 7
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do this for fun. Please don't sue me.
Xander would have been the first to admit to a large dose of trepidation as he made his way back to the Watcher's London manor. Part of that was due to his new responsibilities. A greater part of it had to do with the two newbie Slayers, a pair of Buffy's personal trainees that Andrew referred to as her "Crimson Guard" due to their almost godlike devotion to Buffy and her accomplishments, that were watching him as he exited the restaurant bar. They were certain to have seen him talking to Urd for hours and would report it back to her to berate him with. The greatest weight on hid mind, however, had to do with his demon markings.
He was employing the common spell Demons and Aesir alike used to make people not notice them, but that was only foolproof on those who were unobservant, and had no training in magic whatsoever. In fact, he was fairly sure that in the Manor only Buffy and her freshmen Slayers would not notice them. Buffy because she was ignoring him and expected him to be powerless anyway, and her Slayers because they were trained to follow her lead. Giles, Willow, Dawn, Faith, Andrew, hell even Kennedy, were not so willfully blind to him.
"Man, if Dawn doesn't recognize them from research, Andrew will, if he doesn't Willow will, and if all else fails Giles will know. And even if they don't off hand they'll look it up. I am soooo screwed." Xander grumbled, although he had a small smirk as the skies above him rumbled with thunder. He was always glad Father couldn't reprimand him with a full on lightning bolt for language the way he did the kami. Working for Nifelheim did have advantages when one wanted to express themselves with vulgarity. He suspected Urd only got away with it talking to him because she was quoting Jessica Harris' contract directly. Well, that, and the fact Father was more lenient with her for being half demon, just as their mother, the Dai Makaichou Hild, was indulgent toward him for the sake of his kami half.
Yes, they were certainly a pair, he and Urd. The two half breed children of Hild, and Kami-sama Himself were always in a unique situation. The elder, Urd, was a wild free spirit with a penchant for matchmaking, and for finding trouble (usually both worked hand in hand for the self proclaimed 'Cupid of Love'), while the younger, Alexander, was a virtual White Knight working for his demon lord mother. In fact, he often wondered why his parents didn't switch them, at least temporarily, at some point, despite what he had told his sister earlier. He knew his mother wanted more time with Urd as she grew up, and his Father loved Xander as well. Oh well, I guess they didn't want to confuse us. Besides, Mom needed someone besides Mara she could trust not to double cross her for assignments like this he thought philosophically.
Although, that thought was a cold comfort whenever Xander wanted to spend more time near his half sisters Belldandy and Skuld. His three sisters, collectively know as the Norns of the Norse pantheon, always seemed to be pulled away by work, or he was pulled away by /his/ work. Hells, Skuld probably barely remembers me anymore. It's been so long since we spent any time together. Urd's the only one willing to get in trouble slacking off to visit me on Midgard most times. And half-god or not, war gods like Amaterasu would not look kindly on my visiting the girls in Asgard. Even Benten, a love goddess, is really prejudiced against agents on my side. he thought to himself as he walked.
The depressing thoughts occupied Xander well enough that he was soon at the door to the Manor house. How am I going to explain this when they ask? 'My face? Oh didn't I ever mention I'm a half-demon half-kami working for Nifelheim forced into mortality by a wish a selfish bitch named Jessica earned when I was 'born?' In fact I'm several millennia old. Yeah, the Ultimate Force made me human until the Harris' either left Sunnydale, they died, or I did. I'm sure I brought it up. Didn't you wonder why I was so willing to throw this shithole of a life away so easily? Silly me, it must of slipped my mind. Please stop trying to pummel me now Buffy.' he imagined darkly as he entered the house.
He let out a little sigh as he say nobody in the foyer, and made his way as quietly as he could to the stairs, and hopefully his room. He had to plan out how he was going to break this to certain people, and hopefully how he was going to hide it from others.
He was almost to his room when he heard an excited voice pipe up behind him.
"Xander!" the voice called.
Crap. he thought, his back still to the speaker as he said, "Hi Dawnie." his voice tired and resigned.
"You okay, Xand? You sound really beaten. Did my cow of a sister attack you or something? Come on, talk to me." Dawn said as she walked up to him and placed her hand in his shoulder blade in concern.
Xander never faced her as he replied, "Naw, I'm just a little run down from everything Dawn. I need some rest and some time to sort things out."
Her tone was the very essence of comfort as she responded, "She'll calm down and see reason Xander. You know she will. You did the right thing, and she knows it deep down. She's just still hurting from that immortal jackass putting her emotions through the wringer, and the stress from what happened in LA with Angel's group."
Xander still faced his door as he replied, "I know that, Dawn. And you're right, it'll all work out."
The eighteen year old's face grew worried as she asked, "Why aren't you facing me? Did Buffy hit you and give you a black eye on your good eye or something? Hey, You're not wearing your patch! Did she have one of her mini-me's steal it to embarrass you? Xander, this is really bothering me! Look at me, please!"
Xander sighed deeply before he turned and faced her, never saying a word. He knew he was in for it now. Here it comes...
"Oh. You're unsealed. Is that all? You had me really worried. But we should get you out of the hallway before someone overhears us or sees you with 20/20 vision before you're ready." Dawn said in relief, even as she opened the door to Xander's room and dragged the dumbstruck demon in, before closing the door behind them.
"How the? Wha...huh?" Xander asked intelligently as he sat on his bed shell-shocked at Dawn's words.
The sister of the slayer rolled her eyes as she replied, "Come on, Xander. I'm a former mystical key, I'm like the ultimate research girl these days, and I've been crushing on you technically since /before/ I officially existed thanks to the retroactive memories from those monks. I'm insulted you'd think I wouldn't have known."
"When did you? And why didn't you ever tell? And...huh?" Xander replied intelligently.
Dawn just smiled as she answered, "Tara was teaching me to read auras when she and Willow were broken up, and yours read...well...too perfectly human. It was like a totally flawless credit and criminal record in the business world. It just screamed 'Agent with a cover story' to anyone who bothers to look past the surface. I wasn't certain there was something extra about you until you survived being hit with Willow's powers like you did, though. Only gods and demons would be naturally immune to that level of human magic energy. From there, it was all about researching and a few very quiet aura spells to probe into the real you. It took like a year before I even figured out you were half god and half demon. Once that was cracked, I did some digging with a few Oracles with help from Anya. We kept Giles out of it for your sake, since he might talk to Buffy and get you in trouble before we had all the facts. We eventually got the low down from this demon woman named Mara who said she was like your oldest friend or something."
Xander had finally composed himself as he rolled his eyes and said, "You could have just said 'Mara' and I'd have left it at that. She always did enjoy ratting on me for laughs." Xander replied, clearly annoyed. "And you never thought to mention that you knew?" he asked.
Dawn just shrugged a she replied, "From what Mara said, and what Anya knew, it might have voided your contract and got you in serious trouble. Even if you're an old demon for some Hell dimension, you're still Xander. I didn't want to get you in trouble for no reason. But, if you're worried, I'm the only person in the house who knew."
Xander just nodded gratefully as he responded, "Thanks for that. I appreciate it."
Dawn's smile grew wicked as she added, "But now that you're free, what's my silence worth to you? I'm thinking dinner, dancing, and a life as my willing love slave...or half your Twinkee stash."
Xander's grin matched hers as he said, "What makes you think you won't be /my/ slave, little mortal? I am a big bad demon and the son of the ruler of a Hell dimension after all."
"Because I'd enjoy being your love slave too much? Besides, you're still Xander. Slavery isn't your thing. Two hours with Mara filled that in pretty easily." Dawn countered with a smile, as Xander reached under his bed and gave her his Twinkees.
"You're too bright for my own good, Dawn-Patrol. You little extortionist." Xander said with a smile as he handed the snack cakes over.
"Hey, I'm way taller and more developed than her highness Buffy. And I'm even legal now. Why are you still treating me like a kid?" Dawn whined even as she tore into the first package.
Xander smiled as he replied, "I baby my sister Belldandy, who's a goddess, just got married, and is several millennia old. You won't win that one, kiddo."
"Humph. No fair." Dawn pouted.
Xander's smile dimmed a bit as he replied, "Life rarely is, Dawn. Life rarely is."
Dawn's own playfulness seemed to evaporate at his words. "You want to talk about it, Xan?" she asked timidly.
Xander just sighed and shrugged as he replied, "I'm just picturing how much all this will blow up in my face even if we do hide it for a while. Any way I slice this, half-god or not, which after that ditz Glory is /not/ working in my favor, I'm still a high powered demon that's lied to every mortal under this roof. The fact that I couldn't reveal myself under penalty from the Ultimate Force won't mean anything to anyone but Giles and Willow. Add to that my Mom is the Dai Makaichou for Nifelheim, my Father is the /BIG/ man up top, and the fact that Buffy would have serious power envy now even if she wasn't already pissed at me. This is going to get ugly on an epic scale. She'll blame me for every bad thing that happened to her, and every good thing that didn't happen, because I have the ears of both sides."
"Yeah, you being technically evil might not sit well with her. She might want to sleep with you." Dawn joked with a mock shudder to lighten his mood.
Xander just looked sharply at her. "Don't make cracks like that. She slept willingly with /Spike/ for months. Who knows what demonic VD I'd get from her." he joked back weakly. He shook his head sadly as he added, "Besides, I'm not evil. Nifelheim itself isn't really that big on the evil. We just...create struggles for humanity."
"And making life harder for humanity is so good for them, right." Dawn added sarcastically. She was a little surprised, however, when he replied.
"Exactly." Xander said with a proud grin.
"Huh? Xander that makes the kind of sense that's, you know, not." Dawn responded after a pause.
Xander just smiled as he explained his response. "Think of it this way, if a person never does /anything/, what happens to them? They die. They need to make an effort to breathe, to eat, to move, etc. Now, once they get all the basics down, what if they stop there? If they just do the minimum to survive, but nothing else? They get fat, lazy, weak, and stupid. Right?"
"O...K" Dawn said, not really seeing where this little speech was going.
"Now, the thing is, humanity in general isn't the most industrious species on the planet. Oh, some are, very much so in fact, but most people aren't going to build and invent and create for no reason. No they're going to have to need things. They're has to be some kind of struggle to overcome to make the go forward."
"Like the thing about necessity being the mother if invention." Dawn cut in, finally seeing what he was saying.
"Exactly. The demons in general in Nifelheim, and mom in particular, are like the universe's weight trainer. As humanity gets stronger, she adds a little more weight to push the limits of the species. That's what drives evolution. As opposed to idiots like the First, and the truly soulless demons, who just want stupid crap like Armageddon to happen. We're more just the Shadows to Dad's Vorlons, if you want to get all Babylon 5 about it." Xander explained.
"Okay, so you're good, you just have an unpopular job." Dawn said, clearly a little relieved.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far. Nifelheim is full of demons bad enough I'd trust Andrew to win a strongman competition before I'd trust them with anything. That's why Mom usually gives me more delicate stuff she needs someone reliable to do. I'm her 'go to' guy for guard duties, honest information, and fair fights against rogue agents that don't defect to Heaven. Basically stuff I don't have to hurt anyone to do." Xander clarified as he laid down on his bed and propped his hands behind his head.
"Well, either way, we need to keep Buffy out of the loop. She'll kill you for sure if she finds out." Dawn said as she sat at his desk and finished her Twinkee.
Xander snorted as he responded, "She could try, you mean. I'm a Class One, Category Two demon on an unrestricted License. Only Mara and my mother rank higher in all of Nifelheim, our 'hell' system, and anything on down until you reach the gates of Hellheim. It would take dozens of Glory added together to get close to a Class Three Aesir or Demon."
"Whoa. Then why are you so worried about Buffy?" Dawn asked, impressed.
"I don't want to hurt her." he replied a if it were obvious. "Besides, I have to stick around for at least a little while on a new assignment. It might be nice if I didn't get constant wake up calls in the form of swords, stakes, etc. in my chest as she tried to kill me in my sleep. And if she somehow managed to piss off Mara, or my sisters, or worse yet, my mother..." Xander said shuddering at the thought. "You do not want my Mother angry. Doubly so if it's something Father might not intercede in."
"That bad, huh?" Dawn asked.
"Atlantis was a fertile, prosperous, paradise until the people there managed to piss her off. There's a reason nobody will ever find a trace of it now, and it has nothing to do with a Stargate spin off." Xander responded seriously.
"Which is a much better reason to keep Buffy out of the loop." Dawn said, her eyes wide.
"That's pretty much the burr in my saddle, Dawn. Even with my concealment spell active, people are going to notice my marks, just like you did. Giles and Willow especially. I need to know what to tell them, and figure out a way to keep them quiet." Xander said with a tired voice.
"Wow, that really sucks. Giles will probably understand. He's mister knows what being stuck under the weight of duty means. Willow though..." Dawn replied.
"Will either never speak to me again, try to exorcise the demon 'possessing' me, or just plain old freak out until I can explain everything in enough detail it will take a couple of eons to go over. Plus on top of that /minor/ stress factor, I have to watch out for whatever new plan the First might cook up, and there's a chance we could face a major dimensional plane destroying Apocalypse because of the imbalance Buffy's activate all Slayers idea brought about." Xander added with deep frustration.
"Just to clarify, how much worse is..."
"The whole universe will go kablooey, instead of just Earth. Asgard and Nifelheim will survive, but the mortal plane here would be toast." Xander explained.
"Oh. Well. Thanks a bunch Buffy." Dawn said weakly, as she got a little green.
"Yeah. Thankfully, were still here, so that's just a maybe. I'm supposed to figure out a way to deal with that in my spare time until it becomes an imminent threat." Xander expanded sarcastically.
"Your job sucks eggs, on toast, Xander." Dawn said sympathetically.
"Don't I know it." he agreed.
"What will you do if it comes to that?" she asked curiously.
"Try to get Willow to reverse the spell, I guess. If she refuses, war gods and archdemons from the non Apocalypse friendly realms will come out of the woodwork to pick off every Slayer but one to restore things. Which is why I want to find an easier, less death oriented, out." Xander answered.
"Good luck on that." Dawn said weakly. Her tone strengthened as she said, "Any idea on the Scooby gang front, yet?"
"Tell them I got drunk and got a tattoo like one I saw in a demonology text about gods because Ahn used to refer to me as her 'sex god?'" he joked. He sighed after a pause and finally said, I guess I'll pull them aside individually and explain everything I can. From there, I just hope for the best."
"You want back up with you when you do that?" Dawn offered.
"Nah. I'll probably have more than I want, whether or not I like it, won't I Mara?" Xander said in annoyance, as he looked over to his CD player with a small glare.
Dawn thought Xander was loosing his grip on reality, until the player opened, and the demoness in question started to impossibly pull up out of the tiny disk that had been freed, and climb into the room herself.
"How did you know I was listening, Alex?" the blonde demoness asked with a pout, as she folded her arms.
"It's been less than three decades, Mara. I still know the feel of your teleportation signal. Only putting in a fingertip so you can listen in still alerts me. Besides, I knew you'd want to get a personal laugh for ratting me out. Again." Xander replied with a cheeky grin.
"Good call, handsome." Mara replied unapologetically. She then turned to Dawn and said, "Hey kid. Long time no see. Where any of you saw me, anyway."
END PART 2
Author: DhampyrX2
Summary: Yet another secret origins of Xander fic that my twisted little brain cooked up.
Timeframe: Post Season 7
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do this for fun. Please don't sue me.
Xander would have been the first to admit to a large dose of trepidation as he made his way back to the Watcher's London manor. Part of that was due to his new responsibilities. A greater part of it had to do with the two newbie Slayers, a pair of Buffy's personal trainees that Andrew referred to as her "Crimson Guard" due to their almost godlike devotion to Buffy and her accomplishments, that were watching him as he exited the restaurant bar. They were certain to have seen him talking to Urd for hours and would report it back to her to berate him with. The greatest weight on hid mind, however, had to do with his demon markings.
He was employing the common spell Demons and Aesir alike used to make people not notice them, but that was only foolproof on those who were unobservant, and had no training in magic whatsoever. In fact, he was fairly sure that in the Manor only Buffy and her freshmen Slayers would not notice them. Buffy because she was ignoring him and expected him to be powerless anyway, and her Slayers because they were trained to follow her lead. Giles, Willow, Dawn, Faith, Andrew, hell even Kennedy, were not so willfully blind to him.
"Man, if Dawn doesn't recognize them from research, Andrew will, if he doesn't Willow will, and if all else fails Giles will know. And even if they don't off hand they'll look it up. I am soooo screwed." Xander grumbled, although he had a small smirk as the skies above him rumbled with thunder. He was always glad Father couldn't reprimand him with a full on lightning bolt for language the way he did the kami. Working for Nifelheim did have advantages when one wanted to express themselves with vulgarity. He suspected Urd only got away with it talking to him because she was quoting Jessica Harris' contract directly. Well, that, and the fact Father was more lenient with her for being half demon, just as their mother, the Dai Makaichou Hild, was indulgent toward him for the sake of his kami half.
Yes, they were certainly a pair, he and Urd. The two half breed children of Hild, and Kami-sama Himself were always in a unique situation. The elder, Urd, was a wild free spirit with a penchant for matchmaking, and for finding trouble (usually both worked hand in hand for the self proclaimed 'Cupid of Love'), while the younger, Alexander, was a virtual White Knight working for his demon lord mother. In fact, he often wondered why his parents didn't switch them, at least temporarily, at some point, despite what he had told his sister earlier. He knew his mother wanted more time with Urd as she grew up, and his Father loved Xander as well. Oh well, I guess they didn't want to confuse us. Besides, Mom needed someone besides Mara she could trust not to double cross her for assignments like this he thought philosophically.
Although, that thought was a cold comfort whenever Xander wanted to spend more time near his half sisters Belldandy and Skuld. His three sisters, collectively know as the Norns of the Norse pantheon, always seemed to be pulled away by work, or he was pulled away by /his/ work. Hells, Skuld probably barely remembers me anymore. It's been so long since we spent any time together. Urd's the only one willing to get in trouble slacking off to visit me on Midgard most times. And half-god or not, war gods like Amaterasu would not look kindly on my visiting the girls in Asgard. Even Benten, a love goddess, is really prejudiced against agents on my side. he thought to himself as he walked.
The depressing thoughts occupied Xander well enough that he was soon at the door to the Manor house. How am I going to explain this when they ask? 'My face? Oh didn't I ever mention I'm a half-demon half-kami working for Nifelheim forced into mortality by a wish a selfish bitch named Jessica earned when I was 'born?' In fact I'm several millennia old. Yeah, the Ultimate Force made me human until the Harris' either left Sunnydale, they died, or I did. I'm sure I brought it up. Didn't you wonder why I was so willing to throw this shithole of a life away so easily? Silly me, it must of slipped my mind. Please stop trying to pummel me now Buffy.' he imagined darkly as he entered the house.
He let out a little sigh as he say nobody in the foyer, and made his way as quietly as he could to the stairs, and hopefully his room. He had to plan out how he was going to break this to certain people, and hopefully how he was going to hide it from others.
He was almost to his room when he heard an excited voice pipe up behind him.
"Xander!" the voice called.
Crap. he thought, his back still to the speaker as he said, "Hi Dawnie." his voice tired and resigned.
"You okay, Xand? You sound really beaten. Did my cow of a sister attack you or something? Come on, talk to me." Dawn said as she walked up to him and placed her hand in his shoulder blade in concern.
Xander never faced her as he replied, "Naw, I'm just a little run down from everything Dawn. I need some rest and some time to sort things out."
Her tone was the very essence of comfort as she responded, "She'll calm down and see reason Xander. You know she will. You did the right thing, and she knows it deep down. She's just still hurting from that immortal jackass putting her emotions through the wringer, and the stress from what happened in LA with Angel's group."
Xander still faced his door as he replied, "I know that, Dawn. And you're right, it'll all work out."
The eighteen year old's face grew worried as she asked, "Why aren't you facing me? Did Buffy hit you and give you a black eye on your good eye or something? Hey, You're not wearing your patch! Did she have one of her mini-me's steal it to embarrass you? Xander, this is really bothering me! Look at me, please!"
Xander sighed deeply before he turned and faced her, never saying a word. He knew he was in for it now. Here it comes...
"Oh. You're unsealed. Is that all? You had me really worried. But we should get you out of the hallway before someone overhears us or sees you with 20/20 vision before you're ready." Dawn said in relief, even as she opened the door to Xander's room and dragged the dumbstruck demon in, before closing the door behind them.
"How the? Wha...huh?" Xander asked intelligently as he sat on his bed shell-shocked at Dawn's words.
The sister of the slayer rolled her eyes as she replied, "Come on, Xander. I'm a former mystical key, I'm like the ultimate research girl these days, and I've been crushing on you technically since /before/ I officially existed thanks to the retroactive memories from those monks. I'm insulted you'd think I wouldn't have known."
"When did you? And why didn't you ever tell? And...huh?" Xander replied intelligently.
Dawn just smiled as she answered, "Tara was teaching me to read auras when she and Willow were broken up, and yours read...well...too perfectly human. It was like a totally flawless credit and criminal record in the business world. It just screamed 'Agent with a cover story' to anyone who bothers to look past the surface. I wasn't certain there was something extra about you until you survived being hit with Willow's powers like you did, though. Only gods and demons would be naturally immune to that level of human magic energy. From there, it was all about researching and a few very quiet aura spells to probe into the real you. It took like a year before I even figured out you were half god and half demon. Once that was cracked, I did some digging with a few Oracles with help from Anya. We kept Giles out of it for your sake, since he might talk to Buffy and get you in trouble before we had all the facts. We eventually got the low down from this demon woman named Mara who said she was like your oldest friend or something."
Xander had finally composed himself as he rolled his eyes and said, "You could have just said 'Mara' and I'd have left it at that. She always did enjoy ratting on me for laughs." Xander replied, clearly annoyed. "And you never thought to mention that you knew?" he asked.
Dawn just shrugged a she replied, "From what Mara said, and what Anya knew, it might have voided your contract and got you in serious trouble. Even if you're an old demon for some Hell dimension, you're still Xander. I didn't want to get you in trouble for no reason. But, if you're worried, I'm the only person in the house who knew."
Xander just nodded gratefully as he responded, "Thanks for that. I appreciate it."
Dawn's smile grew wicked as she added, "But now that you're free, what's my silence worth to you? I'm thinking dinner, dancing, and a life as my willing love slave...or half your Twinkee stash."
Xander's grin matched hers as he said, "What makes you think you won't be /my/ slave, little mortal? I am a big bad demon and the son of the ruler of a Hell dimension after all."
"Because I'd enjoy being your love slave too much? Besides, you're still Xander. Slavery isn't your thing. Two hours with Mara filled that in pretty easily." Dawn countered with a smile, as Xander reached under his bed and gave her his Twinkees.
"You're too bright for my own good, Dawn-Patrol. You little extortionist." Xander said with a smile as he handed the snack cakes over.
"Hey, I'm way taller and more developed than her highness Buffy. And I'm even legal now. Why are you still treating me like a kid?" Dawn whined even as she tore into the first package.
Xander smiled as he replied, "I baby my sister Belldandy, who's a goddess, just got married, and is several millennia old. You won't win that one, kiddo."
"Humph. No fair." Dawn pouted.
Xander's smile dimmed a bit as he replied, "Life rarely is, Dawn. Life rarely is."
Dawn's own playfulness seemed to evaporate at his words. "You want to talk about it, Xan?" she asked timidly.
Xander just sighed and shrugged as he replied, "I'm just picturing how much all this will blow up in my face even if we do hide it for a while. Any way I slice this, half-god or not, which after that ditz Glory is /not/ working in my favor, I'm still a high powered demon that's lied to every mortal under this roof. The fact that I couldn't reveal myself under penalty from the Ultimate Force won't mean anything to anyone but Giles and Willow. Add to that my Mom is the Dai Makaichou for Nifelheim, my Father is the /BIG/ man up top, and the fact that Buffy would have serious power envy now even if she wasn't already pissed at me. This is going to get ugly on an epic scale. She'll blame me for every bad thing that happened to her, and every good thing that didn't happen, because I have the ears of both sides."
"Yeah, you being technically evil might not sit well with her. She might want to sleep with you." Dawn joked with a mock shudder to lighten his mood.
Xander just looked sharply at her. "Don't make cracks like that. She slept willingly with /Spike/ for months. Who knows what demonic VD I'd get from her." he joked back weakly. He shook his head sadly as he added, "Besides, I'm not evil. Nifelheim itself isn't really that big on the evil. We just...create struggles for humanity."
"And making life harder for humanity is so good for them, right." Dawn added sarcastically. She was a little surprised, however, when he replied.
"Exactly." Xander said with a proud grin.
"Huh? Xander that makes the kind of sense that's, you know, not." Dawn responded after a pause.
Xander just smiled as he explained his response. "Think of it this way, if a person never does /anything/, what happens to them? They die. They need to make an effort to breathe, to eat, to move, etc. Now, once they get all the basics down, what if they stop there? If they just do the minimum to survive, but nothing else? They get fat, lazy, weak, and stupid. Right?"
"O...K" Dawn said, not really seeing where this little speech was going.
"Now, the thing is, humanity in general isn't the most industrious species on the planet. Oh, some are, very much so in fact, but most people aren't going to build and invent and create for no reason. No they're going to have to need things. They're has to be some kind of struggle to overcome to make the go forward."
"Like the thing about necessity being the mother if invention." Dawn cut in, finally seeing what he was saying.
"Exactly. The demons in general in Nifelheim, and mom in particular, are like the universe's weight trainer. As humanity gets stronger, she adds a little more weight to push the limits of the species. That's what drives evolution. As opposed to idiots like the First, and the truly soulless demons, who just want stupid crap like Armageddon to happen. We're more just the Shadows to Dad's Vorlons, if you want to get all Babylon 5 about it." Xander explained.
"Okay, so you're good, you just have an unpopular job." Dawn said, clearly a little relieved.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far. Nifelheim is full of demons bad enough I'd trust Andrew to win a strongman competition before I'd trust them with anything. That's why Mom usually gives me more delicate stuff she needs someone reliable to do. I'm her 'go to' guy for guard duties, honest information, and fair fights against rogue agents that don't defect to Heaven. Basically stuff I don't have to hurt anyone to do." Xander clarified as he laid down on his bed and propped his hands behind his head.
"Well, either way, we need to keep Buffy out of the loop. She'll kill you for sure if she finds out." Dawn said as she sat at his desk and finished her Twinkee.
Xander snorted as he responded, "She could try, you mean. I'm a Class One, Category Two demon on an unrestricted License. Only Mara and my mother rank higher in all of Nifelheim, our 'hell' system, and anything on down until you reach the gates of Hellheim. It would take dozens of Glory added together to get close to a Class Three Aesir or Demon."
"Whoa. Then why are you so worried about Buffy?" Dawn asked, impressed.
"I don't want to hurt her." he replied a if it were obvious. "Besides, I have to stick around for at least a little while on a new assignment. It might be nice if I didn't get constant wake up calls in the form of swords, stakes, etc. in my chest as she tried to kill me in my sleep. And if she somehow managed to piss off Mara, or my sisters, or worse yet, my mother..." Xander said shuddering at the thought. "You do not want my Mother angry. Doubly so if it's something Father might not intercede in."
"That bad, huh?" Dawn asked.
"Atlantis was a fertile, prosperous, paradise until the people there managed to piss her off. There's a reason nobody will ever find a trace of it now, and it has nothing to do with a Stargate spin off." Xander responded seriously.
"Which is a much better reason to keep Buffy out of the loop." Dawn said, her eyes wide.
"That's pretty much the burr in my saddle, Dawn. Even with my concealment spell active, people are going to notice my marks, just like you did. Giles and Willow especially. I need to know what to tell them, and figure out a way to keep them quiet." Xander said with a tired voice.
"Wow, that really sucks. Giles will probably understand. He's mister knows what being stuck under the weight of duty means. Willow though..." Dawn replied.
"Will either never speak to me again, try to exorcise the demon 'possessing' me, or just plain old freak out until I can explain everything in enough detail it will take a couple of eons to go over. Plus on top of that /minor/ stress factor, I have to watch out for whatever new plan the First might cook up, and there's a chance we could face a major dimensional plane destroying Apocalypse because of the imbalance Buffy's activate all Slayers idea brought about." Xander added with deep frustration.
"Just to clarify, how much worse is..."
"The whole universe will go kablooey, instead of just Earth. Asgard and Nifelheim will survive, but the mortal plane here would be toast." Xander explained.
"Oh. Well. Thanks a bunch Buffy." Dawn said weakly, as she got a little green.
"Yeah. Thankfully, were still here, so that's just a maybe. I'm supposed to figure out a way to deal with that in my spare time until it becomes an imminent threat." Xander expanded sarcastically.
"Your job sucks eggs, on toast, Xander." Dawn said sympathetically.
"Don't I know it." he agreed.
"What will you do if it comes to that?" she asked curiously.
"Try to get Willow to reverse the spell, I guess. If she refuses, war gods and archdemons from the non Apocalypse friendly realms will come out of the woodwork to pick off every Slayer but one to restore things. Which is why I want to find an easier, less death oriented, out." Xander answered.
"Good luck on that." Dawn said weakly. Her tone strengthened as she said, "Any idea on the Scooby gang front, yet?"
"Tell them I got drunk and got a tattoo like one I saw in a demonology text about gods because Ahn used to refer to me as her 'sex god?'" he joked. He sighed after a pause and finally said, I guess I'll pull them aside individually and explain everything I can. From there, I just hope for the best."
"You want back up with you when you do that?" Dawn offered.
"Nah. I'll probably have more than I want, whether or not I like it, won't I Mara?" Xander said in annoyance, as he looked over to his CD player with a small glare.
Dawn thought Xander was loosing his grip on reality, until the player opened, and the demoness in question started to impossibly pull up out of the tiny disk that had been freed, and climb into the room herself.
"How did you know I was listening, Alex?" the blonde demoness asked with a pout, as she folded her arms.
"It's been less than three decades, Mara. I still know the feel of your teleportation signal. Only putting in a fingertip so you can listen in still alerts me. Besides, I knew you'd want to get a personal laugh for ratting me out. Again." Xander replied with a cheeky grin.
"Good call, handsome." Mara replied unapologetically. She then turned to Dawn and said, "Hey kid. Long time no see. Where any of you saw me, anyway."
END PART 2
