Title: Divine Damnation
Author: DhampyrX2
Rating: PG-13 for language and supernatural violence
Summary: Yet another secret origins of Xander fic that my twisted little brain cooked up.
Timeframe: Post Season 7
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do this for fun. Please don't sue me.
Xander's smirk was one of long familiarity as he commented, "You've been checking up on me for a while, Mara?"
The demoness snorted disdainfully, even as her face showed a wide smirk as she retorted, "I needed something to do for a laugh from time to time. Besides, Dawn here made it pretty clear she was first in line to be your wife once she was legal the last time I talked to her. I had to make sure she was treating my favorite momma's boy right."
This comment made both demons crack up in laughter, even as they went in for a friendly hug, as Dawn developed a slight blush. As the two demonic agents of Hild pulled apart, Xander looked Mara over. Her long blonde hair was past her shoulders and framed the porcelain skin of her face nicely. She was dressed in a low cut red silk blouse that flashed her generous cleavage, and skin tight black jeans, along with a pair of raised black army boots, and her fingerless leather gloves. The outfit seemed to perfectly compliment her complexion, as well as the crimson hue of both her demon markings, and her eyes.
"You are a sight for sore eyes you crazy tomboy." Xander said, baiting her with one of his old childhood taunts.
"Especially now that you have both back, you annoying little tag along." Mara shot back in return, even as she pulled out her hip flask from her cleavage and took a sip of whiskey, before offering it to Xander.
The demonic Scooby took the flask gratefully, and took a long pull before handing it back. His face grew slightly smug as he shot back, "So, I hear Mom's top agent blew an assignment to keep my sister from becoming an honest woman recently."
Mara's face grew cold as she replied, "Urd still has a big mouth." She tried to put on a disinterested air as she added, "It was started with a wish backed by the Ultimate Force, so I was behind an eight ball to begin with. Even I can't do miracles. That's your old man's thing."
Xander laughed off her irritation as he replied, "And you never thought it might just be busy work to make you and Urd actually talk over whatever set you off this time?"
Mara's only reply was to turn her nose up at him in a huff.
Xander, sensing that this was an even more sore subject than usual, decided that discretion was the better part of valor and turned his attention to Dawn as he asked, "So you're claiming me behind my back now, huh Dawn-Patrol?"
Dawn's face was defiant, even as her blush intensified when she responded "I've got dibs. I've told you and everyone else that for years."
Mara chuckled ruefully as she interjected, "I know a couple of dozen succubae back home that will want to argue with you over that one, kid. A couple of demons and Aesir, too. Alex here was quite popular back in the day. Not that he took any of them up on any serious long term offers. He fears commitment."
It was Xander's turn to snort indifferently as he commented, "Just because I don't throw my heart away on any idiot like Urd does doesn't mean I'm scared of commitment, Mara. I just want to make sure that whoever I'm with seriously is really the one. I'm too loyal to take the chance it will go south on me until I'm positive."
"Speaking of you sister and idiots, that baka Troubadour was sniffing around Urd again a couple of years ago." Mara remarked idly.
Xander's features grew sharp, making Dawn let out a small 'eeep' as he spat and angry, "WHAT?"
"Oh, she didn't mention it? He talked his way back into her heart just make her cry. He needed a goddess's tears of love for some stupid formula for the divine melody or something. Once he had them, he dumped her again." Mara elaborated.
Xander's left eye was twitching as two primary thoughts went through his mind. One was Mara must still think of Urd as a friend deep down to bring this up for her, I'll have to find out what happened and help them patch things up...again. The other thought though, was the one he vocalized. "I'll kill the bastard."
Mara wagged her finger in a mocking reprimand as she said, "Ah. ah, ahhh. No going off on your sister's ex unless you want to get in trouble."
Xander's ire was clear as he snapped, "What trouble? He's just a stupid tree spirit, not a kami. He's not in the Doublet System. And I told him I'd track him down and kill him if he ever hurt her again when he dumped her for that stupid bird."
"You're here on assignment, remember. You can't take off to track the little coward down. And you know he'll be in hiding for the next century at least now that you're active again." Mara answered smugly.
"Fine, but the second I see him in the future, I'll make him wish I'd tossed him in Hellheim like I wanted to do the first time." Xander replied in a dead tone.
Dawn decided Xander needed a mood lightener, so she interjected, "See this is why I need to date you. You're the only boyfriend I can have that will survive your attitude toward anyone hurting your girls."
"And what about surviving Buff, Dawn?" Xander asked, forcing himself to calm down and respond to her joke.
The youngest Summers sister just rolled her eyes as she answered, "At the rate she's going, she'll be pushing me to settle into a nice downward spiral of an abusive relationship with some vampire soon. She'll hate any boyfriend I have who happens to have a pulse."
Xander just nodded his head in concession as he soberly answered, "Yeah. Sad part is, you might be right. She has serious issues."
Mara watched the by-play with mild interest for a while before she cleared her throat meaningfully. "Well, as interesting as it is to watch you and your newest object of overprotection bash that bleach headed necrophiliac she calls sister, I do have to mention that I had a reason to be here besides just checking up on your sorry ass."
Xander nodded, expecting that as he replied, "Well, what does Mom want me to know?"
"Not my business, kiddo. I'm just here to update your gear to the modern retooling standards." she answered as she waved her hand and recited a small spell in the demonic language of Nifelheim. Once she was done, a laptop, pager, cell phone, and small book titled "Revisions to the Demon Code of Misconduct, MCVIII Edition" appeared on his desk. "Standard use, just store them in you dimensional pocket." she explained as Xander opened the laptop and accessed his account on the Infernal Intranet.
"Well, this is a step up. I even have a working outline of my job already uploaded to my account. Thanks babe." Xander said distractedly, not realizing he had used the one nickname he had for Mara that she absolutely /loathed/ hearing from him.
"/WHAT/ did you just call me, Alexander?" she growled.
Xander's eyes went wide as he realized what he had said, and began to sputter, "I, uh, that is, i...it was an accident. Come on Mara I just got fully back. Cut me some slack..."
His words were cut off by the fireball that that slammed into his face and knocked him on his rear.
Her face was still angry as she spat, "I'll let you off easy this time, squirt. Never let it happen again."
Dawn, who had been edging toward the door ever since she noticed Mara getting angry took the pause after the demoness spoke to weakly babble, "Well, I think I should get gone and let you two catch up. Besides, this looks like it will end in a knock down drag out ala my sister, or some super demonic version of Xan and Cordy in the utility closet, and I really don't think my fragile little human body could withstand the aftermath of either. It was nice seeing you again Mara. Xan, uh, if you live, let me know what you decide, and I'll back you all the way. Bye." From there she was out of the room as fast as she could get the door opened, and then closed behind her.
Both agents of Nifelheim stared at where Dawn had stood for several seconds before they both cracked up, as Xander got back onto his feet. "She's cute. I wonder how she'd react to Urd and Skuld throwing lightning and bombs at each other when they argue, if she thought this was serious."
"As long as she didn't insinuate that they were going to start making out. That is what she meant by the comment about Cordelia." he explained with a laugh.
"Ew. Like that would ever happen." Mara retorted, perhaps just a bit too quickly, not that Xander noticed. "Cordelia, huh? Hey there's a new valkyrie that's named Cordelia that was originally from Sunnydale. Is that who she means. You were boffing a valkyrie while on contract restriction?"
"They made her a valkyrie? Well that's better than those fourth class idiots in the PTB were using her for." Xander muttered distractedly. He then processed the rest of her question and answered, "No. Cor and I went to the same high school together while I was stuck as a mortal, and we dated. We never had sex, though. We just groped each other in utility closets. It's nice to hear she has something to do that she's suited for though. The PTB's really screwed her over."
Mara seemed to have her curiosity mollified by his answer. After a moment to think, though, she asked, "You going to look her up now that your off your leash?"
Xander shrugged as he answered, "I guess I could ask Bell to set up a meet to talk about old times. It's not like I can visit her in Valhalla. You know how they get up there."
"Yeah, the last time we dropped Urd off to sleep off a night of partying, we had irritated Aesir bothering and accusing us of stuff by the third buffer realm. The older ones aren't too tolerant." Mara agreed.
There was a measurable lull in the conversation before Xander asked, "So, I heard about what went on in Asgard while I was mortal from Urd. How about you fill me in on the low down from down low, you blonde blabber mouth?"
Mara just rolled her eyes as she responded, "Whatever you say, you whiny boss's pet."
And so, for the second time that day, Xander got a chance to catch up on what he missed during his time sentenced to be the Harris' son through the aid of one of his girls.
End Part 3
