Chapter one: Meese are Meese-fully suspenseful
One day, Frodo went to the supermarket. "What is that?" he asked, seeing a croissant in a plastic packing-thing. "Is that Harry Potter?" he wondered aloud. Some hot model-people started looking at him and calling him a freak. "Why thank you," he responded.
MEANWHILE:
"Yes, it is," said Merry, watching Jeopardy. He had no idea what the show was, so he was saying stuff.
"I LIKE CHAIN MAIL!" said Pippin. "WOOHOO LET'S KILL SOMEONE!"
"ATTACK VIOLENTLY!!!!!" screamed Aragorn.
"Whoops, I cut myself with this sword," remarked Gandalf.
"Stupid old man, you're not supposed to have a sword! Haven't you read this stupid book by some guy named JRR Tolkein?" said Frodo. He had returned, having bought a pet rock and some broccoli.
"I LOVE BROCOLI!" cooed Sam, checking out Frodo's arse.
"Wait! I read that book!" screamed Boromir, checking reviews on fanfiction.net. "He does have a sword! I can't count!"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"WHO SAID THAT??!" screamed Boromir.
"I like Boogeymen," shouted Gollum.
"You are a boogey-gollum!" said Frodo.
"OOO, let's go find a plot!!!" said Aragorn!
"OK!"
so, they all piled into the car. It was actually a station wagon, and the hobbits, gimli, and Legolas (cuz he sucks) were forced to sit in the back- trunk-thingy.
One day, Frodo went to the supermarket. "What is that?" he asked, seeing a croissant in a plastic packing-thing. "Is that Harry Potter?" he wondered aloud. Some hot model-people started looking at him and calling him a freak. "Why thank you," he responded.
MEANWHILE:
"Yes, it is," said Merry, watching Jeopardy. He had no idea what the show was, so he was saying stuff.
"I LIKE CHAIN MAIL!" said Pippin. "WOOHOO LET'S KILL SOMEONE!"
"ATTACK VIOLENTLY!!!!!" screamed Aragorn.
"Whoops, I cut myself with this sword," remarked Gandalf.
"Stupid old man, you're not supposed to have a sword! Haven't you read this stupid book by some guy named JRR Tolkein?" said Frodo. He had returned, having bought a pet rock and some broccoli.
"I LOVE BROCOLI!" cooed Sam, checking out Frodo's arse.
"Wait! I read that book!" screamed Boromir, checking reviews on fanfiction.net. "He does have a sword! I can't count!"
"No shit, Sherlock."
"WHO SAID THAT??!" screamed Boromir.
"I like Boogeymen," shouted Gollum.
"You are a boogey-gollum!" said Frodo.
"OOO, let's go find a plot!!!" said Aragorn!
"OK!"
so, they all piled into the car. It was actually a station wagon, and the hobbits, gimli, and Legolas (cuz he sucks) were forced to sit in the back- trunk-thingy.
