Chapter the Fourth
Adam's Song
Harry was back in the common room by himself again. He figured as long as everyone's outside, it seemed pointless to do his dark deed hidden somewhere. His thoughts wandered to last summer....
Harry got a job over the summer. He didn't really want the job, but it was better than staying home all day. Uncle Vernon was becoming particularly touchy that summer, so Harry got a job at the bookstore. Another reason he got the job at the book store, was that he knew he would be able to avoid Dudley, seeing as he never would set foot in a bookstore upon his own will.
Ron and Hermione hadn't written him all summer. That was the first sign of what was to come. This was the final straw for Harry. He had to do something, but what could he do?
While walking in town, he spotted a music store. That's when he saw it. The Discman. And the CD's he had no idea would keep him alive as long as they did. He picked up the Discman, holding it in his hands like some treasure. It was odd, Harry thought, that I would want a muggle electronic. But never the less, he held it very carefully. He had about 300 pounds saved up from his job. He bought the Discman and 2 CD's.
They were both Blink 182 CD's. He didn't know what drew him to these CD's. They were some American band. The two he chose were Enema of the State and Blink 182 (the new one). He went home and listened to a song that he thought was strangely named: Adam's Song. He listened. That was the first time that he ever cut himself. This was the way to relive the pain of everyone ignoring him. Harry remembered every word. What he did while listening. He re-counted the memory.
[I never thought I'd die alone, I laughed the loudest hoot of known]
The knife touched his skin
[I traced the cord back to the wall, no wonder it was never plugged in all]
The knife pierced his skin
[I took my time, I hurried up, the choice was mine, I didn't think enough]
He gingerly cut the skin
[I'm too depressed to go on. You'll be sorry when I'm gone]
He looked as the blood oozed out of the wound
[I never conquered when I came, 16 just held such better days]
This time he cut more fiercely
[Days when I could still feel alive, when I couldn't wait to get outside, the world was watching time go by, the tour was over, we'd survive. I couldn't wait, till I got home, to pass the time in my room alone]
He dropped the knife on the floor. That's enough, he thought. He kept listening to the music.
[I never thought, I'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things, to all my friends; you'll never set foot in my room again.
You'll close it off, board it up, remember the time that I spilled the cup; of apple juice, in the hall, please tell mom this is not her fault.]
This part about the mom and the juice got him to do something that he hadn't done in a long time. Cry. He cried for his mom. If she were here, none of this would be happening. If she were here, he wouldn't be doing this to himself. He wouldn't live with the Dursley's. He wouldn't be the Famous Harry Potter. He'd just be Harry. Plain Harry.
Adam's Song
Harry was back in the common room by himself again. He figured as long as everyone's outside, it seemed pointless to do his dark deed hidden somewhere. His thoughts wandered to last summer....
Harry got a job over the summer. He didn't really want the job, but it was better than staying home all day. Uncle Vernon was becoming particularly touchy that summer, so Harry got a job at the bookstore. Another reason he got the job at the book store, was that he knew he would be able to avoid Dudley, seeing as he never would set foot in a bookstore upon his own will.
Ron and Hermione hadn't written him all summer. That was the first sign of what was to come. This was the final straw for Harry. He had to do something, but what could he do?
While walking in town, he spotted a music store. That's when he saw it. The Discman. And the CD's he had no idea would keep him alive as long as they did. He picked up the Discman, holding it in his hands like some treasure. It was odd, Harry thought, that I would want a muggle electronic. But never the less, he held it very carefully. He had about 300 pounds saved up from his job. He bought the Discman and 2 CD's.
They were both Blink 182 CD's. He didn't know what drew him to these CD's. They were some American band. The two he chose were Enema of the State and Blink 182 (the new one). He went home and listened to a song that he thought was strangely named: Adam's Song. He listened. That was the first time that he ever cut himself. This was the way to relive the pain of everyone ignoring him. Harry remembered every word. What he did while listening. He re-counted the memory.
[I never thought I'd die alone, I laughed the loudest hoot of known]
The knife touched his skin
[I traced the cord back to the wall, no wonder it was never plugged in all]
The knife pierced his skin
[I took my time, I hurried up, the choice was mine, I didn't think enough]
He gingerly cut the skin
[I'm too depressed to go on. You'll be sorry when I'm gone]
He looked as the blood oozed out of the wound
[I never conquered when I came, 16 just held such better days]
This time he cut more fiercely
[Days when I could still feel alive, when I couldn't wait to get outside, the world was watching time go by, the tour was over, we'd survive. I couldn't wait, till I got home, to pass the time in my room alone]
He dropped the knife on the floor. That's enough, he thought. He kept listening to the music.
[I never thought, I'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things, to all my friends; you'll never set foot in my room again.
You'll close it off, board it up, remember the time that I spilled the cup; of apple juice, in the hall, please tell mom this is not her fault.]
This part about the mom and the juice got him to do something that he hadn't done in a long time. Cry. He cried for his mom. If she were here, none of this would be happening. If she were here, he wouldn't be doing this to himself. He wouldn't live with the Dursley's. He wouldn't be the Famous Harry Potter. He'd just be Harry. Plain Harry.
