"I'm leaving. I'm not kidding this time. I'm not waiting for you to acknowledge my letter of resignation," Sara said as she walked into my office. She's been on vacation for two weeks, but there is no way to tell that. She still looks haggard. She looks a little on the gaunt side. I'm assuming that this means that her drinking has escalated. The DUI was probably only the tip of the iceberg.

"Sara, we've been through this before," I grumble. I'm not interested in this struggle. She is obviously disinterested in this too.

"I've given you four years. What the hell have I gotten out of it?" Sara yelled. Her face reddened. The anger flashed in her eyes. She was much less composed than normal. Even on her worst days, she wasn't nearly as emotional. Sara always managed to hold it together, but I have let her go astray. I wasn't the supportive mentor that I used to be. Something inside of me hardened. It was a part of me that was scared to let Sara in. It was afraid to be hurt when she realized that she could do so much better.

"Sara, this isn't appropriate," I comment. I was hoping that she would shut the door and come talk to me, but I seemed to have set her off more. She began to breathe faster. Her gaze narrowed on me as she walked toward my desk.

"I'm sick of being treated like shit. I'm sick of being passed over for cases . . . for promotions. I'm sick of being second to someone else. I'm sick of you being so damn closed off and afraid. I'm sick of having to take two week vacations because of something that never has interfered with my work," Sara yelled.

"Sara, have you eaten today?" I asked. The statement was made only to be misinterpreted.

"I'm not drunk, Grissom. Take your damn job and shove it," Sara yelled as she walked away. I only wanted to go to neutral ground to talk to her. A lot of what she said was right. I was a coward. I punished Sara for the feelings I had for her. I neglected her. I passed her over for cases and promotions. It would have been silly to argue the opposite.

I sat at my desk amidst the eye of her hurricane.


He didn't even blink. He didn't offer to talk to me. He didn't reassure me that I was a valuable member of his team. I didn't need this.

Today was the first day that I regretted coming to Las Vegas. I had let myself become so vulnerable here. I let victims touch me. I gave away a little of my heart to Grissom; only to have it rejected. I was punished severely for that. Grissom looked at me different. It was a look that I couldn't even describe. He looked upon me with pity and maybe disgust. I didn't need this. San Francisco was there to open its arms wide and welcome me back home.

Yesterday I packed up my apartment. I told my landlord some lame story about needing to move home to take care of my dying mother. He said that he would let me out of his lease. My landlord wished me luck. He said that I was a great tenant. He said to take care.

"Get out of my way," I grumbled as I walked into someone . . . I pushed them away. The tears in my eyes were blurring my vision. I was thankful that they weren't falling down my cheeks. I wanted out. I wanted whoever was in my way to let me pass.

"Sara, are you okay?" Nick asked as he ran to catch up to me.

"Leave me alone," I yelled bitterly. I wanted so badly to hate him. He made it so hard for me to do so. He had these puppy dog eyes . . . ones that I couldn't get mad at. Nick had apologized for being promoted . . . he said it should have been me. He even took me out for a drink. He let me wallow in my own misery.

"Sara, I heard you fighting with Grissom. You know . . . you're right," Nick said. I could hear his footfalls still in pursuit of me no matter how much faster I tried to walk.

"Nick, please don't do this. I want to leave mad at Grissom . . . that way I will never regret leaving," I said as I finally made it outside to the parking lot. The night air was markedly cooler than the day time. Fall in Vegas wasn't all that different from the other seasons, but tonight felt damn cold. It was me . . . it wasn't the weather.

"Leave pissed at him. I just want you to know . . . that we were lucky to have you. You can do so much better than this crime lab," Nick replied as he helped me put a small box containing my personal effects into the trunk of my Suburban.

"Nick, you can do better too," I replied. It finally felt safe to let the tears run down my cheeks. It was okay to be vulnerable around Nick . . . he didn't hurt people the way Grissom did.

"I'm going to miss you," Nick said as he opened the driver side door for me.

"Yeh, I'll miss you too," I replied as I hugged him.

"If you're ever in Vegas . . . ," Nick whispered.

"If you're ever in San Francisco," I replied, "Tell Greg, Cat, and Warrick that I needed to go."

"Drive safe," Nick replied as he waved. He watched me pull out of the parking lot. I began my journey back to where I started. It was where I should have never left.