Inflection

Disclaimer: I own Lucius' bedspread. That is all. And I'm quite content with that. [Wraps said object around herself and sighs contentedly.]

I think the phrase I'm looking for is 'whoa'. This fic has broken through the 3500-view mark. And that's just – just wow. [Feels special.] I really just want to spend the next few minutes gushing about this, but I won't. Just want to say a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed, because it's appreciated very much indeed! [Grin.] So, to recap, in the last chapter, I actually had no idea what I was going to do, and then I decided 'hey, let's see what happens when we put a crying and tormented Lucius, sexy but confused Severus and annoyed Draco all in a bedroom.' Naturally, this idea appealed to me. The only problem is...what am I going to do with them now?

The only way for you all to find out is to read it. [Giggles.] Man, I'm going to have so much fun...

Warning: Angst ahoy!


Draco sat on the futon at the end of his father's bed, for the first time noticing just how frail his father truly looked. All those glamour charms, one on top of the other... How could I have missed them? He answered his own question almost immediately, with an odd sort of pride at the thought. It's because he's too good – too quick and too clever for me to have figured it out... If only he was clever enough with other things... Draco sighed, and looked up as his potions-master came into the bedroom from the study, with the glass and bottle of tonic water that Draco had informed him were there.

Severus nodded at his student, "You were right, he took a little 'Beatatis Immortalitus'. And, considering that decanter was obviously full before he started on it, I'd say the only thing to do is wait. He'll still be hallucinating, but it won't have any adverse effect in the long run."

"Are you speaking from experience sir?" Draco asked quietly, looking up to meet the chocolate eyes of his Professor. He was stunned when a slight red blush graced the sallow man's cheeks.

"Alas, I'm afraid I am," he nodded, kneeling down on the floor next to Lucius', and putting the back of his hand to the Malfoy man's forehead. He frowned, and then leant forward in order to lift up Lucius' head. "Could you fill up that glass for me?" he muttered to Draco, who had been watching all of this. The boy started, and tore his eyes away from his prone father, hurrying over to the side table next to Severus to get the bottle and glass. Then, with jerky, yet amazingly precise movements, Draco poured some of the vile liquid into the fine crystal glass, and gave it to Severus.

"Thank you," the raven-haired man nodded, accepting it gratefully. Then, he returned his attention to the Malfoy patriarch, whose brow was furrowed and covered in a sheen of sweat. "Alright Luc, drink this," he commanded softly, raising the glass to the other's lips. Obediently, he opened his mouth, and through natural reflex, swallowed the first mouthful. Then, he spluttered, and frowned deeply, opening his azure eyes to display great displeasure.

"Why do people keep insisting on giving me this vile stuff?" he exploded, breaking loose of Severus' grip, and knocking the glass from his hand. Draco dove in order to catch it, and managed to save the expensive trinket from shattering on the floor. However, his trajectory then led him to knock over his potions master, and land in an undignified heap on the floor. Lucius sat up, and looked down at the two of them quizzically. "What's going on?" It was quite obvious that the drug's effect had now worn off, and his indignation shone through brightly when he found his son lying atop his lover!

Draco blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened...when the floor beneath him suddenly heaved, he scuffled backwards and fell heavily onto his backside, still clutching the glass he had just saved. He looked around to see his father now looking vaguely amused by something behind him, and wondered what was so funny. When he turned around, he understood...

In the tumble the two of them had just taken, Severus had managed to clonk his head against the side table, inducing the still-open bottle of tonic water to fall over and empty it's contents all over his head. He sat up, and swept his sopping jet hair out of his face, looking quite sour. Lucius laughed, startling Draco, who looked back at his father once more. Severus just let out an exasperated sigh, and shuffled back towards the bed, sending a reproachful look in Draco's direction.

"So...would anyone care to explain this to me?" Lucius asked, his eyes following the potions-master, whose robes were becoming sodden with drips from his hair. And, the wetter they became, the more they hugged his form...

"Father, to be frank, I think I deserve an explanation more than you do," Draco interjected, serious once more. He leant on the edge of the bed, putting his chin on his arms, and looking up at Lucius imploringly. His father, finally seeming to realise the proximity of his son, looked down at him with a genuinely fond smile.


"Sev."

"Yes?"

"Think you could go into my study and get me the penseive."

"...Where is it?"

"Third drawer down in my desk – the key is in the box on the windowsill."

"Of course – be right back." Severus got to his feet, and hurried out of the room, perhaps sensing that Lucius would like some time alone with his son. Lucius sat up completely, and then, after a second of interior battle, patted the mattress next to him, inviting Draco to sit. It's about time I explained a few things to him after all... I think he's old enough to know. At least, I hope he is...

He's old enough for other things as well...

Shut the fuck up.

"Father?" Draco prompted, settling lightly on the edge of the bed and looking up at him curiously. Lucius looked at him, taking in his wide grey eyes, filled with worry, and his lined forehead, conveying his dying anger.

"Draco... This is...difficult. I truly don't know where to begin... I... There..." He stopped, and smiled wanly. "I'm not being particularly eloquent, am I?"

"No, not particularly," Draco agreed, a tentative smile gracing his features. It didn't last long though, and his face became serious once more. "I just – I want to know – why you... What made you need to- Oh, bugger it, I'm not doing much better!" he laughed in an exasperated manner, and reached up a hand to scratch the back of his neck. Lucius politely waited for him to continue. "What I'm trying to say – and I'm making a poor job of it too – is why do you do it? The drink and the drugs I mean? It's dangerous!"

Lucius sighed heavily, and caught in the heat of the moment, placed his hand over the one Draco was using to steady himself upon the mattress. "Before I begin, you must understand Draco, that there are many things that can drive people to do wrong. Salazar Slytherin, for example, saw his whole family burnt at the stake by muggles for being of the magical kind; he then went on to try and oust all those of mixed blood from Hogwarts. The Dark Lord knew that his father abandoned his mother when he found out she was a witch, and she then died, leaving him an orphan. That is why he began his campaign..." Lucius looked up at the open window, and Draco stared at his pale face, stunned by the information he was being given.

"And I... I too have reasons for what I have done," Lucius again caught those grey eyes, falling into them and becoming a little lost. He sniffed when he found tears congregating under his eyelids, and squeezed his eyes tightly shut to make them go away. "It's hard, because sometimes I fear I'll make the same terrible misdemeanours as he did. And I never want to do that, because I'd never wish to hurt you." A sob overtook his composed shell, and he was again reduced to the broken mess that had earlier begged Severus to stay with him.

Get a hold of yourself! He deserves to know, and don't you deserve to finally unload this burden once and for all?

What, and warn the boy? Come now, you can still do a memory charm on him and your whore, and then he'll be none the wiser when you-

Shut up! Get the fuck out of my head! I won't. I won't, do you hear me? He froze in terror when the mattress rose again, signifying that Draco had raised himself from the bed. He's going to leave – but he can't, I haven't told him yet. He needs to know abou- His thoughts abruptly halted when a pair of arms circled gently around his neck, and he opened his eyes to find Draco leaning down and hugging him, whispering soothing sounds and shushing him. Lucius realised that he hadn't managed to stem his tears, and had, in fact, been crying before his son.

"Shh, it's all right," Draco murmured, patting him gently on the back. "Just let it out, shh...it's fine now..." Lucius slowly raised his own arms and returned the hug, smiling at the simple comfort it gave him. The hissing voice in his head started to speak, but he managed to flip it off before it succeeded in annoying him further. So, he just enjoyed the embrace, his sobs quieting until they no longer existed. "Better?" Draco asked.

"Much. Thank you," Lucius answered, rather stiffly, as he wasn't sure how one was supposed to deal with these situations. Draco gave him one last squeeze, and the stood up straight again, looking down at him.

"Where do you reckon Professor Snape got to?" he asked, looking over his shoulder to see the doorway still empty. Lucius blinked. Professor Sn-? OH! Sev. He could almost have laughed aloud at his own confusement, but instead just shook his head at his son,

"I don't know... Surely it isn't that difficult to open a drawer..." There was a sudden thud from the study, and father and son looked at one another perplexed. "What was that?"

"I don't know," Draco admitted freely. "Shall I take a look?"

"Hang on, I'll come with you," Lucius said firmly, heaving himself from the bed, and managing to control his 'coming-down' shakes well enough that Draco didn't seem to notice them. He took his wand from his pocket, and went ahead of his son, once more ignoring the dark voice, which was suggesting this would be the perfect opportunity to mimic his father's use of the Imperius curse. He clutched tightly onto the wooden baton, and upon reaching the study door (slightly ajar) stopped, signalling Draco to await him there.

He gently pushed open the door, this time delighted to see that Severus had had enough sense to light the candles when he entered. Why didn't I think of that? He wondered briefly, looking back to make sure that Draco was staying like he had been told to. Draco looked at him, biting his lip nervously, and Lucius forced a reassuring smile. Then, he looked back into the room. Where is he? The penseive was lying on the desk, tendrils of silvery memories trailing over the edge and then dissipating into nothingness.

Severus was nowhere to be seen... "Father? Is everything all right?" Draco called.

"Fine. Just stay there," Lucius called back, advancing into the room, both ears and eyes open in case this was some sort of trick. It could even be that fool Pettigrew, running errands for his Lordship... Though, Lucius doubted that Pettigrew would have been able to think of something quite so advanced as attacking Severus to draw him in here. What would his lordship even want? I sent him the papers days early...

A strangled gasp reached his ears, and he caught sight of a pair of legs sticking out from behind the desk. He hurried over, and pointed his wand down at whoever it was lying prone on the floor. What he saw made him drop his wand altogether, and he backed away, pressing himself against the drinks cabinet and staring in horror.

Severus Snape was lying full length on the floor, a cut on his forehead trickling blood. And, sitting astride him was...he couldn't believe his eyes.

James Potter.

And...the Gryffindor was...Lucius shook his head to try and somehow right the image, but he could not. The Gryffindor was but sixteen or seventeen, and smiling down at Severus with a predatory grin. "Fancy seeing you here," the apparition smirked, trailing a finger down Severus' stunned face, and then leaning down for a claiming kiss.

"What the fuck?" Lucius finally found his voice, and scooped up his wand as James Potter looked around at him. The Gryffindor relinquished the hold he had on the front of Severus' robes and stood up, walking towards Lucius. As he approached, he seemed to change, becoming taller and broader, and his brown eyes softened to a misty grey, black spiky hair lengthening into brown ringlets. Lucius pressed himself harder against the cabinet, unable to move, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He was unable to breath, and let out a terrified yelp as his father (no, you're dead...) reached out for him.

"Grandfather?" Lance paused, looking around and spying Draco standing in the doorway, his wand lazily dangling in his right hand. "Father, what's-?" There was a pop, and Lance disappeared. Lucius looked around, and saw a small white ferret making a beeline for Draco. His son squealed in a rather girlish manner, and ran backwards away from the small mammal.

"Riddikulus!" Severus yelled commandingly, and the ferret disappeared altogether with another pop. Draco stopped, flushing deep crimson when he realised what a sight he must have been, fleeing from the rodent like a young schoolgirl. Ferrets just...eurgh...bad memories. Severus dashed over to Lucius, who was looking at the spot where Lance had been standing not ten seconds before. "Luc... Luc, it was only a boggart! Luc!" he fell upon his last resort, and administered an open-palmed slap to the Malfoy's face.

"Ow!" he cried, coming to, and reaching up a hand to the sore are of his cheek.

"Sorry, but you seemed a little lost to the world," Severus said, apologetically patting him on the shoulder. Lucius stared at him.

"James Potter?"

"What?"

"He's your boggart... I never realised it was that...bad..." he trailed off, realising that Draco was in the room with them. He looked over to the door to see Draco leaning heavily against the doorframe, studying his shoes with great interest, and still blushing deeply. A ferret? Now that's something I didn't expect... He looked back at Severus, who had also taken to studying his shoes. "Hey," he whispered, catching the potions-master's chin, "why didn't you tell me?"

"You had enough to deal with," Severus answered stoutly, nodding to the penseive on the table as if to back himself up. Lucius just sighed, and stood up straight. "Are you still sure you want to tell him?"

"If I don't know, I'm not sure I ever will," Lucius answered, wearily picking up the penseive, which was heavy with memories. It's surprising how much can happen to you in less than forty years... "Draco."

"Y-yes father?" Draco asked tremulously, seemingly still shaken by the boggart.

"Go back into the other room. I'll be out in just a second."

"Of course." Draco left the room, leaving Severus and Lucius alone, to contemplate their painful memories, and timeless fears.

"How many times?"

"What?"

"How many times did he come to you after...?"

"After the astronomy tower, do you mean?" Severus sank into the chair behind the desk, and Lucius peered into his memories. "Six, maybe seven. I didn't do much to stop it... I still cared for him, even after all...that. But, he had his Lily, and I had...well, anyway, better go enlighten your son, eh?" Severus feigned jollity, and made to stand up, but Lucius stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Who did you have?" Lucius asked waveringly, though he feared he knew what the answer was going to be.

"You... But, I was young, presumptuous. I should have realised a Malfoy could never-" Lucius raised a hand, and he stopped talking.

"Had I but known..." Lucius sighed deeply. "Sev, I... I feel terrible. It's been so many years, and I have been unkind and cruel to you, and yet... You still haven't left me. Despite my awful temper and my carelessness, you still love me, don't you?" Severus turned away, and refused to meet his eye. Fuck, why couldn't you have just said 'no'? I... I'm evil... I am my father after all...

"I..." Severus gulped, and Lucius was surprised that he was going to deign to even answer the question. "I – despite all sensibilities...yes." He looked up at Lucius with defiance, as though daring him to contend the matter.

"Oh," Lucius sighed hopelessly. "Sev, I... I just wish... If things had been different, then maybe I-"

"Shh," the raven-haired man reached up a single finger, and placed it upon his lips, silencing him. "I'm not asking for your love. This... This is enough." With that, he stood up, and left the study, going to join the waiting Draco. Lucius let out the breath he had been holding, feeling deflated and useless. But, there are still things that need to be done. So get in there and finish what you started!


Draco looked up at Severus as he walked in, taking note of the dejected slouch of his posture. He watched as Severus sank down slowly into the chair by his father's dressing table, sitting sideways so that he could lean his right arm upon the back, and then place his head upon his arm, lazily looking at the door into the study. I wonder what that was about? He doesn't seem very happy at all!

Following the dark-haired man's lead, he too stared at the door, waiting for his father to come out, explanation in tow.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity (but was, in reality, a nail-biting couple of minutes), Lucius wondered out from the study, penseive cradled carefully in both arms. He was looking down at it with a smile on his face, and Draco was able to catch some of the father he'd known a long time ago. The father from before Hogwarts...before the drugs and the drink and all the pain caught up with him.

I wish it could be like it was again... He used to smile all the time, and we'd play games, and he was happy! Draco sighed, and slipped off of the futon to go over to the coffee table where Lucius had set the penseive down. There was a large sofa and a chair, all in the same black leather, and his father sank into the chair, angling the penseive towards him. Draco took a seat on the end of the sofa nearest to his father, and tried to see what memories he was to be shown. But, it was impossible to see anything from where he sat, so he impatiently waited...


Severus remained where he was, as he had already seen these memories before... He had even witnessed some of them first hand... As such, he didn't really wish to see any of them again. Instead, he studied his lover's face, now knitted in concentration as he obviously sought out the memories that he needed to show the boy. Glancing at his student, he saw that he too had a look of great concentration, focused on his father. Perhaps he's trying to figure things out for himself... I just hope he isn't so scarred by the other Slytherins that he could come up with something even close to the truth...

Finally, Lucius seemed to find what he was looking for, and he tapped his wand on the side of the penseive in order to 'hold onto' the set of memories. Then, he leant forward to engage Draco in one of the most difficult conversations he had ever had to go through in his life. Severus watched, ready to rush to comfort the Malfoy patriarch if he needed to.

"Now, Draco, remember what I told you about there being a reason for everything?" Draco nodded. "Well, my reason is...is one of a delicate nature... Which is why I'm using this penseive to help me tell you. There are some things it's just too painful to talk about at times. So... I'm afraid most of the talking is going to be done by this," Lucius indicated the penseive with a wave of his hand.

"Is it something to do with grandfather?" the boy asked, astutely picking up on the form of his father's boggart. Severus was impressed. I very much doubt that even Miss Hermione Granger would have made that connection so swiftly. (Despite his dislike of the girl, he did admit to himself that she was indeed a most talented witch.) Lucius shied away from the word as though it burned, but didn't flee as the potions-master had supposed he would.

"Yes, it is," Lucius nodded. "Do you remember anything about him?"

"Not much – I was only three when he died, wasn't I?"

"Yes... Dear God. I can't believe it's been nearly thirteen years now..." The Malfoy patriarch lowered his eyes to stare at his hands, which were twisting in his lap. "What do you remember?"

Draco screwed up his eyes, obviously finding it difficult to sort out the memories that toddlers gain. "Urm... I remember that he shouted a lot. And – uh – he didn't seem to like mother much. Nor me for that matter." Lucius nodded.

"No, he never did take to you. It's a sad fact, but a true one. He felt I was spending too much time with you, and not enough with him – it made him rather jealous."

"Jealous? But, why? I would have thought he'd be happy – a Malfoy heir and all that," Draco said this with a touch of bitterness, and was surprised when his father laughed. He had been expecting a reprimand, not an agreement.

"It seems you understand the fickle ways of the rich even better than I thought you did, son." Lucius chuckled some more, and Severus knew that if this carried on, he would get hysterical. Thankfully, Lucius calmed quickly. "Yes, well... At first, he was pleased that you were a boy. In his own words 'it means that I won't have to bloody well see my fortune ripped away by McNair's little brat!'"

"McNair?"

"Yes... Every rich magical family in Europe has a designated group of families to which children shall be wed. It was intended that you should marry Pansy Parkinson-" Draco gasped, and was about to say something, but Lucius continued to speak, not allowing him to get a word in. "Don't worry, I'll not be enforcing that – it's one of the things I never agreed with about this ridiculous life. You didn't ask to be born into this, so I see that it stands to reason that you shouldn't have to go along with it." He took a deep breath, and smiled tightly at Draco.

"So...why didn't Grandfather like me then?"

"Well, as I said, he felt that I spent too much time with you. He was...neglected. So, he turned to drink – don't give me that look!" From where he was sitting, Severus could see that Draco had quirked an eyebrow accusatively at his father. Lucius sighed heavily, "Please, just let me get on with it?"

"Alright... So, Grandfather wanted you to spend more time with him – got it."

"If only it were quite that simple," Lucius muttered.

"Well then, what?"

"...Well, the only way to really explain it, is to go back to when I was your age," Lucius began, his words coming out haltingly. "It was around that time that the Dark Lord was really beginning to show his power... I don't know how my father knew him, but he started to lend funds to the cause. Of course, he wouldn't take the mark, as Malfoy's aren't supposed to get their hands dirty... But, he was well liked because of his great amounts of money, and I was destined to take over the task of running the finances after he died.

"I didn't want this – I felt annoyed that he would presume that he could tell me what to do. When I started Hogwarts, he wasn't too involved, but, by fifth year, it was difficult for a day to go by without hearing about death eaters. Over the years, I became a lot closer to my mother (your Grandmother, though you never knew her. She died before you were born.) We gathered together bits of muggle things – a stereo, television, records, those kinds of things..." Lucius paused, and smiled at the happy memory.

"Of course, we had to keep these hidden away, because your Grandfather disliked muggles a great deal. So, we used one of the cellars to hide away in."

"Which one?" Draco asked, now leaning so far forward that Severus found it amazing he was still managing to stay upon the seat.

"You wouldn't know it – it's bricked up. But, perhaps one day I'll show you..." Lucius said, half-promising. "However, back to what I was saying... We kept all these things down there, and he didn't find out about them. At least, not until the Christmas of my sixth year. That was when he discovered my mother and I, after tricking us into believing he had left the manor."

"What happened?" Draco queried, now obviously deeply enthralled by the whole story. Severus couldn't blame him... After all the years he had known Lucius, he had been most keen to discover his secrets. And, when Lucius had finally divulged all, Severus could remember that he too had been upon the edge of his seat.

"Well, he destroyed it. The whole room. After that, I spent most of my time outside, in order to escape his anger. He...he..." Severus quickly got up, and went to stand behind Lucius, placing a comforting pair of hands on his shoulders.

"It's alright. Carry on," Severus prompted. Lucius inhaled sharply, and nodded.

"Yes... Well, he acted in a very violent manner towards my mother – at one point, he succeeded in breaking her leg, he was so angry. I tried to get her to tell someone, to leave the manor, but she wouldn't have any of it. Didn't want people to think she had a 'bad husband', and that she'd chosen wrongly... Damn pride..."

"Hey, calm down Luc," Severus whispered, looking over the older Malfoy's head to see the face of the younger, which was paler than usual.

"God, I can't!" Lucius burst out.

"You have to!" Severus said sternly, preventing Lucius from evacuating his seat and fleeing the room. "Just take a few seconds, and then carry on, OK?" Lucius nodded, and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he steadied his breathing. "Better now?"

"Yes." Lucius looked back at Draco, who offered him a warm, concerned smile. "Now, on one such occasion when your Grandfather was home, I was already outside, playing in the snow and making a general fool of myself," the black-haired potions-master snorted at this, and Lucius scowled good-naturedly at him. "Well, anyway, there I was, attempting to build a snowman, when, all of a sudden, wham! Someone chucked a snowball at the side of my head. It caught me off guard, so I ended up falling over, and ruining what I'd managed to do of the snowman so far.

"It was my dad. It was pretty odd – he seemed to be just as he had been before he'd gotten mixed up with The Dark Lord. And, well, young idiot that I was, I wanted to believe that everything was all right again. We had a brief (but brutal) snowball fight, and then went back inside to warm up and get changed...

"It was then, that... That it all started. I... I don't think I can talk about this. I'll be in the study – Draco, come over here and watch this." Draco didn't move. "Draco?"

"Only if you promise me – give me your word – that you won't consume anything, alcoholic or illegal, whilst you're in there." Severus contained a laugh at the role-reversal before him. Lucius cast a guilty look to the floor, whilst Draco stubbornly glared at him.

"On my life, I won't," Lucius said sombrely, pushing the penseive towards Draco, and getting up to go to the study. "Sev – come with me. I... I don't want to be alone at the moment. Draco, will you be alright in here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. How does this work?"

"Press the button on the base – it's in the right place," Lucius answered wearily, darting into the office so that he wouldn't have to see the memories starting up again. Severus followed at a more sedate pace, pausing in the study doorway to look at Lucius, who had collapsed in his soft chair, and was shaking like a leaf.

"Oh, Luc," he walked over and sat on the floor next to the chair, resting his head upon Lucius' lap. "It'll be fine... And, well, at least you've done it. The hardest part is over."

"I wish I could believe that Sev. I really do."


Artistic license for Snape's boggart, because, in my opinion, when you look at the chapter 'Snape's Worst Memory', it seems to imply that the boggart would be his father. But, well, I wanted to change that to make it a little more interesting...

Again, the name of the drug ('Beatatis Immortalitus') was nonsense in Latin. Both of them mean 'beautiful' in one sense or another. To roughly translate, I'd say the drug was called 'Beautiful Immortality', as a sort of joke, because it would make the taker less than beautiful, and would most certainly shorten their lifespan. I'm weird... I know.

Chapter was a bitch to write. The boggart was just something random thrown in, because I wanted to show a little more of Lucius/Severus past. Now, however, we get to see Draco's reaction. Meep. That's going to be even harder to write! Stupid, stupid ideas of mine!

Anyway, lots of love from me, canihavea-soda.

Special thanks to Sandy Girvan, because she loves my devious mind. [Giggles.] I'm loved!

PS: I don't know about anyone else, but don't you just love vulnerable!Lucius. It's...in my head...the most adorable thing ever.