"Hey, Griss. I wanted to give you this personally," Nick said as he walked into my office. His head was hung low. I already knew what was in the envelope. It was the same thing that I had been given by Greg only a few months earlier.
Four months after leaving, Sara called Greg. She needed his help in San Francisco. Sara had been chasing a serial rapist for three months. Sara said she needed his eyes in her lab. Yes, her lab. It didn't come as a shock to me. Sara was tenacious. She went after criminals with a passion that I felt fading inside myself. Sara was readily promoted to night shift coordinator. Within a few months, Sara had already been promoted to where I stood spinning my wheels.
Greg came back from San Francisco different. He couldn't stop talking about how different it was there. He would reminisce about when 'we all got along.' Greg gave me his letter of resignation two weeks later. He said that he was going to San Francisco. I warned him about chasing a girl. Greg said it wasn't about that. It was about the 'vibe' of Sara's crew. Greg said that he felt alive when he was there . . . the determination there brought out the best in everyone. Greg said they worked as a team. Each person was just as important as the next. The only thing that distinguished Sara from the rest of the team was that she did more paperwork . . . she said she wasn't any better than her CSI level two team members. I heard this about her lab. It was the third best in the country . . . it was a threat to me.
Nick saw Sara and Greg six months after that. They all wound up giving presentations at a convention in Vegas. I was in the background watching Nicky. I was proud of him. It was his first solo presentation on a case that he had taken on by himself. I went to Sara's talk. I hid in the background. I wanted to observe her. She looked so different. She looked happy. Sara and Greg gave the presentation . . . they credited their entire team for all the hard work put into the serial rapist case. Everyone's name was cited on the PowerPoint. I never did that for my team. I suddenly felt inadequate as a leader. I felt selfish. I wondered if I had stunted the growth of the lab I had created.
Two weeks later, Nick was in San Francisco helping Greg and Sara investigate why a passenger plane fell from the sky without warning. I let him go. There was no way I could say no. Nick was excited. There was this glimmer of happiness in his eyes. He came back the same way Greg did. Nick couldn't stop talking about how great Sara's lab was. Nick couldn't stop talking about how everyone got to work in the field and how everyone also had a strong commitment to their work in the lab. Everything was divided equally.
Nick struggled through his return to my lab. He complained to Warrick about how I always did the press conferences. In San Francisco, he did two press conferences, Sara did two press conferences, and Greg did three press conferences. Catherine said that I ran a tight ship. She said she was satisfied in her job. I assume this is only because Catherine and Sara never got along. Loyal Catherine. I needed her now more than ever.
"Nicky, what can I do to get you to stay?" I asked as I held the sealed envelop in my hands . . . I played with the corners. He didn't make eye contact with me. Nicky stared at my forehead. He smiled.
"Sorry. I think it's time that I moved on," Nicky said. I knew it hurt him to say that. It hurt me to hear that. I had stunted the growth of my team. I had sabotaged them by punishing them for my feelings for Sara. It was hard to watch my family fall apart.
"Did Sara offer you a job?" I asked.
"No, I asked if she had an opening," Nicky replied. My chest tightened. I wondered where everything began to go so wrong.
"How much longer will you stay for?" I asked.
"Two weeks. It should give you time to at least have a recruit on the way," Nicky replied.
"Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for staying with me as long as you did," I replied . . . I was at a loss as to what to say to conceal my hurt.
"You taught me a lot," Nick said as he walked out of my office.
Nick had fulfilled his two week obligation to my lab. I watch him wait outside the doors with Catherine and Warrick. I remember this scene from when Greg left. Nick said he's been living out of a suitcase for three days. Sara arranged to have his personal items moved to his new apartment overlooking the bay. The three talk while waiting; avoiding uncomfortable good-byes. I can't bring myself to leave the confines of my office. I feel glued to my chair.
Just like last time, a shiny, black suburban pulls into the parking lot. It stops right in front of the three. Greg, Sara, and another male crawl out of the vehicle. Sara and Greg hug Nick. They greet Catherine and Warrick . . . they introduce their traveling companion. Sara hands Nick the keys to his government vehicle.
I stand up. I make the journey to the parking lot. The sun is creeping over the horizon. I need to say good-bye. I feel compelled to apologize to Nick . . . to Greg . . . to Sara. I know I have a lot to apologize for.
"If you're ever in Vegas, man . . .," I hear Warrick say to Nick.
"If you're ever in San Francisco," Nick replies smiling. Part of me wishes that this would be a harder decision for Nick. I know it is hard for Catherine and Warrick. They are the final two to stick with me. They have watched two people leave and do great things that Warrick and Catherine have a hard time imagining. Now, they are watching their friend leave . . . a fresh face that they have watched mature and grow since coming to Vegas. I cared for him like a son. It's agonizing to see him so happy about leaving the nest.
"Nick, good luck," I say as I walk through the crowd. I shake his hand. I can see the tears begin to form in his eyes, "You will do great things, but always remember where you came from."
The simple statement I have made seems to have a huge impact on Sara, Greg, and Nick. Nick hugs me. He says that he knows I will also be doing great things. I'm not sure if he even believes what he is saying.
Warrick, Catherine, and I stand in the parking lot. We watch Sara, Greg, and Evan load the last of Nick's personal items into the back of the Suburban. Nick finishes his good byes. They all pile into the vehicle. Nick is driving . . . they are deciding where to have breakfast before embarking on their journey 'home.' The conversation puts a fatal wound in Catherine's armor. She begins to cry . . . the tears roll down her face.
"Sara, Greg, Nicky . . . drive safe. I hope you make it home okay," I say as I wave to them. Something in Sara softens. I can see the tears in her eyes. I wonder if she can see the tears in my eyes. I have never felt lower in my entire life.
