Chapter 7
They kept running until they reached the Creevey's, were up the stairs and
Colin collapsed exhaustedly on Dennis' bed. Dennis slammed the door shut behind
them and, for a moment, there was no other sound but heavy panting. "Please-
Agnes," Colin heaved, "tell-us-is that-NORMAL-for---muggle-police-men?"
"No," Agnes wheezed. "No," she put her head down between her knees for a
moment to catch her breath. "That was just him-just that one. I was-unfortunate-
enough to have had a run in with him last month---while role-playing with some
friends."
"That's just our luck," Dennis said, irritably flopping down into his jar,
"that we should run into the one who's channeling Argus Filch. And, mate, we
have to start running more or else we're never going to make it through
Quidditch practice."
Colin decided to ignore his last comment. "Yeah, I wondered who he
reminded me of," then he added for Agnes' benefit, "He's the caretaker at
Hogwarts."
"And a real git, too, if you even put one muddy footprint on the floor,"
Dennis drew his finger across his throat, "it's more than your life's worth."
"I imagine that keeps the floor pretty clean," Agnes mused.
Colin and Dennis looked at each other and broke into laughter. "Yeah,
sure, would that we were concerned with what Filch threatens us," Dennis
answered.
"Exactly. Right now, we only have one course of action," Colin added, "We
need to get back into that park."
"Oh, no, uh uh," Agnes frowned at them. "I'm sorry, but baiting Bobbies
isn't my idea of fun. The less I have to do with them, the better. Last time I
got in trouble with that one my mother had a fit. And you do not want to see her
have a fit."
"Oh come on Agnes! It's not like we really have a choice," Dennis pressed.
"We have to practice Quidditch!"
"Yeah, and I have to make sure my mum never finds out how close I came to
getting arrested today! Look, you've got a garden."
"--Where we can run three feet in either direction before we hit a wall!"
Colin was about to break into their little debate (on Dennis' side, of
course) when he noticed a thick piece of parchment with green writing on it.
"When did our Hogwarts' letters arrive?" He asked Dennis.
"Oh, yesterday. Must have forgotten to tell you."
"Yeah, must have." He tore his open and glanced through it. A thought
occurred to him as he did so. "I imagine we'll have to make another trip to
Diagon Alley," he gave Dennis a meaningful look.
"Absolutely. I need some new robes. Mine only go about down to my knees
now-"
"I mean," he tried again but Agnes interrupted him.
"Diagon Alley? What's that?"
"It's the wizarding shopping center, where we get all our school
supplies," Dennis told her.
"Ooh brilliant! When're we going?"
Now feeling quite irritated that no one was following his train of
thought, Colin snapped at her. "We are going, you are not. Diagon Alley is
muggle-impenetrable. That means that even if you try to get in there with us,
you won't be able to."
"You'd suddenly remember you had a dentist appointment or something,"
Dennis added with a grin.
Agnes, however, was highly un-amused. "That's mean."
"Oh, stop with the wounded muggle act, Agnes," Colin told her. "They have
to do something to keep the Muggles out. You don't want to see witch burnings
again, do you?"
"No," she replied stiffly, "but it just seems silly. I mean, what happens
if your parents aren't magical? Your parents didn't just let you wander down
there alone, did they?"
"Of course not. They're allowed to come with us-I imagine the Ministry
makes exceptions for some," Colin said, "but they wouldn't make one for you. If
they found out you knew anything, you'd get a mind wipe faster than you can say
'Obliviate.'" She harrumphed unhappily. "But that doesn't matter," he went on,
"These letters arrived at just the right time." He gave Dennis another
meaningful look. "I think it's time we paid some of our favorite former
Gryffindors a visit."
Dennis' face was blank for a moment, and then slowly, a look of
enlightenment and understanding filled it. "You don't mean-" Colin nodded and
Dennis a feral grin spread across his face. "Weasley Wizard Wheezes!" The broke
into cackles and Agnes sat there, looking worriedly at Colin, then at Dennis.
Finally, she burst out, "Will someone please tell me what a Weasley Wizard
Wheeze is?" But this only made them laugh more. She glared at them for a while
and they finally managed to pull themselves together. "Whew, it's," Dennis
tried, "oh you tell her Colin," he said, wiping his eyes.
"It's a joke shop two former Hogwarts' students opened. I bet that Fred
and George would be more than pleased to help us with our Filchian problem."
"But I thought you weren't allowed to do magic outside of school."
"Oh we aren't and we won't," he assured her. "All we really need is some
way to alert us when that constable comes around on his patrol. I don't doubt
that they could help us with that. And if it should involve a few things blowing
up, well, that's just the way things are."
"So while you two are in Diagon Alley taking care of that, what do I do?
Sit here and keep the hearth warm?"
"Yeah, that's it," Dennis told her, shaking out his money stash and
counting it.
"You can go back to the park, if you want, to keep on eye on things and
see how often he comes around," Colin told her in an attempt to sooth any
ruffled feathers.
"And you'll be shopping?"
"Yes."
"While I do a stakeout?"
"Hmm hmm."
"My, this does sound like role reversal."
"Oh, come now, we'll only be gone a day. It's not like we're asking you to
plot the routes of every policeman in own."
Dennis scooped some Galleons into his pocket. "But you can if you want
to."
"I don't."
"It probably won't even be necessary," Colin reassured her. "We just want
to have this work out to perfection.
Agnes sighed. "Are you guys SURE there's no other place we could
practice?"
"Yes!"
They kept running until they reached the Creevey's, were up the stairs and
Colin collapsed exhaustedly on Dennis' bed. Dennis slammed the door shut behind
them and, for a moment, there was no other sound but heavy panting. "Please-
Agnes," Colin heaved, "tell-us-is that-NORMAL-for---muggle-police-men?"
"No," Agnes wheezed. "No," she put her head down between her knees for a
moment to catch her breath. "That was just him-just that one. I was-unfortunate-
enough to have had a run in with him last month---while role-playing with some
friends."
"That's just our luck," Dennis said, irritably flopping down into his jar,
"that we should run into the one who's channeling Argus Filch. And, mate, we
have to start running more or else we're never going to make it through
Quidditch practice."
Colin decided to ignore his last comment. "Yeah, I wondered who he
reminded me of," then he added for Agnes' benefit, "He's the caretaker at
Hogwarts."
"And a real git, too, if you even put one muddy footprint on the floor,"
Dennis drew his finger across his throat, "it's more than your life's worth."
"I imagine that keeps the floor pretty clean," Agnes mused.
Colin and Dennis looked at each other and broke into laughter. "Yeah,
sure, would that we were concerned with what Filch threatens us," Dennis
answered.
"Exactly. Right now, we only have one course of action," Colin added, "We
need to get back into that park."
"Oh, no, uh uh," Agnes frowned at them. "I'm sorry, but baiting Bobbies
isn't my idea of fun. The less I have to do with them, the better. Last time I
got in trouble with that one my mother had a fit. And you do not want to see her
have a fit."
"Oh come on Agnes! It's not like we really have a choice," Dennis pressed.
"We have to practice Quidditch!"
"Yeah, and I have to make sure my mum never finds out how close I came to
getting arrested today! Look, you've got a garden."
"--Where we can run three feet in either direction before we hit a wall!"
Colin was about to break into their little debate (on Dennis' side, of
course) when he noticed a thick piece of parchment with green writing on it.
"When did our Hogwarts' letters arrive?" He asked Dennis.
"Oh, yesterday. Must have forgotten to tell you."
"Yeah, must have." He tore his open and glanced through it. A thought
occurred to him as he did so. "I imagine we'll have to make another trip to
Diagon Alley," he gave Dennis a meaningful look.
"Absolutely. I need some new robes. Mine only go about down to my knees
now-"
"I mean," he tried again but Agnes interrupted him.
"Diagon Alley? What's that?"
"It's the wizarding shopping center, where we get all our school
supplies," Dennis told her.
"Ooh brilliant! When're we going?"
Now feeling quite irritated that no one was following his train of
thought, Colin snapped at her. "We are going, you are not. Diagon Alley is
muggle-impenetrable. That means that even if you try to get in there with us,
you won't be able to."
"You'd suddenly remember you had a dentist appointment or something,"
Dennis added with a grin.
Agnes, however, was highly un-amused. "That's mean."
"Oh, stop with the wounded muggle act, Agnes," Colin told her. "They have
to do something to keep the Muggles out. You don't want to see witch burnings
again, do you?"
"No," she replied stiffly, "but it just seems silly. I mean, what happens
if your parents aren't magical? Your parents didn't just let you wander down
there alone, did they?"
"Of course not. They're allowed to come with us-I imagine the Ministry
makes exceptions for some," Colin said, "but they wouldn't make one for you. If
they found out you knew anything, you'd get a mind wipe faster than you can say
'Obliviate.'" She harrumphed unhappily. "But that doesn't matter," he went on,
"These letters arrived at just the right time." He gave Dennis another
meaningful look. "I think it's time we paid some of our favorite former
Gryffindors a visit."
Dennis' face was blank for a moment, and then slowly, a look of
enlightenment and understanding filled it. "You don't mean-" Colin nodded and
Dennis a feral grin spread across his face. "Weasley Wizard Wheezes!" The broke
into cackles and Agnes sat there, looking worriedly at Colin, then at Dennis.
Finally, she burst out, "Will someone please tell me what a Weasley Wizard
Wheeze is?" But this only made them laugh more. She glared at them for a while
and they finally managed to pull themselves together. "Whew, it's," Dennis
tried, "oh you tell her Colin," he said, wiping his eyes.
"It's a joke shop two former Hogwarts' students opened. I bet that Fred
and George would be more than pleased to help us with our Filchian problem."
"But I thought you weren't allowed to do magic outside of school."
"Oh we aren't and we won't," he assured her. "All we really need is some
way to alert us when that constable comes around on his patrol. I don't doubt
that they could help us with that. And if it should involve a few things blowing
up, well, that's just the way things are."
"So while you two are in Diagon Alley taking care of that, what do I do?
Sit here and keep the hearth warm?"
"Yeah, that's it," Dennis told her, shaking out his money stash and
counting it.
"You can go back to the park, if you want, to keep on eye on things and
see how often he comes around," Colin told her in an attempt to sooth any
ruffled feathers.
"And you'll be shopping?"
"Yes."
"While I do a stakeout?"
"Hmm hmm."
"My, this does sound like role reversal."
"Oh, come now, we'll only be gone a day. It's not like we're asking you to
plot the routes of every policeman in own."
Dennis scooped some Galleons into his pocket. "But you can if you want
to."
"I don't."
"It probably won't even be necessary," Colin reassured her. "We just want
to have this work out to perfection.
Agnes sighed. "Are you guys SURE there's no other place we could
practice?"
"Yes!"
