Chapter 8
Diagon Alley. Colin closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the bricks
moved and shifted aside to form the welcoming arch. This was the fifth time he'd
done this but he never tired of it. A breeze ruffled his hair and he opened his
eyes and the four of them waded into the bustling crowds along with Dennis and
his parents. It was Saturday and that meant that the Alley was three times as
crowded as it usually was. Colin would have preferred to go the day after their
letters arrived but his parents were intent on coming with them. They had gone
with Colin each year and each year, their fascination with the place increased
and they were interested in everything.
Colin hoped to lose them in the bookstore, which just happened to be their first
stop. As Dennis liked to say, "Get the unpleasant tasks out of the way first,"
and new textbooks were high on that list, meaning homework and hours of future
misery for all students. Fortunately, it didn't take too long. Besides the books
for Dennis' new classes, they only really needed new defense books and The
Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5 for Colin. Dennis could use all of Colin's old
books for everything else. By the time they had purchased them, Mr. Creevey was
well immersed in Muggle Machinery: Managing without Magic and Mrs. Creevey was
attempting to read Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pets but the miniature
Lockharts kept distracting her by waving and winking roguishly.
"Now's our chance," Colin murmured to Dennis, handing him the bad of
books. He cautiously approached his father. "Hey, Dad." Mr. Creevey didn't take
his eyes off the book to reply. "Hmm?"
"We need to go to some other shops now. We need knew robes, some potions
ingredients, that sort of thing. D'you and Mum want to go or..." he trailed off
as his father started rummaging through his pockets, eyes still on the book and
handed him the stash of wizarding money they'd exchanged. back when
you're finished."
Colin grinned, thanked him and vanished out of the shop with Dennis in
tow. They did need some new robes and they went there next, then the
apothecary's for potions. Colin begrudgingly handed over a good portion of their
money and took his ingredients. "Snape is not worth that much money," he told
Dennis grimly. Dennis didn't answer. "Dennis?" He glanced around but Dennis was
nowhere to be found. Typical. Turn your back for one moment and Dennis was gone.
His younger brother was standing in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, mouth
wide open, staring at some Quidditch brooms hanging in the window. "Cleansweeps.
On clearance." He held his moneybag up in the air. "I think I have just enough
to buy it-"
"And have no money left over for anything else," Colin reminded him.
"That's all your allowance for months. You have a good enough broom," Dennis
looked at them longingly. "Come on, we have bigger fish to fry. Besides, you owe
me money for potions ingredients," he prodded and pulled Dennis away from the
window.
Truth to tell, Colin wasn't all that manic about Quidditch. Sure, he liked it.
Everyone liked it but he wasn't a Get-Together-With-Your-Mates-And-Stand-Half-
Naked-With-GRYFFINDOR-Painted-on-the-Chests fan but if he managed to get a spot
on the house team, all the better, especially if Harry made captain. Dennis had
the drive on this issue; Dennis had the passion to get out there everyday and
practice until he dropped. The only thing Colin could feel that way about was
photography. Everything else was the result of too many "whys" and too few "why
nots."
They walked down the alley, eyes sweeping up and down the buildings,
looking for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
Then it happened.
Colin had heard of it happening but this was the first time it had ever
happened to him. It seemed like the sky cleared and a ray of light shot down
from the sky, beaming down on a building and enshrining it in golden light. The
building itself was fairly narrow, painted a dark red. Gold lettering running
above the window and door read "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" and so great was its
beauty that Colin had to force himself to keep walking and not stop in the
street staring at it with an absent look on his face. They approached it
dreamily and pushed open the front door. It opened with a pleasant twinkling
sound and they were inside.
The store was not dank, dusty or odorous like other stores in Diagon
Alley. Nor was it clean and overloaded with goods. Instead, it was bright and
rows of shelves filled with fun, dangerous looking things ran up and down the
stores length. The first thing they saw was a stack of large catalogs sitting on
a counter with a sign next to them reading "Take one." Dennis did and began to
leaf through it, hungrily. "I'll just walk around and see if there's anything
that can help us," Colin said eagerly. It looked as though the Weasley brothers
had put their early departure from Hogwarts to good use. While he had gotten a
pretty good idea of the extent of Fred and George's inventory at Hogwarts, the
store showed exactly what creative thinking and hours spent in History of Magic
could do. He was surrounded by the old classics-Ton Tongue Toffees, fake wands,
and Canary Creams. Skiving lunchboxes were on special for Hogwarts students: the
image of a student thoroughly enjoying himself while his classmates languished
in boredom was pinned up on an advertisement board. Colin passed by them and
smiled, remembering how Dennis had bravely (foolishly) volunteered to be the
only second year test subject. He'd thrown up for about thirty minutes,
eventually he descended into dry heaves but Dennis still insisted the money more
than made up for the puking.
Colin frowned as he passed a row of books stuffed into a bookshelf. They
looked like the Hogwarts textbooks sold in Flourish and Blotts and Colin pulled
one out, wondering what exactly they were doing in this store. The copy he had
was One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi and it was for sale. In a store owned
by the Weasley's. "You have to tap it with your wand and say 'Oblivion,'" a
helpful voice told him and Colin jumped and turned around. Standing behind him
and grinning proudly was one of the Weasley twins.
"Alright," Colin said nervously and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He
tapped it and the inside font changed from descriptions of herbs to the colorful
drawings of "Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle?" Colin said in amazement.
The twin smiled proudly. "Of course, this is just the original sub-story.
The publishers of "Martin Miggs" paid us a nice sum to put a sampling issue in
it. Once you buy it, it can naturally be replaced with anything you'd rather be
reading."
"Anything can be hidden in there? That's ingenious, Weasley." When in
doubt, use the last name.
"Thank you," he said, giving a modest bow. "You can only imagine how the
History of Magic books have been flying off the shelves-"
"Really? Why? Binns would never notice if the whole class got up and
started to jig, much less read a different book."
Weasley laughed. "I don't ask; I just sell."
"Well, it's a good idea anyway, and you could bet I'd be getting one for
potions if I didn't think it was more than my life is worth to be caught not
paying attention in there."
Fred/George looked aghast. "You mean, you're not here to empty your money bag?"
Colin smiled grimly. "I didn't say that. As it happens, Dennis and I are here to
see if you have anything to help us deal with a filchian problem."
The twin looked impressed. "You've managed to irritate Filch during the
holidays? Well done, Creevey."
"Er, actually, no. We've irritated his muggle counterpart."
Now he looked very impressed. "Oh, now that's intriguing. Come on up front and
let's see if we can't help you out." They weaved back through the tall shelves
and reached the front counter where Dennis was crouched on a stool, voraciously
reading through the catalog. "Don't drool on it, younger Creevey, or else you'll
have to buy it. Oy, Fred!" George (now Colin knew) shouted.
"Just a sec...having problems with the-Ow! I'll be right there!" His voice
sounded a bit panicked but George smiled benignly and leaned against the
counter. Finally Fred appeared from behind the booth, flicking his hand in the
air and grimacing. Then he looked up and saw the two of them standing there and
all signs of pain vanished and a smile appeared. "Aha! More young deviants from
Hogwarts. How may we corrupt you today?"
"Well, we'll start with the dungbombs," Dennis said in a faraway voice, still
lost within the catalog, "then maybe the professional box of fireworks-"
Colin interrupted him impatiently. "No, we don't need that. We need your
advice." He leaned in over the counter. "We need a way to distract a muggle
policeman who seems to be channeling Filch and that is without magic and without
cluing anyone onto what we're doing."
Fred looked fascinated. "An alarm of sorts, you mean?"
"Yes, just to give us enough time to get away so we can keep practicing
Quidditch."
"Are you two going to try out for the team this year?" George asked.
Dennis beamed and turned the page in the catalog. "Yes, for beaters."
"Ah. Well, best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll do fine. Then again, anyone
would be fine over the two useless beaters whom we shall not name we had on our
team last year." All four of them cringed at the memory. Gryffindor's final
victory had been nothing short of a miracle and the games still gave them bangs
of misery and embarrassment.
"We've been trying to get in form all summer but we seem to have irritated the
local law enforcement," Colin told them. "He is determined to arrest us or at
the very least, kick us out of the park."
Fred tsked. "Muggles. They have no understanding of the importance of
Quidditch."
"Hmm," George rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then swiped the catalog away from
Dennis and flipped to the back, where he had a sort of index. He read quietly
for a few minutes and the others looked on. Fred rubbed the fingers of his right
hand absentmindedly. After a few minutes, George closed the book with a thump.
"Well, there's nothing in there that you could use, especially if you want to do
this without using underage magic. Look, we'll sleep on it for a while and let
you know if we come up with anything, okay?" He paused. Colin and Dennis gave
their agreement and George went on. "Excellent. In the meantime, any orders you
would like to place would be -appreciated." The twins looked at Dennis and Colin
expectantly and Colin knew what they meant. As they say, one hand washes the
other. He pulled out his moneybag. "I'll take a couple of Headless Hats and
Canary Creams-"
They met up with their parents at Fortesque's an hour and many galleons later,
their arms filled with all sorts of goodies guaranteed to make Agnes' head spin.
Admittedly, that had been Colin's motivation when buying most of the objects. He
thought of her turning into a bright yellow canary, grinned maliciously and took
a large bite of his ice cream sundae in order to hide it. They hadn't achieved
their main objective in going to Diagon alley but tomorrow was another day. One
Colin found himself looking forward to immensely.
Diagon Alley. Colin closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the bricks
moved and shifted aside to form the welcoming arch. This was the fifth time he'd
done this but he never tired of it. A breeze ruffled his hair and he opened his
eyes and the four of them waded into the bustling crowds along with Dennis and
his parents. It was Saturday and that meant that the Alley was three times as
crowded as it usually was. Colin would have preferred to go the day after their
letters arrived but his parents were intent on coming with them. They had gone
with Colin each year and each year, their fascination with the place increased
and they were interested in everything.
Colin hoped to lose them in the bookstore, which just happened to be their first
stop. As Dennis liked to say, "Get the unpleasant tasks out of the way first,"
and new textbooks were high on that list, meaning homework and hours of future
misery for all students. Fortunately, it didn't take too long. Besides the books
for Dennis' new classes, they only really needed new defense books and The
Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5 for Colin. Dennis could use all of Colin's old
books for everything else. By the time they had purchased them, Mr. Creevey was
well immersed in Muggle Machinery: Managing without Magic and Mrs. Creevey was
attempting to read Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pets but the miniature
Lockharts kept distracting her by waving and winking roguishly.
"Now's our chance," Colin murmured to Dennis, handing him the bad of
books. He cautiously approached his father. "Hey, Dad." Mr. Creevey didn't take
his eyes off the book to reply. "Hmm?"
"We need to go to some other shops now. We need knew robes, some potions
ingredients, that sort of thing. D'you and Mum want to go or..." he trailed off
as his father started rummaging through his pockets, eyes still on the book and
handed him the stash of wizarding money they'd exchanged. back when
you're finished."
Colin grinned, thanked him and vanished out of the shop with Dennis in
tow. They did need some new robes and they went there next, then the
apothecary's for potions. Colin begrudgingly handed over a good portion of their
money and took his ingredients. "Snape is not worth that much money," he told
Dennis grimly. Dennis didn't answer. "Dennis?" He glanced around but Dennis was
nowhere to be found. Typical. Turn your back for one moment and Dennis was gone.
His younger brother was standing in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, mouth
wide open, staring at some Quidditch brooms hanging in the window. "Cleansweeps.
On clearance." He held his moneybag up in the air. "I think I have just enough
to buy it-"
"And have no money left over for anything else," Colin reminded him.
"That's all your allowance for months. You have a good enough broom," Dennis
looked at them longingly. "Come on, we have bigger fish to fry. Besides, you owe
me money for potions ingredients," he prodded and pulled Dennis away from the
window.
Truth to tell, Colin wasn't all that manic about Quidditch. Sure, he liked it.
Everyone liked it but he wasn't a Get-Together-With-Your-Mates-And-Stand-Half-
Naked-With-GRYFFINDOR-Painted-on-the-Chests fan but if he managed to get a spot
on the house team, all the better, especially if Harry made captain. Dennis had
the drive on this issue; Dennis had the passion to get out there everyday and
practice until he dropped. The only thing Colin could feel that way about was
photography. Everything else was the result of too many "whys" and too few "why
nots."
They walked down the alley, eyes sweeping up and down the buildings,
looking for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
Then it happened.
Colin had heard of it happening but this was the first time it had ever
happened to him. It seemed like the sky cleared and a ray of light shot down
from the sky, beaming down on a building and enshrining it in golden light. The
building itself was fairly narrow, painted a dark red. Gold lettering running
above the window and door read "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" and so great was its
beauty that Colin had to force himself to keep walking and not stop in the
street staring at it with an absent look on his face. They approached it
dreamily and pushed open the front door. It opened with a pleasant twinkling
sound and they were inside.
The store was not dank, dusty or odorous like other stores in Diagon
Alley. Nor was it clean and overloaded with goods. Instead, it was bright and
rows of shelves filled with fun, dangerous looking things ran up and down the
stores length. The first thing they saw was a stack of large catalogs sitting on
a counter with a sign next to them reading "Take one." Dennis did and began to
leaf through it, hungrily. "I'll just walk around and see if there's anything
that can help us," Colin said eagerly. It looked as though the Weasley brothers
had put their early departure from Hogwarts to good use. While he had gotten a
pretty good idea of the extent of Fred and George's inventory at Hogwarts, the
store showed exactly what creative thinking and hours spent in History of Magic
could do. He was surrounded by the old classics-Ton Tongue Toffees, fake wands,
and Canary Creams. Skiving lunchboxes were on special for Hogwarts students: the
image of a student thoroughly enjoying himself while his classmates languished
in boredom was pinned up on an advertisement board. Colin passed by them and
smiled, remembering how Dennis had bravely (foolishly) volunteered to be the
only second year test subject. He'd thrown up for about thirty minutes,
eventually he descended into dry heaves but Dennis still insisted the money more
than made up for the puking.
Colin frowned as he passed a row of books stuffed into a bookshelf. They
looked like the Hogwarts textbooks sold in Flourish and Blotts and Colin pulled
one out, wondering what exactly they were doing in this store. The copy he had
was One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi and it was for sale. In a store owned
by the Weasley's. "You have to tap it with your wand and say 'Oblivion,'" a
helpful voice told him and Colin jumped and turned around. Standing behind him
and grinning proudly was one of the Weasley twins.
"Alright," Colin said nervously and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He
tapped it and the inside font changed from descriptions of herbs to the colorful
drawings of "Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle?" Colin said in amazement.
The twin smiled proudly. "Of course, this is just the original sub-story.
The publishers of "Martin Miggs" paid us a nice sum to put a sampling issue in
it. Once you buy it, it can naturally be replaced with anything you'd rather be
reading."
"Anything can be hidden in there? That's ingenious, Weasley." When in
doubt, use the last name.
"Thank you," he said, giving a modest bow. "You can only imagine how the
History of Magic books have been flying off the shelves-"
"Really? Why? Binns would never notice if the whole class got up and
started to jig, much less read a different book."
Weasley laughed. "I don't ask; I just sell."
"Well, it's a good idea anyway, and you could bet I'd be getting one for
potions if I didn't think it was more than my life is worth to be caught not
paying attention in there."
Fred/George looked aghast. "You mean, you're not here to empty your money bag?"
Colin smiled grimly. "I didn't say that. As it happens, Dennis and I are here to
see if you have anything to help us deal with a filchian problem."
The twin looked impressed. "You've managed to irritate Filch during the
holidays? Well done, Creevey."
"Er, actually, no. We've irritated his muggle counterpart."
Now he looked very impressed. "Oh, now that's intriguing. Come on up front and
let's see if we can't help you out." They weaved back through the tall shelves
and reached the front counter where Dennis was crouched on a stool, voraciously
reading through the catalog. "Don't drool on it, younger Creevey, or else you'll
have to buy it. Oy, Fred!" George (now Colin knew) shouted.
"Just a sec...having problems with the-Ow! I'll be right there!" His voice
sounded a bit panicked but George smiled benignly and leaned against the
counter. Finally Fred appeared from behind the booth, flicking his hand in the
air and grimacing. Then he looked up and saw the two of them standing there and
all signs of pain vanished and a smile appeared. "Aha! More young deviants from
Hogwarts. How may we corrupt you today?"
"Well, we'll start with the dungbombs," Dennis said in a faraway voice, still
lost within the catalog, "then maybe the professional box of fireworks-"
Colin interrupted him impatiently. "No, we don't need that. We need your
advice." He leaned in over the counter. "We need a way to distract a muggle
policeman who seems to be channeling Filch and that is without magic and without
cluing anyone onto what we're doing."
Fred looked fascinated. "An alarm of sorts, you mean?"
"Yes, just to give us enough time to get away so we can keep practicing
Quidditch."
"Are you two going to try out for the team this year?" George asked.
Dennis beamed and turned the page in the catalog. "Yes, for beaters."
"Ah. Well, best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll do fine. Then again, anyone
would be fine over the two useless beaters whom we shall not name we had on our
team last year." All four of them cringed at the memory. Gryffindor's final
victory had been nothing short of a miracle and the games still gave them bangs
of misery and embarrassment.
"We've been trying to get in form all summer but we seem to have irritated the
local law enforcement," Colin told them. "He is determined to arrest us or at
the very least, kick us out of the park."
Fred tsked. "Muggles. They have no understanding of the importance of
Quidditch."
"Hmm," George rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then swiped the catalog away from
Dennis and flipped to the back, where he had a sort of index. He read quietly
for a few minutes and the others looked on. Fred rubbed the fingers of his right
hand absentmindedly. After a few minutes, George closed the book with a thump.
"Well, there's nothing in there that you could use, especially if you want to do
this without using underage magic. Look, we'll sleep on it for a while and let
you know if we come up with anything, okay?" He paused. Colin and Dennis gave
their agreement and George went on. "Excellent. In the meantime, any orders you
would like to place would be -appreciated." The twins looked at Dennis and Colin
expectantly and Colin knew what they meant. As they say, one hand washes the
other. He pulled out his moneybag. "I'll take a couple of Headless Hats and
Canary Creams-"
They met up with their parents at Fortesque's an hour and many galleons later,
their arms filled with all sorts of goodies guaranteed to make Agnes' head spin.
Admittedly, that had been Colin's motivation when buying most of the objects. He
thought of her turning into a bright yellow canary, grinned maliciously and took
a large bite of his ice cream sundae in order to hide it. They hadn't achieved
their main objective in going to Diagon alley but tomorrow was another day. One
Colin found himself looking forward to immensely.
