Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or and of its characters. Legolas: My horse is bigger than your horse. Haldir: No, it isn't. My horse is bigger than your horse. Legolas: I beg to differ! My horse Me: Please! Size doesn't matter. It's what you do with the horse that counts.
Chapter 3
The First Event
In the Locker Room
Legolas and Haldir were each a bundle of nerves, although both would have rather French kissed an Orc than let the other know it. Sitting on the bench in the Locker Room, they were preparing to dress for the day's event.
"Sowhat event do you think they have planned for us?" Legolas said casually, whipping off the towel from around his waist, and picking up his breeches.
"How should I know? Whatever it is, I'll kick your butt at it," Haldir replied haughtily, towel drying his long, silver hair.
"The hell you will! I'll be kicking your Silvan ass into next week."
"Rightyou just keep thinking that," Haldir snorted, dropping the towel from his waist and stepping into his breeches.
"Did you hear the Elleths scream my name when I rode out on the field, yesterday?" Legolas asked, grinning as he braided his hair.
"You mean those three old crones with the warts and missing teeth? Yeah, I heard them."
"No, I mean the hundreds of beauties that were screaming my name!"
"You're sadly mistaken, mellon nin - they were screaming my name!"
"The only ones screaming your name were those three old guys with warts and missing teeth!"
"Take that back!" Haldir yelled, pushing Legolas backward.
"Not a chance!" Legolas shouted, giving Haldir a push.
Within moments, the two were rolling around on the locker room floor, pummeling each other.
That's exactly how Erestor found them, when he came to tell them it was time to begin.
The First Event
Aragorn's Choice
Greased Dwarf Tossing
Trumpets blared, alerting the crowd that the first event was about to begin. Taking their seats, the packed house turned their attention once again to the white awning on the right side The judges were in their seats, waiting patiently on the field.
Elrond rose and addressed the crowd. "Welcome to the First Event in the Rivendell Olympiad! Today's event was handpicked by our first judge, King Aragorn of Gondor!" Elrond shouted, gesturing to Aragorn, who stood and waved at the crowd. "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"
The crowd was on its feet, screaming, and waving little flags on which either "Legolas" or "Haldir" were written in Elven Runes.
The trumpets sounded again. Legolas and Haldir walked, or rather limped, onto the field. Legolas' braids had been partially pulled out, and he had the beginnings of a shiner. Haldir sported a bloody nose and a lip that was quickly reaching obesity. The crowd's cheers trailed off as the champions made their way to stand before Elrond.
"What the devil have you two been doing? ERESTOR!" Elrond shouted, looking for his advisor.
"Yes, Elrond?" Erestor answered from just behind him."What happened?"
"We left them alone for a few minutes - that's what happened."
Sighing, Elrond addressed Legolas and Haldir. "Do you two think you could avoid sending one another to the Halls of Manos long enough to finish the competition? Afterward, I don't care if you skin each other alive and feed the pieces to the nearest wargbut until thenHANDS OFF!"
"Yes, Elrond," they answered, hanging their heads, and looking chagrined.
"Today's event has been chosen by Aragorn. The name of the event is Greased Dwarf Tossing. In short, you will each have one chance to see who can catch and toss a greased Dwarf the furthest. Haldir, you will be tossing his Majesty, King of Durin's Folk, Thrain III. Legolas, you will be tossing Gimli, son of Gloin."
Legolas and Haldir looked at each other.
"Dwarf tossing? Are they serious?" Haldir asked Legolas, looking quite befuddled, swollen lip and all.
"Gimli does not take to being tossed. Neither does any other Dwarf I know," Legolas answered, looking equally confused.
"To the starting line, please" Elrond commanded, pointing to a white line that had been drawn on the grass. A series of red lines were painted all the way up the field in even increments, to help mark the distance the Dwarf was tossed.
At each end of the starting line, a large vat had been set up. Two Elves stood leaning over each vat, obviously holding on to something in the vat that was squirming and flinging about, to judge from the curses and splashes emanating from the wooden barrels.
"On your mark." Elrond called, "Get set" he motioned to the four Elves at the vats, and the Elves pulled two struggling, oil slicked Dwarves out and set them running on the field.
"GO!"
Legolas and Haldir looked first at each other, then at the quickly moving Dwarves. The two champions burst from the starting line at the same moment, each chasing after the Dwarf to whom they had been named.
"Gimli, slow down!" Legolas shouted, trying to catch up to the Dwarf who was running as quickly as his little greased legs would take him, first dodging one way, then zigzagging the other. Each time Legolas would manage to get a hand on him, he would slip away.
Haldir was faring no better than Legolas, while trying to catch Thrain. The equally well-coated Dwarf ran in circles, managing to slip from Haldir's grip each time the Elf laid a hand on him.
The crowd was laughing and shouting encouragement to their favorite, watching the Elves and the Dwarves crisscross the field in a frenzy.
Finally, Haldir saw an opening and threw himself over Thrain, pinning the slippery Dwarf to the ground with his body. He wrapped his arms securely around the Dwarven King, and stood up. The crowd cheered his efforts as he jogged back to the starting line with his prize.
Haldir spun around in place several times, holding the Dwarf under the arms, and finally let go in a mighty heave, sending Thrain flying over the red lines to land a full third of the way down the field. An Elf in a black and white striped robe jogged out to the field, and marked the spot where Thrain had landed.
Legolas followed Haldir's lead, and bodily tackled Gimli, who never let up the string of curses he had been spilling since being released from the vat. Spinning about several times, Legolas threw Gimli as hard as he could, sending the Dwarf sailing through the air to land just a hairsbreadth behind the spot Thrain had landed. The black and white striped robed Elf marked this spot as well.
The judges conferred for a moment, then Aragorn stood and addressed the crowd.
"Well played, these competitors are indeed both mighty, erhurlers. However, Haldir did manage to exceed Legolas' throw by a hair, and so I declare the winner of this event to beHaldir, March Warden of Lothlorien!"
The crowd cheered, those with "Haldir" banners waving them frantically as Haldir and Legolas both bowed to the judges, and to Elrond, and walked out of the field.
Elrond stood, and spoke to the crowd. "This concludes the first eventbut there are four more to follow! The next event begins at the same time tomorrow!"
